• Member Since 29th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Chengar Qordath


I write lots and lots of horse words; everything from comedy to drama. If you like what I write, please support me on Patreon.

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This story is a sequel to Oncoming Storm: Family Matters


Cloud Kicker's slowly been figuring out how to use the new magical powers she acquired from her girlfriend Rainbow Dash. Even if it was a bit of a shock at first, it's magic! Who wouldn't be excited to have it? It certainly makes life at CHS more interesting.

However, just because she has magic powers doesn't mean she can control them, and when Cloud's magic goes haywire it quickly becomes apparent that she needs more help than what Sunset can offer on her own. Finding a solution means taking a trip to the magical land of Equestria, but Cloud might not like what she finds when she goes through the looking glass.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 55 )

The unspoken reason Mrs. Kicker can't go is that her unit doesn't have a briefing book for out of dimension travel. Not to mention the hell it would pull notating it on her SF86 during her security clearance reinvestigation.

Something that has always bothered be about Equestria Girls is that it was so shallow. All the people (local to the portal at least) had pony counterparts which raises merry hell when you try to answer why. And the Human 6 of course grows wings and other features to mirror the Mane 6. To me, this always seemed a cop out, they were copying the "real" pony versions rather than having there own identities. I would have applauded if they mixed the tribes up and Sci Twi wasn't an alicorn but all those seemed to just support that Canterlot High was just official Hasbro fanfiction. Same character with some slight changes to the setting.

It looms like the differences between the pony and human version of Cloud will come up so big thumbs up for that. Looking forward to where this is going.

JMP

Nice to see this up. Granted, I like everything I've read from you, but I really like this series. Added to tracking, and looking forward to the next chapter.

Very interesting start. This worlds version of Star was hilarious! I’m rather curious to see how this Cloud reacts to what the other Cloud is like, though I am worried about how she’s gonna take pony Sparkler and Star dating! XD Overall, looking forward to the next chapter!

Well it will be interesting to see how Dash and Cloud react when they are with their pony counterparts as for instance Pinkie and Dash are together on the pony side but the EG one certainly does not have those feelings for her Pinkie Pie. Cloud will be seeing herself with Blossom and Fluttershy and potentially pregnant. I am also hoping to get more clues for some other characters since I like them a lot such as hoping for something random like Sunset Shimmer is secretly dating EG Pinkie Pie (because those blooper reels really seem to push that and it seems to work for me).

Oddly I am less invested in the actual story part of this and how it afects the actual main characters and I am not really sure why. For some reason I am just not finding EG Dash and Kicker to be as likeable as some other characters but I am not really sure why that is. Hopefully that will be a feeling that will pass.

I am looking forward to seeing Cloud stumble on four legs. I wonder how freaked out she would be by the tail.

“We ain’t in school until Monday, Ah can talk normal,” Applejack groused, then held up a hand to cut her off. “Yes, ‘normal’, not ‘nor-muh-lee’. Don’t you start with me, missy.”

"I will gladly rend existence limb from limb if it means getting you to use proper grammar."
"What was that?"
"Nothing."

Rainbow yelped and dived into cover, just barely avoiding a similar fate. “Gah, Pinkie’s back! When did she get so scarily good at nerfing?”

Well, ever since that internship at that game company...

In any case, this promises to be very fascinating indeed. I love seeing humans go through the mirror, and this scenario should be especially fun. Also, excellent work in mapping Star Kicker to a modern teen. Looking forward to more.

it is weird i really want a pov story of this worlds star kicker im not kidding either i want that fic

Ok, I'm a bit confused here. I just read through what's posted of this story (after having read its prequels, of course) and I saw in the comments of this story there are people talking like there's a non-canon setting already established on the other side of the mirror. Is this story related to any of the author's other works or is it its own, totally separate universe and everything? I already looked through all the comments on the other two stories in this series and double-checked the story descriptions for anything I might have missed, since oftentimes there's a "This story is a part of the [Insert name here]-verse/timeline/series/continuity" line in the description for the story.

Or go to the bathroom. Do you have to go to the bathroom? Cuz you look like you have to go to the bathroom.

