• Published 17th Dec 2011
  • 149,944 Views, 7,587 Comments

Anthropology - JasonTheHuman



Lyra is determined to find out the truth behind the mysterious legends of humans.

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One Month Later

She hadn’t thought it would be possible.

The very idea was just unimaginable…

But there was even more talk about humans spreading around in Ponyville now than Bon-Bon had ever heard, even when Lyra was still living with her.

About a month had gone by since Twilight Sparkle had returned from Princess Celestia’s errand, and the news of what they had done spread quickly. Or, to be more accurate, once Pinkie Pie had spilled the truth to everypony in town, the others hadn’t thought it was worth keeping it quiet anymore.

And as much as Bon-Bon wanted to distance herself from the entire thing, she was practically the center of attention. Everypony knew she had been Lyra’s roommate for four years. Now that Lyra had turned out to be some kind of creature from another dimension, everyone wanted to know if she’d ever been different, or weird, or done any odd things.

Why, yes, Bon-Bon would tell them, now that you mention it, maybe Lyra had been a little strange from time to time.

The last time she had seen Lyra, she had gotten something of a rough explanation from her. Bits and pieces, at least, and all of it was completely insane. Her father – or adoptive caregiver, whatever he was – had explained the rest. Lyra was a real human. How that stallion and his wife had done it, Bon-Bon just couldn't comprehend.

Bon-Bon couldn't be sure what upset her more - the fact that Lyra had been right, and humans were real, or that Lyra was a human herself.

But really. A human and the Element of Magic? When you added that to the equation, it added up to say that nopony would ever hear the end of this.

The timer on the oven went off with a “ding.” Bon-Bon carefully removed the tray of cupcakes and set them on the counter. No matter what strange gossip was spreading around Ponyville, business at Sugarcube Corner was going on as usual, and here in the kitchen it was nice and -

“Bon-Bon!” The peace and quiet was broken, again, by Pinkie Pie. She bounced into the kitchen from the front door.

Bon-Bon gritted her teeth, then forced a smile. “Pinkie, what are you doing?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take over in here. You’d better go outside!”

“What…” Bon-Bon wrinkled her nose. “I’ve hardly gotten started. What are you talking about?”

“Just look!”

Bon-Bon sighed. Pinkie was a good baker, regardless of anything else. She didn’t have to worry about the kitchen. She just had to worry about whatever it was that had her so excited. At this point, she truly believed that no news was good news.

She trotted out through the front room of the bakery, out from behind the counter. She headed for the front doors, which led right to the outdoor seating that she still occasionally ate at on her days off…

And froze.

“No…” she breathed.

“Bon-Bon! I can’t believe it!” Lyra stood up from one of the tables and ran over. Except…

She was definitely recognizable – the voice, the hair, and the overly energetic behavior was unmistakably Lyra. But she wasn’t a pony.

“Lyra, what – “ Bon-Bon started to say, but Lyra wrapped her front legs – no, arms – around her neck and she froze. She could feel those fingers, clawlike, yet soft and dull, in her mane. She only let out a breath when Lyra took her arms away and knelt down to be at eye level with her.

“It’s great to be back in Ponyville. It’s like nothing ever changed,” Lyra said, looking around. “It’s weird. I've gotten so tired of talking about Equestria, since everybody’s always asking me about it back home, but actually being here isn’t so bad. And – “

“Lyra, what are you doing?” Bon-Bon hissed. Her eyes darted around. She noticed some ponies across the street who had slowed down to see. “Everypony’s staring at you! How did you even come here in the first place?”

“Twilight came over and brought me here. I’m supposed to meet with Princess Celestia later today,” Lyra said, looking innocent enough. “But she said I could stop by here for a while. Besides, we hardly had time to talk before."

Bon-Bon stared at her. “You’re meeting with Princess Celestia?” she said, not believing what she heard.

“Yeah. She wanted me to come. But come on, Pinkie said she’d bring out some food for us. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed Sugarcube Corner.”

