The bed's really warm these days. Stan thought, half asleep. It was around five AM at the moment, and he lay awake, just staring up at the ceiling. A sudden snore, which had oddly sounded a liiittle like a whinny, caused him to look over at Mary. Her hair fanned wildly over the pillow beside her and all the way onto his own side of the bed. Her breathing became quiet again, and were it not for one of her ears flicking every few seconds, she would have been the very picture of peaceful.
Abruptly, Stan grimaced and reached over to pull out a lock of hair that had become trapped in her mouth. Mary held onto it while he attempted his rescue of the tan portion of mane. Her unconscious stubbornness caused him to roll his eyes and tug it hard once in order to free it. A little smile appeared when she began to frown, then rolled over while mumbling something about crepes. Well, you're definitely still my Mar. The smile became tinged with some sadness from the thought. Yeah...definitely still my Mary.
The tall man pushed himself up off the bed to sit up, a wave of dizziness overtook him for a moment, and left just as quickly. It didn't register to him as a problem, Hmph, sat up too fast... Stan was uneasy as it was and restless too, despite being on the move all weekend at work. He just wanted to start his day, rather than sleep. In the recesses of his mind he was worrying over their funds once again, considering what he would need to do to leave the service. Things are crazy all over the world right now, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and took a step. If I got activated...Mar wouldn't be able to run the house without me now, I can't afford to-!
"Wha-!" Stan's thoughts cut off as he pitched forward into the wall from his side of the bed.
An angry grunt escaped him as he turned around and used his hand to rip off the sheet that had tangled around his foot.
"Stan...what're you doing?" Mary's hooves rubbed at her eyes, while the rest of her leaned up off the bedspread. "Are you alright?" She stared worriedly at him.
"Sorry for waking you up Mar, yeah I just tripped is all." Stan scratched his head annoyedly as he walked around the side of the bed.
Mary looked over at the clock, then groaned and rolled over back under the covers. "It's early Stan," her voice muffled out from under her pillow. "Get back in bed."
Stan grunted back again in reply, but continued out of the bedroom. His eyes looked down as he walked towards the shower, searching out the unexplainable tattoo that now adorned both of his sides. What the hell, that is friggin' embarrassing, I hope Dan never catches wind of this...or anyone for that matter. The water that began pouring from the faucet was blessedly hot, reminding him of the few other things that could use fixing. Well, it's too late in the year to fix anything, maybe I could... He paused as something brushed against the back of his legs.
"What the-?" The sherriff's hand pushed back at the shower curtain that tried to raise into the now steaming shower stall. "I should install one of those shower doors, I hate curtains."
Stan's mind jogged a moment, then managed to get back on track with important matters, made all the easier at finally being fully awake. I need to check on Bobby and Anna right away, if they've gotten these...things, too, then we could be in trouble. He resolved to get Mary to do so during breakfast. If things get anymore interesting around here I'm going to...dammit, I actually still don't have a clue what I'm going to do.
Mary looked up from her salad (she tried to stick to greens most of the time, just to be safe) and lingered on staring at Bobby from across the table.
"...What?" Bobby looked up from his breakfast and creased his brow, looking around himself. His eyes shifted as though looking for what it was that happened to be out of the ordinary. "There something on my face?"
"How've you been feeling, dear?" Mary leaned forward and rested a hoof on the middle of the table, her son stared down at it absently.
"...Fine." Bobby re-busied himself with his pop-tart.
Mary took a quiet breath, stumbling over how to appropriately begin the conversation. It's okay Mary, he's your son after all...just...act natural. She grimaced at her hooves and tucked them under the table, out of sight. "Bobby, your father has gotten a tattoo." That got his attention, her son looked up at her, eyes widened to their fullest.
"You're kidding." Bobby started grinning across at her. "What did he get?" The grin shrank quickly though, and he looked back down at the table just as fast. His long hair obscured his face, but his mother guessed that he was probably scowling...
"It's...a shield with handcuffs, but that's not what's important. We think that..." Mary bit her lip and looked around nervously before continuing. "We think that it might have something to do with the strange things going on. That is, the things that happened to myself and what Anna and Stan are suddenly able to do..."
