Best Princess Contest

by Pen Stroke

Competing Opinions

“Oh, Flurry, you’ve gotten so good at making your bear dance.”

Twilight couldn’t contain her smile, her cheeks starting to feel sore from all her grinning. Shining and Cadance were teaching a special lesson at the School of Friendship. That meant Twilight got to enjoy being the best aunt ever to her niece.

They were in the foyer of the Friendship Castle. Toys and sitting cushions were strewn about the floor. At the moment, Twilight was on one cushion and Flurry was another. In front of them was a pile of carefully stacked books covered with a sheet. It was simple, but it proved an excellent stage for what Twilight considered a riveting Teddy Bear Ballet. She was manipulating one bear, making it strike dancing poses and twirl in the air. Flurry was trying to do the same with a second bear, and though it was not as coordinated as Twilight’s, Flurry was showing marked improvement from her first attempt.

In the background of the dancing bears was the stuffed snail, Whammy. It was not dancing, but Flurry had placed the toy rather proudly onto the stage before they started the dance, and Twilight saw no reason to take it down.

It was at that moment, just as Twilight was making her bear do a pirouette, that the doors to the castle opened. Twilight only had to shift her focus slightly to see it was Cadance and Shining coming in.

“Hey, how did the lesson go?” Twilight asked.

“It went just fine,” Cadance replied. The sound of her voice drew Flurry’s attention. The tiny princess was soon out of her cushion, letting her bear flop to the stage as she flew over and hug-tackled Cadance’s neck. “Some of the students may have found it a little too lovey-dovey, but just about all of them asked questions once the lesson was over. So I think everyone was paying attention.”

“Ocellus seemed especially interested,” Shining added as he picked up a hoof and gently patted Flurry’s head.

“I imagine she would be since it’s a part of changeling history as well as Equestria’s.” Twilight began tidying up the toys, using her levitation to put things back in boxes, though remaining largely focused on the conversation.

Shining chuckled. “Though, the weirdest thing was when some of the students asked Cadance about… ooofff.”

Twilight glanced away from the toys she was putting away, looking at her brother. He had a hoof to his chest, and Cadance was forcing a very wide smile as she was gently settling Flurry onto her back. “What was the weird thing?” Twilight asked.

“It’s nothing, really. Nothing you should worry about,” Cadance said with a wave of her hoof.

Twilight paused from her tidying and took a few steps towards Cadance. “You know, I seem to remember you saying something exactly like that whenever you burned dinner while you were foalsitting me and had to quickly order pizza.”

“I never… okay, maybe I burned dinner once, but in my defense, I wasn’t used to how your family’s stove worked.”

“Cadance, what is it?” Twilight asked as she looked Cadance straight in the eye.

Cadance tried to resist the gaze but eventually relented with an audible sigh. “A few of your students asked me to sign their copies of this week’s Temporus Magazine. It was no big deal.”

“This week’s Temporus?” Twilight cocked her head for a moment. She knew of the Temporus. It was Equestria’s biggest weekly news magazine, tending to cover the biggest news stories from across the nation and the world. It drew attention to creatures doing noteworthy work. To be on the cover of Temporus was something of an achievement on its own. She had been on the cover for her coronation.

“I haven’t seen this week’s Temporus yet.” Twilight began charging magic in her horn. She saw Cadance open her mouth, perhaps attempting to say something, but Twilight teleported away before a word could be said. She went from her castle to the newsstand, and after exchanging a few bits with the stand owner, she popped back to the castle. She landed in the same spot she had left, glancing over the cover of the magazine she had just purchased.

Unlike most weeks, where a notable creature was easily identifiable on the cover, the cover of the magazine just had a big question mark on it along with crowns. Specifically, Twilight could recognize the four crowns of Equestria’s four princesses. The subtitle to the picture was rather straightforward. “Equestria has spoken. Who is now the best princess?”

Twilight heard Cadance and Shining saying something, but… her mind didn’t quite register those words. She was opening the magazine. Her eyes found the table of contents first, and after that, she was able to turn to the exact page of the article. She began to read, her eyes feverishly consuming the words on the page.

The article opened looking back at all the times Celestia had been on the cover since the magazine’s original publication. But then it pivoted into speaking how, in such a short time span, Equestria had been graced with one returning princess and two brand new ones. So the question was asked and a survey was taken across Equestria.

Who was the best princess now that Equestria had a quartet to choose from?

