Rainbow Dash grumbled as she threw her front door open. Her wings were aching from the flight back, since she’d missed the last train home; part of her wished she’d stayed at Canterlot, if only so Dread would follow through on his promise to send her home via catapult.
Tank was sitting lazily on Dash’s couch, smiling warmly at her as she entered. A trace of her irritation gone, Dash gave him a quick nuzzle before heading to her room. She threw herself on her bed with a grunt, unable to stop thinking about Dread.
It was so… frustrating. She’d watched him all day—she knew he hadn’t seen her, that was real surprise when he’d caught her under the table—yet he didn’t do anything… save for terrorizing Blueblood, but she was counting evil things. She watched as he ‘walked’ with Princess Luna, expressing interest in the statues, learning about Equestria…
The obvious answer was that he was biding his time for whatever he was planning…
The answer that seemed more and more likely was that he wasn’t planning anything.
Dash rolled onto her back with a sigh; the telltale whirring of Tank’s gyro-pack announced his approach. The tortoise flew into the room and, somewhat unsteadily, landed on her bed. Dash smiled and pulled him close; he laid his head over her stomach lovingly as she stroked him with a hoof.
Dash didn’t like to admit it, but Dread might’ve had a point; the Princesses could handle him, right? He seemed to think so… but then, if he was being honest about everything, he wasn’t just playing nice out of fear of having his butt handed to him.
Dash frowned, a thought crossing her mind; could that… thing, even feel fear?
- - - - -
I found that I’d overslept the following morning; the clock on my transmitter, which had been updated for local time, read 12:30. For a moment I was concerned that I’d kept Luna waiting, assuming she wanted to hang out again today, but quickly realized that she could wake me if she wanted to. In any case, I felt it would be a good day to head to the library to read up on history—my curiosity over what troubled Luna was getting to teeth-grinding levels of agitation. I left my room and headed towards where I believed the library to be. I did my best to look inconspicuous, but at the same time tried not to look like I was up to no good as I slithered down the halls. The guards, formerly wary and suspicious of my presence, had become relatively accustomed to me and maintained their thousand-yard stare as I passed.
For a while I was worried I wouldn’t be able to find the library; I had a general idea of where it was, but nothing specific. Before long, though, I was able to find it by following an unaware, bookish-looking unicorn carrying a bunch of tomes in her magic. When she couldn’t open the door, I helpfully approached and held it open for her. She opened her mouth and turned to me to say thanks, but froze when she took me in. I didn’t stick around for her reaction, but the lack of a scream was somewhat encouraging.
I approached the main desk yet kept my distance when I noticed the librarian, a pegasus, with his back to me. With a soft “Ahem,” I got him to turn around. He seemed much more confused than terrified at seeing me, but I still opted to avoid any sudden movements. “Hi, I’m just looking for any… major history books or the like?”
He raised an eyebrow but didn’t object. “Yes, of course… Follow me.” He came out from behind the desk and led me around the corner, towards a section of towering bookcases in the corner of the library. “I’ve heard about you,” he said. “You’re interested in our history, then?”
“Yeah,” I said. “There’ve been some… events that the Princesses referenced, and I figured they were tired of giving me a rundown on every one. It’s like asking someone to explain the humor behind every joke they tell, you know?”
The librarian nodded. “Understandable. Well, these should help you a fair deal, if you don’t mind doing some digging… We don’t have a lot of books that cover our history entirely, any major events are covered in their own texts.” I slithered to one of the bookcases and began scanning; I knew the year here was 1403 AD, so I had some point of reference.
“Thanks a lot,” I said to the librarian; he nodded politely and returned to the desk. I took a few books that seemed to cover a fair amount of the last thousand years and found a chair in the corner.
- - - - -
Five hours.
I sat there and read through seven foot-thick books for five hours. Even when I narrowed it down to a thousand years ago, there was still little to nothing that could help me learn what was troubling Luna. There were mentions of a ‘Mare in the Moon’, but they simply referenced books that the library didn’t seem to have.
Jesus H. Christ, this is HOPELESS… I thought, agitated. Asking Luna upfront about it was looking more and more like my only option...
“Dread?” I glanced up from the book on my ‘lap’; Luna was standing some distance away. “What’re you doing here?”
Well, here’s my chance… “Just wanted to check up on some history,” I said, finding solace in the fact that it wasn’t technically a lie.
Luna nodded; she seemed a little quiet at the moment. “You should come with me, Dread.”
I stood up. “Sure, but, uh… Can we… talk about something?”
Luna shook her head sadly. “There’s something we need to discuss first.”
I frowned. This can’t be good. I followed her down the line of bookshelves, giving the librarian a friendly wave of farewell as I went, and out of the library; as I passed the unicorn at the entrance, still stuck in a petrified look of dumbstruck horror, I snapped my claws in front of her, to no response. “...Maybe have someone get her outta here?” I asked. “Cause I give Discord five, maaaaybe ten minutes tops before he comes by with the magic markers.”
- - - - -
Luna led me to our dining room from the previous night; she didn’t say a word the entire way. I wanted to ask what was up, yet I had a feeling I’d find out soon enough. As we entered, Twilight and Celestia were already there; they were looking pretty tired, judging by the bags under their eyes. As they noticed me enter, though, their tone became one of sadness. “Dread?” Twilight said softly.
I had a hunch where this was going. Luna closed the doors behind us.
I stared at them, a faint, hollow feeling in my ‘heart’. “...I’m not going home, am I.”
“We looked, Dread…” Celestia said softly. “We tried every means we could find, but… There isn’t any spell that could bring you home. The residue from the tear is familiar to us, yes, but not in a way that we can shape it into a portal…”
“We asked Discord if he could help, as a last resort…” Twilight said. “But he couldn’t help, either; he says that his power lies only in this world, not any other. He doesn’t have any power in any other world, or in between.”
I heard what they were saying; I believed they’d tried. I believed that they truly felt there wasn’t a way home.
I told myself from the beginning just how unlikely it would be that I could return home, either by Equestria’s methods or the efforts of the DSR. I told myself that, while I didn’t need to lose hope, I should prepare to face the fairly likely possibility.
And yet it wasn’t enough.
Somehow, without realizing, I’d put all my chips on them getting me a way home; it was the only thing that kept me cheerful the last two days. And now that I knew for a fact I was stuck here, the full scale of my fate hit me square in the face.
All I could think of now was my family… How they’d take the news of my apparent death, how they’d find out that they didn’t even have a body to bury. How I’d never see my home, my friends, anything and everything I cared about…
All of it… gone.
My vision hazed dizzily, fading in and out in clarity; I felt myself swaying a little bit. “I… I…” I slowly turned and opened the doors.
“Dread…” Luna began, reaching out for me. I moved out of her reach and half walked, half stumbled, down the hall.
My common form was losing its shape; my arms and claws were melting into long, rounded stumps hanging from my torso. I only barely managed to keep myself in a stable form long enough to reach my room. I didn’t even open the doors, I just pushed myself through the cracks between them.
The room service was there, just finishing making my bed. She turned and yelped at the sight of me; I slowly moved to the far side of the room and gestured for her to leave, barely acknowledging her presence. She immediately bolted for the door, opening it and slamming it shut behind her as she fled. I reached over with a tendril and locked it, then closed the blinds, obscuring my view of the world outside.
There I was, standing alone in my room.
No, it wasn’t ‘my room’ the same way you’d call a hotel room ‘yours’; it was my actual room now. This was what I called home; Room Whatever It Was in Canterlot Castle, Equestria.
I began melting completely, turning into a puddle that covered a good portion of the floor. I felt like I wanted to vomit, to cry… But this form wouldn’t allow either--
This form. This goddamned form… It was because of this that I was landed here. It was this goddamned mass that got me thrown from my home, stranded me in a world of goddamned ponies!! It made me a freak, robbed me of a normal life, and when I tried to use it to improve the lives of others, what did I have to show for it?!
But I shared the blame; I was the one who said I should use it ‘for good’. I was the one who decided to become an MHA. I fucking knew what the risks were, but Jake was right; this form made me feel invincible, and because I was such an arrogant tool, I believed it. I didn’t think anything could hurt me, or kill me...
And now here I was; stranded, further away from home than anyone I’d ever know… A world where everyone either feared or hated me.
Not EVERYONE… Said a small part of my mind.
Luna. Pinkie. Applejack. Arguably Fluttershy, I thought bitterly. Yep, REALLY piling ‘em up. That’s four out of another, what, MILLION?
I lay on the floor as a quivering, inch-deep puddle of mass, wanting it all to stop, wanting to die… But I didn’t even know if this form could die, even if I doused myself in oil and lit myself aflame; I’d never been completely doused in flame before—I considered that too risky to find out for myself. Maybe it would work, but… I couldn’t see myself doing it, yet I couldn’t fathom why.
I felt my mind curl in on itself like a weeping child under the covers; I distanced myself from any outside stimuli as best I could, just wanting to feel nothing but a sweet, silent dark…
A knock drew me out of my stupor. “Dread?” Came Luna’s voice. “...Dread, please, talk to me…” She jiggled the handle in an attempt to enter.
I formed a head and called to the door. “Don’t… Just… I need this, Luna… Please, just leave me alone…” My voice was soft, quavering, yet there was none of that roughness of throat, none of the telltale signs that I was weeping.
I’d never wanted to cry so bad in my life.
Luna didn’t respond; after a few moments, I could hear hoofsteps moving away from the door.
I shouldn’t shut her out… I thought as I let myself melt again. Maybe some companionship is what I need…
I felt my mind slipping into darkness again. I’ll talk to her, I thought. I just need some time…
I’d only been awake for a few hours, but, somehow, I slowly fell asleep, partially hoping this was a Nightmare of my own…
- - - - -
Luna stared at the outside of the Guest Quarters from her balcony. She and Tia had just finished their evening duties, raising the Moon and setting the Sun, yet once again the stiffness of their performance revealed their troubled hearts.
Luna had known a deal of grief in her time… Mainly when she was banished, when a part of her realized what she’d done to herself, her subjects and her beloved sister. In the first days of her exile, she’d wept openly, her anguish somehow piercing the bitterness and hatred that drove her to commit those crimes… After some time her fury took hold once again, but her pain never faded.
Now she felt that grief again, but not for herself.
Tia stood beside her, sensing her sister’s sorrow. “He’s clearly in pain…” she said.
Luna nodded. “He spoke dearly of his family… His mother and father, his brother… They meant a great deal to him.”
“He said that he’d learn to accept the possibility that he may not return home,” Celestia said.
“A feat much easier said than done, dear sister,” Luna said. “It is difficult not to grasp on the one hope you have, and when that hope fades, you’re left tumbling into the darkness you weren’t ready to face.” She turned to her sister. “...Do you still think he should be watched?”
Tia sighed. “Only for now… Until I’m sure, beyond a reasonable doubt, that he means well. I’ve known some very patient souls, Luna… Individuals with dark motivations that they will wait a very long time to see through.”
“But your distrust comes from what he can do…” Luna said. “But, while he’s… skilled at what he does, he hasn’t shown intent to use it after he learned that we aren’t enemies.”
“You may be right, dear sister,” Tia said agreeably. “But do not ask me to openly trust someone who controls a darkness that enslaved thousands, centuries ago.”
Luna remained silent for a moment, considering Tia’s words. Finally, she nodded. “Very well… Allow him to earn your trust. But distrusting him doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t help him through what he faces now.”
Tia gave Luna a brief nuzzle. “Perhaps. I’m turning in for the night; Twilight will return to Ponyville on the first train, tomorrow.”
Luna smiled warmly as Tia withdrew into the tower. “Dream well, dear sister.”
Luna gazed up at the stars and began to shape them, same as any other night; the pain she felt for Dread, however, kept her from forming a beautiful night sky, simply not having the proper mindset. She kept glancing at the Guest Quarters, wishing to simply be there for him… To be the friend he so clearly needed.
The night passed on. Ponies across the land began drifting to sleep; Luna could feel their dreams taking shape in the air. Feeling that watching over dreams would act as a suitable distraction, Luna loosed her consciousness and let it spread over the land. For tonight, any nightmares were few and far between, and even then they were easily sorted out—spontaneous dreams of some incomprehensible horror that were easily dispelled, replaced with dreams of peace, joy and love.
Yet, when the dreams were clear, Luna found one that wasn’t so happy… She found one full of pain, longing and… mourning? She traced it back to Canterlot, in the…
Her heart sank; that distraction didn’t last very long. She could feel Dread’s dream, a somber, gloomy affair that made her heart ache just noticing it.
A dream like that may leave him with even DEEPER anguish… She thought, drifting towards the dream. ...Maybe, just maybe… I can… help him see that he doesn’t need to be alone? Just make an appearance, help prove to him that he doesn’t have to give in to his woes…
She nodded in determination. Yes. He needs this.
She entered his dream.
She found herself in what was obviously a house; it looked very similar to the more humble homes she’d seen, yet the walls were lined with the occasional strange device… A large black box tucked in the corner of what looked to be the den, with one side covered in glass; lights that hung in the ceiling, glowing despite not having a flame; small, rectangular panels built near the floor, with six holes each, some with cords plugged into them.
She looked from the den into what appeared to be a dining room; sitting around it were four… humans, that’s what Dread had called them, eating dinner and chatting happily. Three of them appeared to be male, given their deep voices and heavier builds, the fourth was female.
Somehow, Luna’s gaze fell on one of the males; one that appeared to have recently reached adulthood, with a short head of brown hair and a plain face. She could feel a sense of happiness from him, unlike his three companions; they seemed to be built of Dread’s mind.
...They’re his family… Luna realized; she glanced at the human again. ...Dread?
The world around them suddenly began to darken, though the human Dread and Luna seemed to be the only ones to notice. The chair beneath Dread vanished, yet he stood up as though expecting it. Soon, the humans and Luna were alone in complete darkness, yet could still see as though it was well lit.
The three humans, sitting at the table, still smiling lovingly at Dread, began drifting away into the darkness. Dread reached out to them, his face twisting in pain. “Please!” He called. “Please, don’t go…”
They fell out of sight, never losing their happy, loving gaze. Dread fell to his knees, a sob escaping him. “Don’t leave me…”
Luna gazed at him sadly before taking a firm breath. Now. She approached Dread, reached out with a hoof and laid it on his shoulder.
He looked up at her, surprised; he looked confused for a moment before his eyes widened in recognition. “...Luna? Why’re you…”
Some unseen force between them knocked the pair away from each other, bodily landing some distance away. The darkness around them seemed to coalesce around Luna; she felt her mind being seized by some external force before she blacked out.
- - - - -
What the hell was that?!
My mind was spinning—almost literally—as I fell through darkness, trying desperately to make sense of what I’d seen…
I was with my family… I recounted. They… vanished, then… then Luna was there… That’s it. But why did--
The darkness suddenly vanished; I was floating a few feet in the air in an older-looking, less stylized castle than the one in Canterlot. It was a long hall, with a pair of thrones at one end, sitting upon a raised platform with a podium at the edge. One throne had a banner of a Sun over it, the other had one of the Moon. Luna was standing in front of her matching throne, glaring bitterly down the aisle; I followed her gaze and noticed Celestia, standing at the double doors, a look of grim determination in her eyes. Standing behind her were Twilight and her friends; Twilight was wearing what looked like a golden tiara with a purple, star-shaped gem embedded in it, while the others wore golden necklaces, embedded with gems of differing shapes and colors.
What is this…? I thought, aghast and confused.
I glanced back at Luna, who scowled with a hatred I never expected of her. “There can only be one Princess in Equestria!!” She yelled, approaching the podium. “And that Princess… will be me!!” She reared up, then crashed her front hooves upon the podium, shattering it. A crack snaked up the wall between the thrones behind her, arcing and stretching into the stained glass window above them. The window exploded, giving a view of the Sun outside; Luna took to the air, raising her forelegs as though she were summoning an angry god.
She may as well have been, given the way the Moon rose and eclipsed the Sun; several rays of pure, unhindered darkness poured from the edges of the moon and surrounded Luna, causing a cloud of black dust to rise from the floor surrounding her. She levitated higher into the air, eyes widening as the darkness fully enveloped her and formed into a thick sphere, spinning with growing speed. The sphere began to glow like a sun, a loud hum emanating as the air rushed about the room; Celestia and the ponies tensed as the sphere blackened, then burst.
A pony I knew to be Luna, yet somehow also… not, floated where the sphere had been; she was another ‘alicorn’, yet her shape was more slender, her coat was a pure black, and her turquoise eyes looked similar to that of a dragon, with thin, slit-like pupils. She was wearing a light purple set of armor with matching helmet that only made her connection to Luna more strenuous. Her mane looked the same, a floating view of a night sky, yet it somehow seemed more… oppressive.
The pony who was, and yet wasn’t, Luna, began to laugh… A cruel, uncontrolled laugh that rang throughout the hall; she threw her head back and cackled at the skies…
But I noticed something; in her eyes, there was no cruelty, no triumph… There was only terror, horror…
Celestia charged forward, horn alite. Luna stopped laughing and scowled furiously, dropping into a defensive stance. Celestia fired a volley of yellow blasts at her, but Luna simply threw her mane in front of her; the mane completely absorbed the blasts, having as much impact as tossing stones into a river. Luna swung her head and whipped her mane again; the blasts flew out of her mane and directly at a surprised Celestia.
Every last blast hit Celestia dead on; with a scream she was sent flying backwards, slamming into the wall above the doors. The Bearers gasped in shock before turning on Luna, furious. The crown on Twilight’s head began to glow, as did the jewelry worn by her friends. The group began to float in midair, a stream of rainbow energy flowing from each gem and forming a line between them; a hum rang from the pieces, rising in pitch and volume.
I glanced at Luna, who was walking down the aisle towards them, a grim look in her eyes.
She smiled.
In one moment, her horn became enveloped in a dark purple aura.
In another, a large beam of the same color flew from her horn, about five feet wide, and slammed into the ponies.
The beam dissipated; the ponies were laying on the ground, scarred, wounded and beaten, their jewelry—the Elements—burnt out, shattered and useless. Celestia weakly lifted her head to look at Luna, her breathing quivering and pained. “L-Luna, please…”
Luna glared at her sister before stamping a hoof, hard, on Celestia’s head, pinning it to the floor and evoking a cry of pain. “I… am Nightmare Moon!” Luna yelled. She gazed upwards. “And if my night won’t be welcomed, enjoyed, loved, as your precious day is… Then this world will mourn the loss of the Sun it so clearly adores!! The night shall last… FOREVER!!” She began to cackle again; a small, almost demonic distortion found its way into her voice as she laughed, a sign of her further descent into… whatever this was.
Yet, once again, her true feelings were clearly evident; tears welled in her eyes. Tears of horror, of pain, of sorrow…
Luna damn well knew what she was doing, and clearly wanted to stop, but somehow couldn’t. All she could do was watch as she committed these atrocities… Hoping this was a--
...No.
No, it couldn’t be.
No, no, I was asleep!! There was no way I’d be able to do this to her!!
...Wasn’t there?
I ran over what I’d seen before; my family, then them fading into darkness, then… Luna.
I was dreaming. We both were. But how would she get into my dream? Could she do that? If she could, did she… trip something?
I had to end it. I had to get us out. Feeling like a moron for not acting sooner, I called out. “Luna!! LUNA!!”
Luna’s laugh didn’t stop, but her eyes flexed slightly; she could definitely hear me. “Luna, this isn’t you!!” I roared. “This isn’t real!! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!!”
Luna didn’t stop laughing; the castle around us began to crack, sunder and crumble, torn apart by a maelstrom of shadow outside, much like the one that had transformed Luna. The twisting storm lifted the Bearers and tossed them violently into the black, swirling abyss.
I have to stop this… I thought, glancing around. It’s a dream, for both of us… What if I wake up? CAN I?
I strained, feeling like I was trying to force my brain out of my skull. I ‘pulled back’ as hard as I could, trying desperately to pull myself out and praying it would do the same for Luna.
I felt something give in the back of my mind; the dream fluctuated. I stayed the course and forced myself further, yelling with the effort.
Finally, with one last push, I felt myself break free.
Then, with a deafening crack, everything went dark.
- - - - -
With a jolt I awoke, struggling to regain my sense of awareness. My mind felt like the fortune-telling die in a magic 8 ball, jostling around my mass, trying desperately to regain its senses.
A single, piercing scream in the night cut through my disorientation; the scream of someone being torn from their own personal hell. I regained my form and threw myself at the door. “LUNA!!”