November 1st 2023, Wednesday
Mary leaned up out of bed abruptly, a hoof held up to her face and searching for some sign that said she was definitely no longer asleep. The sensation of going from a dream to being wide awake was jarring. One of her solid ended arms smoothed her hair back and felt around her face until she was satisfied that she was, in fact, lucid.
I don't believe it. Mary looked over next to herself at the rest of the bed for Stan, but he wasn't there. I just really, really don't believe it. Except I do.
From the experience Mary had just gone through came the sense of excitement and adrenaline once again. She frantically replayed exactly what had happened and what she had discovered in her thoughts, simply by sleeping. Imagine, finding out that things you had grown up with your entire life, but had been told weren't real, turned out to be just that. It's like some cruel party gag where you're left all alone, but then, everyone just leaps out at the end and yells, surpriiiise.
After a glance, the clock at the bedside claimed it was around seven in the morning.
Mary hurriedly untangled herself from the sheets wrapped around her awkward pony legs, and stumbled out of the bed. She was anxious to do something, anything really. The first semblance of progress towards the goal that she had set a month ago, namely, becoming normal again, had appeared.
"Stan, are you home yet!?" she called out, and dashed through the house, grinning excitedly.
Stan Morris cruised down the rural road, flanked by two empty fields, with bags under his eyes and an exhausted feeling weighing his body down. He had been working for a good eighteen hours, when it had been extended just a little bit longer by certain events during the year's most infamous night for law enforcement: the one before Halloween.
Stan groaned quietly and not for the first time. "Mrrgggh." It was somewhere around seven in the morning; he didn't confirm the time, since even looking over at his truck's clock would require more energy than he had to spare at the moment. His jaw cracked when a sudden, massive yawn overtook him.
"What a night." The words were brought about not only by the unexplainable that had happened, but also from the knowledge that the unexplainable also resided back at his own house.
Just what were you doing out yesterday, Mar? I can't wait to hear the explanation for... The thoughts trailed off and his eyes widened as he saw what was clearly a strange pickup truck in his driveway. After a moment, he recognized it vaguely as Dan's truck. What?
Stan jerked the wheel of his vehicle sharply and pulled in, tires skidding slightly on the gravel as he roared to a halt. "What the hell is going on?" he muttered. "Mar, you'd better be alright, have an explanation, and all of this better be a freak accident."
The worried look Stan had worn almost the entire way home deepened into a scowl, now very concerned over discovering if something had worsened about his wife's condition. Please be alright, Mar. The truck door slammed with the weighty heaviness that often accompanied such vehicles, and he jogged swiftly to the backdoor. He nearly forgot about Dan's vehicle as he unlocked his home.
It was locked, he noted. That's a good sign, at least. The house being secure was a welcome discovery.
Stan's footfalls in the entry hall were heavy, thanks to his thick work boots. "Mar!?" he called out immediately, hoping for a quick response. "Mar, are you awake yet?" After a moment, he called out, "Are you alright?"
The home was lit, all of the lights seemed to be on, and that meant someone was awake.
"Mar—!?" The dining room opened up before Stan as he hurried towards his bedroom, but he stopped there.
"Yikes, not so loud, babe. I've got one hell of a hangover, and it feels like I got kicked in the head by a horse..."
Stan's patrol bag slipped out of his hand and thudded onto the ground beside him. His mouth hung open slightly, while his brain in its tired state tried to process why Dan of all people was actually sitting at his dining room table, eating waffles of all things.
"Morning, boss, so how was work— HEY, WHOA!" Dan flew out the the chair he was seated in, tipping it over. He threw up his arms in a gesture for mercy, to no effect.
The scuffling noise of tipping furniture and Stan crossing the space between them in a blur filled the room. The taller man's hands closed around Dan's button up flannel shirt, then slammed him against the wall he had backed up to. It all happened in the space of seconds.
"Easy, easy!" Dan cried out frantically.
"Explain. Now." Stan growled out, holding the other man against the home's surface. The words he'd managed were all he felt were necessary to be said.
"Ah—" Dan seemed to struggle with coming up with anything like a good explanation, possibly from being held several inches off the ground. "Mary... invited me over for french fries and gravy?" His weak laughter was strangled when Stan hoisted him higher up the wall. Both men were bulky, but Stan had a big height advantage.