4th place… Princess Luna. She wasn’t in the public eye much, and while lots of ponies could claim she had helped them with her dreams, it was still a small percentage of the whole population of Equestria. Okay, Twilight could understand that.

3rd place… Twilight felt her stomach twist oddly as she saw her own name and picture. The notes of the article hit harder than they should have, but Twilight couldn’t keep herself from reading. A hero of the nation, that was good. An unproven ruler, that was true. Ponies wondering if she was focusing more on her school than on princessly duties? Her school was a princessly duty! Ponies obviously weren’t appreciating everything she had done and… suddenly she had a lot more perspective of how Luna must have felt a thousand years prior.

2nd place… Princess Celestia. Now this one truly baffled Twilight. The article spoke of Celestia’s many achievements. She was the ruler Equestria knew. The one that was beloved, but… the article quoted recent tabloid articles. That and it seemed Equestria still remembered Princess Celestia’s loss against Queen Chrysalis at the royal wedding. Equestria also remembered her desire to see Discord reformed had also given him the ability to betray them when Tirek escaped Tartarus. Yes, it all worked out at the end, but Equestria saw Celestia causing more problems than she was solving in recent memory.

Honorable Mention… Princess Flurry Heart. Okay, Twilight could tell the author was padding the article a little at this point, filing space and delaying the reveal, but they did pick an adorable picture of Flurry heart. Twilight would perhaps need to cut out that page of the article just for that picture.

Finally, 1st place… and Twilight finally managed to pry her eyes off the magazine and look up at Cadance.

“I… I mean it’s an honor that they chose me, but they are being so unfair to the rest of you,” Cadance said. “We honestly shouldn’t give it a lot of weight. They just ran a popularity poll. I’m sure there’s no science behind it.”

“Well, that’s obvious,” Twilight said, flipping back through the article and shaking her head at it. “I mean, this order just… doesn’t make sense.”

There was a moment of silence, one long enough for Twilight to notice. She looked up at Cadance and saw her sister-in-law’s reassuring smile appeared tighter. “I… sorry, I don’t mean to say you don’t deserve to win. You’ve done a lot of good things to help the Crystal Empire and it was you and Shining who defeated Chrysalis at the wedding. Though, I was the one that realized something was wrong and found you in the crystal caverns beneath Canterlot. They didn’t even mention that part.”

“So then what order do you think we should be in?” Cadance’s words were sharp. Twilight recognized it as a tone that Cadance used on previous occasions when their opinions on certain matters differed.

“Now, wait, let’s not—” Shining attempted to get between the two of them, but Twilight gently picked him up with levitation. She didn’t even have to do it all herself. Cadance had helped lift and place Shining off to one side. She then proceeded to give him Flurry Heart to hold.

There weren’t many that could match Twilight in some of her stranger formula, but Cadance was one of them. She could recall, one of the first times Cadance had foalsat her, the pair had spent time calculating her compatibility with Shining Armor. If she remembered correctly, the final result was a 97%-98% compatibility. Though where they applied such skills could differ vastly, there was a simple truth between the two of them.

They both had an abundance of skill in analytical analysis.

“Well… I’m just going off my hoof here, but I’d say, in descending order, Celestia, Luna, me, you,” Twilight said.

“You’d put me at the bottom!?”

“It’d be a close race. But you can’t ignore Princess Celestia’s centuries of successful rule in Equestria. Princess Luna has also made great strides since her return. It’s unfair to judge her solely on her popularity, as she’s resumed her duties as guardian of sleep. That and she was the one that managed to warn Starlight Glimmer about Queen Chrysalis’s second attempt at taking over the nation. After that, going solely by a count of how many times Equestria has been saved, that puts me ahead of you. You also can’t argue that some of your standing in the Temporus poll isn’t because of Flurry Heart. The cute foal factor is a strong influence.”

Cadance huffed once through her nostrils. “Well, I think being a successful ruler and a mother means I’ve quite earned my spot at the top of the list. But I do agree the Temporus list is still heavily flawed. It should, in descending order, be me, you, Luna, and Celestia.”

It was Twilight’s turn to gasp. “You’d put Celestia last!?”

“How much of what has recently happened to Equestria are problems you had to clean up because of how she chose to solve things in the past? Nightmare Moon, she banished and imprisoned instead of resolving. Discord, stone prison, and after he got free once, she asked your friend to help reform him. Chrysalis, Celestia defeated her once at the Siege of Trot only for her to come back to attack my wedding! Tirek falls into that same pattern.”