Bobby looked up and scowled deeper while she spoke, until Mary trailed off and stopped talking. Why does he look so angry? Oh, please don't blame me... She winced as her son stood up quickly and began walking away. "Bobby please, I just want to know you're safe." He walked around the corner and up the stairs wordlessly. "...Sugar." The mare let out a sigh as a result of her son's expedient retreat.
A moment later, Stan walked in from the family room, his civilian jeans and a red t-shirt on.
"Stan, why aren't you in uniform? You have work..." Mary trailed off as he walked around the table and sat down beside her, smiling.
"Ah, yeah, I forgot to mention, I didn't have any trouble getting the day off this time. So, I'll be sticking around, I thought we could spend some time together. Maybe we could have a barbeque or something, too...eh, no meat, if you'd like." Stan made a thoughtful face, then frowned down at the table at her salad.
A giggle escaped Mary and she reached up to pat his cheek gently. "You can't have a barbeque without meat dear, that's very sweet of you though."
Stan smirked back and held her hooves together. I actually haven't taken time off from work to just stay home in...years. In fact, he realized he hadn't acted quite so husbandly as he had of late, nearly so often in quite the while... A frown creased his face as he thought that over. I should have been here more...can't believe I was taking things for granted so much. The odd looking animal-like love of his life rubbed his shirt with one of her hooves, garnering his attention.
"Stan, are you alright?" Mary peered up at him from under her loosely tied hair.
"Yeah, I've never been better." Stan exchanged the frown he'd put on by accident for a smile, then briskly rubbed back at her leg with a hand. He leaned away and let out a tired breath while summoning the courage to deliver the news he'd learned. "Anna said she has a mark too, Mary. If you would, could you confirm that? Girl says that it was a big, spinning white heart." He raised his head from where it had leaned back over his chair and grimly looked at his wife. "With wings."
"Oh God." Mary held a hoof up to her mouth, eyes wide. They began searching around the room, until the large man seated in front of her leaned forward again and hugged her fiercely. "What does it mean Stan!? What are they?" Her hooves tucked themselves defensively over one another in between the couple, cradling herself.
Stan's expression saddened while he calmly smoothed her hair. "I don't know Mar, I don't...whatever they are though, they won't tear us apart, alright? No matter what happens we're a family first, and we'll be there for one another." He held her tighter as she sniffled once and pressed against his chest. "I gotta ask, does this mean Bobby didn't have one?" The sheriff felt a glimmer of hope at that.
"...He wouldn't tell me, I brought up the subject of you and Anna doing those extraordinary things and...he stormed out for some reason. I guess he's angry about getting drawn into this. He was being an absolute little pill about it...I almost can't blame him though, given the circumstances." Mary pushed off of Stan and met his eyes. "There aren't too many mothers that might accidentally rob you of your humanity, after all-"
Stan shook his head fiercely, interrupting her. "It's not gonna be that way, Mar, don't think like that... On that note, did something happen with you and Bobby?" He asked intently, meeting her hesitant gaze. "The boy's been...out of it, lately. Not to mention really cold towards everyone since this all started. What's going on?" His wife's ears drooped before him, a dead give-away that he had hit the nail on the head, he supposed.
Mary's expression wilted while she thought back a few days, after waiting a moment, she spoke. "I don't think he's upset about the pony thing at all, Stanley, he told me as much a few days ago." She frowned and looked up at him coolly. "Embarrassingly enough? Bobby's been upset that the attention has been on me, I think. At least, he as much as said so when he exploded on myself and Herbert a few days ago..." I won't tell him just how bad he did, though. She ran her hoof over Stan's hand, feeling the strange sense of the act absently while she continued. "I get the feeling he doesn't know why he's really angry at us though...and he's just reaching for things. Any mother can figure this out with a little time, I just wish I'd been a good enough one to see it a lot sooner..."
