//------------------------------// // 50: Falling down on all that I've ever known. // Story: Xenophilia: Further tales. // by TheQuietMan //------------------------------// Falling down on all that I've ever known. Chapter published 24th Sept 2013 ************ November AC1223 Lifting a forehoof to her face, Lyra pushed a few wayward strands of her mane out of her eyes. Though the city of Canterlot was well into the winter season by now, this morning wasn’t as windy as it had been in recent days. Even so, it was more than enough to push her mane around, flapping against her ears and face as the whims of the wind commanded. Her lofty position, seated as she was on the large flat roof of herd Lero’s apartment, meant the wind was stronger than it would have been had she been down at street level all those many body lengths below. The chill wind pushed at her coat, attempting to steal any precious heat that it could from the skin beneath her fur, but she didn’t care. She’d dealt with far worse conditions over the years. Catching sight of a number of ponies far below, casually making their way to their jobs or off to meet with friends or family, she found herself being hit with a strong sense of deja vu. Memories of years long past came to her, each jostling for her undivided attention.   Had it really been so long now? It seemed like an entire lifetime ago that she had last taken in this lonely view. A lifetime? Yes, but not her lifetime... more somepony else’s life, a different pony. Certainly not her life. Not anymore. ~~~~~~~~~~~ December AC1207 The Canterlot city drunk tank was not a nice place to be. For starters, the smell was appalling. The sour stink of sweat and bile and... various other bodily secretions permeated the air. The second reason was the lack of either heating or cooling, meaning it baked in summer and froze in winter. The small solitary window at the end of the main corridor was in no way sufficient to allow enough breeze though to counter the summer heat, but still let in enough of the freezing winter chill to pervade the farthest corners of every single cell or pen. It didn’t help that the smell meant that there was no time of the year during which the window could be closed. But then, it wasn’t meant to be a nice place. By design it was supposed to put ponies off of the idea of ever ending up here again. And for the most part, it worked; the threat of a return trip usually more than enough to dissuade all the but the most antisocial - or inebriated - of Canterlot’s denizens. Some ponies, however, seemed to end up here a lot more often than they should. The ‘tank’ itself - created from an old repurposed guard barracks on the outskirts of the city - was made up of a number of individual brick-walled cells along one side of a long corridor with an equal number of large, open-topped wooden pens along the other side. The pens, with their water troughs and straw bedding, were for those who were inebriated-into-oblivion to sleep off the nasty side-effects of their frivolities. The cells however, were for the more troublesome of the tank’s ‘guests’ - usually those who’d either been caught fighting or could be considered a danger to either the rest of the city’s populace, the city guards or even to themselves. Slowly making her way down the corridor, obviously in no real hurry, was a single royal guard.  With her armour in place, its inbuilt enchantment still running, she looked just like any other royal guardsmare, with the regulation bone white coat and horn and with both her mane and tail in striped two tone blue. Passing empty cell after empty cell, she finally reached the last, the one closest to the open window. Inside was the tank’s only remaining resident for the night. A particularly troublesome young mare who been here often enough to know exactly how the system worked by now. The guardsmare watched the figure within the cell for a moment, their guest curled up in a ball on the thin and (deliberately) uncomfortable bed hanging from the wall. The cell’s inhabitant made no sound, no indication that she knew she had a visitor, instead making a half-decent job of feigning sleep. Reaching out with a single armour clad forehoof, the guard kicked at the metal bars of the cell door, a resounding ‘clang’ echoing around the large and otherwise deserted corridor. “So, Heartstrings,” she called through the door. “Back again I see.” She waited for a response, but none was forthcoming. Their guest didn't move, didn't turn to look who was there. The only indication that she was even alive was a tiny twitch of a single mint-green ear. Coupling a specially coded spell from her own horn with the identification spell woven into her armour, the guardsmare unlocked the cell door, letting it swing slowly out into the corridor with an (also deliberate) annoyingly loud squeal of metal grinding on metal . “Time’s up, Heartstrings. You’re free to go,” The incumbent made no move to move. If anything she just curled herself into a tighter ball. Sighing, the guard