"Are you out of your god damned mind? " Sam bellowed from the kitchen of his small house, located on the outskirts of Ponyville.
"Sam, please... " Luna sighed from the couch, not liking the idea herself.
"Wait, hold on, is your sister out of her god damned mind? " Sam emerged from the kitchen, his imposing figure twisting to the side a little so he could pass through, with a glass of orange juice for his friend, the Princess of the Night herself. He handed her the drink and slumped on the couch rubbing his eyes in frustration.
"She feels this is the best solution- "
"I will not be part of some social experiment that your sister cooked up. " Sam ran his hand through his shoulder length blonde hair before returning it over his face "Why didn't she come personally? "
"Tia believed I'd have a better time of convincing you to agree. " Luna drank from her glass and set it on the table. She then sat cross-legged on the couch and looked at Sam "Sam, you know I wouldn't ask you to do this if there was another way. My sister and I already owe you so much but trust me, you are the only one who can do this. "
"You do realize I have a marefriend, right? " Sam groaned, hoping this tidbit of information would get him off the hook.
"Yes. What's your point? " Luna tilted her head in confusion.
"What's she going to think? Me living with another mare under the same roof? An evil queen no less? "
"Oh, that. " Luna simply waved him off "Fluttershy has already been informed of the situation and she completely agrees. " Sam felt a headache coming on.
"Of course she does. Shy is too kind for her own good. " he then smiled a little "Don't know what I did to deserve her. " Luna smiled as well.
"She is not the Element of kindness for nothing. And like I said, things are way different here than back where your come from. " Luna scratched her cheek in thought "Not that we know where that is. "
"And let's leave it like that. " Sam added quickly.
"Anyway, herds are very common in Equestria and- "
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You didn't say anything about a herd! " Sam jumped up from the couch and pointed an accusing finger at Luna "You said I'd have to help reform her and that's that! " Luna rolled her eyes.
"What I was trying to say is that Fluttershy won't be bothered by you living in the same house with another mare. In fact- " the sound of knocking on the door was too perfectly timed "-she's here already. "
"Oh come on! " Sam marched to the door, opening it to see Fluttershy with a travel bag and a green dress clinging tightly to her voluptuous frame "Hey Shy. Got something to tell me? " he asked with a smile before scooping up his marefriend in a hug, getting a surprised yelp in response. Before the mare could speak, Sam sealed her lips with a kiss, leaving the pegasus with tinted cheeks.
"Morning honey. Umm, yes. I'll be living with you from now on. " Fluttershy said timidly "If that's okay with you... " Sam smiled widely.
"Of course it's okay! Just you and me. Under the same roof. " he then glared at Luna "Alone. "
"Umm... " he looked back at his marefriend "There'll be somepony else joining us. "
"Of for the- How can you be okay with this? " Sam threw his arms up and Fluttershy smiled gently.
"I believe everypony deserves a second chance. " Fluttershy grabbed her luggage and walked right past him towards the couch where she made herself comfortable "We'd be doing a great service to Equestria you know. "
"This is Umbra we're talking about! " Sam groaned in frustration before slumping on the couch, right between Luna and Fluttershy. The yellow pegasus began rubbing his shoulder in comfort and from the corner of her eye noticed Luna was about to do the same but retracted her hand at the last moment. She smiled gently at the princess who merely averted her gaze.
"I know honey, I know. " she cooed gently "But look at the bright side. We'll be spending a lot more time together. " Sam's eyes snapped open, slowly turning towards his marefriend.
"Proceed. "
"We could cuddle more often. Have breakfast and dinner together. Be together. " she wiggled her brows suggestively to which Luna blushed lightly "You could read to me by the fireplace, under the blankets while I... " Luna didn't hear the last bit since it was barely a whisper but by Sam's reaction she had a pretty good idea what it was.
"Very tempting... " Sam said in thought, stroking his beard that was tied into a braid about six inches in length.
"I know. " Fluttershy giggled and snuggled up to her coltfriend "It's for the greater good. "
"And you will be payed handsomely for your services. " Luna added and Sam mulled it over. Have Umbra living under the same roof to reform her, while getting paid well and Fluttershy moves in as well.
"You do know she's dangerous, right? " Sam asked and Luna rolled her eyes.
"Of course we do. That's why we placed an enchanted ring o her horn to prevent the use of magic. " before Sam could interrupt she continued "It's heavily enchanted and can only be removed by you and it has to be done willingly. "
"Where will she sleep? " Sam asked and Luna's horn glowed, followed by thuds and cracks.
