Sadly, the Princesses haven't come back to visit me, yet. I've let them know that they're welcome any time, but I imagine that they're very busy these days. Especially if the season 2 finale is in any way accurate. I'm sure they have their hooves full.
Still, folks have been wanting a follow up. So, I thought I would try to amuse you all with a few things that didn't happen during the interview and subsequent Luna visit.
Consider this the "Blooper reel", if you like. And have fun!
~~*~~
"GREETINGS, MORTAL HUMAN! I, PRINCESS LUNA, HAVE ARRIVED AT THE REQUEST OF MY SISTER, PRINCESS CELESTIA OF EQUESTRIA, TO INFORM YOU THAT WE WERE ABLE TO DEAL DISCORD A SOUND DEFEAT, IN NO SMALL PART THANKS TO THE INFORMATION THAT YOU HAVE PROVIDED!"
There was a long pause. In the distance, car alarms were blaring. Several windows had shattered, not only on my house, but on both of my neighbors. Dogs in the distance were howling.
But I was unaware of all of that, seeing as I was now completely deaf.
~~*~~
"Has there ever been a case where a pony simply hasn't manifested a cutie mark?" I asked her.
"No," Celestia said, and then sighed deeply. "Except for Apple Bloom. I'm afraid that filly is destined to remain completely clueless."
"Oh, that's sad."
"Quite."
~~*~~
"What can you tell me about Discord? How did you defeat him?"
Celestia's head reared back in shock, and then she started laughing. Slowly, the laughter changed, becoming deeper and more malevolent. Then came a voice that was eerily familiar.
"Oh, my dear boy. Who said I was ever defeated?" Celestia's body changed, and before me stood the form of Discord.
He looks a lot less silly and much more frightening in real life, by the way.
"Thank you for the invite to your world, by the way. I believe it's time... to spread a little chaos!"
And that's the story of how I doomed the world. Sorry, guys. My bad.
~~*~~
I could sense her gathering her will. I don't know how, but I knew she was getting ready to go back to Equestria.
"Wait! Princess, please, I have one last question..."
She regarded me for a moment, and then nodded. My jaw worked soundlessly for a moment. I struggled with myself, briefly, and I lost. Was I really willing to do this? Was I really willing to ask this, and maybe throw my whole life away?
Yes. I was.
"Can I saddle you up and ride you around the night sky?" I asked. "Please?"
She looked startled for a moment, and then offended.
"DENIED!" she said, then disappeared in a flash of light.
~~*~~
I rushed back out to the living room and stopped in horror at what I saw. On the couch, completely unconcerned with the dignity of the Princesses’ position, and even less so with her grandeur, our big old gray cat had jumped up and nestled herself in by Celestia’s folded up front leg! Celestia was looking at her with a small smile curling at the corners of her mouth.
“Ah… her name is Nadine,” I told her. Nadine didn’t even crack an eye at me as I came in and said her name. She’d found a warm spot and had no intention of moving. “I can move her, if she’s bothering you.”
“Not a bother at all,” Celestia said graciously. “She’s adorable!”
Nadine looked up at her in surprise.
"Holy crap!" she said, "A talking horse!"
~~*~~
"Tell me, Celestia. Do you like bananas?"
"Why, yes, I do! Why do you ask?"
"It's just that we have a bunch out in the kitchen, and we have to eat them up before they go bad. Would you like one?"
"Certainly. Thank you."
Celestia ate her banana, and then we continued with the conversation.
~~*~~
Alternate Ending #1:
It's been months since I saw Celestia. Still, her parting gift to me was more than enough.
I'm divorced, now. My wife thinks I'm completely crazy. Still, she doesn't understand. I had to sell everything. I cashed out my savings and my 401k. I borrowed as much money as I could. I lived off my credit cards until those were maxed out. I'm sure the creditors would love to call and have a chat with me, but sadly, I no longer have a phone. I live in a small storage unit where I keep the few things I owned that I couldn't sell. I can't even afford the crappiest of apartments.
But it would all be worth it. The lab costs, the fees for the horses, as well as the cost of their upkeep... it would all be worth it.
Yes, that feather was the perfect gift. It was a pity that the process to extract the DNA had destroyed it. But now, I had six viable embryos remaining of the original twelve, all of them implanted into different brood mares. And the foals were healthy, as far as the vet could tell.
That was where all of my money went. My entire paycheck went to the boarding and care of those six horses, and the precious foals they carried within. And soon, in just a few month's time, the first of the foals would be born.
My own little Celestias.
And, with them, I will usher a new age of magic and friendship to the Earth.
You're welcome.
~~*~~
Alternate Ending #2:
"Take me with you?" I asked.
"Why, of course! Hold on to my mane!"
With joy, I grasped a handful of Celestia's flowing mane. It felt like grabbing a handful of water, indescribably soft and in constant motion.
Celestia's horn flared, and I was temporarily blinded. Blinking and rubbing at my eyes with my free hand, my vision eventually cleared. Stunned, I looked around to see that I was in Ponyville!
Everything was there. The artistic masterpiece of Sugarcube corner, the bizarre design of the joke shop, the tasteful Carousel Boutique. Not to mention the Books and Branches library, which was to be my initial destination. I was going to hug the ever loving daylights out of Twilight Sparkle!
And, of course, there were ponies. Ponies everywhere, in every shade and hue! They stared at me for a moment, then saw that I was with the Princess. Apparently, that made my appearance all right, as they smiled at me and gathered around to ask me questions.
"What are you?" Bon-Bon asked me.
"Do you like cake?" Carrot Top asked.
"What are those things on the ends of your arms?!" Lyra asked. I waved at her, wiggling my fingers, and she grinned and then immediately fainted.
"This is wonderful, Celestia! How long can I stay?"
Celestia smiled sadly, saying, "You can only stay until you wake up."
"What?"
And then my alarm went off.
Dammit.
~~*~~
Well, that's that! I hope you enjoyed this random bit of silliness.
Of course, none of the things above actually happened. But still, it's nice to dream, isn't it?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a letter to go write, and then burn.
If the Princesses answer this one, I promise you'll see a real follow up fairly soon!