Lyra stood up. Bon-Bon, painfully aware of all the eyes staring at them as ponies passed by, slowly followed her over to the table. The way she walked, it was just odd. How could something on just two legs be that tall and still support itself?

“So how have you been, Bon-Bon?” Lyra sat down on a chair in the same odd, slouching position she’d always used, folding her arms in front of her.

“I’ve been… fine,” Bon-Bon said.

“That’s good. How’s business at Sugarcube Corner? Doesn’t look too busy right now.”

“It’s been fine...”

“I didn’t really get a chance to look around last time. I was in such a hurry.”

“Yes…”

They sat there quietly. Bon-Bon tried not to stare at Lyra, or even look at her. She noticed an unfamiliar newspaper on the table. Definitely not one of the Ponyville papers.

Finally, she couldn’t hold it back any longer. “Lyra, what were you thinking coming back here looking like that?”

Lyra frowned. “You could at least act happy to see me.”

Bon-Bon sighed and shook her head. Honestly, she could think of quite a few choice words for Lyra right now, but she was choosing to be polite. “It’s not that, it’s just… well…”

“I had to come. Princess Celestia’s really concerned about what’s going on back home. Discord didn’t exactly go by unnoticed.” Lyra pushed the paper towards Bon-Bon’s end of the table. “See? There’s Rainbow Dash, right on the cover of USA Today. This one’s from a few weeks ago, but all the talk still hasn't died down.”

Bon-Bon stared at the cover of the human newspaper without really reading it. The picture was of Rainbow Dash, or at least a blue- and rainbow-colored blur in front of some kind of odd grey building.

"Humans had never really seen ponies until they showed up. Most of them think they were all part of the chaos Discord was causing," Lyra said. "Think about it. It just causes a lot of confusion when these weird creatures show up and humans haven't even seen plain old magic before."

Bon-Bon's eyes narrowed. "Oh, yes. It certainly does cause confusion when strange creatures show up."

Lyra didn't notice the remark and went on. “The Princess wants to decide how much contact Equestria will have with humans now. I mean, a lot of humans are pretty obsessed with figuring out what happened. My friends decided not to talk about it, not that they really understand it themselves.” She shrugged.

“Oh, of course. You just gave the Elements of Harmony to a bunch of your human friends and they don’t even know what they are!” Bon-Bon rolled her eyes.

“Well, no. It’s really hard to explain how it works. Even I don’t really get it,” Lyra said. “The important part is that we stopped Discord, right?”

“You do have a point…” Bon-Bon said. “What happened to him, anyway?”

Lyra shrugged. “I dunno.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“He turned back into a statue, but… I’m not sure what happened to it. Twilight wanted to find out how to get him back to Equestria, but he just vanished. Paul thinks the government might’ve taken him to study. They were all over New York investigating after we stopped him. They still are, I think.” Lyra looked down at the paper on the table. “And nothing’s been on the news about him. Believe me, I’ve been paying attention.”

“So you’re just leaving Discord in your world?”

Lyra sighed. “This is all really complicated and I don’t quite get it. My dad said it’s normal for the government to be tight about ‘national security issues.’ I’m just going to tell Celestia what I know and she’ll decide what to do next.” She drummed her fingers on the table in an idle motion. “But I’ve had enough of all this serious stuff. How are you?”

“Well, I've been...” Bon-Bon realized what Lyra had just said. "Princess Celestia is considering more contact with humans? That's absolutely the last thing we - "

“Well, she’s not really sure yet. That’s what I’m here to talk about with her. For the moment, I’m the only human she wants in Equestria,” Lyra said. She scratched the back of her head with those fingers of hers. “But I thought I’d ask about bringing my sister over for a visit sometime.”

Pinkie Pie came out of the front door, carefully balancing a tray on her head. She trotted over to where they were sitting and let it slide down onto the table.