"Accommodations have been made. " she answered smugly and Sam rolled his eyes.
"Alright. Fine. " Sam rose from the couch and looked at the two mares on his couch "Let's call this a trial period and see how it goes. When will she be here? " another well timed knock echoed from the door "Seriously? " he groaned while Luna and Fluttershy giggled. Sam opened the door and there she was. Queen Umbra, mistress of evil, looking like she'd rather be in Tartarus than here. She also had a luggage bag with her and a very terrified guard as her escort.
"G-g-good morning sir! " the guard saluted "I-I present- "
"Go away already, you stammering buffoon! " Umbra snapped at the guard who jumped back in fright "Your presence is no longer required! " the guard didn't need to be told twice and made a bee-line back to Ponyville. Umbra then examined her new roommate with a critical gaze "Pathetic. " she shook her head and walked inside like she owned the place "I am Queen Umbra, the true ruler of the Crystal Empire and you will reffer to me as such! " Sam looked at her with wide eyes "I expect dinner to be served at 7pm sharp and breakfast at 8am sharp. " she began listing off on her fingers "I take my baths with scented oils from the Crystal Empire. My sheets are to be of the finest silk, though I doubt you can afford them- " she said with another glare "-but alas, I decided to play Celestia's little game so sacrifices have to be made. " Sam looked at Luna who observed the situation with mild interest, while Fluttershy tried to suppress her giggles at Sam's bewildered expression "By the end of this little experiment I expect you to give Celestia a report with flying colors, otherwise I shall bring my eternal wrath upon you! " she declared with a snarl, convinced her threat was well heard.
"Honey, you're not even in my top five. " Sam then slammed the door shut, leaving her luggage outside.
"Hey! " Umbra grabbed him by the collar and got in his face, her fangs dangerously close "You will not disrespect me, you worm! " then to her shock, Sam simply grabbed the arm she was holding him with and removed it from his collar. Even without her magic, Umbra was physically very strong but Sam made her strength seem like nothing. Just what in Tartarus was he.
"Like I said, not even top five. " Sam walked past her and back to the couch "Your room is- " he looked to Luna for help.
"Second on the right. "
"Second on the right. " Sam nodded and pointed with his thumb "I'll give you a day to get comfortable, starting tomorrow we have work to do. " Umbra scoffed.
"You don't actually expect me to work. Me? A queen? " she crossed her arms under her admittedly large chest.
"Everyone has to earn their keep. " Sam said calmly and felt a murderous aura come from the former queen.
"Why you- "
"Umbra, manners. " Luna warned with a stern glare, making Umbra snarl in anger "Introductions can be rough and I suggest you thank Sam and Fluttershy for taking the time out their busy schedule to help you. " Umbra continued snarling "Umbra... "
"Thank you for your hospitality. " she snarled through gritted teeth, almost tore off the door and grabbed her luggage. Stomping her hooves on the wooden floor she walked past the couch and gave Fluttershy a death glare "What are you looking at? " the timid pegasus, to her credit, merely hid behind her mane and said nothing "That's what I thought. " Umbra then continued her stomping towards her room and slammed the door shut behind her.
"That went well I'd say. " Luna said with a smirk.
"She can stay in there forever. " Sam rubbed his temples, a migraine in full swing.
"I'm sure it'll be fine honey. " Fluttershy pecked his cheek "I have to go but I'll be back soon. I still have to show Angel a few things around the cottage. And be nice to our guest. " after a quick kiss, Fluttershy waved goodbye and was off to her cottage.
"Things could be worse I guess. " Sam concluded and was followed with a nod by Luna.
"You have got to be kidding me. " the rest of the previous day went by pretty uneventfully. Umbra stayed in her room, though Sam did hear her sneaking into the kitchen late at night for dinner. He and Fluttershy abstained from their nightly activities for the sake of their new guest and quickly fell asleep in eachothers arms. And now it's a new day and there is Princess Luna, her ears flat on her head in shame, with an annoyed looking Chrysalis at her side.
"Sam. I am so, so, so, so- "
"Double the wage. Full access to the Canterlot library's forbidden section. " he said in monotone and looked at Chrysalis "Don't expect royal treatment, queen. "
"So I've heard. " Chrysalis snarled and marched into the house, leaving her luggage outside. Luna encased the luggage in her magic and gently floated it inside.