:rainbowlaugh:

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Technically yes. The universe on the other side of the mirror is very heavily based on the universe established in Chengars and Ponibius’s other works, commonly referred to as the “Winningverse”. The only really difference is Sunset went to this version of the EG universe instead of fleeing to Freeport like in the main series. So people are discussing a more or less non-canon setting for the events to take place later in this story.

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Darn, I was kind of hoping that wasn't the case. Oh well, I'll still give it a chance. Thanks for clarifying that.

Keep up the great work! <3

Seriously, I am really digging this whole expansion of "Human Cloud Kicker" <3

I rolled my eyes and smacked her shoulder, making us even for the one she’d gotten on me earlier. “I did not. Rainbow’s the one who got me wet.”

Sparkler sighed and patted her shoulder. “C’mon, we talked about this on the way over: we’re the Mighty Orphan Power Rangers.”

Oh my god, that's awful!

Sparkler smirked and deadpanned. “We’d still win. Rainbow and Cloud are here.”

Oh my god, it's me.

Rainbow smirked. “It’s a big target. Maybe next time I’ll try a challenge, like trying to hit your brain instead. That’s about the smallest target there is.” Applejack’s response was a particularly rude gesture as she fell back to her base to respawn.

Shots fired!

Sparkler scowled at her. “How did you even ... there’s no way I could miss that many times when you were that close!”

You'd be surprised. Church from RvB would know. His aim is AWFUL.

Things happened very fast after that. A lance of pure agony shot up my arm, and my hand snapped open, letting the gun fall from my grip. When it hit the ground, I noticed that it looked almost ... melted. The pain in my arm focused down to my hand, turning from sharp pain to a dull, burning throb.

Her magic.

“Most of it’s just first degree,” I answered lamely. Mom scowled and crossed her arms, hitting me with her best disapproving glower. I made sure we weren’t in danger of being overheard by any of the doctors, then did my best to explain it. “Somehow, my magic messed with the gun and made it go nuts. The plastic half-melted in my hand, and Applejack’s got a bruised rib where I shot her.”

Fuck...

Mom held up a hand to cut her off. “I can neither confirm nor deny anything you may or may not have heard.” Her eyes narrowed, and she practically growled, “And you should know better than to ask those sorts of questions.”

She has a point.

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"I will gladly rend existence limb from limb if it means getting you to use proper grammar."

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/253/943/650.gif

Rainbow smirked. “My parents always said video games would rot my brain. Shows them.”

This brings me immense amusement.

“He went from being a dragon to a dog?” Rainbow chuckle-snorted. “Talk about a downgrade.”

True. And while he's young, he can breathe fire enough to melt a huge ice cloud, has near impenetrable scales, and ones belly flopped into lava and then spat some out with no ill effects.

I knew I should probably be trying to convince her to stay here instead of smashing one of the princesses’ windows to escape, especially when we were both being kept in the palace for our own safety, and to avoid causing confusion or panic amongst the general populace. But ... to hell with it. “Let’s go check out ponyland!”

Gonna regret that.

Both Twilight and Sunset really screwed up there. Keeping two teenagers cooped up in a new world is a certain recipe for disaster.

Oh, human Cloud and Rainbow are going to be so disappointed. Actually, more Cloud than RD. One is indeed a national hero and Star flying athlete. The other...

Mighty Orphan Power Rangers...that's just gold right there!

Ohhh the upcoming is gonna be gooooood! A perfect set up here.

Sounds like they’re at the point where Cloud would have had her foal already.

Hehehe, this is gonna be good. The Rainbows have been doubled!

She looked over the titles, eventually grabbing a huge tome titled Lock-Picking for Beginners. “Bingo!”

She hefted the tome over her head, then tossed it through the nearest window. “Come on Cloud! We’re free!”

Heh.

In any case, results are inconclusive this far, and Twilight's really going to have to work on her hosting skills when it comes to human teenagers. If she thought foreign dignitaries were bad...

Plus, now there's dramatic irony thick enough to armor a tank. If pony Cloud does find these two, pony Dash may never, ever live it down... though there's also the matter of human Cloud's plans for the future. She may not react well herself if she learns what her equine counterpart did with her life.

Further proof that the correlation across the mirror is nit 1-to-1, not even for ponies.