walked into the middle of the cell, leaving the door open behind her. As she came close to the other unicorn’s side, the guest lifted her head, revealing quite an impressive black eye with the eyelids swollen shut and a large circle of dark puffiness already well developed around the socket. Around her mouth were a number of traces of dried blood with tracks of the same leaving matted patches in the fur around her neck. Around her horn was a guard-issue horn wrap, effectively keeping her magic locked away. Even though her hooves were free, the wrap couldn't be removed by force until an authorised guard dispelled its seal. Not without ripping away the outer layer of alicorn at least, the act of which would probably be painful enough to knock out all but the most powerful and/or insane unicorn. The guardsmare let loose a low whistle. Somepony had certainly been in the wars today. “Girl, you look like crap.” The mint green unicorn just responded - if it could even be called that - with a look of resigned disinterest. “Humph, you shoulda seen the other mare,” she muttered, resting her chin gingerly back on her crossed forehooves. “I did,” the guard responded “We let her go about an hour ago. Hobbled off outta here with her tail between her legs. You’re both real lucky this isn’t being taken any further.” The young unicorn closed her eyes, making no indication that she was at all interested in embracing her newfound freedom. Her attempt to return to her rest was short-lived however as an armoured foot collided with the bed. Opening one eye she found the guard making ‘shoo’ing motions with a forehoof. But, and this was the surprising part, she wasn't being ‘shoo’d towards the open cell door, but away from it, towards the far wall. “Come on, budge up, kid. I’ve been on shift since sunrise and my old hooves hurt like crazy.” Surprised by the sudden (and strangely worded) request - and though she might not have liked to admit it, her natural instincts to obey an older mare of established authority were kicking in - the young mare shuffled along the bed, attempting to make enough room for a the older unicorn to sit down. But the bed was small, by design only big enough for one pony; there’d be no way a second would ever fit. After taking her helmet off and resting it on the floor, the guardsmare turned around, pushing the back of her hind legs against the edge of the bed before hopping backwards onto the end of the lumpy mattress. With a loud ‘clang,’ the spine of her armour hit the wall as she shuffled herself backwards into place, her hind legs dangling over the edge of the bed as she sat, spine rigidly upright, the back of her head resting against the wall. The guest just stared at her, baffled by the sheer absurdity of the action. Who in their right mind would ever sit like that? Back upright, rump straight down, legs out front? It looked so... so.. uncomfortable. The younger unicorn watched as the guard tapped at the front of her chestplate with a forehoof, the chestplate in return releasing its enchantment, the bulky armour relaxing around its wearer’s frame as straps and catches sagged and loosened, ready to be unbuckled. “Aahh, that’s better. This stuff can get a bit tight when you’ve been wearing it for two shifts straight.” As the armour’s glamour was broken, the great swathes of stark white fur making up her coat and the blue of her mane and tail were gradually replaced by two tone pink. Around her head and the ends of her legs were dark pink, fading to a much lighter shade as the further one’s eye moved towards the centre of her barrel. Her mane was also a deep pink at the front, fading to almost white - much as her coat had - the further it progressed down her crest towards her withers, while her tail also faded from dark to light as it approached her dock. As the last of the glamour faded it was easy to see the patterning of a pony with a strong Neighponese heritage displayed quite clearly now that her regulation royal guard colouration had been removed. From the many strands of gray in her mane and the now visible dark marks around her eyes, it was also easy to see that this guard was getting on a bit in years. “So,” the guard started, wiggling her rear in search of the least lumpy spot on the world’s crappiest mattress. “What’s your story then, Heartstrings? Door’s open and you're still here. Nowhere to go?” Momentarily entranced though she was by both her visitor's strange posture and her distinctive patterning, the younger unicorn was brought back to earth by the sudden question, and the implication that came with it. “Not Heartstrings, don’t call me Heartstrings,” she said, turning her head away “I'm not her anymore. Haven’t been for a long time.” “Really?” The guard arched an eyebrow at this particular piece of news. “So who are you then? You this ‘Harpflank’ I’ve been pulling in these past few years? The teenage tearaway we’ve busted time and again for shoplifting, brawling, vandalism, public indecency? Are you her instead?” “Yes, no.. I don’t know