Dear Leader but He's In Equestria

by RickAndMicrophone

Chapter Four(: Ragnarok) but Jim gets a surprise and flexes his masterful skills at Bop It™

One day ago...

Flashback noises can be heard and the stage is now set in Ireland, where the 1.9 million subscribed YouTuber by the name of Call Me Kevin starts recording his famous Sims 4 gameplay series.

"Hey there, friends. How's it going. My name is Kevin and today we're playing the Sims 4," the only Irish YouTuber in the world greeted.

During this playthrough, Kevin gets Jim Pickens to build a restaurant over someone else's home. Jim uses this restaurant to sell terribly cooked pufferfish. Everything was going smoothly for most of the time, but Kevin noticed that his favorite sim was glowing yellow.

"It must've been the breadsticks," Kevin joked. "They must be what's giving Jim this heavenly glow."

Suddenly, the Dear Leader disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving a shocked looking Kevin. It was silent for a good minute before Kevin spoke again.

"The feck just happened to Jim? Is my game broken?"

Kevin was upset that one of his channel icons had just disappeared right in front of him, but he had a plan.

He constantly hit random keys on his keyboard and clicked several times with his mouse. When that didn't work, he decided to execute plan B.

"Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to end this episode here. Hopefully EA makes a patch for this like before, because I don't want to have to make a Jim Pickens-less Sims 4 episode. It just wouldn't sit well with either of us. Anyways, thank you for watching. I appreciate it as always and I do hope to see you next time. Bye for now."

Kevin could only hope the Dear Leader would return with an EA patch. That's a terrible fecking plan! Fictional Kevin is so stupid!

Now back to the present...

"Ah. What a wonderful dream," Jim said as he woke up from his slumber.

"Good morning, Jim," Twilight yawned, having also just woken up. "I assume you slept well."

Jim, not bothering to respond, noticed the baby dragon acting like he was choking on something. What he coughed out was some green flame, which morphed into a piece of paper.

Was he eating paper in his sleep?, Jim wondered. Makes sense, because he ate gems last night. Must be a severe case of pica. And it looks like he wasn't lying about breathing fire. He's still not scary in the slightest, though.

"A letter from Princess Celestia? This early in the morning? Must be urgent," Twilight noted. "What does it say Spike?"

Spike began to read the letter:

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Luna's been acting... peculiar... since she woke up this morning. She's been blaming it on the dreams of a human. However, there's only one human in Equestria and he didn't seem like a huge threat to the land when I first met him. By "met him" I mean teleport him to our world. He's actually from another world and I'm working on opening a portal to his home, so you don't need to worry about that. All I need you to do is make sure he doesn't do anything that would completely annihilate ponykind. Befriend him, too. Right now, I'm trying to calm Luna down and make sure SHE doesn't do anything that would completely annihilate ponykind. Anyways, report any suspicious activity in Ponyville that may be the result of the human's actions. You've probably seen him around Ponyville. He kind of looks like a minotaur without horns. He goes by the name "Jim Pickens" and he wears glasses.

Sorry about the rushed letter. Luna just threw a vase at one of the guards. Don't bother replying, I'm going to have to take her to a therapist. Just find Jim and make sure he doesn't cause somepony else to go insane.

Your concerned teacher,
Princess Celestia

P.S. She keeps saying "feck." What does that even mean?

That... what was the term she used? Alimony? Whatever. That princess shouldn't have went into my dreams if she didn't want that to happen, Jim scolded in his mind.

"How did you even make Princess Luna go crazy like that?" Twilight inquired. "She hasn't been that crazy since she was sent to the moon for 1000 years by her sister."

"I'd probably do the same thing to my siblings if I had any," Jim replied. "and to answer your question, Mrs. I-already-forgot-your-name, she went into my dreams. You wouldn't want to see my dreams."