“Maybe the solutions were impermanent, but you can’t deny that Celestia’s solutions worked for centuries. And she did most of that on her own or with only Luna to help her.”

“Now, come on you two, is this really something worth arguing about?” Shining asked as he gently bounced Flurry, keeping her calm as things were getting heated. “You always tell me you need data to back up this sort of stuff. Everything you’re talking about happened in the past. You don’t really have any up to date information. So, you can’t really debate this, right?”

Twilight glanced at Shining, taking in his words before looking back at Cadance. “I suppose you make a good point. Trying to declare who is the best princess is a debate with far too many contributing factors, most of them historical. We clearly need a small, objective set of up-to-date data.”

Cadance nodded. “Yes… and, I’m reminded of one of the letters from you that Princess Celestia let me read. It was one of the first lessons you had with your friends Rainbow Dash and Applejack.”

“I know exactly which letter you are referring too,” Twilight said. “Now, we must remember that our friendship is far more important than any competition. But at the same time—”

“If we agree to play fair and be good sportsmares,” Cadance said, “then I think we can agree the swiftest solution to this matter is through some practical data gathering.”

Twilight nodded her head. “I concur. The only way to settle this is with extensive field testing and observation. You were planning to stay for the weekend. How about we have it Saturday morning? That only gives us a few days to arrange everything, but I’m sure we can manage.”

Cadance nodded. “If you’ll handle the logistics, I’ll be sure to get Luna and Celestia to agree.”

“And may the best princess win,” Twilight and Cadance said in unison.

“Oh boy, looks like Mommie and Auntie are both Twilighting,” Shining said as he continued to hold Flurry, who giggled and clapped her hooves together.

Though, unbeknownst to anyone else in the room, a shadow against a nearby window suddenly darted away, leaving behind only the sound of flapping wings.

“Good morning, Equestria, this is Baritone Broadcast. I’m proud to be one of your announcers today for this sudden and historic event. With me today, as my co-commentator, is the passionate hobbyist, Spike the Dragon. Spike, I recall you and Pinkie made a heck of a dynamic duo commentating for Ponyville’s Running of the Leaves a few years back.”

Spike smiled, knowing that it would help his voice sound exciting over the microphone that was placed in front of him. That and he couldn’t help but keep the grin off his face as he sat next to one of Equestria’s most famous sportscasters, an aged and dull, yellow-colored pegasus who had a voice that resonated, demanding attention even when he was speaking calmly. A pegasus with such annunciation that even in whipping winds and blistering blizzards, every word he spoke could be understood by all that heard it.

“That’s right, Baritone, and it’s an honor to be here with you,” Spike answered.

“The honor is all mine to work with the right claw of Equestria’s Princess of Friendship. And speaking of princesses, if you’re just arriving, allow me to reiterate for a final time the rather unprecedented event that is about to occur. I’m currently sitting in one of the most uplifting broadcast boxes I’ve ever had the pleasure of working in. I am floating above Ponyville now, via hot air balloon, looking down on the rolling, grassy hills of Ponyville’s outskirts. It is truly the most humble of stages for what is about to happen: the best princess competition between the four ruling alicorns of our nation. Spike, what can we expect from the event today?”

Spike leaned forward a little over the basket, looking down at the ground below where several temporary structures had been erected over the course of a few days. “Princess Twilight Sparkle reached out to her friends, as well as a few other creatures, to orchestrate a series of challenges over a wide variety of disciplines. Each of the four princesses will compete in each event and will be scored by the pony that planned the event. After all the events are completed, the princess with the most points will be declared the best princess of Equestria!”

“A truly unprecedented set of circumstances,” Baritone Broadcast narrated, “though I suppose friendly competition is one of the better ways the princesses could resolve their issues after the release of the Temporus Magazine article. I have been told that Temporus Magazine has made no statement yet about the article, but I can already see a few of their reporters down in the crowd, ready to try and capture the picture that will immortalize this event for years, if not decades, to come.”

“And they’re not the only ones,” Spike added. He took a moment to blow some fire up into the balloon and then used his claw to gesture to a few pegasi flying near their basket. The pegasi nodded and began pushing the basket to a different vantage point. “Despite the short notice announcement, ponies have been flocking to Ponyville since this time yesterday. And even more are still arriving, even with the competition due to begin within a few minutes.”

