• Member Since 1st Aug, 2019
  • offline last seen 28 minutes ago


I think it'd be better if I just shut my mouth, cuz I hate how I look, how I sound.


Applejack is not quite ready for her latest friendship mission.

She has to get sucked through an interdimensional vacuum cleaner, have her entire body re-shaped, and get dumped in an alien world she's only heard about secondhoof from Twilight.

It certainly doesn't help that she has no idea what her mission will be. And since the map only summoned AJ, she has to go alone.

Not that she's scared or anything!

Written in one half hour for a Quills and Sofas PANIC! Authors were given a very specific prompt that fit a very specific genre, then required to NOT write in that genre. This came out of that mess.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 43 )

Lovely glimpse of a larger tale. I hope you expand this should you get the time and inspiration.

Well, this was surprisingly fun. Take an upvote from me

Finally! About time another Applejack story made it to the Featured Box. Congrats!


I loved this story! So polished for only a half-hour of time. You should consider entering Everfree Northwest's Iron Author competition next year.
I'd love to see what you can do with two hours! :raritywink:

Seriously, you need to have a sequel. I'd love to know what comes next!


Thank you!

Honestly I read about the competition. It'd be loads of fun, but I don't know if I'll make it to EFNW. I'm for sure going to be trying to make it to next year's Trotcon in the summer, though I'd like to do both.

As for another chapter, maybe? It's certainly possible, but I'm not too sure I'll ever get around to it. Or if I even know where I'd go from here, ya know?

Such awesome horse words, and in so little time, too! Love it!:yay::heart:
A favorite well-deserved!

I hope to make it to TrotCon. I've heard good things. We'll see if the military will let me take leave next July.

As for a sequel, if you write it I'll definitely read it!

Brilliance story!

This is good stuff.

“You think I didn’t try that?” Dash snorted. “Of course she was the first stop. But three hours, six book recommendations, and twelve dresses later, and I’m no closer to asking my crush out. Rarity talks a big game, but she lacks experience. And I’m probably beyond her helpI can’t believe I’m such a… weakling.

Yep, unsubtle is Rarity, whether pony or human.

Cool story, interesting premise, everyone is in character. Could see this as a real episode. If you hadn't put that description in, I never would have guessed you wrote this is just half an hour.

There's only one thing I'd change, and that's the Completed status. This feels like the start of a longer story, and I'd love for you to continue it.

I mean you kinda cheated with the prompt since EQG can count as medieval scifi (basically fantasy character gets to modern world) so...
Anyways, yeah we want more

Reminds me of Self Help. Good job, hope to see more!

Well that's gonna turn into a lovely trainwreck. Very nice.

Ah I remember this one. God, I’d pay money to see this expanded.

Hey completely unrelated, do you do writing commissions?


Unfortunately I don't. And even if I did, my plate's a bit too full at the moment.

Might be open to some kinda trade in the future, though, when the schedule's not so busy.

Haha no worries! I’m just goofin’. Just trying to tell you I do love this concept! I can understand being busy

She looked at me funny, and laughed. “That’s not how that phrase goes over here. C’mon, take my hand, I’ll help you up.” I lifted my own… hand… and wiggled my own claws. Fingers? Rainbow grabbed them, and with a gentleness I didn’t expect, pulled me to my hind hooves. I nearly stumbled, but she quickly reached out and steadied me. “Careful, there, AJ. Sunset warned us that it takes a while to get used to bike pedal local ocean. Or whatever words she uses.”

Took me a few reads but I figured Sunset meant "bipedal locomotion". Dash may read books but she's not the brainiac Sunset and Twi are.

interesting start to a potential fic!

I honestly wondered if anybody would catch that, or if it was just too weird. But yes, I like to think that Rainbow Dash casually mispronounces words and phrases and doesn't really care.

Ahh, the tiny details that make the shine of a wonderful author :ajsmug:

I got bipedal locomotion, but I didn't get the below qoute:

“I feel like ten bits worth of apples in a five bit bag.”

The human expression is, "I feel like ten pounds of [poop] in a five pound bag". It's a real-life countryism for basically feeling like crap.

That's a new one for me. Thanks for the explanation!

Interesting, I've only ever heard "ten pounds of *apples* in a five pound bag," not [poop]. It's always been used to comment on overloading something, not feeling terrible.

Edit: Fantastic story, though! I loved it!

if this was longer I actually be interested in this

Ah yes rainbow dash, absolute paragon of cunning. Can't ask a girl out? Go on a practice date with her alternate universe counterpart. I'm sure nothing will go wrong and no wacky highjinks will ensue.

You wrote this in half an hour? You deserve a derpy for that.
Here: :derpytongue2:

This is awesome! I'm already invested. Can't wait for chapter 2!

I laughed. This is clever.

“Oh, horseapples.”

sums it up nicely XD

Half an hour? That's very impressive. It's a fun little snippet and you can see how AJ would be scared to go through the portal. It's really open ended. I wonder if it would have been better with a few more lines to signal the end of the story. Like AJ going: "Aww, heck no!" and rushing back through the portal. Or a scene switch where pony Rainbow is asking human AJ the same question on the other side of the portal. Something like that, but maybe less cliche.

Either way, I'm glad I read it and I enjoyed it. And again, half an hour? Chapeau.

Shame that, I could already hear the Benny Hill song going in my head.

This is great! I can't believe that this story was written in just half an hour!


*reads story description*


Ok this was awesome :rainbowlaugh::heart:

This is good for a short story that was quickly written.

Great story, apple! Almost wish there was more to this - sounds like the start of a great rom-com. :rainbowlaugh:

This was pretty good for a short story! I really like the concept, its cute. Wish there was more of it but its all good, I liked it regardless :)

Needs a continuation. NOW.

Funny little story, Thanks

Given this was a speedwrite and thus didn't have the opportunity to explore the story much, this was a lot of fun and had a good payoff. It makes sense that Applejack would be so apprehensive about the portal.

This is really good. For something whipped up in a half-hour, it’s funny and flows nicely. No language errors I could spot.

One thing that really stood out was the girls calling each other by their nicknames. Dash, AJ, Twi and Rares. They are all so comfortable with each other and the franchise always has the girls refer to each other by their full names, which I always thought was a little weird. So I’m glad you took the other direction.

Well, if you have some time now, there's at least two ways to go.

1. Have a "trial date" / "asking out" of Mlp-AJ, so that EqG-Dash gets practice. Only to have EqG-AJ show up, and shenanigans happen.
2. A "Cyrano" style "I'll help you with what to say", because of course one AJ knows what the other wants to hear ... only the pony phrases come out and shenanigans happen.
3. Flat out MLP AJ talks to EqG AJ and then ... one of them comes over to RD, and talks to her. But RD doesn't know which one it is ... shenanigans happen.

... And if you consider all the TV shows, including twin sisters where one says "I'll help you with my sister" sort of things, every one of these ideas has made the 22 minute format.

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