Human teenager Rainbow is so annoying x)

Ohhhhh. This is getting GOOD! <3

I cannot WAIT until the whole "Human Cloud is not dating RD" thing comes out >=)

OO so close to having them meet Pinkie Pie at the bakery! I still believe that would be hilarious because I think human Dash would be even more surprised by pony Dash dating Pinkie than human Dash dating kicker.

“Wait, you know a pony version of me? Is she some sort of badass army pony?”

Oooh... Yeah, about that, Cloud... :twilightoops:

Prepare for ALL the awkward!

And two Rainbow Dashes. Twooooooo!

Can never have enough Rainbow.

I salute Rainbow Dash for a not-unreasonable and proportional response to seeing a younger version of herself and Kicker in the street. Seriously, RD, you did not massively over-react and do crazy things. Well done. Clearly you are the more mature of the two of yourself and that is a sentence I wasn't expecting to say this morning...

“By the way, you did make sure that this place’s Rainbow and Cloud Kicker won’t show up, right?”

Twilight nodded at once. “Of course. I’d rather not have any complications. Rainbow or Cloud would probably assume an evil changeling took her place if they saw another version of themselves running around. I’ve got Starlight keeping both of them busy.”

So you didn't bother letting anyone know you were bringing other dimensional counterparts of people over? Not even the native versions just to specifically avoid them getting attacked for being 'changelings?' AND ESPECIALLY GIVEN YOUR CLOUD'S HISTORY WITH CHANGELINGS!?

Geez Twilight, you're officially the world's dumbest smart pony.

“Right ... the internet.” Twilight pulled out a chalkboard. “I suppose that’s something I should really find a way to recreate with Equestrian magic."

Winning Kicker can help you out with that...

Twilight nodded along. “We’re vegetarians. There are a couple ponies who try meat, but that’s really not something we have any dietary need for.”

Assuming Star Kicker is still her personal guard in this story, shouldn't she have a little something in her freezer?

Man, Dash treats her friend Princess Twilight, who she likely hasn’t seen in a good while, like garbage here. I don’t think that she says a single positive thing to her in this... no greeting, nothing. She does however make sure that she knows that her scrolls are lame, her lecture is lame, her puns are lame, her ponifying words is lame, her magic is lame, her dimension is lame, her tests and lack of progress are lame, her food is *really* lame, her books are lame, and (since the problem with the Daring Do books on this side of the mirror is that they have ponies in them) that ponies in general are lame. Then she busts one of Twilight’s windows and brazenly does the one thing that Twilight feared would cause trouble in her town.

I get that she’s Dash, a teenager, worried about her girlfriend and chaffing at not being able to do anything (both to help and in general), but damn is she taking someone who was a dear friend who has gone through great efforts for her, her girlfriend, and her whole dimension in the past for granted while being sure to register contempt for every aspect of this Twilight’s life.

I hope that she wakes up and has reason to feel guilty about this at some point in the story. I’m eager for the main hijinks of the story to start with the revelations for our couple about their counterparts, but a bit on the side dealing with this would be welcome too.

I felt an insurmountable amount of dread as Human!Rainbow decided to break out of the castle. That dread was quickly dispelled when Pony!Rainbow discovered that Cloud and Human!Rainbow were in a relationship :rainbowlaugh: Please, oh please, let Cloud Kicker find out about this so she can tease Rainbow until the end of their days.

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Well... She does have an "Army" of previous sexual partners :P

Well.

That got heavy....

...Hooooooooooooooboy.

Such a good set up to have a joke with "Pinkie is your girlfriend!" and go from there. Oh well.

I do not know this story seems so much as padding. I feel like the overall length is fine but this story does not accomplish much or do much. I do not know I was hoping for more in the story. Crossing over these characters has such good potential for fun but we do not get to really get much from it. Just a small argument and a couple really small jokes. If just feels like a lot of potential unrealized.

Wait, so Twilight and Sunset were able to make Cloud her own magic pendant? Aren't the pendants that world's version of the Elements? Or are you going with a more mundane explanation of "magical power-controlling crystals" or something like that?

Also, Pony Cloud's mom is dead, presumably KIA. Human Cloud's mom is deploying on a mission. If this doesn't involve Cloud using her new gun magic to save her mom's life, I will be sorely disappointed.