"Mar, don't say that, you're the best any kid could hope to have." An uneasy silence passed between them, Stan reassuringly massaged his wife's shoulder, expecting her to continue. When she didn't, he answered what she'd hinted at. "You meant us, the multiple jobs and when we had to leave the kids at Mom and Dad's for a couple years."
Mary nodded limply, "I never really imagined anyone that young would be so angry over that."
"We did the best we could have Mar, don't dwell on it, please." Stan shook his head and stood up. "I'll talk to him," Mary opened her mouth to interject, but he continued. "Bobby's not entirely unreasonable, it's just been a crazy week is all. It's over now though, we should move on and...persevere." He gently smoothed her hair again, doing his best to hold things together.
Bobby stared blankly down at the strange marking that adorned both of his hips. ...What the heck does this or playing the guitar have to do with turning into a horse? His teeth gritted angrily as he remembered the realization that his talent, might not even be his. It's aaalways gotta be you guys.
"Hey."
Bobby looked up from where he sat on the staircase, listening intently to his parents conversation. His sister looked over the railing at him from the second floor.
"Whatcha doin." Anna smiled, leering at him from on high.
A growl answered her. "As if that's ever been any of your business."
The girl leaned forward, resting on the railing with her arms. "Well excuse me mister grumpy pants, just cause I got to get a tattoo and you didn't, doesn't mean you need to be all angry about it." Anna looked at him smugly, then frowned when a reaction didn't come.
Bobby rolled his eyes and stood up from his improvised seat. "Ah huh." He began walking up to his room to grab his bag. "Nice try brat, I got one too though, lucky me..." It does look pretty bad ass, actually. "I wouldn't brag about that at school by the way, they'd probably call child services and take you away after they find out Mom's turned into a horse."
Anna blew her cheeks out, then relaxed as Bobby strode passed her. "I was just trying to joke around- whatever, you aren't worth my time, jerk." She turned away from him and sprinted past the top of the stairs.
"Yeah well...neither are any of you." Bobby threw on his bag and trudged downstairs, he could already hear Anna's obnoxious voice telling his scheming parents about his bizarre mark. ...I wish things were normal again.
"Mom, I really don't like this!" The son shouted at his steadfast, older parental figure.
"And I already told you that you can't treat her like that! She has needs too you know." The mother firmly planted herself on the porch, glaring for all she was worth at what she saw as a disobedient child.
"This isn't fair..." His eyes squinted back at her, and his arms crossed themselves defensively.
"Well bucko, life isn't fair. Now, are you coming, or are you going to stay here by yourself and mope about it, Stan?"
Stan sighed and relented to Agnes. "Fine, I'll come too," he looked down at a sniggering Mary, doing a poor half-attempt of hiding it.
Their kids had already been dropped off at school by Stan, while a surprised Agnes who had come to do just that, had shown up while he was out and had tea with Mary, instead.
"Are you sure that this is a good idea, Mom?" When Stan arrived home, he was taken off guard by his mother's insistence that she was also there to bring Mary to work, as well as to see if she could drive...
Agnes sniffed and headed down the stairs of the porch towards her car. "Probably yes, probably no, what I do know is that this is what she wants."
Mary trotted after her, and Stan followed closely at her hooves. "Well Agnes, I am kind of sort of reconsidering..." Mary looked up sheepishly from under her lopsided ponytail at the matronly figure, who stopped at the gate and looked back. Her eyebrows climbed from hearing this. "The other day with Faith, I mean...what if the wrong people did find out about me? What could we tell them? I've thought about it a lot, most of the people in this little town would probably hide, even help me. But...we can't be sure."
The older woman leaned down and smiled warmly. "You just let me worry about that sow, Faith, Mary. I convinced Stan here that forcing you to stay home was out of the question, I think I can tell off some busy-body like her." Mary and Stan traded glances, both smirking somewhat from the older woman's bossy attitude.
Mary admitted to herself that Agnes had in fact done as she'd said. Sighing, the mare continued after the old woman and approached the car door. After standing up and opening the car's door, a hand settled on her shoulder. The mare turned to look over at her husband.
"If you would like..." Stan started to say and trailed off, "that is, if you are up to it...you could give driving a shot, Mar."