any more.” The young mare threw her forehooves up in a display of... Was it exasperation? Was it frustration? “I don’t think I want to be her anymore either.” The guard spent a few moments polishing a small dent on the front of her armour with a forehoof, leaving silence hanging in the air before she spoke again. “So, what should I call you then?” “Does it matter?” the guest snapped, resting her head back on her refolded forehooves, glaring at her inquisitor, though the effect was lost somewhat, what with only currently having one good eye with which to glare with. “Yes.” The guard made sure to catch her squarely in the eyes... eye. “Your file has Heartstrings as your birth name, but you don’t go by that, do you? So what’s your cutie name? I’m betting it’s not Harpflank. So who are you, really? Deep inside?” The mint green unicorn looked like she wasn’t even going to entertain the idea of answering, her expression stubbornly defiant. But after a few moments that changed, the lopsided scowl slowly replaced with an expression generally only seen on those who were completely sick and tired of the world and wish it would all just buck off and leave them alone. “It’s Lyra.” She said quietly “Just.. just Lyra.” “‘Lyra’, huh? Good name, I like it. Kinda poetic.” The guard rubbed a forehoof idly against her chin “I’m Sakura. Sergeant Sakura Hanami to be all official. But you already knew that, didn’t you? Gramps always did insist on calling me Yozakura though.” Leaning over, Sgt Sakura held out a forehoof towards Lyra, leaving it hanging in the air between them. After staring at it for a while, as if to check it wasn’t going to bite her, Lyra extended a forehoof of her own, bumping the two together in the common Equestrian greeting. “Nice to meet you, Lyra.” The guard grinned, the wideness of her smile displaying her old but well kept set of pearly white teeth, but also making it just about possible to notice that she was missing a single tooth at the back left. “So, what’s been happening with you?” “Went dri... out, got into a fight, got busted, ended up here.” Lyra was tired, too tired to argue, too tired to keep secrets. By now she wanted, needed, somepony to talk to, so why not her?. She’d been bottling everything up for far too long now. Why not talk? After all, it couldn’t get any worse, could it?. “Ah-ha. And nopony’s come to get you out?” “We both know I’d have been out of here hours ago if that had happened. So, no, nopony came for me.” “Friends?” “Nope.” “Family? Parents?” “Heck no.” “Ah.” With her chin back on her forehooves, Lyra closed her eye, blocking out the world, even if only from just one of her senses. “They won’t come for me.  They say I’ve brought shame upon the herd. Perhaps they’re right.” Pushing her chin from side to side against the back of her hooves, Lyra could feel the mixture of dirt, sweat, blood and tears mingling with her fur. She felt dirty, unclean. A long shower would really hit the spot about now. But would it be enough? Would she ever feel clean again? “If I were them, I sure wouldn’t want a daughter like me, ‘specially when they’ve got so many perfect little fillies already, and their oooooh so precious little colt. Why would they want me? Some stupid, ugly little marechild who just hangs out at parties or gets into fights or has to be bailed out’a the drunk tank or lets some complete son of a burro...” Like a mare on the edge of a cliff who’d realised she was about to drop, she pulled back, clamping her jaw closed before she went any further. Opening her eye and looking back over her shoulder, she found the guard looking her way, no discernible expression gracing her tired old face save a single raised eyebrow. “Well, you know the kind of things I’ve done, the ponies I hang with, you've had the pleasure of my company often enough.” “That’s true.” Sgt Sakura nodded, “We’ve got a special shelf for casefiles like yours, kid - right near the booking office door, easy to get at. No point even filing them away as they’ll just be needed again soon enough. I've been through your file time and again. I probably know the bones of you better than I do some of my own family by now.” The guardspony reached over and tapped the younger mare on the shoulder. It wasn’t a pat or a stroke or a familial gesture, but it was contact all the same. “Between you and me,” she said, the raised eyebrow replaced by a conspiratorial smirk, “if Private Armour ever finds out you were the one who took a leak in his helmet last spring... Well let's just say he wouldn't be at all pleased, so we’d best keep that one to ourselves, hmm?” Unbidden, a flush came to Lyra’s cheeks. “You knew that was me?” The smirk only got smirkier. “I do now.” Reaching into her armour with her telekinesis, Sgt Sakura pulled out a battered pack of salt sticks. Shaking one loose she stuck it in her mouth, holding it between her lips as she began to suck on it. Levitating the pack over to her companion, she shook out a second stick and offered it to Lyra, who gingerly took it with her