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Also, Pony Cloud's mom is dead, presumably KIA. Human Cloud's mom is deploying on a mission.

Oh, damn, this could be foreshadowing some really bad stuff ...

Isn't Pony Mrs Kicker dead at this point of the timeline? Cloud didn't react when she saw her mom's human version.

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:rainbowlaugh:
What the hell did I just watch? Oh god my sides.

Another strangely familiar voice called out from the palace entrance. “What is it I’m not supposed to find out about, and how do I find out about it?”

There we go.

Pony Rainbow groaned and buried her face in her hooves as the new pony trotted in. As soon as I got a good look at her, I realized exactly why she sounded so familiar. I frowned and whispered to my Rainbow. “Does my voice really sound like that? I didn’t think I had an accent.”

Our voices always sound a bit weird when they're not coming out of our own voices. Our voices sound different to us when we speak because it's coming directly out of us and the vibrations create a bit of audio illusions that make our voices sound different to us than to others. Or something to that effect.

Pony Me shrugged. “Lyra said she saw you hustling a copy of yourself and me off towards Twilight’s palace. Of course I wanted to come check it out.” She turned to face me directly. “You’re the version of me from that weird other dimension Twilight has a portal to, right?”

You're oddly chill.

Other Me shrugged. “Fluttershy told me about it, and I figured you weren’t changelings since nobody was freaking out. Plus Twilight would’ve insisted you drop your disguises by now, and she sent Starlight to try and keep us busy.”

Ah, that'd do it.

“I never knew they were into bondage,” Pony-me commented with shocking idleness.

HAHAHAHAHAAA!

Pony Rainbow’s jaw hit the floor.“Twiliiight!How could you?!”

“You really have to ask me that after all the times you’ve pranked me?” Twilight shot back.

Turnabout's fair play, Dashie.

Meanwhile, my pony counterpart turned on her, mischief dancing in her eyes. “Oh, I am gonna haveso much funwith this!”

Oh yes!

Twilight shot her a flat look. “I’m pretty sure they’re familiar with sarcasm and teasing in the other dimension, Rainbow.”

I love Twilight Snarkle.

Both Rainbows sighed in near perfect unison. “Just because it’s not in one of your books doesn’t mean it’s not real, Twilight.”

I love this stuff, it's amazing.

Pony Dash rolled her eyes. “If I do that, you’ll just use it to tease me more.”

She's going to ANYWAY.

Pony Me chuckled and smirked. “Dash, sweetheart, do you really think there’sanythingyou could say about this situation that would make me tease you more than I’m already planning to?”

See?

“She’s not half the brat you are!” My Rainbow snapped back. “And if your version of Cloud is so great, how come you’re not with her?!”

Oh this is going to end poorly.

Things probably would’ve gotten a lot more heated if not for the purplish-pink wall of solid energy that suddenly sprang up between us and our pony counterparts. Princess Twilight followed her spell forward a moment later. “That’s enough of that! All four of you go cool off before you say something you’ll regret later.”

Thank you, Twilight.

Rainbow scoffed. “They never had it in the first place, so there was nothing to make work. We’re already different from them. Doesn’t matter what some weird pony thing that looks and acts kinda like me does, I’m still me.”

She has a point, you're similar, but not the same. Look at the Twilights, one's a Princess, the other's, not, there's probably an age gap there.

Not even Twilight is that neurotic with her plans, and she has a checklist for checklist-making.”

I don't doubt that she does.

“It’s notyourfuture!” Rainbow snapped. “Just some other Cloud's future. This is the same as you feeling guilty because you went to some crazy mirror universe where there was an evil version of you with a goatee that went around being a total jerk. You’re being really stupid about this, and the more you do it the more it hurts. And I hate seeing you get hurt.”

Now I want to see Cloud Kicker with a goatee.

Rainbow frowned, then slowly nodded. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, it’s not like I was massively in love with you before we hooked up. But ... well, lemme put it this way. We share a locker room with the rest of the team. I’ve bumped into other girls before. Usually we just kinda mumble an apology and forget about it. I don’t think we woulda gone from me accidently touching a boob to doin’ it and having a serious relationship after if there was nothing there.”

She has a point.

“You’ve got a point.” I glanced down at my flat, featureless pony chest. “I miss my boobs.”