"Alright alright! Just a joke! I'm sorry I'm here!" Dan gasped and kicked his legs from the pressure put onto his throat. He didn't want to fight back necessarily, after all he wasn't there to cause trouble, but things were starting to get painful.
Stan eased up ever so slightly.
"I drank too much yesterday, and god dammit Stan, I saw her! I know what I saw! If that thing—" Dan's voice was cut off again as Stan returned the pressure. "Gak—!"
"Careful." The bulky man warned the other, slightly less bulky man.
"Alright! If—" Dan panted, talking while fighting for breath. "I know that was Mary, there is no if, that was her voice. I dunno man, I just, I couldn't help but figure I could just drop by and find out. It was bugging me, I shouldn't have drank so much, I'm sorry!" Suddenly his tip-toes were no longer fighting to keep him steady, and he was back on the ground with a thud. "Jesus."
"God dammit, Dan." Stan backed up and ran a hand over his head, still wearily watching his friend. "So what, that excuses you trespassing?"
Dan looked up from where he bent over panting. "What? No, no that's not it man. I don't remember anything. Heck, I passed out on your lawn as far as I can remember, then I woke up in your basement. Dang... sorry about the door by the way, it was locked and I had to use the bathroom bad."
Stan deadpanned down at his deputy and suppressed the urge to just strangle him again. Maybe it was how tired he was, or maybe it was that his wife could've been in serious danger, or even that he was learning about property damage, but he was still a twinge upset. "Alright," he glanced over briefly at the half eaten waffles on the table. "So you made those? You haven't seen Mary?"
The room became quiet. Stan looked over at the deputy that wasn't answering him to find the other man looking up at him seriously.
"Yeah, I was hungry for waffles," Dan replied. Another long pause entered the room. "Stan, what's going on?" he asked finally, in one of his incredibly rare moments of seriousness.
"It doesn't include you, brother. Do us both a favor and just get out of here." Stan sighed heavily and leaned back against his table, folding his solid arms sternly.
Dan stared back at his boss for another few seconds, then shrugged. "Whatever, it isn't any of my business, sorry for going back on the understanding we had the other day. You know how I am after a few beers," he heaved a sigh of his own. "Alright, well—"
Stan watched as Dan's eyes widened into a semblance of horror struck surprise, and heard the sound of something solid thundering through a nearby room with a steady clop clop noise. He had—over the last month—come to associate that noise with whenever his wife was coming nearer in the house.
"Stan, are you home yet!?"
"I don't believe it." Dan's jaw dropped, at the same time Stan turned around and grunted his dismay at the sudden turn of events.
Mary was standing in the doorway, "Oh good you're home, and Dan's still here I forgot about that. Excuse me."
Stan watched Mary back up slowly without pretense for any kind of a reaction at all. His own body failed to react as well, to be fair, except for the sweat that immediately began to coat his hands; he looked back at Dan.
Dan was doing his best impression of an angler fish. His eyes slowly slid over to stare at Stan's, the look of disbelief he wore not fading. The two stood there staring at each other, neither moving or trying to speak again just yet. The sound of Mary screaming obscenities for a brief moment made them flinch, though.
In the two men's minds thoughts paraded through each, and they were serious ones. Stan considered just what his deputy would do, and didn't exactly know if he trusted him. When the average person that knew Dan was asked whether they trusted him, they would typically answer, 'not as far as I could throw him'.
As for Dan—who had been driven to drink after his last meeting with the little dream horse—he was entertaining a myriad of thoughts of his own. They ranged from why Stan had married a horse, true to his humorous side, and if he was going completely insane.
Herbert strode past them both, yawning, and carrying a twelve pack. "You statues going to kiss or what?" The older man nonchalantly entered the kitchen the two law enforcers half blocked.
Stan blinked and looked over at his father.
"Who's that?" Dan asked, leaning further back from Stan.
"Father," Stan answered simply.
"Oh," Dan muttered. He tried and failed to back further away from Stan. "Seriously now, can I just go?"
Stan settled his grim stare on Dan, but didn't speak.
"Oh, if it isn't little Daniel!" Agnes strode up and pinched Dan's cheek roughly. "Hello dear, so nice to see you again, it's been a while." She laughed, then confronted his bewildered expression. "Well don't tell me you've forgotten Stan's mother!?"
Dan massaged his bruised cheek. "Ah, no, how could I forget."
"What are you doing?" Stan didn't break his stare at Dan. "For that matter, what are you all doing here at all?"