“Here you go!” she said.

Lyra stared at it as if she'd never seen food in her life. “Cake from Sugarcube Corner... I’ve missed this more than you could believe.” She picked up the fork – not with magic, with one of those… hands – and started eating immediately.

Bon-Bon shook herself, forcing herself to stop staring, and said, “Your… sister?”

“I know I told you about her,” Lyra spoke in between bites. “I’ve got a younger sister. Human. Well, I guess that's obvious. But Chloe hasn’t stopped talking about Equestria ever since it happened, and when Twilight showed up today…” Lyra smiled. “Anyway, I thought that a trip to Canterlot would make a great Christmas present for her. If I’m allowed.”

“What?” Bon-Bon gasped.

“Christmas. My family says we really do celebrate that, just like I read about. It’s right around Hearth’s – “

“No, you’re saying you’re bringing another human here? To Canterlot, on a huge holiday when thousands of ponies from all over Equestria will be there?”

“Yeah. Chloe would love that.” Lyra took another bite of her cake and grinned contentedly.

“After all the commotion you’re sure to cause coming here like that, you’re going to bring another human – somepony who’s never even been a pony – and just walk around Canterlot?” Bon-Bon said. “Don't you think you've already done enough to Equestria?”

Lyra twirled the fork around between her fingers. “I know, isn’t it great? Just… if Chloe does get to come for a visit, you have to be nice to her.” Lyra bit her lip. “I… may have given her some unrealistic expectations about Equestria.”

"Oh, for the love of - “

She was interrupted by a voice from behind. "Come on, it’s just Lyra.”

"You go talk to her, then.”

“Uh… I… Fine!” Scootaloo trotted up to the table, with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom close behind. “Uh, we had a question.”

“Sure! What is it?” Lyra said.

Scootaloo went quiet. Apple Bloom shot her a look, then said, “Well… We were wondering…”

“Is it true humans don’t get cutie marks?” Sweetie Belle said.

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom nodded. “And… that you lost yours when you turned into one?”

“Sure did,” Lyra nodded.

The fillies looked at her in shock. “But… You’re okay with that? But it takes so much work to get a cutie mark!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Well, I still know that music is what I want to do,” Lyra said. “I don’t really need a cutie mark to know that. Actually, it's been clearer than ever since I became human.”

Scootaloo turned around and walked off, with the other two fillies following. “No wonder Rainbow Dash said she didn’t like it over there. It sounds weird.”

"Rarity didn't seem to think it was that bad..."

Bon-Bon watched them leave, then turned back to Lyra. "I'd already heard enough about humans to last a lifetime... Now that you've shown up, it'll never stop. You really have no idea what you've done to Equestria, do you? I always worried that you'd go too far, and now look."

"Well... yeah," Lyra admitted. "I would have preferred if nobody found out. Like I said, things are getting complicated back home, too. All I really want is to have a normal human life."

"Have you ever been a normal anything?"

Lyra smiled. "Maybe not," she said. “I guess it’s a little easier now that my family knows about all of this.” She waved the fork around. “They think it’s so fascinating that I used to be able to do magic. And they’re happy to explain whatever I don’t understand about the human world. I was already fitting in pretty well before.”

"It's good that you fit in somewhere," Bon-Bon said.

"You'd understand if you ever got to see the human world. It really is better than I ever could have imagined." Lyra seemed to think for a minute, then her eyes lit up. "Hey! Do you want me to ask the Princess if you - "

"No."

"Your loss." Lyra shrugged. “Chloe’s just thrilled, though. She thinks it’s the coolest thing ever that I was a unicorn. She was obsessed with them before she even met me.”

“She certainly is your sister…”

“What do you mean?” Lyra tilted her head.

“Well, you have so much in common,” Bon-Bon said.

Lyra laughed. “Nah, we’re like total opposites. I’m kind of jealous that she got to be a human her whole life. She doesn’t realize how lucky she is.”