Mary's face was flat for a moment, before she held her hooves up to her face and her eyes lit up. "You wouldn't mind? Oh, do you think I can!?" Her forelegs flung themselves around Stan's middle, while the man himself wore a worried smile.
Stan wondered to himself if the simple means with which he had just cheered his wife up were worth the possible consequences.
"What's going on out there, hurry up you young people." Agnes rolled down the window from her side of the car, which Mary poked her head into.
"Move over mom, I'm going to give it a shot and drive." Mary grinned wildly over the door, while her mother-in-law put on a guarded look and double checked that her insurance was up to date.
The car rolled backwards out of the driveway steadily, while Stan sat beside his wife up front with Agnes seated in the back.
Mary had the seat pulled all the way forward, which was thankfully enough to allow her legs to reach the pedals. She had realized immediately the biggest difficulty, and perhaps the only one to driving as a pony, would be the lack of feet. In her old body she only need to move her foot to accelerate, now her whole leg had to shift with precision. She also needed both hooves to put the car into drive, one to hold the button and one to shift, but that was minor. They were small changes, but changes nonetheless.
The steering wheel whirled in front of her as she turned it with years of practiced, innate skill. Her hooves grasped it easily enough, and let go of it just as quickly as her hands would have had she still had any. The car ceased moving in reverse, then with both hooves she put it in drive. The power steering corrected the wheel and the car began to pull forward onto the main road, leaving the crunchy gravel of her home's driveway behind.
Oh my gosh, I haven't been this nervous driving since....heck, my first mission over a decade ago I think. Mary gulped as she approached the stop sign. Although I'm not worried about bombs here, just anyone seeing a pony driving an old Ford Fusion.
"I think your new arms might be more flexible than a person's..." Stan spoke suddenly from beside the furred driver.
Mary looked down at herself, then over at Stan and grinned weakly. "I noticed that too, it really makes things that much more confusing huh? I might look vaguely like an equine, but I'm nothing like any that we have on Earth at all." She resettled her eyes on the road, concentrating on navigating the almost straight shot to the highway exit, and the Green Thumb nursery a few miles from it.
"Equine?" Stan asked, "What's that?" Behind him, Agnes began listening out of curiosity.
"It means to resemble a horse, basically, it describes something related to them, I guess... Equus is the Latin word for horse if I recall correctly. While I was looking around online I learned a bunch about horses and ponies themselves. Nothing useful I suppose, but there isn't much I didn't print off and start reading about our versions of them." Mary turned at a green light, ducking her head slightly as another car drove by in the other direction. "Which reminds me, we're still no closer to finding an explanation for this, are we?"
Stan sighed and shook his head from beside her, one of his hands came over to rest on the hoof Mary had draped onto the transmission. The two shared a quiet moment between them.
"Our versions?" Agnes spoke of questioningly from the backseat. "Are you suggesting you've turned into an alien, Mary?" She smiled, but it was fleeting as she considered the possibility. "I wonder why Herbert hasn't suggested that yet..."
Mary suppressed a smile at the thought, then shrugged and glanced back. "That makes about as much sense as anything else, Mom... I dunno, these markings we've gotten might be a clue though, we should try looking up randomly appearing tattoos."
"Tattoos? What tattoos?" Agnes leaned forward more while asking.
Oh, we haven't told her about that yet... "Well Mom, remember when Anna did that breath-taking performance on Saturday...?" Mary traded a nervous glance with Stan, then began to brake after catching a speed zone coming up.
Agnes muttered a yes and Mary continued. "Well, it might be linked to these strange markings that have appeared on...everyone's hips, Stan's, Anna's and even Bobby's. Weirder yet, they're all colorful and cartoony depictions of things they're good at." She gave a short description of her family's butt markings (as Anna had referred to them, mostly to Bobby) to Agnes, who wore a more and more confused look.
Agnes blinked in confusion. "That certainly is strange, I'm not sure I've ever heard of such a thing, at least not appearing randomly... But, if you don't have one, then maybe it's something else and not related?"