In the temporary sports stands, which had been rented and borrowed from every source that had them to spare, gaggles of ponies cheered and waved flags. The stands themselves had been assembled into a rough stadium shape, though some sections had to be oddly layered. Cloud seating had been brought in as well along with some unicorns casting cloud-walk charms. Altogether, it created layers of ponies eagerly cheering, even as more arrived by the minute.

And in the crowd, it was easy for Spike to see blobs of ponies who had taken to supporting their favored princess in true fashion. Merchants, who had flocked as well to Ponyville to chase the business, were making a killing selling princess branded jersey’s, flags, and other paraphernalia. This led to islands of white, blue, purple, and pink in the broiling sea of ponies where groups that supported a particular princess managed to gravitate together.

Like blobs of oil separating from water, the most fervent of fans separated into their favored groups out of the sea of other ponies that had arrived simply to see the competition.

“Truly, when it comes to Equestrians, there are two things that can get us to drop everything and herd to one location: a good musical number or an impromptu sporting competition. And I wouldn’t rule out the former happening today, even as we’re gathered by the latter. Still, please enjoy this brief word from our sponsors before this event kicks off at the top of the hour.”

Shining stood with Flurry hanging from his chest in a foal carrier as he stood on the field with Twilight and Cadance. He had been trying to pump the breaks on the competition for most of the previous meeting, but with the event about to start in a few minutes, he had given in and started going with the flow. Though, he was looking back at the crowd of ponies, just shaking his head a little.

“So, tell me again why this had to be such a big spectacle instead of just a quiet set of games between friends?”

Twilight was rolling her shoulders and gently flaring and unflaring the magic on her horn, a warm-up exercise Shining could recognize from back when they were young. “Because when Rainbow and Applejack had their Iron Pony competition, over the course of the day, half of Ponyville showed up to watch. Getting ahead of it means ponies can watch more comfortably and the logistics of the situation can run more smoothly.”

“That and making it a big public event was how I got Luna to agree.” Cadance was a few steps away, doing her own warm-ups, though she was focusing more on limbering up her body. She was striking poses, going through a routine to stretch herself out. “Since one of the reasons she was at the bottom of the Temporous Magazine poll was her lack of public appearances.”

Shining cast his gaze further away, to where Princess Luna and Princess Celestia were going through their preparations. Princess Luna seemed to be taking it the most seriously. She had forgone her royal regalia. She replaced it with a tracksuit and was doing quick hoofwork to warm up, like a boxer getting ready to go into the ring. Conversely, Princess Celestia was lounging, working on what looked like to be a bit of breakfast in a comfortable cushion. Shining saw she had removed her regalia as well, though she had chosen not to replace it with anything.

It was so strange to see those two princesses without their crowns.

“And the four of you know not to let this get too far, right?” Shining asked as he focused back on Cadance and Twilight.

Twilight finished her magic warm-ups and went to stretch out her wings. “It’s just six events themed after the Elements of Harmony and, by extension, the Pillars of Equestria. And before you ask, no, I did not help plan the one for the Element of Magic. I asked Starlight and Sunburst to fill in with me on that. So I don’t have any advantage.”

“Except for the fact you are the Princess of Friendship and are the most familiar with the Elements,” Cadance snipped.

“Hey, it was what we all agreed on. That and I didn’t hear anyone else coming up with any other concise and well thought out suggestions.”

“Just promise me that once this is done between you two, it’s done,” Shining said as he patted Flurry Heart’s head. “I don’t want there to be bad feelings after this.”

Cadance smiled, moving over to Shining and kissing his lips gently. “I know this seems all a bit much, but you know how Twilight and I get when we have a disagreement when it comes to conclusions drawn from data. We’re both smart ponies, and that means we can butt heads sometimes. But I promise, I won’t be angry at Twilight after this. Just remember to be cheering for me extra hard.”

Shining smiled, leaning forward to return Cadance’s kiss with one of his own. “All right, I’m going to go sit up in the royal box with my parents. We’ll let them root for Twilight while Flurry and I cheer for you. Good luck.”

“Thank you,” Cadance said, giving Shining a wink before some music began to fill the air. The opening ceremony was beginning. Cadance snuck one final kiss with Shining before she began trotting out into the grassy field that would be the grounds of the competition. Twilight, Celestia, and Luna were not far behind, all four princesses converging towards the center of the quickly assembled stadium, where Starlight Glimmer stood with the rest of Twilight's friends.

The competition was ready to begin.