hooves and rested it between her own lips. “It’s bad habit, I know,” the older mare winked, “just don’t tell anypony, okay?” Lyra just nodded before the two of them settled down for a few welcome moments of peace and quiet. No more words passed between them in the otherwise deserted cellblock, leaving the regular ticking of the clock on the wall outside the cell and the distant bustle of the city seeping in from the small window below it as the only sounds to be heard. Closing her eye, Lyra tried to imagine what was going on outside these walls, out on the streets of the sleeping city. After a few minutes the older mare reached down to rub at her rear hooves, which the youngster took as an opportunity to break the silence. “It’s true you know, I’m no good. I just let everypony down. I’ve fallen... I’ve fallen and I can’t get back up.” Silence reigned once more and it looked like the conversation may have petered out again. After a while Sakura spoke, her voice soft like she was imparting some great secret.. “We all fall, Lyra, and there’s often nothing we can do about that. But sometimes falling isn’t so bad, it means you’re still moving, still living. You can be both absolutely still and yet you're moving at the same time. It’s when you stop falling, stop moving, that’s when it’s all over. If you could fall forever, to learn to control your descent, to choose your own path, then you’d be fine.” Lyra opened her good eye, just a crack, to find Sakura had closed hers, her head leant back against the cold cell wall behind her. To be honest, most of that had just gone over the minty unicorn’s head and just sounded like some kind of philosophical claptrap. But, at least the guard was trying to help, and it wasn't like she had any other place to be right now, no urgent appointments to keep, no pony waiting up for her to come home. “I just can't control my temper,” the young unicorn said, closing her eye again as she let the end of the salt stick roll about between her lips, “These... urges, these instincts just kick in. I just ending hurting ponies... or hurting myself. I spend a lot of time trying to forget that they’re there, to keep them quiet by... going out and doing... stuff.” “Instincts help us, Lyra, there's nothing wrong with having them,” the guardsmare offered. “But they have to work for us, not us for them. You have to tame those instincts, control them, rule them. Doing so is what separates ponies from horses. Without control we're nothing but wild animals; eating, sleeping, fighting, rutting, all like mindless beasts.” “Mindless beasts! Ha” Lyra snorted “I know that feeling. What a foal I was. ‘Noblesse oblige’ my plot.” At the sudden change of tone Sakura cracked an eye, just to find the younger mare quietly seething. Anger, no... rage, pure unadulterated unbridled rage covered the unicorn’s face. Between her hooves her partially sucked salt stick lay where it had fallen from her mouth. The older mare easily recognised a desire to hurt, to extract some kind of twisted revenge. It was  written bold as day all across what could otherwise be an extremely pretty face, were it not for the bruising and swollen eye of course. “Something’s changed, hasn't it?” Sakura asked, before adding “Something that caught you off guard, left you scared.” At the way the minty unicorn’s eye shot to hers, the amount of anger she was displaying, from the flicking of her ears to the curling of her upper lip, Sakura was worried for a second that the kid would lash out, that she’d allow her instincts to push her into making a rash decision. The sergeant could handle herself, that was no problem. The kid was a decent street brawler, that was for sure, but she had nothing on decades of training and experience. Sakura prepared to charge her horn to channel a defence spell anyway - it never paid to be overconfident no matter your opponent. But, it looked like the kid had been listening after all and, after a few tense moments, the youngster just closed her eye and let her head droop back onto her hooves. For the next few minutes they sat together in silence, neither mare either moving or speaking. Sakura could hear the other unicorn breathing in the otherwise empty room, evidently trying to control her temper, to keep her breathing slow and steady. The sergeant had to give it to her, the kid was a fast learner. Eventually, Lyra was the one to break the silence. “I was pregnant.” Sakura waited, leaving the younger mare to say more, if she wanted to that was. But when it looked like nothing more would be forthcoming she risked a single-word question. “Was?” “It’s gone now. I lost it.” the youngster pushed her face behind her folded forehooves. “Oh.” “Or maybe it was never there. I... I don’t know any more.” “Oh?” “I tried every testing spell I could find, they all came up positive. I even tried some of those dumb folk remedy tests that earth ponies use, they came up positive too.” “But?” “But... when I told my... stallion he, well, let’s just say he didn’t take it that well.” Lyra rubbed