Stan let out a sigh and leaned against the car door. "It would be our luck for two completely unrelated, supernatural, cosmic jokes to befall our family. Are we sure Dad didn't just piss off a Leprechaun or something?" All of the family members in the car briefly put on thoughtful looks as they considered the possibility.
They drove for a minute in silence, Stan glad to see that Mary truly hadn't had any trouble driving thus far. I guess I was being a little too overbearing...maybe we should think about getting her a disguise or something at least, or tinted windows in the car... He knew that they weren't illegal in his state, so it was a definite possibility.
Mary spoke up again. "But yeah, there wasn't anything online, so we need to look elsewhere for some answers."
"What exactly did you find? There had to be something..." Agnes frowned at the cup holders from her backseat, trying to piece together an explanation to this for her family from anything she had heard.
Mary sighed, "I mostly found cartoon pictures and other nonsense. A bunch of really poorly done photoshop images were all I came up with, granted I did only look twice..." She turned the wheel and began driving up the short road to the landscaping store her in-laws owned. "The pictures did look vaguely...familiar..." The mare trailed off at the sight of three vehicles parked outside of the store, and she gulped. The car rolled to a stop before making it to the gravel parking lot.
Stan rubbed her shoulder and stared forward. "I don't see anyone, they're probably insi-"
Mary's rushed breathing and squeak of a voice interrupted him. "This was a bad idea, let's go back." Her widened eyes peered over the top of the steering wheel fearfully, while the rest of her hunched down.
"Do you want to?" Stan looked seriously at her. "It's your call Mary...Whatever you decide, we're here to help." He turned his wide shoulders and looked back at his mother, raising one eyebrow, as if to say I told you so.
Agnes chimed in as well. "You really shouldn't stay cooped up Mary...but whatever you want is what we want." She said sagely, and quoted her argument that she had fought with Stan a few days earlier. "Just remember, it's a big place, you'll be fine and out of sight in the store or at the house."
Mary calmed down and stared at her hooves a moment, deep in thought. She'd already worked up the courage to get herself over here in an attempt to maintain her life... Is living as though nothing has changed worth it? Is not letting this beat me so important that I'd put myself at risk? The question poked at her thoughts, and not for the first time. Maybe Stan was right, maybe I am being too stubborn... She frowned down at her back hooves instead, which rested idly behind the cars pedals. Buut, I am now the first pony to ever drive a car... A smirk built on her face at the fortifying thought, and she raised herself up in the seat.
"Mary?" The car shifted into drive, and it began to pull around towards the back of the store. "Alright, I guess we're staying." Stan said defeatedly.
"Oh, don't be such a big baby. If anyone comes after me, just arrest them or threaten them with a ticket." Mary grinned over at her husband and patted his leg coyly, while Agnes laughed from the backseat. "I'm already wearing clothes and eating steak and driving, I might as well continue going to my job like a peoples, too." She put the car in park, and hopped out beside the back of the store. Nearby were the pallets of soil, Herbert's construction vehicles and forklift as well as their other outdoor stock. "Heck, I just gotta switch to online classes and maybe I can still finish my degree."
Mary turned and stood confidently in front of Agnes and Stan, both of whom gave her reassuring smiles in return.
"Well dear, you have our complete and utter support." Agnes knelt down and hugged Mary, chuckling.
Stan's eyes were heavy and worried...but warmed with the love and concern he felt for his wife. "Whatever you want Mar, it's yours, all right? You have my full support, too." He took a step forward as Agnes stood back up, and brushed her hair back over one of her giant ears. Their eyes locked for a moment, in heart clenching love for one another...
When the store's backdoor burst open behind them.
"And you have my axe!" Herbert grinned from around the screen at the rest of his family, then began laughing. Although he was the only one laughing, and the other man and two women were groaning at the tasteless interjection.
"Good morning, Dad..." Stan welcomed his father bitterly. The older man chuckled and walked forward to shake his son's hands. After that, everyone began talking amongst one another. Except Mary, who looked on wanly for a brief moment.