"You haven't changed at all, have you?"

"Of course I have," Lyra said, flexing her fingers. "Just look at these."

Bon-Bon gave an exasperated sigh and shook her head, unable to find the words. Lyra looked down at her empty plate a bit sadly, and noticed the slice of cake still sitting untouched in front of Bon-Bon.

“Are you gonna eat that?”

Comments ( 993 )

UPDATE!

FIRST!!!!!
Nice chapter.
Lyra still doesn't get sarcasm.


The story is awesome, too bad it have to end. Maybe an alternate ending?

Epic!

It looks like Equestria and Earth are preparing for First Contact. I hope it goes well!

KMCA #3 · Jul 21st, 2012 · · ·

Bon-Bon gave an exasperated sigh and shook her head, unable to find the words. Lyra looked down at her empty plate a bit sadly, and noticed the slice of cake still sitting untouched in front of Bon-Bon.

“Are you gonna eat that?"


Woah flashback

Zege #4 · Jul 21st, 2012 · · 1 ·

Wow, Bon-Bon comes off as a total bitch, to say it plainly. Lyra is still irrepressibly cheerful though it seems!

A little sad to see it end, but it was a fun ride.

Woooooo!!! Hold on, gimme a min, I'm speechless in a good way!

COMPLETE !? D:

Ooooo, Celestia is considering further contact with humans...Do I smell sequel bait?:pinkiehappy:
Well even if it's just my imagination, this marks the end to a great story that has been my pleasure to read.
Thank you for all the hours of entertainment I've gotten from this, and I look forward to your next undertaking should their be one.:twilightsmile:

Is it just me or did Bon Bon sound a little Bitchy in this chapter?

Aaaaaaaand full circle. Me gusta mucho.

Well done old chap.

I'm starting to kind of dislike Bon-Bon. Being weirded out by your roommate's freaky obsession is one thing, but now that humans are verified fact her attitude hasn't really changed; she's being a real downer in general now. I suppose she's not being actively hostile or anything, just ... a pill.

It's... over? But it was so good... :applecry:

Eh, all things must come to an end. Thank you for the amazing ride. It was a real treat.

I hope there'll be a sequel.

Guys story is over, I took a look at the status down there, so if he continues tis he will likely Make a new one.

15th! READS AWESOME! !!! WAIT,last chapter? NOO!:pinkiesad2:

Complete? :fluttershbad: :raritycry:

Great end to a great story.

Well done, well done...

Ending was perfect!

Sucks that its over, but glad I got to read it while it lasted.

i smiled ... enough said

No more waiting for Anthropology updates? What will I do now?

It's over NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!:applecry:

Someone handed Bon-Bon the conflict ball, but Lyra's not taking the bait.

Does that tag say "Complete"?

:fluttercry: :raritycry: :applecry: :pinkiesad2:

Please sir, I'd like some more.:pinkiesad2:

Thanks for this masterpiece, Jason. It's sad to see it come to an end, but oh so satisfying at the same time.

I gotta be honest: you introduced me both to Lyra, my favorite BG pony (I was rather new to the fandom when I discovered this fic), and also showed me how good fanfiction is done. If it weren't for this story, I don't think I would have the same attitude towards this site, fanfiction, or even the fandom in general. And for that, I want to sincerely thank you and wish you the best of luck in any of your future writings.

944093
Honestly, that works for me. Not that Bon Bon has had a lot of speaking lines on the show, but almost every time she has, she's sounded kinda stuck-up.

WAIT!!!!

The End.

There we go! :pinkiehappy:

And sadly, one of the greatest Fanfictions I've ever read comes to a close. Such a shame. But oh well, we humans live on, right?

That ending, though. Brilliant. Ending with the same sentence you started with. I love that tactic! Just brilliant.

Bravo to you, jasonthehuman. Bravo and thank you.

One of the very few fics on my favorites list that is complete.

Fantastic ride all the way through. Never going to forget this story!