at the side of her face, as if trying to scratch an itch that just wouldn’t go away. “I’d rather not talk about that though.” “Fair enough. So what happened next. What did the rest of your herd do?” “We... we weren’t in a herd.” “Oh, so, just the two of you then?” “Ha! Apparently not even that. Seems I was just his bit of fun. Some dumb filly he could just use and throw away when... when...” Lyra threw her forehooves in the air as she cried “oh, I was such a bucking idiot. I should have known, I should have seen it coming. But I loved him, I loved him so much... and I thought, I really thought he loved me.” Refolding her forelegs and pushing her face back beneath them, all that could be heard for the next few moments was mutterings of “Idiot, such an idiot” between the occasional thump of hoof meeting skull     “You gunna try hurting yourself there, Lyra?” A darkly amused laugh came from beneath the green fur of those crossed forehooves. “Nah, don’t think so. I’m too busy telling myself what an idiot I’ve been.” “Good. Cos if you did then I’d have to do something about it and I really do not want to be pulling a triple shift tonight, thank you very much.” “No, we’re good. Thanks.” The forehooves parted by a scant few hornwidths and a single golden eye could just be seen peeking through the gap. “So, you're not going to call me an idiot too? Tell me how stupid I was to carry on having sex with him even when my last heat came? Point out how dumb it was to get pregnant without even being in a proper herd?” “Nope.” “Oh.” The forehooves fell away to reveal a puzzled face. “Why?” “Why?” The guardsmare gave a short, sharp laugh. “Cos you're a big girl, Lyra. You’ve gained your mark, grown into your curves, obviously had more than a few heats as well. In ancient times that’d have been enough for your birth herd to have kicked you out to make your own way in the world. Thankfully times have changed, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t take responsibility for your own actions.” “Maybe,” a scowl started to creep across the minty young unicorn’s face again, “I can think of some other pony who could do with taking some responsibility.” “Anyway,” Sakura thought it best to get the topic of conversation back on path, and fast. “So what happened next?” “What happened next?” The scowl lessened none. “So, I was out the door. Wasn’t like I could go home though so I just crashed at some friends’ places; slept on sofas, floors, that kind of thing. Or at least for a while. Thing was, pretty soon it seemed like my ‘friends’ just didn't want me around anymore, and all the good times we’d been having, they just went away. Or maybe I just couldn't find them any more, like nothing really mattered. No matter where I turned, there was nothing there for me, nothing that I wanted to be part of anyway.” “Sometimes our world view can suddenly change like that. It’s a shock, but it happens.” Sakura lifted what was left of her salt stick from her lips and waved it around as it could somehow reveal the mysteries of the universe. “And sometimes the ponies we think of as friends are nothing of the sort. Just ‘good time companions’, only friendly for as long as the good times roll.” “Yeah, I’m starting to see that now.” Lyra lifted her own discarded salt stick back between her lips before laying her chin once again on her crossed ankles. “I just wanted... I’m not even sure what I wanted any more. But I thought I’d found it, I’d thought I was happy, thought I had friends who cared, a stallion that loved me, a...” She trailed off, her eyes flicking around the room, searching for only Celestia knew what.   ”Well, I was wrong. Looks like I was wrong about a lot of things, maybe everything. It’s like I was up on stage, performing my way through my own life, and then suddenly everyone else was just... gone, and it was just me left on my own again. “I’ve spent a lot of time, this past week, sitting on up on roofs around the city, just looking down at the ground, the tiny little ponies and their insignificant little lives, just...“ “Thinking about jumping?” Sakura asked quietly, though her tone made clear that the question was deadly serious. “No, no, I’d never...” The very suggestion brought the minty mare’s head around, looking the guard directly in the eye before turning away again in shame. “I don’t know. I might have, a little bit. Mainly I kept wondering what it’d be like to be a pegasus, to be able to just fly away like a bird... or a butterfly. Go somewhere else...” A mint green head returned to its hiding place under the hooves. “...be somepony else. I... I don’t want to be a bad girl any more.” “Not such a great life, you know, being a butterfly. not a lot of strength to it.” A deep pink hoof came gently to rest on top of a green and white mane. “Not so great being a bad girl either, not much future to it.” The single hoof moved slowly back and forth in a gentle stroking motion. “You ever heard of the Still Way?” the older mare asked after a few moments. Lyra lifted her head