Applejack is not quite ready for her latest friendship mission.
She has to get sucked through an interdimensional vacuum cleaner, have her entire body re-shaped, and get dumped in an alien world she's only heard about secondhoof from Twilight.
It certainly doesn't help that she has no idea what her mission will be. And since the map only summoned AJ, she has to go alone.
Not that she's scared or anything!
Written in one half hour for a Quills and Sofas PANIC! Authors were given a very specific prompt that fit a very specific genre, then required to NOT write in that genre. This came out of that mess.
Chapters (1)
Lovely glimpse of a larger tale. I hope you expand this should you get the time and inspiration.
Well, this was surprisingly fun. Take an upvote from me
Finally! About time another Applejack story made it to the Featured Box. Congrats!
Dreadnought
I loved this story! So polished for only a half-hour of time. You should consider entering Everfree Northwest's Iron Author competition next year.
I'd love to see what you can do with two hours!
Seriously, you need to have a sequel. I'd love to know what comes next!
Dreadnought
11061986
Thank you!
Honestly I read about the competition. It'd be loads of fun, but I don't know if I'll make it to EFNW. I'm for sure going to be trying to make it to next year's Trotcon in the summer, though I'd like to do both.
As for another chapter, maybe? It's certainly possible, but I'm not too sure I'll ever get around to it. Or if I even know where I'd go from here, ya know?
Such awesome horse words, and in so little time, too! Love it!
A favorite well-deserved!
11061994
I hope to make it to TrotCon. I've heard good things. We'll see if the military will let me take leave next July.
As for a sequel, if you write it I'll definitely read it!
Brilliance story!
This is good stuff.
Yep, unsubtle is Rarity, whether pony or human.
Cool story, interesting premise, everyone is in character. Could see this as a real episode. If you hadn't put that description in, I never would have guessed you wrote this is just half an hour.
There's only one thing I'd change, and that's the Completed status. This feels like the start of a longer story, and I'd love for you to continue it.
I mean you kinda cheated with the prompt since EQG can count as medieval scifi (basically fantasy character gets to modern world) so...
Anyways, yeah we want more
Reminds me of Self Help. Good job, hope to see more!
Well that's gonna turn into a lovely trainwreck. Very nice.
Ah I remember this one. God, I’d pay money to see this expanded.
…
Hey completely unrelated, do you do writing commissions?
11062261
Heh.
Unfortunately I don't. And even if I did, my plate's a bit too full at the moment.
Might be open to some kinda trade in the future, though, when the schedule's not so busy.
11062270
Haha no worries! I’m just goofin’. Just trying to tell you I do love this concept! I can understand being busy
Took me a few reads but I figured Sunset meant "bipedal locomotion". Dash may read books but she's not the brainiac Sunset and Twi are.
interesting start to a potential fic!
11062328
I honestly wondered if anybody would catch that, or if it was just too weird. But yes, I like to think that Rainbow Dash casually mispronounces words and phrases and doesn't really care.
11062334
Ahh, the tiny details that make the shine of a wonderful author
11062334
I got bipedal locomotion, but I didn't get the below qoute:
11062373
The human expression is, "I feel like ten pounds of [poop] in a five pound bag". It's a real-life countryism for basically feeling like crap.
11062380
That's a new one for me. Thanks for the explanation!
11062380
Interesting, I've only ever heard "ten pounds of *apples* in a five pound bag," not [poop]. It's always been used to comment on overloading something, not feeling terrible.
Edit: Fantastic story, though! I loved it!
if this was longer I actually be interested in this
Ah yes rainbow dash, absolute paragon of cunning. Can't ask a girl out? Go on a practice date with her alternate universe counterpart. I'm sure nothing will go wrong and no wacky highjinks will ensue.
You wrote this in half an hour? You deserve a derpy for that.
Here:
This is awesome! I'm already invested. Can't wait for chapter 2!
I laughed. This is clever.
sums it up nicely XD
Half an hour? That's very impressive. It's a fun little snippet and you can see how AJ would be scared to go through the portal. It's really open ended. I wonder if it would have been better with a few more lines to signal the end of the story. Like AJ going: "Aww, heck no!" and rushing back through the portal. Or a scene switch where pony Rainbow is asking human AJ the same question on the other side of the portal. Something like that, but maybe less cliche.
Either way, I'm glad I read it and I enjoyed it. And again, half an hour? Chapeau.
11062270
Shame that, I could already hear the Benny Hill song going in my head.
This is great! I can't believe that this story was written in just half an hour!
Huh.
*reads story description*
Ohhh.
Ok this was awesome
This is good for a short story that was quickly written.
Great story, apple! Almost wish there was more to this - sounds like the start of a great rom-com.
This was pretty good for a short story! I really like the concept, its cute. Wish there was more of it but its all good, I liked it regardless :)
Needs a continuation. NOW.
Funny little story, Thanks
Given this was a speedwrite and thus didn't have the opportunity to explore the story much, this was a lot of fun and had a good payoff. It makes sense that Applejack would be so apprehensive about the portal.
This is really good. For something whipped up in a half-hour, it’s funny and flows nicely. No language errors I could spot.
One thing that really stood out was the girls calling each other by their nicknames. Dash, AJ, Twi and Rares. They are all so comfortable with each other and the franchise always has the girls refer to each other by their full names, which I always thought was a little weird. So I’m glad you took the other direction.
11061994
Well, if you have some time now, there's at least two ways to go.
1. Have a "trial date" / "asking out" of Mlp-AJ, so that EqG-Dash gets practice. Only to have EqG-AJ show up, and shenanigans happen.
2. A "Cyrano" style "I'll help you with what to say", because of course one AJ knows what the other wants to hear ... only the pony phrases come out and shenanigans happen.
3. Flat out MLP AJ talks to EqG AJ and then ... one of them comes over to RD, and talks to her. But RD doesn't know which one it is ... shenanigans happen.
... And if you consider all the TV shows, including twin sisters where one says "I'll help you with my sister" sort of things, every one of these ideas has made the 22 minute format.