"What am I doing? A better question, is what are you doing?" Agnes tsked and took up a stance with her hands on her hips. "And we're here because a patrol car wrapped up in trees or something was on the news this morning!"
Stan grunted and glanced over at his far shorter mother. "Mom, he saw Mary-"
"He's still a guest in your home, comere." Agnes made to tug on her son's ear, but couldn't reach and settled for his arm. Her son reluctantly followed to stop a few feet away. The old grandmother whispered in a hiss up at him, "Staring at Daniel like you're going to bury him in the backyard isn't going to help anything, Stan. Obviously we shouldn't just let him go either, but as long as he's here too we might as well fill him in."
"And what if he goes to the news with this? What if this is the end?" Stan sighed the words out, his mind felt like a lead weight from the rough night. The things at stake were the only crystal clear picture he could hold onto.
"It won't come to that, but if it did, I imagine we'd run." Agnes scowled up at him. "I'm not going to entertain your downbeat thoughts kiddo, we bring him into the loop and go from there." She rubbed a hand on her son's shoulder and glanced at the deputy.
"Can I go now?" Dan quipped from across the room, noting the way Stan stood in front of the doorway. A hand tapped his shoulder, and turned to see an old man holding a beer up standing behind him. "..."
Agnes and Stan returned their attention to one another.
"Stanley, I don't know Dan, you do. If you think letting him go will be a big problem, then we'll go and get things ready..." Agnes leaned her head on one hand and looked up at Stan sadly. "Or is bringing him into the loop plausible?"
Stan remained quiet for a moment, then looked over at Dan again, who returned the stare with an equally cold look. "No, you're right, we'll play it by ear." He walked through the house and went to find Mary, who he guessed was probably in the bedroom.
Mary shouted back out of the door. "No, I'm not opening it!"
"For Pete's sake Mar, just let me in." Stan leaned tiredly against the door, and nearly fell when it opened suddenly. He caught himself on the doorway and looked down at Mary, who was enshrouded in a sheet.
"I screwed up Stan, I should've just put him back out in his truck, and now he's seen me, again! And-" Mary cut off and bit her lip forcefully.
Stan had knelt down and put a hand on her neck, smoothing it soothingly. "It'll be fine Mar, you did the right thing I think... Complicated stuff like this was bound to happen sooner or later, regardless." He shut his eyes for a moment, feeling the weighted heaviness of his exhaustion pressing on him.
"Hey, I have really good news though, too. Oh...and really bad news now that I think about it..." Mary tapped her hooves against one another, thinking carefully about how to share everything she had learned. "Uhm, first though, and it kind of ties into the bad news, but I don't think Bobby should go to school today."
"Why's that?" Stan asked warily, already he'd formed a few theories about why Mary had trashed that patrol car.
"It's a long story... More importantly, I have a lead about what caused all this." Despite still being tired, not yet showered, and plagued by bedhead, Mary smiled widely and pressed her hooves against her face blissfully. "I know it sounds crazy, but listen to this-"
Stan held up one hand to his head. "I... That's great Mar, I'm sorry though I've been awake forever right now I'm running on fumes. Can I go get some coffee first, and sort out Dan at least?"
"I'm not going out there." Mary frowned and began shaking her head vehemently at Stan. "At least, I don't want to..."
Stan chuckled, "I'm not asking for you to do that, suffice to say I still don't think Dan cares that much. I walked in when I got home and he was just sitting there, eating waffles..."
Mary squinted one eye and raised a confused eyebrow. Who does that? "Okay...well, once he's gone I'll bring everyone up to speed, I guess I'll take a shower first and...uhm, oh I'll let the kids sleep in I guess." She knew that if either her or Stan didn't wake them up they'd not question it and would stay in bed regardless.
Stan straightened and stood up, "Alright then, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." His tired thoughts trudged through the fog around his brain. "Oh, Mom and Dad are here, too. I dunno they just showed up, I guess your stunt last night is on the news."
"My stunt? Uhm, what stunt?" Mary asked earnestly.
Stan raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Were you not out last night? A squad car got torn up like a tin can by some plants, I don't know many x-men around here, so what happened last night? For that matter, are you okay?"
"Oh, oh!" Realization dawned on Mary. "Yes, I'm fine, but noo, of course that wasn't me." She put on a smarmy grin. "By the way I read an article the other day about how ornery those grape vines can get around this time of the year, strangest thing."