"I'll... take your word for it. Also, my name is Twilight Sparkle," the purple pony said, slightly peeved, "It looks like you're going to have to follow me around now, so you don't do anything to scare the Ponyville residents. I mean, you made a princess go ballistic last night in your sleep. Who knows what you're going to do while awake! Making you follow me all day will also allow me to show you around Ponyville and everypony can get used to you being around. Right now, I'm going to Sugarcube Corner with Spike to get some breadsticks, because we just ran out. I'll just grab some bits and-"

"That's the currency here, right?" Jim asked, hoping he can start collecting money to get things for what he's planning.

Twilight nodded. "Yes, but I don't think you should worry too much about money right now. Just follow me and Spike. We'll introduce you to some of our closest friends."

I hope they're not as overprotective as this bitch, Jim thought. I want to overthrow the diarchy and start my cult as soon as possible, starting with that witch that ran away from me yesterday. And this Twilight Zone sounds really intelligent compared to the people back home, so I probably have to be careful with who I kill and how I kill. They probably have morals or something. I don't want to get myself arrested.

---

The moment they went downstairs, everything was dark for some reason. When they turned on the light...

SURPRISE!!!!!!!

Everybody and their grandma (seriously, there was an old pony in a rocking chair at the party) had showed up to Twilight's tree house for... something. Jim didn't understand until he saw the giant banner.

WELCOME TO PONYVILLE, WEIRD TALKING HAIRLESS MONKEY

Jim didn't react, but he knew that should've been worded better.

Before the confused trio could say anything, the pink witch pony who Jim wants for his cult hopped on top of the poor man, knocking him over.

"Hiya," the pink one suddenly greeted. She held out a hoof and violently shook Jim's hand. "my name is Pinkie Pie. I'm throwing you party since your new to Ponyville! We got pin-the-tail-on-the-monkey, Twister™, Bop It™, darts-"

"Why the feck are you throw-" Jim was about to ask, but was interrupted.

"I throw parties for every new pony around here."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Fair enough," Jim conceded. (Never thought I'd put those two words together.) Pinkie Pie paused, shrugged, and dashed off to who knows where. Jim got up from the ground and realized he forgot to do something very important.

I forgot to ask her to join my cult, Jim thought. I should ask her next time.

Twilight whispered to Jim, "I should warn you. Pinkie Pie defies all logic and reasoning. Don't try and figure out how she can do the stuff she does." Jim just nodded, knowing that his own world can also sometimes do mysterious things. Twilight and Spike just stayed at the party. Twilight just sat there and read a book like a boring person, while Spike went to play darts as one of the only two entities at the party that had opposable thumbs.

Before he could enjoy the party thrown for him, which automatically made it the best party thrown in the land, Pinkie Pie grabbed Jim and made him greet every single one of her friends. Some were more interesting to talk to than others.

There was Applejack, who apparently lived at the Sweet Apple Acres the purple one and the "scary" dragon were about to go to before the surprise party. She was also the granddaughter of the old lady in the rocking chair mentioned earlier, named Granny Smith. She really liked to talk about her family, the fact that she has incredible strength, and the cooked apple desserts she made for the surprise party, which she claims are very delicious. Jim simply replied that she reminds him of the K-Pop artist known as Johnny Cash. Applejack didn't understand the reference, but took it as a compliment anyway.

Then there was Rainbow Dash, a pegasus who bragged about being the "fastest flier in all of Equestria." Jim was intrigued when she mentioned she possessed an element of loyalty, mainly because he was searching for potential cult members and he prefers cult members that are loyal to the cult. She kept bragging about wanting to be in some group known as the Wonderbolts. Jim wasn't paying attention. After not listening to an extremely detailed description of the flying group mentioned earlier, a white unicorn came up to the trio and introduced herself to Jim.

"Hello, darling. My name is Rarity," she greeted.

"Jim Pickens."

