• Member Since 28th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 25th, 2023

Flint Sparks

Who let the dogs out?


Many ponies claim to be the Seventh Element of Love/Honor/Fluffy Kittens/Whatever, all in the name of superficial love and glory. Many seek to fight monsters, to claim famous mares as their lovers, or to just stroke their egos. Enough for the Powers That Be to notice.

Chuck Norris is not happy.

Chuck Norris is going to slap roundhouse kick a filly.

Incredible thanks to Regidar and ThatOneWriter for helping me out by prereading it!

Special thanks to Manes for giving me the inspiration I needed to finish this!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 317 )

This can only end well. :pinkiehappy:

Chuck Norris, the Element of Surprise! That's an amazing and brilliant idea. :twilightsmile:


Er, no. That's quite the opposite of the point of the story! :twilightsmile:

Oh... well I'm getting my cup of coffee now before I read this. That was just my reaction to the cover art and summary. :twilightblush:

No worries! :twilightsmile: Just know this story is the opposite of most "Seventh Element" stories.

I am going to read this story.

... After I've pulled tapes and gotten all caught up on the two rounds of hourly checks that I'm going to have to do before and after I pull tapes.

You suck, work. You really do suck. :ajbemused:

Brucey? Not even Chuck would survive insulting Bruce Lee.

This is gloriously ridiculous.

But not even Bruce could stand against Chuck and friends. :twilightsmile:

...What did I just read? :derpyderp1:

By the way, you should add in the description the author of the cover image, Metal-Kitty.

Ugh. Shipping end note. Left a bitter taste in my mouth. :pinkiesick:

Otherwise, it was good. Chuck Norris would approve... I think. I cannot fathom the true thoughts of Chuck Norris.

4119202 THANK YOU! I was searching for the artist! :raritydespair:

Totally a better love story than Twilight.

Oh man this was beautiful! My mortal mind cannot take the sheer awesome of the great Chuck Norris! :raritydespair: :pinkiegasp:

meeting eye-to-eye a pink-maned pony with—[i[Wings?

Looks like you've got a broken italics code.

All I can say is Chuck Norris doesn't need catch phrases, catch phrases need Chuck Norris.

It was at this chapter that I realized...

Chuck Norris x Fluttershy OTP. I don't care what the tags say. :yay:

You won, Flint Sparks.

<insert name of black and red oc here> burst through the doors as he/she exclaimed "HUZZA FEAR NOT FOR I THE ELEMENT OF FLUFFY KITTENS HAS ARRIVED":rainbowlaugh:

I've gone blind from the awesomeness that is this story. Please send help. I can't see.

You need a romance tag, Flint. :rainbowlaugh: You caught me by surprise.

You should really make a sequel, i see more ass to be smitten

Well...that escalated Qui BWA!! -round house kicks- NO BAD!

Its not the chuck Norris part of this story that gets me, its the whole Lucifer part. I can't help but imagine the lord of darkness with a fluttershy t-shirt and a plushie singing the beginning of the show now :derpytongue2:

4119804 *points to cover art*

Perhaps. I shall think about it, along with an epilogue here. :pinkiesmile:

Fllllllint! You didn't tell me it was out!:rainbowkiss:also congrats on the featured!



... why do I have this erection?

>needs a romance tag
>looks at cover art
>Element of Surprise

So... secret butt fun? I mean, I see Nightmare Moon's plot in the picture. That doesn't really give a decent indication that it's going to be roma--

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH. :twilightblush:

4119927 Did not see that coming! :raritydespair: I thought it was a flop, then I took a nap! Why do I only get featured when I take naps? :raritydespair:

4119931 Question is, why wouldn't you?

4119936 :heart:

Don't question it. Welcome it my friend:moustache:

It's about to get real.

Good job, this was hilarious.

This was an excellent story. Well done!:ajsmug::twilightsmile:

I only have one wee question, though: you do know that the picture that you used for the cover to this fic was done by Metal-Kitty over at DA, right? (He also goes by just "Metal" over at FurAffinity.) You should give him proper credit for it, and maybe go to DA (or FA) and ask him if you can use it. It wouldn't hurt.

4120054 The picture is directly linked to him if you click the source. :twilightsmile: I had trouble finding the original source (a friend linked me the picture from a joke website), but 4119202 help solve that dilemma.

:twilightsmile: Thank you, and I'll be sure to let him know.

4120065 Oh, okay.:twilightsmile:

Actually, I didn't know that, as I just clicked on the pic itself, not the "source" thing. Sorry 'bout that.:twilightblush:

You very welcome, and good. Metal is one of my fave MLP artists out there (if you haven't checked out his "MLP_Project Comic (The Dark Crown could be it's alternate title), I highly recommend that you do so. It's really really good!), and I love it when he gets attention.:ajsmug::twilightsmile::yay:

4119077 Bruce Lee killed Chuck once already. :ajsmug:

Bruce Lee kicked Chuck's arse in Enter the Dragon.

4120166 *points to the title of the fourth chapter*
Trust me, it's referenced.

“Silly pony,” Chuck Norris teased, “don’t you know that baddies never win in cartoons?”

Dear God, the lols :rainbowlaugh:

“So, Mister Norris, what are you doing to do now?

You should change doing with going.


She took Bruce Lee’s wrists in his hoofs, hovering above the ground with her buzzing wings, and struggled against his strength.

As well as changing his to her.:twilightsmile:

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