from under her hooves, the pink hoof back at the guard’s side as if it had never moved. “That far eastern ‘everything is connected’ meditation thingy” The young unicorn waved her hooves around as it to demonstrate quite what she thought of the aforementioned martial art’s metaphysical mumbo jumbo. “Yeah,” Sakura laughed. Her voice had an unusually nice quality to it, one the average pony on the street didn’t often get to hear. “You should give it a try. Yeah it’s got more than its fair share of philosophy and meditation, but there’s a lot of physicality to it too. Part of finding the balance is in finding that connection between the mind, the heart and the body. “I've seen you in action, kid. You're a good brawler, rough and undisciplined yeah, but underneath it all you got the flow of a martial artist, and your casting’s pretty quick. Your repertoire’s rather simple though and your channelling’s got no real strength or stability to it but with some practice that’d change. The Still Way has a lot of offensive and defensive spells to it as well as just moving your body.” Lyra looked up, much more interested now. “So it’s about learning to beat ponies up too?” “Yeah, kinda.” Sakura laughed again. It was a sound that Lyra thought she could come to like. “But there’s more than that, much much more. Once you learn about how your spells and all your physical moves work together, how best to deal with a situation before it gets out of hoof and how to plan everything out well ahead, well, you’ll find there’s all these options available to you that don't end up with some pony getting hurt. Often it’s about figuring out the best way to resolve a situation before the first move's even been made.” Noticing that she’d sucked her salt stick down to the last little nubbin, Sakura pulled it from between her lips, opened her mouth and tossed it between her back teeth. “I was like you once,” she said from between a couple of swift crunches and a swallow, “‘til I met somepony who helped me turn it around. They helped me find my centre, to see the balance. I’d spent so long feeling like an outsider that I started expecting it to happen, and once I’d got to that state I just ended up making it happen. And it’s a lonely place, you know, being on the outside.” “On the outside?” Lyra asked, puzzled by the reference. “Yeah,’ the guard waved a hoof over her patterning, the graduation of her colouring marked out her heritage as being non-native to these shores, “My sire weren’t exactly from around these parts.” “Oh, yeah. I noticed.” The green unicorn just shrugged. Those kinds of things had never really meant much to her. To some other Canterlot unicorns, yeah, but not to her. “Being different isn't so bad, once you get a handle on it.” The pink and white unicorn waved a forehoof in Lyra’s direction. “If you can take all those differences and then find the centre between them, you can find yourself a balance. Took me a long time to find that balance.” Sakura spread her forehooves wide out in front of herself, as if seeing the radiant glory of their alicorn princess for the very first time. “'I once was lost, but now am found'.” Lyra couldn’t help but note that subtle note of sarcasm creeping in. “So,“ the younger unicorn laughed mirthlessly, “is this the part where you try giving me some horseapples about letting the creator into my heart, or how this ‘Still Way’ can save my soul or something?” Sakura’s forehooves dropped, turning to face Lyra with a grin somewhere between ‘smug’ and ‘mischievous’. “Buck no, kid. What or who you let into your heart is your own concern, and you need to figure that out for yourself. Seems to me that that’s been part of your problem so far - figuring out who to let in and who to keep out. Looking for love in all the wrong places, no?” Levitating her stashed packet of salt sticks from beneath her armour, the guard thought better of it and returned them to their hiding place. “But The Still Way?” she continued, “I suggest you try it, or something like it. If it doesn't work, then try something else ‘til you find that thing that’s right for you. We’re all different, my girl. What works for one might not work for another. But in one important way we’re all the same - we all need something inside us that can keep our hooves on the ground. “But, if there's one thing that The Way has taught me it’s that, even in my line of work, there's no truly bad ponies, no great evils, no insurmountable mistakes; just ordinary ponies, lost and confused, who've made inappropriate choices and don’t know how to move on from them. “We need our flaws, Lyra, but we need to keep them under control, managed, owned. Our flaws are what make us interesting. And our pasts? We need those too, for better or worse, they help teach us what to do next, where to go with our lives. Anyway, all those happy happy ponies out there, the ones who’ve had perfect lives right from the start? They have no stories, Lyra, no interesting ones at least. “But still, you’ve got to ask yourself, kid, what are