Bon-Bon was definitely in full bitch mode. Good story, though I'd love a HIE continuation of the contact between Equestria and Earth. Obviously with Lyra as the representative.

'Mr. President, Fingers... are... awesome!'

Is this.... The End?

What? This is the end? How could you possibly end the fic without explaining how Lyra got sent to Equestria in the first place? That's such a total rip-off. :ajbemused:

...

Wait...I think I wrote this comment out-of-order. Let me try again:

:heart: WOOP WOOP! AWESOME FIC! CONGRATULATIONS!! :pinkiehappy:

'Are you gonna eat that?'

Isn't that where we came in?

944167 You could wait to see if the sequel hook catches any fish? :3

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S COMPLEEEHEEHEEEETE! :raritydespair::raritycry:

Tres bien:pinkiehappy:, i demand a sequel.

Story's over?

Awwww...
Oh well. All good things have to come to an end...
:ajsleepy::fluttercry::pinkiesad2::raritydespair:

And how many weeks until the sequel starts?

And now that ive read it, two things.
1.SEQUEL!
2.Bon-Bon's a bitch!
That is all.

Very nice, will there be a squeal?

944218

Read JTH's profile page. . . certainly nothing soon and nothing of this scope. :pinkiesad2:

Noooooooo~ it says its complete:fluttercry:
Is there an Epilogue and/or Sequel? I do hope there is one! Pretty please with every kind of sweet on top!:pinkiesad2:

In any case you have really given your readers quite the ride here, and simply put it was Fantastic! Before reading this I never did care much of Lyra and her "love" of humans but reading this that changed and I love her so XD. (Just like how certain fanfics has made me think more highly of other characters) Sure its just fanfiction but stuff like these makes you appreciate them more may it be canon or fanon.

To you and everyone who has helped you along the way I simply say THANK YOU!:flutterrage: ....:twilightsmile:
Three times I had to rewrite this (and shorten it) 3 fething times because of the gacking autodelete fuction on this bucking ps3 gaaaaaah whargarrbl@!*$&(*&

It's ending? Before Celestia even decides what to do about humanity? And what about Discord's mysteriously absent statue?
Please don't leave us like this! :raritydespair:

*ahem* Well, if you're going to leave it here, I have to say this has been a wonderful ride, Jason! :yay: You certainly have a talent for storytelling.

dat finale....

I just hope their First Contact won't end up like the TCB universe

"Complete?" Aw man, this is really the end! ... for now. :pinkiehappy:

I feel sorry for Bon Bon though. I would throw her a bone after all she had to go through. Lyra, I love you, but you gotta be a bit more open-minded and empathic to other subjects. I'm afraid Bon Bon might give you a quick buck in the face to make you realize that you're being way too forward for your own good!

It's nice how this ending is short and sweet to the point, although I can't help but feel there are a few too many loose ends. What about good byes, congratulations, and all that jazz? She just suddenly appears in Equestria almost immediately after Discord was stopped. That's kind of a huge jump.

It can't be over! NO! This is the WORST:raritydespair: POSSIBLE :raritydespair:THING:raritydespair: EVER! :raritycry:

That was a good ending! Really fun, though I kinda wanted to see more of Lyra's family :fluttershysad: and her friends too, they were fun. The Government has Discord yikes! That can't be good.

I gotta agree that Bon Bon comes off way too mean in this chapter, if you write a sequel you gotta fix her a little, she seems to dislike attracting attention a bit too much.

Well it ended like it began. I still have some questions though... can you believe that this is the first story I read here on FIMfiction? ANd i have only one thing to say, thank you for writting this... no really. This story is one of the reasons why I think Lyra is best pony.... :D thank you.

944231 Doesn't mean there won't be some oneshots in the same vein or universe.

Well done Jason! I can almost hear the sound of many spinoffs to come. :twilightsmile:

Aww, it's completed :(

Time for a SEQUEL!

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