Immediately, she judges the Dear Leader's clothing choices and offers to make him a dress. She explains that she owns a boutique where she makes beautiful dresses for her friends and customers. "As long as you also make a bear costume with the dress," Jim replied. He wanted to keep his current clothing, because he didn't like that he was judged for his attire and he wanted the bear costume to scare the pony children. Rarity hesitated for a moment before agreeing to take the totally normal request from the Dear Leader.

A yellow pegasus named Fluttershy had also tried to introduce herself to the new human, but she was so quiet that Pinkie Pie had to introduce her to Jim. Jim thought she was mute and simply replied, "I don't think she understands sign language. She doesn't have hands." It took some explaining for Jim to realize she wasn't mute and she just spoke in a really low volume. All he learned about her besides the fact she's shy was that she took care of animals and offered him to stay with her if things didn't work out with Twilight.

I mean I already hate this Twilight bitch, but she provides me breadsticks, Jim thought. Speaking of which, is she going to buy more of those breadsticks?

Out of nowhere, Pinkie Pie gave Twilight a bunch of breadsticks. "I know you just ran out," she explained. "Thanks," Twilight replied. "I was just about to buy some from Sugarcube Corner." Jim saw no reason to leave the tree house with all these breadsticks in it. Did I mention Jim really likes breadsticks?

While the group of friends was talking about Jim, with Twilight mentioning the strange letter, Jim decided to play Bop It™. About 2 minutes into his Bop It™ session, ponies started to notice how good he was at the game and cheered him on.

Pull It!

Twist It!

Bop It!

20 minutes later...

"Alright everypony," Twilight announced. "Party's over."

"But the human is still playing Bop It™," a pony named Lyra whined.

Twist It!

Twist It!

Pull It!

There was still a large group surrounding Jim and cheering him on.

"Wow! 100 Master Level. You beat Bop It™!" was announced for the 11th time in a row.

"Twelve! Twelve! Twelve!" chanted the remaining party guests.

"I don't feel like it," Jim replied. "I already showed enough of my skill."

"Aw..."

"GET OUT!" commanded Twilight. Only her five close pony friends, the dragon servant, and the only character everybody cares about remained. Spike was severely injured, as he had accidentally shot darts into the backside of some ponies.

He really needs to work on his accuracy. Jim thought. Maybe his dart skills will come into good use.

Twilight waved her social circle goodbye and checked her to-do list.
"Well it looks like I got everything done that I need done today," she said. "Why don't we just go to the park?"

"Even if I didn't want to go, I probably can't refuse, so I think we definitely should go to the park!" Jim responded.

"Are you just gonna read some of your dumb books when we get there?" Spike asked. The purple pony ignored the "threatening" dragon and asked, "Do you want to go to the park or not?"

"Sure, why not."

Author's Note:

It's been a while since I first looked at this weird fanfiction I decided to create. I don't know how I'm gonna end this shit, but I know this story's chapters will go into the double digits... probably.

There were originally more chapters to this, but after a few months of hiatus, a short lived cancellation, and a rereading of this I said to myself, "What the feck am I reading? This is stupid and not even funny." and I deleted the chapters that caused such a reaction. I'm only really continuing this, because I don't like leaving things incomplete (and of course because the Dear Leader is in this).

Do they even have a park in the show?... Actually, I don't care. It does now.

Also, this is actually the original Chapter 4 written less than a year ago, but with several changes, because I wanted to go a completely different route with this plot, but everything else after this is gonna be done from scratch.

Comments

[Asda]

Nice

[Horrible_Writer]

Automatic best story on this site

[Dead Gods Dream]

Just saw the cover art and this is immediately the best story. All hail Dear Leader.

[RickAndMicrophone]

9630963

9630968
I see you two are simple men (or women. We don't discriminate. Everyone dies in the hands of Jim equally).
See Jim Pickens somewhere and it's automatically the best thing ever.
I like you guys.

[SoulstringsReburn]

Your concerned teacher, Princess Celestia

I read that as “concerned father, Princess Celestia”