Well, it isn't the life I'm used too...but I think I'll survive. Mary sat on her rump on the dirt, then grimaced when she remembered her overalls didn't cover her tail. Looking back at the thing, she saw that there was now dirt clumped onto her freshly blue and tan hair. Dangit. Her hoof batted at the loose soil. I'll get used to it I guess...I just hope this doesn't last too much longer.
In her old body she only need to move her foot to accelerate, now her whole leg had to shirt with precision.
I don't even know what you meant to say. Oh, and thanks for trolling us about Stan turning into a pony.
Dude, this was an awesome chapter but there are so many grammatical errors. Mostly with wrong words and missing words. Read through it again and double check it. :3
2553479>>2553492
Hehehehe... no spoilers man!
Your welcome, yeah, I'll edit this. I kinda rushed it, heh.
Good stuff. I find this being one of the very few stories on FiM that pulls off Slice of Life in a manner that actually keeps my interest.
Keep up the good work!
2553510>>2553510
hey be easy on the man. he wasn't in his mad state of mind when he was doing his proof reading
2553704
I got three notifications from one comment, wth.
2553711
I posted on your blog. i posted on this chapter. and I decided to join the mad workshop.
3 fold notifications.
the notification system if buggy
2553732
You hit the quote button twice, actually.
2553737
meh, you got your wish thou for me to join the workshop.
Wait, so are cutie marks contagious?
Or will they someday turn into ponies?
2553752>>2553751
Nobody knows!
Join the collabist's group? Sure! Just message me on skype and I can putcha in the chat mate.
(Merlos The Mad with spaces)
Suspicious Dalek is suspicious...
2553759
message sent
edit: it should not take 5 minutes to sen and im message on skype.. what the fudge?!
... think i'm going to go install skype onto my nexus 10....
BAHAHA! love the Lord of the Rings reference there... that and axes are just plain awesome.
Can't wait to see more, Merlos. I'm loving this story.
2553826
Hm...mortals rarely have the gall to utter my name...
Ah, the first pony family on earth... or soon enough anyways.
And Luna will return hmm... interesting.
So awesome
LOL, love the Lord of the Rings reference there. Herbert is a hoot.
2553876
The rest of us just call you Writerdude, Writerdude.
2554064
SILENCE MORTAL, do not speak until spoken to!
(Thanks for reading! )
2554096
Alright, Writerdude, whatever you say.
Knowing Hubert, he probably did piss off a leprechaun or two at some point.
But those debts would have been paid long ago...
I think I know what's happening now.
Mary = Earth Pony.
Anna = Pegasus Pony
Stan = Earth Pony.
Bobby = Draconequus.
Why is this all happening?
Simple.
It's all Discord's doing now.
2554236
That's an interesting chapter. Bobby is taking this much better than I thought, which is nice. But I think he'll now just try to figure this out himself and I hope Anna can keep this thing to herself as well. Then again she did keep Mary a secret so it'll be fine for now. I guess the only true problem and the next logical step is to worry about the populace seeing her.
If you hadn't already given the Internet to somepony else, it would now be yours.
Now my question is whether the people in the store are customers, or investigators of some type or another. Probably the former, but with you, I can never quite tell.
Whether or not they are turning into ponies, it is quite clear now that whatever is happening to Stan and the children is not the same as the initial incident, as the progression is synchronized, but in a different order.
Unless it is in the same order, and it only seems different because Mary doesn't have a cutie mark! I have no idea how much that was a product of my sleep-deprived mind, but I stand by it for now.
You sir, are a total tease. Definitely a tease.
That said, this was an excellent and fun chapter. Not a supremely large amount going on (in terms of earth shattering revelations), although there was one hint that one of my other theories may turn out somewhat accurate, but it was a fun chapter nonetheless. And all the teases at the very beginning left me in a pretty lighthearted mood for the whole chapter.
We move towards a conclusion that I will be excited to see!
2554644
You thought Stan had a tail, didn't you?
i.imgur.com/FeTMc.png
2554605>>2554605
I think I'm going to try and send this fic to eqd again... it was on chapter four the first time I tired. What do you guys think?