"-so, so, so, so- "
"Yeah, yeah I get it. It's not your fault. " Sam rubbed her shoulder in comfort and Luna calmed down "I assume her room will- " a flash and a creak followed "Yeah, that. "
"YOU! " both Umbra and Chrysalis could be heard from the hallway that lead to their respective rooms.
"I'll get the bucket. " Sam went to the kitchen to grab said item and hopefully prevent damage to his house.
It was dinner time at Canterlot castle and Luna and Celestia were enjoying the time they could spend together. Their duties often kept them apart so they cherished every moment together.
"So, how did Sam take to his new position? " Celestia asked before taking a bite of chocolate cake.
"As well as we expected. He's not thrilled but he'll give it a chance. " Luna answered, a strawberry muffin in her hand.
"And you? "
"What about me? " Luna raised a curious brow.
"Lulu, it's obvious you have feelings for him. And now he's living with three mares under one roof. " the younger alicorn didn't respond "Fluttershy is a wonderful mare and I understand you don't want to make them uncomfortable but burying your feelings is not healthy. " Luna remained quiet "His species is monogamous but I'm sure he'll accept your feelings. I dare say you two are best friends. Why not take that friendship further? "
"I assure you, dear sister, my feelings are purely of the friendship kind. " Luna huffed and returned to her muffin, though a blush was betraying her. Celestia looked at her sister when a smug smile spread across her lips.
"Is that so? Well, then I guess you don't mind If I make a move on him, do you? " a muffin barely missing her head splattered behind her. Celestia looked at her younger sister, a frown ethced on her brows.
"Don't you dare. " Luna said in a low, threatening tone.
"I see. " Celestia put down the slice of cake she was eating and rose to her hooves "You leave me no choice. " she pointed an accusing finger towards her sister "Princess Luna of Equestria! For your crimes as Nightmare Moon, and trying to hit me with a muffin, the most heinous crime of all, I hereby sentence you to the Villain Reformation Program! "
"But- "
"You will gather your belongings and leave at once for Sam's home! " once she mentioned Sam, Luna realized what her sister was doing and broke out in a huge smile "You shall stay there until you have learned the meaning of friendship, harmony, love and-HMPF! " before she could finish, Luna wrapped Celestia in a tight hug that left the Sun alicorn short of breath.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you! " Luna then suddenly let go and cleared her throat "I mean, I shall take my punishment with honor and dignity. " Luna said with determination, trying very hard to keep her smile from spreading.
"Leave my sight, sister! " Celestia feigned disgust before leaning in closer "And make sure to pack that lovely night gown I got you. " two thumbs up was Luna's answer.
Fluttershy reacted to Chrysalis living with them pretty much the same way she did with Umbra. Sam managed to keep the damage caused by Umbra's and Chrysalis's fight to a minimum and the two former queens retreated to their chambers. They didn't come out until next morning and for one reason only. Coffee.
"You're worse than animals. " Umbra said with heavy bags under her eyes.
"It was too much, even for me. " Chrysalis added, a burp escaping her.
"I'm sorry... " Fluttershy hid behind her mane, alongside her furious blush, and Sam merely shrugged as he poured coffee around the table.
The two former queens didn't get any sleep last night since Sam decided to vent out his frustrations on Fluttershy, which she happily accepted, and couldn't care less if they heard them. They were at it for hours and the walls weren't very thick.
"You're sorry? You were at it for hours! Hours! Who in Tartarus can do that? " Umbra groaned and downed her coffee in one quick gulp, waggling her mug for more "There's some foul magic at work, I'm sure of it. Nopony can last that long without magic! "
"I'm not a pony, remember. " Sam poured her another mug.
"Trust me, it was all him. " Chrysalis really wanted to drink that coffee but felt like she would explode "I felt their emotions, there was nothing mixed in. "
"Um, we'll keep it down from now on. " Futtershy said timidly and returned to her own mug which contained tea instead of coffee "Sam is a little upset about this situation so I helped him, umm, relax. "
"I don't know how you can walk straight. " Chrysalis's comment made Fluttershy giggle.
"Pitiful. Falling victim to such primal urges. " Umbra said in disgust "I'll be damned if I ever stoop so low. "
"Aren't you a ray of sun- " Sam was interrupted by a knock on the door "Seriously? Again? " he stormed towards the door and the three mares peeked curiously to see who it was "I swear, if this is Tirek applying for a butler position I will- " Sam swung the door open and saw Luna, her ears flat, pouted lip and the destructive puppy-dog eyes of ponykind tearing away at his soul. There were two luggage bags behind her. They stared at each other for a moment before Luna spoke.
"I'm a bad pony. "