Many ponies claim to be the Seventh Element of Love/Honor/Fluffy Kittens/Whatever, all in the name of superficial love and glory. Many seek to fight monsters, to claim famous mares as their lovers, or to just stroke their egos. Enough for the Powers That Be to notice.

Chuck Norris is not happy.

Chuck Norris is going to slap roundhouse kick a filly.

Incredible thanks to Regidar and ThatOneWriter for helping me out by prereading it!

Special thanks to Manes for giving me the inspiration I needed to finish this!

I was known as Frank DeFontaine. I was going to a Halloween party. I was a pretty intelligent kid, starting my first college term, and decided a little dress-up couldn't hurt.
My buddy Richard got involved, though. And like everything, he took it a bit too far. This time, I didn't say no, though. I really should have.
Next thing I know, we're going all-out on making my Dullahan costume. Because he's my favorite optional boss, and all.
Really shoulda known something was up when that guy behind the counter just so happened to have a sword that fit our specifications perfectly.
Next thing I know, I'm in Equestria. And I'm missing a head.
Sakes, I could use a drink. And a neck.
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Featured on 2/19/2014.
I'd like to leave it at "Holy mother of-!" but that doesn't capture what I'm feeling!

An open flame and a lot of gas was all it took to kill me. After my death, I discovered I wasn't in my home, or my body. Then I believed I was in the game Half Life 2, then...well I don't know anymore. After discovering what I assumed were horses, I tried to communicate. Then it ended up with me losing my nerve and hiding from them while staring from afar. Creepy I know. But can you blame me?

I'm stuck in an Advisor's body. A being that's built for killing and commanding. But for some odd reason...I don't feel distraught over it.

(Special thanks to my EPIC Editor ultra1437)

(Notice how LONG the first hundred paragraphs are...that's normal.)(HAH! MY IMAGE IS NOW FILLED WITH GORE!)

The Arbiter. That is merely his title, nothing more. He has no name, no family, and no future... until now.

This Arbiter, he who was born of hate and wrath, thought no creature, let alone a mere human, could ever best him in combat. But, he was wrong. In the events of the Halo wars campaign, the Arbiter fought sergeant Forge multiple times, each time suffering a heavier, more degrading defeat. And at last, just when he thought he had the pestilent human, the gods suddenly turned their wrath upon him for his failures, and he failed against the little human, and perished on the shield world containing the forerunner fleet... or so he thought.

The gods he followed may have forsaken him on that day, but another, more fun power gave him another chance, to begin again, in a new world of its choice. However, that power failed to specify the Arbiter's new purpose, and dumped the belligerent sangheilli into a world that tests his very patience every moment of every day. Will he finally discover the source of true peace here, in this colorful, pony-filled world, or will he burn the fetid, cutesy, scum-sucking, human-loving planet to its bedrock!?

...Probably the latter.

Lashona is one fine sassy woman living the dream. No debt, no kids, no husband, she's got it all. Due to forces beyond her control, she finds herself in Equestria.

And she isn't having any of it.

Nuh uh. No way, no how.

Hey look, YouTube readings! Start here!

What people are saying about it:
"Hey, RainbowBob made a new... Wait a minute..."
~Skeeter The Lurker
"Flint, this is absolutely f***ing brilliant."
~SpaceCommie
"Why would you even..?"
~Comrade Sparkle
"Flint, you can't release this...you'll destroy us all!"
~HAZESHIFT
"Totally just commented to see if I could get onto the list of things people are saying about it."
~Garbo802
"A group just for you!"
~wulf95
"Why the hell are there so many people in the description? THIS IS NEPOTISM!!"
~Vengeful Spirit
"this is gay"
~Regidar

What would happen if Spike was born earlier than in the show and was raised by dragons instead of ponies? What if his teacher told him to come with him to meet with Celestia and the recently returned Luna. How will the princesses and Elements of Harmony handle a blunt, sarcastic, and strong young dragon. And how would this affect a certain shy Pegasus who is afraid of dragons.

A.U./Anthro/ Slow FlutterSpike

Edited by Starblade

Twilight's parents divorced seven years ago when she was ten. She went to live with her mother while her eight year old adoptive brother went to live with their father. Now that she's seventeen and moved to Ponyville Spike is moving from Manhattan to live with her and their mother. Looks like Pinkie is going to make a new friend, maybe more than a friend.

A.U./Modern/PinkieSpike

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor John Watson have solved many cases together. They've seen death, destruction, and more in their line of work. In short, they have come to expect the unexpected.

They never could have predicted they would be turned into ponies. Or sent to Equestria. Or that there would be a case there steeped in magic, fear, blood and betrayal.

Buckle up, kiddies. It's about to get weird.

Both Sherlock and Watson are from the BBC series Sherlock. Takes place after Baskerville, before the last episode of the second season.

What would My Little Pony be like if it were British? Let's all don our top hats and monocles, sip some tea, and watch a jolly good show, guvnah!

Now with its own reading!

Living in Equestria under a false name and racial identity is one thing. Finding out you're not the only one of your kind stranded here is another... especially when that someone and the element bearers are looking for you.

Being my first attempt at a first-person romantic comedy, this takes a slightly different approach to the concept of being a human stranded in Equestria.

Enjoy.

Big thanks to DVAN56 for editing. Go check out his work!