Oh...dear...sweet…mercy...HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh yeah, you outdid yourself with this chapter, that for sure. Hehehe, I swear, that Herbert... And, if Luna will be appearing again, it might reveal a little of what is going on with them. But, I'll wait to find out myself, rather than look at that spoiler.
Great job with this!
C&Cs:
It was around five am at the moment...
> Replace ‘am’ with either ‘AM’ or ‘a.m.’.
"How've you been feeling dear?"
> Comma after ‘feeling’.
...I almost can't blame though, given the circumstances.
> Add ‘him’ after ‘blame’.
His wife's ears drooped before him, a dead give away that he had hit the nail on the head, he supposed.
> Combine ‘give away’.
"I'm already wearing clothes and eating steak and driving, I might as well continue going to my job like a peoples, too."
> Correction: ‘person’.
2554792
She said peoples to be sarcastic, (also I like funny words) but ty for the others.
Herbert is the fucking man.
2554784
I'd resubmit it. They give you three chances, after all, and it's entirely possible you just got a pre-reader who didn't like the style. This deserves a feature.
2554820
Aw, thanks viking.
2554812
Okay, I see. And, you're welcome.
2554792
Shit. THEY KNOW. :I ... YE'LL NEVER GET ME LUCKY CHAAAARRRRRRMMMMMSSSS~! *runs away, cackling!*
How long till Mary gets drunk off of salt?
2555408
lOL, OK, I havn't yet, but I'm totally putting that suggestion in a chapter.
2555408
2555420
ohgawd please no.
Salt as intoxicant is just /wrong/
though it probably could, i think your heart would stop first unless the salt was going straight into your spine (also, salt is an extremely important part of your nervous system, and your body tries very hard to keep the levels constant)
I mean, just because that one oldster in that one episode looked drunk and had salt on his face? he could be drunk because salt somehow heightens the effects of booze! or something. Just going 'hurr salt am make pnys drunk' is lame.
2555629
Heh, true. I am a tad tipsy atm though. Almost anything sounds like a good idea.
2553876 Apologies, now I feel like a foal.
Because of reasons. You're the writer after all. Whatever you say goes... at least within your story.
2554784
Oh yes I did, I thought he so had a tail. You done gots meh gud!
When will we see Luna again? After that first little taste of her in the story, I need more. That actually sounds a little sick, but I think you know what I mean.
Why not just use veggie patties instead? Eating meat messes with Mary's gut, sure, but that doesn't mean that she has to forsake the heavenly taste of a burger because it'll make her stomach do a somersault. I think that a family BBQ is in order!
2555741
Hah! I am how do you put it...kidding? I rather like it when you ponies use my persona, I have an ego like that.
2555865
They make such a thi- well.. technically it's not meat, so it still works!
"with sadness" or "with some sadness" or "with some sad feelings"
*was
Missing a period.
"kind of sort of" If "sort've" = "sort have", and I don't see what else it could be, it doesn't make sense.
"the simple means with which he had just cheered his wife up were worth"
*driveway
If the car was moving backwards out of the driveway, how could it pull forward out of the driveway and onto the road?
*than
*elsewhere
Will EQD really read the whole story when considering it? Cause if they don't, they'll probably reject it again, but you never know.
2555879
Prolly, couldnt hurt though, if nothing else at least I get told by the professionals what's wrong with the story!
...
2555885 So far this story is solid. There are some things that could have been "better" or "clearer" to some people, but I think that's just normal variance of subjective opinion. To me, you've struck the right balance between mysterious and wtfbbq.
Btw, Bobby still sucks. Who's with me?!
2555908
*raises hand*
Interesting. If only the kids had cutie marks, I'd say it was proof that Mary had Equestrian blood somewhere in her ancestry and it had somehow come out of being recessive in her generation. However, the fact that it has affected Stan too suggests a magical rather than genetic explanation.
It's also interesting that Mary is an ex-soldier and Stan is a reservist. The possibility of some kind of Evil Military Experiment (tm) thus rears its ugly head but I hope that isn't the case as it is a bit... well, silly. Or sillier than turning into a MLP, anyway.