Under Stan's darkening look, the pony smiled sheepishly back up at him, ears laying back against her head. "Mary..." Stan folded his arms and gave her a worried look.
Mary sighed and sat down on her rump defeatedly. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised you found out about that, yeah I- I didn't mean to do it. Was anyone hurt?" She nervously watched her husband.
"Some bruises and a sprained wrist, a wrecked patrol car too, but that's great considering how old ours are getting." Stan smirked at Mary. "So that was you, and Bobby had something to do with it. He was at that party last night?
Mary hesitated, then nodded solemnly. "I don't know all of the facts myself, yet, but we'll have to talk about it."
Stan got the feeling he was going to be doing a lot of talking, and at the moment all he felt like doing was a lot of sleeping.
"So..." Dan scratched a hand over the three day stubble his face sported.
"So!" Herbert replied, a cheerful tone in his voice. He folded his hands over one another and grinned across the table at the younger man.
Dan shrugged and held up his hands. "I give, am I going to get an explanation or not? It's not a really big deal either way. I get the feeling you guys don't want to say, actually."
"What makes you say that?" Herbert quirked an eyebrow and smiled wider.
"Well," Dan began, shifting his eyes over to Stan as he walked back in, then to Agnes who was sitting at the other end of the table. "Stan just about killed me when he saw me, granted this is the first time I've ever been inside his house, but it wasn't the kind of reaction I'd expected. Mary's the reason for it, not me, right?" He sighed and looked over at Stan, not wanting to ignore the elephant in the room, so to speak. "Look, Stan, I owe you a lot, I probably wouldn't have a job right now if it weren't for you and anyone else wouldn't give me nearly as easy a time as you do." Standing up he walked over to his boss and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "I don't say nancy crap like this often, but if you need me to keep this a secret you can count on it, I'm over how freaky it is. Also, that paranormal nerd shit isn't for me anyway so I don't really care anyway, it's your business brother- Is he asleep?"
"No I'm awake." Stan inhaled deeply and opened his eyes again, the bags that were under them were nearly an inch long and as dark as soot. "It was a long night, Dan. Giving you the day off meant someone had to cover the radio for a few hours. That someone was me."
"You should get some sleep, dear." Agnes started, rising up out of her chair.
Stan shook his head, then Dan's hand. "In a minute Mom-" He cut off when a voice called out from the hallway.
"Everyone look away, I'm going into the shower!" Mary's voice came around the corner as an angry warning.
Dan blinked in confusion, but turned away, only catching a glimpse of a pony in a bathrobe from the corner of his eye. This is too weird, whatever she caught, it better not be contagious.
Stan sighed again and started anew from where he stood between Dan and the doorway. "Dan, I'm glad to hear all that, but just listen for a minute, okay?" At his deputy's nod, he continued. "It's my wife, my wife. You know how big that is, right?" Another nod. "Then you should listen to what happened, what we've gone through the last month."
Stan paused a moment looking solidly at his deputy's face. Dan had a growing look of concern on his own. "I do trust you, I'm not worried about that, but I want you to understand it isn't something that effects anyone but us. You catch my drift?"
"...Not really?" Dan crooked his mouth and scratched his head. "Boss, use smaller words."
"He means that Mary isn't radioactive and a danger to the good citizens of Belsdale, Dan." Herbert added in, sipping his drink. "Your beer's getting warm by the way."
Dan cursed and leaned over to snag his drink. "Shoot, actually I hadn't even thought of that. Stan I'm not the type to worry about this sort of thing. I have two things on my mind, getting paid and tail-"
Stan stepped in again. "That's my other concern, I'll just throw it out there, Mary could be worth a lot to the wrong people like this."
The room grew quiet, A bead of sweat trickled down Dan's face. "Oh."
"Yeah, oh."
Agnes piped in with a consoling voice. "Stanley..." The three men looked over at her. She took a deep breath before continuing. "Are we handling this right?"
Stan made a look of fixed frustration and surrender. "Well what else am I going to-" The tall Irishman grunted and leaned back against the doorway, exhausted eyes stuck on the floor.
"Aw come on, this isn't a big deal is it, you guys make it sound like you want to off me so I don't go to the news." Dan shrugged, laughing nervously and raised both eyebrows at Stan. "That's ridiculous, everyone knows no one believes anything the news says anymore!"