you looking for, who is it you want to save you? If you're looking to anypony but yourself for salvation, well, then you're just wasting your time. And you gotta learn to love yourself, and I mean really love yourself - not just that tolerate crap, before you can even start to think about sharing that love with others.” Rubbing at her hind legs with her forehooves, Sakura rocked forward on her rump. “It’s a long journey you know, to being a better pony, and it’s one you’ve got to want to take. And it’s true, the first step’s the hardest, but the next few, they’re pretty hard too. And the ones after that? Well, I ain’t gunna lie to ya, kid.” Sucking in sharply between her teeth, the guardsmare shuffled forward and hopped off of the bed. “But,” she said, pops and clicks coming from her joints as she stretched out her limbs. “I'll make you an offer. It’s a one time thing, so think carefully before you answer.” Lyra nodded, the older mare had her full attention. “My cousin’s kid’s staying with me at the moment, training to be a confectioner at some fancy-flanked place up in the heart of the city.” Sakura levitated her helmet onto her head as she finished her stretches. “Come new year she’ll be headin’ home for a few months and I want you to go with her, spend some time away from here. Bonnie's mom owes me a favour so she'll put you up. Oh, Cherry Drops will complain about it, she always does, but she’ll take you in all the same. You'll like it there, it’s a sleepy little earth pony town out by the Everfree.” Making her way towards the open cell door, the guard glanced back over her shoulder. “It’ll be perfect for you, nothing ever happens there.” Reaching the door, she stopped. “By the way, kid, it’s past midnight, it’s tomorrow already,” she nodded to the clock above the corridor’s sole window. “So, happy birthday, Lyra, you’re seventeen now. Consider today a new start, a chance to say goodbye to the old you and move on as somepony new... a new and better you. A new life’s there for the taking.” And with that she walked out of the door, her voice echoing down the hall as she walked away. “But only if you want it.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ November AC1223 The sudden crunching sound from behind her of a small piece of stone or errant gravel being caught under a shoe brought Lyra out of her reminiscence. Twisting to look behind herself she found her stallion standing there, his arms folded against his chest, hands rubbing against his biceps to warm them up under his thin cotton shirt. Motioning to the space next to her, she bid him to sit with her. Needing no second invitation the human sat beside her, his legs dangling, as hers already did, over the edge of the roof towards the balcony below. For a few minutes that sat in silence, just watching the world go by on the streets far beneath them. “Penny for them?” the human finally asked. “What?” Lyra asked, the strange question leaving her puzzled, a situation she didn’t often find herself in. “It’s an old human phrase, I seem to remember you offered me something similar once.” Lero explained “You were miles away in your thoughts, so I'm offering you a little piece of currency that you might share them. I think it's the same as your phrase in that it’s a way of letting people know that we want to help, that we think someone’s worth us giving them something of our ours if it might help them, even if it’s just time and an ear. Or, at least I think that’s what it means. It’s been a while since I could go google this kind of stuff.” “Oh.” Lyra nodded “It’s just some old memories, I don't think I could ever give these a price.” The unicorn passed to her herdmate a single piece of paper that she had been holding onto, gripping it in the breeze as if her life as depended on it. Lero read what it had to say, noting the that the headed paper displayed an address for a hospital in Fillydelphia, the City of Sisterly Love. “It’s from an old friend of mine.” Lyra pressed her forehooves together, watching the fur around her ankles shift back and forth with the wind. “My very first sensei actually. You might remember her from the wedding. She’s... ill. Very ill. She asked if I'd go see her.” “Are you going to go?” Lero asked, looking up from the letter, catching the expression of worry on his wife’s face. An expression the mint green unicorn had hardly ever worn in all the time he’d known her. “Of course. I owe her a lot. Some might say I owe her my life. She knows that if she ever needs me then I’ll be there.” Reaching over, Lero wrapped his fingers around one of Lyra’s ankles, squeezing gently so she could feel the warmth of his fingers through her fur. “Would you like me to come with you?” he asked. Moving her other forehoof, Lyra gently placed it over the human’s hand. “Yes, I’d like that,” she said “I’d like that a lot. Thank you.” Removing her forehoof, she used it to slowly rub at her belly, the gentle swelling of her pregnancy just starting to show. “Besides, I've got somepony I’d like her to meet.”