• Published 8th Dec 2011
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Interview With a Princess - Hoopy McGee



What if you had the chance to ask Celestia any question you liked?

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Questions...

To say that my heart was fluttering was an understatement. What kind of questions would she ask? I wasn’t prepared for this! What could she ask me? What if I sounded like an idiot when I answered her?

As you may guess, I identify most with Twilight Sparkle of all the ponies. We share so many traits, including snapping under any kind of unexpected academic pressure.

“Feel free to ask whatever you like, Princess,” I told her, trying to remain casual and, I’m sure, failing miserably.

"First, I would like to ask... Could you please just call me Celestia? It's not often I get to talk to someone who doesn't just see me as their Princess, and I would like to exploit that fact."

I felt a big grin spread across my face as I said, "Of course, Celestia!"

"Thank you," she said, bowing her head graciously. Then she continued on to her next question. Which was something I actually should have expected her to ask.

“In your letter, you mentioned that you are a ‘human’. Could you tell me more about what a human is?”

“You’ve never seen a human before?”

“No, I haven’t,” she said, neatly eliminating one of the questions I had planned on asking. “I’ve seen many different creatures across many different Realms, but I have never seen a human before today.”

And just as neatly, she gave me a new question to ask! I’d have to find out about these ‘Realms’ before the night was out.

“Well, let’s see… How to describe humans? Well, let’s just start by saying that we’re very… diverse.”

And here, I will spare you the next hour or so of questions and answers as I filled Celestia in on all the details of humanity. Or, at least, gave her a basic summary. As I mentioned before, I’m sure you know as much about humans as you care to, and you don’t need the details of what I told Celestia. I’ll just give you a summary of the summary.

Basically, I told her that we were very diverse, both culturally, physically, and personally. That we ran the gamut of people who were very good, kind and giving, to people that were narrow minded, petty and cruel. But I also told her that, in my experience, most people are kind, tolerant and caring. And, if you disagree with me on that, then that’s your right. But that description fits with most of the people that I know.

I also mentioned, with some trepidation as to what her reaction would be, that most of us are omnivores. Celestia simply nodded at that, and said, “I had guessed as much by your teeth.” Which surprised the heck out of me, I don’t mind saying.

I also talked about the complete lack of magic on Earth, and how we managed to prosper by exploiting science instead. She was very impressed when I mentioned the moon landing, and she looked very fascinated and maybe even a little bit thoughtful when I mentioned that most locations on Earth were interconnected in a gigantic virtual grid we called “the internet”, where we could share stories, music, pictures and art.

Finally, she was satisfied with my explanation of “Humans 101”, and dropped the bombshell question I had been afraid she would ask. Which was:

“Could you explain, please, how you didn’t know that I existed, and yet still wanted to meet me?”

“Ah…” I said, “Hmm… That one… that’s a bit tricky to explain.” I pondered for a moment, and then I launched into my explanation.

“Human beings, you see… Humans are very imaginative, and we love to tell stories. We’ll tell each other true stories about things that have happened, sure, but what we really love to do is make things up completely. Sometimes we make up whole other worlds, just so we can tell stories about what happens in them. And one of the worlds we made up and tell stories about is Equestria."

Celestia seemed taken aback for a moment, and then asked me, “Are you saying that humans created Equestria?”

“Not at all, Celestia!" I said, shaking my head. "Humans don’t have that kind of power, and we have no direct knowledge of other worlds, other realities. But we still tell stories about these things all the time! What I think must have happened is that, in the case of Equestria, we just happened to make up stories about a place that actually existed somewhere... out there."

I gestured vaguely into the distance to indicate what I meant by “out there.”

She nodded and said, “That sounds plausible. However, it leads to still further questions.”

“Yes?”

With a soft smile, she said, “What kind of stories do you tell?”

“That's an easy one!" I said with a laugh, "The set of stories that we tell about Equestria is called ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’. It focuses mainly on the adventures of Twilight Sparkle and her five best friends, as well as her dragon assistant Spike.”

Celestia looked mildly surprised by this. “Humans know about the magic of friendship? And you know about Twilight Sparkle?”

“Yes, although we consider both to be fictional. And, how accurate our stories are compared to your reality, I can’t say.”

“Hmm. Interesting. Would you be able to tell me any of these stories?”

“Actually, Celestia… How about I just show you?”

“Show me? I’m not sure I follow.”

“Well, when I was telling you about our technology, I don’t think I told you about television, did I?”

“I don’t believe so, no.”

“Well, television is… for lack of a better term, a magic box that we can tell stories through, with pictures. Does that make sense?”

Celestia nodded.

"Well, there's a team of people that work together to create these specific stories, and they have one story per episode. Well, usually. There have been a couple two-part episodes. We have this method of making drawings that actually move, and a way to add in voices and sound effects, and we also add in music to heighten the mood."

"That sounds fascinating! I'm having a difficult time imagining what that would all look like, however."

“Then let me show you. I’ll be right back!”

And with that, I stood and rushed out of the room, and into my study. I quickly gathered up my laptop and power cord, and was about to head out when a thought struck me. I went over to my figure collection (mostly video game characters and the like) and picked out the Mane 6, as well as my Celestia figure, and stuck them into a handy box.

The way I saw it, she'd either be interested or amused to see these, or she would be horribly offended. Oh, well. I was going to show her the cartoon anyway. In for a penny, in for a pound!

I rushed back out to the living room and stopped in horror at what I saw. On the couch, completely unconcerned with the dignity of the Princesses’ position, and even less so with her grandeur, our big old gray cat had jumped up and nestled herself in by Celestia’s folded up front leg! Celestia was looking at her with a small smile curling at the corners of her mouth.

“Ah… her name is Nadine,” I told her. Nadine didn’t even crack an eye at me as I came in and said her name. She’d found a warm spot and had no intention of moving. “I can move her, if she’s bothering you.”

“Not a bother at all,” Celestia said graciously. “She’s adorable!” And with that, Nadine graced me with a look that only cats can provide, both incredible self-satisfied smugness and completely indolent relaxation at the same time.

“Well, ok. In that case… Here, let me show you these.”

And with that, I began taking the toys out of the box. I had the molded-hair versions of Twilight, Pinkie and Applejack, and the brushable Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. The Princess stared in fascination as I brought them out. But her eyes widened in what looked like near shock when I pulled out my Celestia figure!

“Is that… me?”

“Yes, or at least the toy based on the animated version of you. That’s… a big part of why the show exists, so that people will want to buy these toys based on the characters.”

“That’s… it’s very odd, seeing something like this unexpectedly.” And suddenly I was very nervous.

“I’m sorry if it offends, Celestia. We only have our imaginations to tell us what you look like. Would you like me to take these away?”

She laughed gently, and said, “No, that’s quite alright. I was just surprised, that’s all. And this… figure of me. It’s very… pink.”

I laughed in return. “Yes, that’s a bit of a sore spot amongst some of the fans. The Celestia in the show is primarily white, like you are. The older fans that watch the show and buy the figures often gripe about ‘pink Celestia’. In fact, many people have repainted theirs white. I’m too nervous about wrecking this one to give that a try, though.”

I left her examining the figures while I hooked up my laptop to my TV and plugged in the power supply. That’s one thing, at least I have a decently large television, though I rarely get to watch My Little Pony on it (the wife, again). I have all the episodes downloaded off of iTunes, though, and soon had everything ready to go.

“The first episodes,” I said, turning to Celestia, “revolve around the return of Nightmare Moon, and Twilight being sent to Ponyville, where she meets her friends and then goes on an adventure to get the Elements of Harmony and stop Nightmare Moon from bringing eternal night.”

I know, spoilers, right? But I figured Celestia was already aware of these events. But the look on her face was wary. Perhaps even a little nervous.

“Are… are you ok with this, Celestia?”

She paused for a moment, considering, and then gave a decisive nod.

“Please, show me.” she said.

I selected “Friendship is Magic Part 1” from the list, and hit play. From the very first moment of the introduction, Celestia was entranced. Her eyes never left the screen, except for once or twice to look at me in astonishment.

I couldn’t help but glance over at her face continuously while we were watching, just to gauge her reaction. At the first mention of her sister, she looked wistful. And, when Nightmare Moon was mentioned in the introduction, she looked both saddened and pained by the memory. During the part where cartoon-Celestia banished her sister to the moon, she was nodding thoughtfully. If I had to guess at that moment, I’d say that Lauren Faust and team had done a pretty good job of capturing the essence of the story, at least from Celestia’s point of view.

Then came the first appearance of Twilight, and I saw the Princess smiling fondly at the animated counterpart of her prized pupil. Then the title song, which startled her. That was the first time she broke her eye contact with the television, to give me an inquiring look.

“They do this as a sort of introduction. They play this opening song for every episode,” I told her. She nodded and returned her attention to the TV.

During the end of the title sequence, there was a brief image of cartoon-Celestia herself. The real Celestia laughed heartily on seeing her animated counterpart. I breathed a sigh of relief. She didn’t seem to find it a bad representation of herself, at least, and she certainly wasn’t offended.

Then the story itself began in earnest. Celestia chuckled constantly throughout the opening minutes of the show. As Twilight was coming into Ponyville for the first time, resolving to finish her official duties as quickly as possible so as to return to her studies of Nightmare Moon’s possible return, Celestia, chuckling fondly, remarked, “It’s as if they’ve captured her very essence!”

The laughter and enjoyment from the couch didn’t stop there. Not being familiar with old-fashioned cartoon tropes, she was completely taken by surprise by Twilight’s first meeting with Pinkie Pie. In fact, I had to pause the show for her to regain her composure, she was laughing so hard!

You know how it is when someone is laughing, and you can’t help but join in? And then the other person laughs even harder, because someone else is laughing too, and then you start laughing harder yourself, due to a sort of insane laughter feedback loop? That’s what happened here. Celestia was laughing so hard at Pinkie’s sudden gasp and springboard into the air that she was literally gasping for breath with tears coming out of her eyes. Nadine gave her a disgusted look and decided to go find somewhere else to curl up and get warm.

That's a scene that will stay with me until my dying day. Princess Celestia, co-ruler of all Equestria and the being responsible for raising the sun every day, laughing uncontrollably on my couch. If I had thought this whole thing was surreal before, then I hadn't known what surreal really felt like.

And for myself, I was slumped in my chair, hands over my eyes, with my ribs aching from laughter. Slowly, we were both able to get ourselves under control. As we wound down, first to chuckles, and then to sighs, she looked me in the eye and said, quite seriously,

“That... was completely ridiculous!”

Well, she wasn't wrong! I nodded, and said, "Well, when it comes to animation, the artists can get away with a lot of things you'd never see in real life. They mostly do it for comic effect. There's an episode later on where Twilight gets an anvil, a piano, and several other extremely heavy objects dropped on her head, and she comes away with no more than a few bruises, all of which are gone a few minutes later."

"Hmm... I see," she replied. And then, "Please, continue." and gestured with a hoof towards my laptop. I hit play, and the show started back up again.

The episode continued, and while Celestia was often amused, the rib-cracking laughter from earlier didn't reoccur. The things she found funny were many of the things that most of us find funny, such as Twilight's Rainblow-dried mane, Fluttershy's awkwardness, and Pinkie's sudden surprise party.

She even noticed Derpy in the background and said, "Why is that pony making that face?"

And here, I sensed a chance to clear something up from the fanon! Derpy's real name! I quickly paused the show and moved back to where you could see Derpy's face.

"Well, the face she's making is either an animation error, or, more likely, one of the artists having a little fun with... Sorry, Celestia, but do you happen to know that pony's name?"

Celestia looked more closely, then shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I don't recognize most of the ponies shown in the background here, let alone that gray one. Though, she does look somewhat familiar."

Sorry, Bronies. It looks like the debate over her name will rage on. However, if the Princess thought she recognized her, at least that means we may one day have an answer!

I started it back up again. After Pinkie's jump and gasp dissolved Celestia's royal calm into hysterics earlier, I was expecting something similar when Twilight drank the hot-sauce and burst into flames. The Princess, however, let that one go with no more than a chuckle.

Then, finally, came the end of the episode. The return of Nightmare Moon. Celestia looked sad, again, and I could only imagine what it must have felt like, seeing her sister, even an animated version of her sister, possessed by the evil of Nightmare Moon. After all, there’s every indication in the show (and in Celestia's current reaction) that the conflict between the sisters and Luna’s subsequent banishment had torn Celestia’s heart in two.

Then, roll the happy music and end credits, which definitely startled the Princess. She frowned slightly.

“Is that all there is?” she asked.

“No, there are plenty of other episodes. This story was just too long to wrap up in a single episode, since they’re all about this same length. There’s one more episode that deals with Twilight and her friends getting the Elements and facing off against Nightmare Moon.”

“Just one more episode, of this length?” She looked very doubtful about that.

“That’s right,” I said. “Oh, and if you’re curious, all the names that are flashing by right now are all of the folks that work on the show, and their titles.”

She glanced back curiously, read a few names, and then said, “Can we watch the next episode?”

“Of course!”

I skipped the rest of the credits (my apologies to everyone who worked so hard on the show, but the Princess had spoken!) and brought up episode 2. Out of long habit, I skipped past the "Previously on My Little Pony" and opening title sequence, and got right into the story itself.

Like the last episode, I kept glancing over to gauge Celestia's reaction. For the most part, her expression never changed from one of complete focus, with a small frown. She was very intent on this episode. As it went on, I sensed a growing dissatisfaction from her, though I wasn't sure of the source.

Then came the end. Twilight discovered the spark that allowed her to access the Element of Magic. Nightmare Moon was defeated, and animated Celestia came in (Celestia herself perked up at this, watching her animated counterpart with extreme interest).

When Luna asked for Celestia's forgiveness, there were tears in the real Celestia's eyes. And mine, honestly, once I saw that. It's one thing watching it when it's "just" a cartoon, but when you see how it affects someone who lived through it, that raises the emotional impact considerably.

Then it was end celebration time, Twilight got to stay in Ponyville, and the end credits ran again. This time, Celestia stopped me from ending the episode early, and actually read the credits, much to my surprise.

Finally, the show ended. Silence fell, as Celestia stared quietly off into some middle distance. I waited for Celestia to collect her thoughts.

After a long moment, she spoke again.

"Was there a reason why they glossed over so many of the hardships that Twilight Sparkle and her friends faced on the way to get the Elements of Harmony?"

I was honestly surprised by the question, and I took a moment to consider my answer.

"Well, Pr... er... Celestia, I would say that they didn't, because they didn't know the actual hardships that they faced. This is all from their imaginations. Also, this show is primarily designed to be watched by younger humans. There's a fine line between telling a story that a child will find exciting, and telling a story that they will find downright frightening. I'm assuming that the journey that Twilight Sparkle and friends faced was much more dangerous?"

"Yes," she said with a firm nod. "I was able to keep Nightmare Moon engaged, but it was a defensive action and a distraction only. In full conflict between the two of us, we would have torn Equestria apart as the sun and the moon themselves engaged for dominance over the sky. My primary focus was to keep her from destroying Equestria, and from bringing her full might against the Bearers of the Elements."

She sighed, and shook her head. "In the end," she continued, "it almost wasn't enough. There were collapsing cliffs and manticores, surely, but there were also greater dangers. Some, from Nightmare Moon and her followers, and many from the forest itself."

Celestia glanced away, and I could see the look of pain on her face as she continued.

"I gave what help I could, but I had to do it indirectly. If Nightmare Moon had sensed my interest in the Bearers, she would have crushed them. As it was, I am sure she just considered them to be an annoyance to be brushed away, like flies. But even with what assistance I could give, by the time they reached the Castle where the Elements were located, they were weary, they were battered and they were bruised, both physically and emotionally.

"It took them nearly a week to arrive at the castle, at which time I believe that Nightmare Moon finally recognized the threat that they posed. She disengage from our battle, and I gave chase, but I was nearly too late. She was preparing what would have been a killing blow, which I was able to deflect in time to give Twilight Sparkle the moment she needed to be able to trigger the Elements of Harmony, and rid Equestria of the Nightmare for all time."

I was impressed. It was starting to sink in, what Twilight and the others had done in going up against an insane goddess. The dangers they faced... I'm not sure I could have done it. No wonder the Princess was upset! The hardships those ponies had faced had been reduced, in her eyes, to a quick jaunt into the forest, a few easily-defeated but not life threatening dangers, and an easy battle at the end.

"There was no insult intended, Celestia," I said. "Those that worked on the show didn't know what really happened on your world. They just... came up with a story that had some parallels, I would say."

She nodded, and said, "I understand that. If your kind can't see across the Realms, then there is no reason to assume that you would ignore those hardships on purpose."

"Frankly, Celestia," I said with a smile, "If we could see between Realms, I doubt we'd ever have to make up stories ever again."

She laughed warmly, and I felt the tension I'd been feeling while watching the second episode melt away.

"Did you want to watch any more episodes?" I asked her.

"How many are there?"

"Let's see, there are another twenty four episodes from the first season, and the second season has six so far." Celestia's visit happened on the Thursday before "May the Best Pet Win" first showed.

"Perhaps later, then. That will take a very long time, and I must get back to Equestria fairly soon." She sounded a bit sad about that.

"Well, I hope you enjoyed the episodes you have seen, Celestia."

"Oh, indeed! They were very amusing! If I had more time, I would greatly appreciate seeing more of them."

Oh, my. Could Celestia herself be a Brony? My inner child was once again doing gymnastics in the jungle-gym of my mind at the thought.

"Well..." I said, trying to sound nonchalant, "you could always come back at a later date and watch more of them."

"Perhaps," she answered with a wistful smile. "But for now, I believe I've delayed long enough. You had some questions you wanted to ask me, I believe?"

My heart leapt into my throat. This was it, what I had been hoping for! I was excited nearly beyond rational thought.

"If you don't mind, Princess."

"'Celestia', please," she encouraged me, "And you may begin whenever you like."

And so, the actual interview began.