Hello, I'm Mary. I'm a mother of two, married to the most wonderful man I could hope for and live what I consider to be, the life I've always wanted. So... why oh why, in the wide, wide world of whys, did this happen to me?

This is my story, for better or for worse, about how things in my life became beyond unbearable.

It's funny how a random whim can turn out to cause the most profound encounters in a person's life. By attempting a bit of magic, I was able to get the once in a lifetime chance to talk with actual royalty! Only, royalty from another world...

This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.
~~
This is a spin-off story to 'Why am I Pinkie Pie?!', and will contain spoilers for that story, but it's not necessary to read that story to understand this one.
Cover art by the talented Conicer
Need more Cinnamon Swirl? Merlos the Mad wrote a fanfic of this story!

There is now a side-story: A Hard Day's Nightmare Night

Humans.

Truth or myth? Ancient lost civilization or just an old pony's tale?

No pony has ever seen one, and most haven't even heard of them. But Lyra knows that these wonderful creatures are more than just old legends, and she's going to find out... and possibly drive her roommate insane in the process.

King Sombra’s dark influence was obliterated by the Crystal Heart, and the villain is well and truly dead. But when he attempts to steal the afterlife of an innocent victim, a human spirit is left hurtling towards Equestria, where this unfortunate soul is revived into the only vessel available: the reconstituted body of King Sombra himself.

Thus, a cheerfully oblivious alien is crammed into the form of the most evil and malicious being Equestria has ever known. Not that Shining Armor and Cadence know this, of course. As far as they are concerned, the King is back and he’s lost his fricking mind.

Click here for the TV Tropes page!

==Originally written spring 2011== Equestria Daily Post==
GLaDOS is free of Chell, free to continue testing, when she discovers a portal gun Wheatley tried to repair with duct tape. When the portal gun catastrophically fails, the enrichment center, GLaDOS, and Chell are literally dropped in the middle of Equestria. The mute test subject soon finds the world of ponies far more welcoming than the human world. But GLaDOS sees possibilities. Let the testing begin... for science.

It's Sisterhooves Social time again. This year, Dash catches wind of two new competitors and gets Spike to bet on the race. When her team is revealed to be a rather famous set of siblings, it looks like poor Spike will be her slave for a week! However, due to a team of masseurs, a minor invasion, unfortunate addictions, and dubious barrel components, victory might not be as near as she thinks...

You know these stories where somebody suddenly wakes up with a creepy, unknown voice in their head? Well that's what's happening to me, except I'm that strange voice, and I'm not stuck in somebody, I'm stuck in somePONY.
How did I get here? And how will I ever find a way to go back without so much as a body to call my own?

Now with 100% more cover art thanks to the splendiferously awesome Exelzior! Go read his stuff instead of mine! Do it!

Rated teen for foul-mouthed protagonist. Expect bad words.

Princess Celestia tires of constantly being surrounded by decorum, deference, and formality, and decides to take a day off from being Princess. But visiting Ponyville incognito is harder than she expects. Will she be able to fit in and make friends without blowing her cover?