"Daniel we would do no such thing." Agnes put a hand on the deputy's arm.
Herbert cracked his knuckles and coughed. "I dunno, he drank the poison in that beer already..." The other three people in the room all looked over at Stan's father, after a moment of silence the older man burst out laughing. "Joking, just joking."
Dan gulped, then set the half empty beer down on the dining room table. "Look, no one would believe me anyway. Besides-" He scrubbed a hand behind his head, at a loss for what else to say. "Dammit, I'm no good with words, boss. What the hell else do you want me to reassure you with?"
Stan thought the request over for a good minute, until he finally made a decision.
"You want me to what?" Mary asked through the bathroom door, drying her mane and coat furiously with a bath towel.
Stan leaned on one arm again against the door and repeated himself, a little louder than before. "You heard me Mar, I want you to come out here and tell him some stuff about what we've been through. He's already seen you, we need to make sure he's on our side."
"No! Why— That's silly, he already said he doesn't care so shove him out the door already." Mary huffed and threw done the towel before re-wrapping herself up in the tailored bathrobe. "You don't really think he would, do you?"
"Tell someone? Maybe when he's drunk, but I dunno. It could help to have someone else in the loop though, Mar, even if it is Dan." Stan glanced back at his parents and Dan, who seemed to be eyeballing another beer that Herbert was handing to him. "Speaking of which Dad's busy bribing him right now, too."
Mary cracked the door open and poked her pony nose out. "Well good, let Dad bribe the oaf and let that be the end of it. I still need to tell you about Luna and her little ponies!" After the words escaped her mouth she felt how silly the sentence had been in the air itself.
Stan pushed the door open a little wider. "What?"
"My dream last night Stan, and we need to talk about Bobby too." Mary frowned sadly at Stan with the new topic in the air.
Stan gave his wife the most serious look he could. "Alright we will, after you talk to Dan though. I know him Mar, he's a lot less likely to say anything if he hears this from you." The two stared at one another, a scowl forming on and wrinkling Mary's muzzle.
"Eerg, you are insufferable, you know that!? Fine, but I'm getting dressed first- LOOK AWAY!" Mary stormed out of the bathroom past her husband. "I want a BLT too, or no deal." She walked on her hind legs, stomping her path all the way back to the bedroom.
Behind Mary, despite being told otherwise, Dan had stared, in a rather disbelieving fashion. In the quiet, he looked over towards Herbert and whispered, "Was she like that before? The attitude I mean."
"I heard from Stan that she locked him out of the hotel room during their honeymoon because he brought his sidearm with him to clean it," Herbert whispered back through clenched teeth. Dan snickered back, failing at not being heard throughout the room. Agnes rolled her eyes and walked away, busying herself with making Mary a tasty bacon riddled sandwich.
Mary took a deep breath, then stepped out into the dining room towards what she hoped was going to be a very simple affair. Just explain things, make the sob story good and then shoo him off. She looked up at Stan who was waiting at the doorway.
"You alright, Mar?" Stan asked.
"Yeah, peachy." Mary managed to smile, the sight of her beleaguered husband made her heart melt a little. It made going along with his admittedly logical idea a little easier, being able to feel sorry for him. She popped up on two legs briefly and smoothed her sundress, kneading the wrinkles out nervously. "Let's just get this over with dear."
Mary's hooves carried her into the dining, where waiting to stare at her was... no one. Her face scrunched into a heated look. "Ahem?"
Dan and Herbert looked over, the father-in-law spoke first. "Oh, hello Mary."
Stan's eyes narrowed at his father. "Dad, take it easy on those."
Herbert waved a hand, "Tell that to your friend, I said these beers were poisoned and he's still had three of them."
Dan nodded gratifyingly to himself. "Yeah, it's only eight in the morning too, new pershonal best."
"Exactly," Stan plucked the drinks from the table. "It is only eight in the morning, also, how exactly do you plan on getting home, drunk? Mom, why didn't you stop them?"
Agnes poked her head out of the kitchen at hearing insane amounts of giggling from two grown men and her name. "What? I've been in here Stan, weren't you watching them?"
Stan groaned, then glared at his father. I didn't think I had to.