They're there. Just, lower.

Rainbow grinned lecherously. “I miss your boobs too.”

I don't doubt that.

Pony Cloud shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry I was trying for a joke, and I guess I forgot to actually be funny. Well, that or maybe you’re not used to my sense of humor.”

Oh Christ, my life in a nutshell.

Sure, I might complain about my little sisters all the time, and with good reason, but they were still family. Thinking about what it would be like without them was every bit as terrifying as the idea of me not winding up in the army or not being with Rainbow. Growing up with no sisters ... Rainbow had been right, this pony version of me really was a completely different person.

Yep.

I stared at for several seconds, trying to wrap my head around all the implications of that. “Oh mygod,you’re old.”

And that's a Nat 1 on Diplomacy.

“I believe in loving ponies regardless of what’s in between their legs,”

Fair enough.

“Firearm...” Pony Cloud frowned and tapped her chin. “I think I heard about those back at West Hoof. The zebras use them. Some kind alchemical weapon that launches bullets with explosions. Like a sling, except way more complicated.”

Basically. They range from dangerous, to 'holy fucking shit why would you even make such a thing'.

I was already doing a hundred sit-ups, push-ups, and squats every day, plus a 10k run every other day.

So you're Saitama? That's, awesome.

“Best friends,” she answered firmly. “No real romance though. Weverybriefly toyed with the idea after she hit on me once while drunk, but that was more about her feeling like I didn’t value her friendship enough filtered through drunk logic. We’re tight, just not in the love and romance way. More the the lifelong friend way.”

Noted.

“Mostly your pride though, right?” Rainbow asked, checking me over. “Just saying your mom has so many ways of kicking my ass if you actually got hurt.”

And all of them unpleasant.

Pony Rainbow groaned and rubbed her face. “If I say they are, you’ll tease me about it. If I say they aren’t, you’ll tease me about that. There’s no way to win. You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”

Pony Cloud grinned shamelessly. “Nope.”

I love these two.

I rolled my eyes. “Rainbow, I’m starting to think you enjoy making your pronouns as confusing as possible.”

Probably.

I opened it up and had a look. It was a tiny gemstone, almost exactly like the one Rainbow used to make her own magical powers work. I guess it should’ve been obvious in hindsight. The only reason it hadn’t occurred to me was that I didn’t even know they could make a magical gem.

Ah, a catalyst.

I sighed and shook my head. Not that I wouldn’t have been all for shooting my bratty little sister most of the time, but... “Until I’m one hundred percent sure this gem is working, I’m going to treat even a toy nerf gun like the real thing.”

Probably for the best.

The portal flashed again, and a pegasus stepped out. The full plate armor was new, but between the colors and her faintly annoyed scowl it was easy enough to recognize her. “Mom, what are you doing here?”

Oh dear.

Mom grunted and nodded. “Why I’m here. We had to move up the timetable. I’m deploying first thing in the morning.”

OH.

A rather terrible suspicion began leaking into my mind. Something that would nicely explain exactly why all the ponies got so awkward when Mom showed up, why Pony Cloud looked like she’d seen a ghost, and why now she was telling me to be extra-tolerant of all Mom’s mom-ness before she deployed.

I like this. She may be younger, but she isn't stupid, she's read books, seen shows and movies and can connect the dots. She can figure out why she's being like this.

When that ending came I was hoping for pony cloud to hug her and never let go. Well, let's hope there's more chance for those two to connect.

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Hence my wishing for a happy ending where Cloud uses her badass gun magic to save her badass mom.

I do love how even Cloud Kicker finds Cloud Kicker's antics outrageous. (I'm with H-Dash on the pronoun front. It's part of the fun of parallel universes!)

And Sunset's background identity crisis rages on. Methinks she'll have quite a bit to think about...

Hmm. This raises the question of human Sparkler's origins, now that I actually know about those of her equine counterpart. If she has the same biological parents, then it seems highly likely that there's another reason for their putting her up for adoption, and that raises the question of what.

It was starting to look like this place was less a parallel universe and more some twisted bizarro horse world where the timeline made no sense and everything was just a twisted equine parody of reality.

Yeah, basically. And vice versa, from the opposite perspective.

And the solution does make a lot of sense. