Look at me standing here on my own again (up straight in the sunshine).
Chapter published 14th June 2013
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July 1225 AC
Slumped across her sleeping father's chest, Sweet Spirit dozed fitfully. Every few minutes the young foal would twitch, her short tail swishing in agitation or her tiny legs kicking out as if fleeing an unseen threat.
She had always been a sensitive child but for the last few weeks she had been especially on edge, unable to sleep for any length of time anywhere but within arm’s reach of one of her parents.
Occasionally a more sudden or vigorous of her sub-unconscious movements would wake her sire from his equally fretful slumber, his large warm hands soon stroking her fiery mane while his soothing voice lulled her back into the land of dreams.
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Fields. There were fields of gold spread before her as far as she could see. Not that that was very far. She was only a little pony after all though daddy said she'd definitely be a big pony someday. Maybe even as big as Auntie Woona.
All around her were plants, tall thin golden plants much taller than she was and with bobbly bits on top. One of Auntie Applejack’s friends grew these plants in fields way way way outside of town. Sweetie had seen them before from that train thing as they went past the window.
Wheat! Auntie called them wheat.
Looking about she couldn't see daddy anywhere. Or mommy. Or any of her other mommies!
Desperately Sweetie span around on the spot, trying to catch sight of anyone she knew. Maybe one of her Aunties or Uncles. Uncle Mac - he was the biggest pony she’d ever seen in the fields outside Ponyville. Surely she’d be able to see him if she hopped up and down.
There was a scarecow over there, maybe she could climb it? She was really good at climbing and Mommy Twilight wasn’t here to tell her to stop it or to get down.
Yes, she’d climb the scarecrow and have a look for someone she knew. It wasn’t that she was scared, ‘cos she wasn’t scared. Whenever she’d end up somewhere she didn’t know all on her own Auntie Woona would soon arrive and then she wouldn’t be alone any more. If she was really lucky then sometimes they’d have adventures before Auntie would take her home and then she’d find herself in her bed and mommy would be there.
Standing at the base of the scarecrow, she hoped Woona would come soon. No sign of her yet, but she’d come soon, she always did.
Then from beyond the wall of wheat the young child could hear singing. It wasn’t the music of harmony though as she could hear it in her ears but not in her head. This was more like when mommy or daddy sang for her all those times she couldn’t sleep. It was a nice voice and it sounded a bit like mommy but it wasn’t mommy.
“When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, What will I be?”
Quickly she scrambled her way up the scarecrow, hoping that from all the way up there she could find out who was singing.
Not far away she could see a tall strange creature, nearly as big as daddy, standing upright on two legs like he did. It was... was it dancing? It was spinning around, its hands stretched out, letting the tops of the wheat rub against its palms.
“Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me.”
Squinting against the bright sunlight Sweetie could see that it was smiling, a huge grin across its face. It was very much like daddy, perhaps it was a hooman like him? Maybe it knew him? It certainly had a nice smile, perhaps it was nice and it would help her find Auntie Woona?
Dropping down from her perch, Sweetie scampered through the crops in the direction where the hooman should be.
Breaking through the plants she found herself in a small area where the crops had been flattened into a small circle by the big thing’s dancing.
Looking up she could see she was right. It was just like daddy so it must be a hooman!
“Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see.”
But daddy didn’t have a tail and this hooman had a tail. The creature had its back to the tiny foal and as it moved the filly could see a long red and orange tail that almost came down to the floor which swished with the large thing’s swaying movements. Sweetie hoped her stubby little tail would look like that when she was a big pony.
Daddy didn’t have hooves either, he had feet. But this creature had hooves... big pony hooves. And it had cream coloured fur on its legs where daddy just had pink skin with these funny little bits of hair on them.
The furry legs went up to a pair of brown shorts like daddy wore but much smaller. Above them was furless skin like his though it was the same colour as the fur on its legs. Swaying against the big thing’s back was a huge flowing mane the same colour as its tail. No, hair. It was just called hair when hoomans had it on their heads ‘cos it didn’t attach to their necks like it did for ponies.
“Que sera, sera, what will be, will be.”
The big thing slowly turned around, its arm still outstretched. Sweetie could see that above her shorts she had one of those funny belly bubbins like daddy and then a small tight tshirt thingy like Mommy Rainbow liked to wear whenever Mommy Twilight had been playing with her magic and made Mommy Rainbow into a hooman.
The tight top made it easy to see that the big thing had those funny lumps on its chest like hooman Mommy Rainbow so it must be a girl.
Sweetie was very pleased at her use of logic. Plus she found it easier to deal with girls. Boys were hard to understand and some of them were yucky.
The big girl had her eyes closed as she sang so she hadn’t seen Sweetie yet. Looking up the filly could see that the hooman was pretty. Not that she had much to go on as she’d only seen a few but she still felt that this one was pretty. She wasn’t pink like the ones she’d seen though. Her skin was the same colour all over as her furry legs were.
As the wind caught the girl’s mane... hair, making the gold strands between the red and orange look like fire, Sweetie could see that her ears were all pointy like her mommies’ and not rounded like daddy’s.
Maybe Sweetie should say hello? But she was enjoying the song, it sounded very nice.
“When I grew up and fell in love.”
Suddenly the hooman opened its eyes and looked down, catching sight of the foal for the first time.
“Oh, hello there.” She said. “I’m sorry, i didn’t see you down there.”
Pulling herself up to her full height, which made her look even more like a giant to her tiny observer, the hooman glanced all around her.
“Are you lost?” She said, turning back to the small foal. “Where’s the others?”
“I’m looking for Auntie Woona. Can you help me?” Sweetie asked in reply.
“Of course I can, I’m sure she’s not far away.” The hooman smiled wide, lots of flat white teeth on display. “But what did daddy tell you about strange creatures?”
Sweetie looked down at her small forehoof as she dug it into the dirt. She’d been caught out.
“He said I shouldn’t talk to strange creatures until I’m told that they're safe.” She repeated from memory. Daddy had been very definite about this.
“Indeed he did.” The hooman nodded.
Sweetie suddenly had a very big thought.
“But if we tell each other who we are then we won’t be strangers any more and then I can talk to you.” She declared, feeling very pleased with herself.
The hooman just laughed. “That’s very logical of you my dear. Mommy Twilight would be proud of you.”
Crouching down in the dirt the hooman brought herself closer to the little filly’s eye level.
“So what’s your name, little one?” She asked.
“I’m Sweet Spirit.” Sweetie grinned before adding. “But everyone calls me ‘Sweetie’.”
“That's a very nice name, Sweetie. Where did you get that from?”
“Mommy says I’m named after Auntie Bon Bon.” Sweetie looked puzzled. “But I don’t get it. Her name’s not ‘Sweetie’.”
The hooman laughed again. She had a nice laugh.
“Yes, that threw me for a while too.” The hooman wiped at an eye with one of her long fingers. “Not every pony uses their birth name when they get big like me. When Auntie Bon Bon was a little pony just like you she used to be called Sweetie Drops.”
Sweetie just looked more puzzled. “Oh. Why is she Bon Bon then?”
The hooman used her hand to ruffle Sweetie’s mane just like daddy did. Almost by instinct the foal waved a forehoof at her in response.
“Sometimes when a pony gets their cutie mark they decide to choose a name that suits them better. Auntie Pinkie used to be ‘Pinkamina’. She still is at times I suppose. Sorry, that was a bad example.”
The girl tapped a finger nail against her teeth a few times as she pondered other examples.
“Ooh, mommy. Your mommy used to be just called ‘Heartstrings’. After she got her cutie mark she added the Lyra bit to her name.”
“So getting your cutie mark means you can change your name?” Sweetie wasn’t so sure about this. She liked her name just the way it was.
“No... yes... well, maybe.“
The hooman seemed flustered. Sweetie had thought it seemed such a simple question but it looked like it was bigger than she’d thought.
“So will I get a cutie mark?” Sweetie asked. “Some big ponies say I’m not normal so I might not get one but I really really want one of my own.”
The hooman’s hand had moved down to her right hip, her fingers rubbing against the fabric of her shorts. For a moment the big girl looked so sad that Sweetie just wanted to give her a hug.
Before the foal even had a chance to move towards her, the hooman was suddenly happy again. But even a child could see that her smile wasn’t quite right.
“Yes, I think you will.” The hooman took her hand from her hip and put it on the ground before her in order to better keep her balance. “All proper ponies get a cutie mark, and no matter what any mean old meanie pants says, you’re definitely a proper pony.”
“Oh, so what about you?” Sweetie asked.
“Me? I’ve had a lot of names, mainly because no pony could ever get it right. They kept getting the last bit wrong which drove one of my mothers nuts. So now I just go by ‘Hope’.”
Sweetie giggled. “No, silly. I meant do you have a cutie mark?”
“Oh. Sorry, silly me. No, I’m afraid I don’t.”
The hooman looked so sad again. But before the big girl had a chance to put on that odd smile Sweetie stood up on her hind legs so she could give her a hug.
Though slightly startled at first, Hope soon leant into the embrace, stroking at Sweetie’s mane before letting the filly go.
“But it’s ok.” She said. “My father doesn’t have one either so it’s not like it’s the end of the world or anything.”
Sweetie nodded. “My daddy doesn’t have one as well. But this one time Mommy Rainbow drawed one on his bum with a pen. That was really funny.”
Hope laughed at the thought. “Oh my. I’d forgotten all about that. Yes, she did, didn’t she?”
At that Sweetie put a forehoof on the big girl’s elbow... no, knee, they were still called knees on hoomans.
“So are we friends now?” She asked.
“Yes, I guess we are. “ The sudden display of white teeth from Hope’s face was quite surprising. “Thank you.”
Sweetie had another go at being puzzled again, she was doing that a lot today. “What for?”
“For being my friend. It’s nice to have friends. Trust me, if you grow up different enough then making friends can be tough.”
“Oh. why?”
“Well not every pony is as good as your mommies and your aunties and all the rest of your family’s friends at getting along with people that are different to them. It makes them afraid and ponies aren’t always very nice when they’re afraid.”
“That’s not good.”
“No, no it’s not. But you get used to to.”
Which led to a lull in the conversation where even the usually exuberant foal didn't quite know what to say next. But it wasn’t long before a topic came to her on the breeze.
“So what were you singing?” Sweetie asked. “It sounded like a nice song. I really liked it.”
“Oh, that?” Hope looked a little embarrassed at having been overheard. “It was a very old song my father used to sing to me when I was about your age. He taught me a whole lot of old songs.
“Really, my daddy sings to me too. What was it about?”
“Well, I guess it’s about how the future isn’t set. That it’s something that we have to make for ourselves.” Hope’s face lit up as she spoke. “All of us have something different ahead of us and no two futures are the same; for you, for me, for everybody. So we just have to do everything we can to make it the best that we can.”
And just as quickly her face fell as if she’d just heard some bad news.
“But I can tell you this. Something’s going to happen soon that you won't like and it’ll be scary and you won’t see daddy or your mommies for a while. But it’ll soon be over, trust me on this. You just have to be big girl for daddy when he asks, okay? You have to promise to be brave, can you do that for me, Sweetie?
Sweetie didn’t really understand but she nodded anyway.
“I know you will.”
Hope ruffled the filly’s mane again but this time Sweetie was happy to just let her do it.
“You know, in another time and another world, it could have all been so different. I could have been so different.”
As the wind picked up again Hope craned her neck to get a better look around the field, her greater size meaning she could see over the crops even though she was still crouched down.
Using her fingers to tuck a few errant strands of her vibrant hair behind a gently pointed ear she turned back to her young friend.
“Auntie Luna will be here soon.” She said. “That’ll be good, won’t it?”
“Yeah. “ Sweetie agreed, nodding profusely. “I love Auntie Woona.”
“Of course you do.” Hope cheered up again, this time the smile actually looked real. “We all did.”
Folding her legs underneath her in the dirt and trampled wheat, Hope sat herself in the dirt next to young Sweetie, her hooves tucked up under her thighs.
“She’ll be here soon, I’m sure. Until then, do you want to sing with me?”
The foal nodded, excitement evident across her feature. She loved to sing. On her own was good but with others was much better.
“Do you remember what I was singing before?”
Sweetie nodded again. She had a really good memory for songs and could sing them all on her own after only hearing them one or maybe two times.
“Of course you do. So let’s sing together.”
And sing they did - two strange creatures, both the only ones of their kind in the whole of the magical land of Equestria, sitting together in a field of gold as Princess Celestia’s glorious sun beat down upon them.
“When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, what will I be?
Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me.
Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera, what will be, will be.“
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When Princess Luna found her a little while later Sweet Spirit was all alone, happily singing to herself in the warm summer breeze.
All alone but still smiling.