Mary watched on from the doorway, halfway between ready to just leave and halfway towards wanting to gallop up to the two blockheads in her dining room and buck them both in the side. "Now look," Everyone did. "I have put up with the lion's share of crazy the last twenty four hours, and have just been drug out here to try and convince someone who's somehow already drunk that I'm worth keeping a secret! Is anyone going to take this seriously?" She finished by trotting up to the dining table and taking a seat at it, glaring at Dan.
"Hey, I'm not drunk, it was just three beers, yeesh." Dan leaned back and folded his hands on his stomach. "I don't think I need to hear anything, Mary." Dan glanced over at Stan. "You have my word I won't say shit to anyone, it's not my business anyway. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was coming by yesterday to apologize for not giving you your ticket."
Everyone stopped and thought about what Dan had last said for a moment.
Herbert spoke up again first. "Well that's drunk logic for you-"
"Helloooo, is anybody home? Sorry I let myself in, it's just me, Marge!" A sing songy feminine voice called out from the front of the house. "Tonight's the day after Halloween and I read online that for curses, if you-" The sound of a piercing squeal as the woman's eyes locked onto the frozen orange mare filled the house. "It's a PONY!"
Mary growled and stood up out of the chair, then shrieked out, "WOULD SOMEBODY LOCK THE FREAKING DOOR!?"
"So, Stan's wife has been cursed somehow to look like a multicolored miniature horse?" Dan drawled out disinterestedly, the bouncing and constant giggling coming from the fat older woman beside him proving to be a great deal more distracting than the cursed horse woman sitting across the table from him. "And apparently you also met a horsey dream god that looks like you, has wings and a horn, on top of possibly being involved in this somehow?"
Mary nodded slowly to Stan's deputy, they had spoken at length about Dan keeping things to himself, as well as Marge. The older woman who had just arrived however, was having trouble remaining calm enough to give off any semblance of actually paying attention. Suffice to say they had just gone ahead with explaining everything from there.
"Princess Luna! That was Princess Luna!" Marge cackled out in response to Dan's summary.
Agnes poked the other woman in the shoulder for the eighth time. "Would you act your age? We'll get to you and why it is you know all of this already in a minute."
"I told you! I told you, it's because it's from a TV show from a decade ago, 'My Little Pony'!" Marge couldn't help but keep her eyes glued to Mary the entire time they had been together in the same room.
"Shush." Agnes clapped a hand over Marge's mouth. "Honestly." She sighed and shook her head, then let go. "What would a TV show have to do with this, anyway?"
From the other side of the table, Herbert suddenly groaned, then scrunched up his face in a thoughtful look. He bent over to the side of his chair and reached into a bag, returning with a notepad that seemed to have a copious amount of writing on it. He flipped through it until coming to one page, then tore it out and crumpled it up into a ball.
Mary frowned, looking away from the woman that had found her way into her house uninvited. "What was that?" She asked Herbert, confusion painting over her frustration.
"List of theories about what caused this, suffice to say you jumped the shark on this one, though I did have alternate universe and a few gods on here—" Herbert got as far as tossing the ball of paper into a nearby waste bin before getting interrupted.
"Dad, I'm being serious here!" Mary thunked a hoof on the table, causing Marge to grin again and stare at it.
"So am I!" Herbert shot back, throwing up his hands. "Heck, I've been so serious about things I've even been hunting a physician we could trust that would be open to having a look at you." He stuck a serious look at Mary.
"I— Really? What for?" Mary blinked in surprise.
Herbert traded looks with Agnes, then the grandmother sighed and spoke up. "It's just in case Mary, Herbert brought up some good points, we don't know what's happened to you, but we know things keep happening around you... He went looking for what he said would be, 'a doc that was nerdy enough' that could help if we ever did have any complications. Could you imagine if you broke a leg and we had no one to turn to?"
"Mom," Mary shook her head and scoffed. "I'm easily four or five times as strong as I used to be." She let out a laugh and flexed, "Stan even tried wrestling me the other week and got more than he bargained for."
Agnes raised an eyebrow over at her son.
"What, she started it." Stan crossed his arms and leaned back defensively in his chair. Mary responded by sticking her tongue out across the table at him.
Herbert chuckled. "Ah, wrestling, is that what the kids call it these days?"
The room was silent, until Dan broke out laughing from where he'd been relegated to the corner.
"DAD!"
"Herbert!"
"Dad..."
"Donkey!"
