• Member Since 8th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen May 17th, 2023


Fimfic's favorite painkiller, editorial writer for Equestria Daily, and a blog author for Equestria After Dark.


Princess Celestia is losing control of her political power. The system is slowly crumbling due to the inverse relationship between harmony and "freedom". With the invitation of television sets, the internet, and instant coffee machines, "freedom" becomes the preferred theme of the Celestian empire as opposed to harmony.

With no other options (or perhaps due to a stroke of genius), Princess Celestia brings a self proclaimed expert on "freedom" to Equestria along with his entire family to create a new show with familiar roots: The Coltbert Report.

How will his family handle the new Equestrian life? Will Stephen Coltbert be able to return harmony to the land with his mixture of satire and wit? Only time and hundreds of episodes will tell.

Join Stephen Coltbert as he provides the conservative viewpoint on Equestria so that you don't have to.

Cover art by Stinkehund.

Featured on Equestria Daily: 1/16/2013

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 282 )

And now a collab between you and Daily Show Ponies would be perfect.

Interesting premise. If you can pull of Colbert's satire and wit, I can guarantee that this story will indefinitely be featured! :eeyup:

1932422 Message sent, as per your request.

The great thing about this is that "Coltbert" is pronounced the same as "Colbert." The T's are silent.

I recommend the center tags for your breaks.

I haven't read this yet and I already know this is going to be incredible.

Stephen Colbert literal crossover? Sign me up!:pinkiehappy:

I was planning on doing just ponified versions of the shows, but I found that I would get bored of this very quickly. It's called a prologue because the meat of the story isn't there yet. The first chapter of your fiction is very well done, but not something that I want to rinse, lather, and repeat. Variety is the spice of life and status quo is the starch. I tagged the story as an adventure because, quite frankly, this is what it's going to be. If it wasn't, the definition of the story would simply be, "Join Stephen Coltbert as he provides the conservative viewpoint on Equestria so that you don't have to."

Plus, my author's note says that episode 1 will be the next chapter.

The pacing is intentional, but if Colbert seems out of character, I can concede to that. I've only seen a few clips of him out of character. His Playboy interview, his character breaking when he testified for the Mexican workers, and the few breaks that he does on his show.

I am really hopeing this turns out well
Hopefully i can say this without it being a lie later

Hmm, lemme give this a read...

A good reason to change a human to a Pony when taking them to Equestria would be due the the different diseases. We would not want a plague to start in Equestria because of the common cold you know.

so much potential!!!!!! please know what you are doing! please please please please please!!!:rainbowkiss:

I'm interested to see what exactly Celestia's concerned about. Is she unconsciously demonizing new ideologies? Is Equestria really being corrupted? Or is society unaware of its problems, and needs the Colbert Bump?

Also, is who's the new Jim? Is he a Rush fan too?

Not much to say on the writing side of things this early. The dialog was formal to the point of being stale, but then again it WAS business talk. I'm left wanting seconds.

You bungled an opportunity to make a "purple mountains" joke when Colbert saw the exterior environment for the first time. Equestrian mountains could actually be purple.

I'll give you an actual in-character chapter, but so far I'm not digging it.

Thank the lord some one finally made a Colbert report.

Huh, Colbert in Equestria? I've heard of ponies on the daily show but this is new. Cool:twilightsmile:

You, fellow brony, have my attention. subbed! :rainbowdetermined2:

You lost me in the middle of the lunch. Not feeling it, kinda dry.

A for effort and everything! At least it's written well.

The number one threat to Equestria…Ursas!

Going to read later for now.
I really hope you can pull of Stephen Colbert's personality right. :rainbowwild:

POLITICS?! Agh, you beat me to it.:moustache:


This.... Sounds..... AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy: Do you mind if I travel through the ColtBert Verse in my story?

Equestria Again: Rebecoming the Harmony We Never Weren't

*Auto-follows and likes because Coltbert. Will read later*

I admit, this is an entertaining read. However, you may want to be careful of the dialogue. A good portion of it feels forced.

Won't this be interesting...

Freedom at odds with harmony?

No, 'anarchy' is at odds with harmony.

'Stupidity' is at odds with harmony.

'Selfishness' is at odds with harmony.

'Apathy' is at odds with harmony.

An intelligent, sensible, compassionate, empathetic, generous person can have absolute freedom and will never do anything 'bad' due to it being against his or her core personality. Such a person will innately desire harmony and do only things which bring about harmony. This is confusing abstract social concepts with personal responsibility and interpersonal relationships.

Okay, I was expecting this chapter to be the show, but I can wait. Fav'd

You are correct. I'm referring to American "Freedom". Perhaps I should have been more specific.

1937444 That would be 'consumerism'. :raritywink:

Lets see where this goes

Humans in Equestria isn't stupid... as long as it is not about some depressed, 22-year-old white male that has a bad life and kills himself.



Big fan of Colbert and Stewart. Not too sure of this story at the moment.

You've earned a watch for the moment.

Colbert is Best Pony! Now if you Can Pull Off Letterman, That would Be Something.

1937444 "American Freedom"? Bucking LOL'd

Just like in America America the place were capitolism rules but nobody has any money but we all have overly priced @$/& on the capitol city high charity the flood took it over and covered it in some goey stuff that came only be described as "holy hell this $&)@ stinks"

:pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::yay:YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!

Waiting for next chapter.... where is it HMMM?!

In a separate word document while I complete it.

Great start. Had to read it between breaks since I was watching Daily Show and Colbert at the time. :derpytongue2:

Imagine if Steve gave a shout out to this story... :rainbowderp:

-Kiryu :moustache:

If he did, I would probably cum in my pants. I pray that I'm wearing pants if that happens.

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