Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Dungeons and Discords

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher

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Dear Princess Celestia,

Discord is kind of getting a little too clingy. So if you don't mind and all...

Get your thousand year-old fat-ass off of that stinking throne and find a fucking way for me to avoid Discord for a Celestia damn while!!! Because guess what, sassafras? You have to make yourself fucking useful for once you lazyass cunt!!!!

Very Very Pissed,
Fluttercruel Opposite Fluttershy

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Dear Big Mac and Spike,

Sorry we couldn't join this week. Taking care of our children is a pain in the ass.

Your manly friends,
Shining Armour and Mr. Cake

P.S. Nopony had better used the infinite-sided dice. Chaos would surely occur if that fell into the wrong hooves.

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Dear Discord,

So, would Twilight turn into a succubus if she entered the game?

Perplexed,
Spike

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Dear Discord,

Fus!!! Ro!!! Dah!!!

-Big Mac

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Dear Splatoon,

One of your squid rejects is in this episode. Please take it back.

Your interdimensional draconequus,
Discord

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My dear Discord,

Allow me to tell you how impressed I am with your latest achievement with Big Macintosh and Spike.

You have removed one of the annoyances that prevented me from approaching tabletop role playing games. I've always preferred the interaction and dexterity required by video games anyways. Take Broom 4 for example. If I'm in some demon's face with a shotgun, no way in Tartarus am I going to roll a 20 sided die to see if my shot connects.

And now you have gone and made it even better than gaming with consoles.

I would love to join you for your next Guy's Night. And not to worry, I would not spoil the sacredness of the event, so I will be arriving with a futanari spell active.

Sincerely,
Princess Luna

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Dear Squizard,

For the last time... My name is not Princess Shmarity. It's Starlight Glimmer!!! How the fuck did my bedroom turn into a dungeon?!?!

Confused,
Starlight Glimmer

Author's Note:

Comments

[RIPoste]

ASTERIX AND OBELIX!!!!! I miss that comic.

[Tchernobog]

rather than Obelix, really~

[PiMan]

I see what the picture is saying about Pinkie, but I don't think it's correct. I'm not sure what the actual reference is though.

[WanderingPony]

7579891

Asterix and Obelix, a French comic that's been translated internationally. Pinkie's the big-boned one. Suppose that'd make AJ Asterix. ?

[Vigriff]

Opposite Fluttershy is right Celestia. Lol Gravity Falls reference. Ugh, futanari spells.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Squizard,
For the last time... My name is not Princess Shmarity. It's Starlight Glimmer!!! How the fuck did my bedroom turn into a dungeon?!?!
Confused,
Starlight Glimmer

Ah, so THAT'S what happened to Starlight. Well, I guess now Twilight's going to have no choice but to let her leave the castle whenever Discord comes around.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Dear assholes,

You told me you were doing fantasy roleplay with guys and tentacle monsters, and I cut my trip short just to find you were playing some stupid nerd game???

Thanks for nothing.
-Twilight.

[Neko Majin C]

Dear Fax Machine,

derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/9/15/1249616.png
You have a magical Ogres and Oubliettes LARP and do not invite me? I was right outside the whole time! What the hell, you douche gobbler? Did you not want another level thirty wizard making you look bad? I will have you know, my level thirty wizard's powers are unmatched by even the most cunning of sorcerers. I may not be as powerful as the fabled level forty wizard, Andy Stitzer, but our characters could have complimented each other. Do you know how dangerous it is to play Ogres and Oubliettes all by yourself outside? I spent all day polishing my wizard staff. If that thing would have gone off around anyone, I do not think Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle would have bailed me out of jail this time. Luckily no one was around, so no one saw the magic erupt from my staff.

Signed our Mistress' favorite and most loyal slave, who is not at all mad, here, would you like some sweet cream covered gems?
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.

[Iron Comet]

Starlight Glimmer would have been hilarious showing up dressed as Princess Zelda.

[NobodieZ]

P.S. Nopony had better used the infinite-sided dice. Chaos would surely occur if that fell into the wrong hooves.

Points for using a Gravity Falls reference.

Dear Nick Confalone,

Why the buck did you spend so little time in the world of Ogres & Oubliettes? There was so much potential for a funny and epic story.

Annoyed,
The Brony Community

Dear MLP Staff,

How dare you have squid with magical powers on your show and not name him after me?!

Pissed Off,
squirk, a classic G1 my Little Pony villain

[Alex Warlorn]

Fluttercruel Opposite Fluttershy

I guess I should feel honored. :-)

[zalla661]

All the greatest fantasy references. It pleases me. These letters get more ludicrously funny as I read them. Can't wait for the CMC Gabby letters...

[articunos bitch]

Dear Big Mac and Spike,
Sorry we couldn't join this week. Taking care of our children is a pain in the ass.
Your manly friends,
Shining Armour and Mr. Cake

That works.

I would love to join you for your next Guy's Night. And not to worry, I would not spoil the sacredness of the event, so I will be arriving with a futanari spell active.

Uhh...Twist approves.
And Pinkie turning into a bard, while Dash is a rouge? They ripped that from a JonJoseco picture. DHX says they don't take ideas from fans my ass.

[General Lemarc]

7600964 You did kinda make her a thing