Herbert grinned around at his family after answering them, then sighed when disapproval was still glared his way. The man looked up absently at the ceiling, reveling in the gasps and shouts detailing his poor taste in jokes from his family. It took a minute, but they finally calmed down enough he could speak without talking over somebody. "What? Why's that a big deal? She's still my daughter-in-law and your wife, Stan."
Stan pressed his hands against his eyes and repeated himself. "Dad..."
"In the eyes of God, do you think she's any different now than she was?" Herbert asked seriously, a light smile on his face.
Stan rolled his eyes. "That's not the issue at all. Can we just not talk about that in public?" There was no question on anybody's mind about what Stan meant by say 'that'.
Stan put a hand on Mary's shoulder, who was busy trying to melt under the table and hide the blushing that had engulfed her face.
Herbert waved a hand and sighed. "Alright, alright, I just don't want you to waste your youth is all, kiddos. Why, if I still had a few years of it left you can rest assured that—"
That had probably been the final straw for Agnes, because she'd stood up at planted a fist down on top of Herbert's head forcefully. "That's enough out of you, dear." When he protested she pulled one of his ears as well.
A heartfelt 'aaaw' from Marge broke the silence that was left in the room by Herbert's shenanigans. She looked around, surprised when everyone turned towards her. "What? It's adorable, true love despite insurmountable odds! Eeee, and Mary's adorable too! Mary, can I-?"
"No." Mary replied simply. "You can't." She didn't want to chance what the question had been about to be. After a moment she leaned forward on the table, steepling her hooves and peering over them. "You can get to explaining what 'My Little Pony' has to do with this, though. I remember that show now. I remember people in the military carrying around the little dolls of it even."
Stan raised an eyebrow over at her. "What, downrange?"
"Yeah, I didn't get it either." Mary shrugged back at her husband.
Agnes sighed and leaned on one arm over the table. "You know, I remember My Little Pony, but that was way back in the eighties, wasn't it? Why, I used to have a box full of those little things—"
Marge was waving her hands vehemently and looked as though she were about to burst from what she was trying to say.
"What. Marge." Mary sighed and asked finally.
"No! Not that one, this was way newer, only thirteen years ago or so. I don't know what it has to do with this, but everything you just described down to some of those names is from the show! I promise you." Marge grinned around at everyone in the room, except Dan, who was pointedly trying to ignore all of what he considered to be fairly pointless.
This is the one time I regret having a drink. Maybe I can sneak out... Dan eyeballed the doorway. Dammit, where are my keys?
"You're serious?" Mary said, a lighter tone entering her voice. "So I may have turned into something from a TV show, what's the connection?" Stan groaned, from where he stood beside his wife. "Stan, go to bed. I'm fine on my own, now."
The big man shook his head and squinted into the room's blindingly bright lights. "I don't need sleep just yet..."
"Mom, put your son to bed already, Dan's too drunk to go anywhere and Marge is more likely to pet me than ruin our day." Mary's tail began to flick erratically behind her, while Agnes managed to start dragging Stan away from the room by pinching his sides, despite the man's protests.
"Oh my gosh, can I!?" Marge's manic grin returned in a flash at the very thought, while Dan's protests of soberness sounded off just beneath that.
Mary glared across the table at them both "No! To you too, Dan. You're lucky you didn't crash last night, go start a barbeque if you want to do something. At the rate we're going we'll be here all day anyway." Glancing at a clock, it was already lunch time. I should probably go wake the kids up...
"Oh, I like that idea." Herbert took his feet and propped them up on the dining table. "What?"
"Dad, come on, you're not helping." Mary felt as though she were herding cats. I think I preferred the nightmares, this is way more unbearable.
Herbert harrumphed from his side of the table. "Anyway, I can't believe we didn't catch that there was something that might explain all of this. Mary, didn't you say that you researched this, looked through the internet several times? It sounds like you gave up too soon."
Mary through up her hooves and growled. "Yes! I told you, all I found were a bunch of fictional stories and absolutely nothing about this happening in real life. Real. Life. Not fiction, nothing fake could help with this!" A heat bloomed in her cheeks while Marge and Herbert raised eyebrows at her.
"You should've shown me this a month ago, dear." Marge chided, laughing and standing up. "Now, can I pleasepleaseplease touch your mane? Just once!?"
"No!" Mary leaned away from Marge further and tried to fend her off with a hoof, until finally her chair toppled over sideways; the room erupting into a plethora of curses and shouting. Most of the curses came from Mary.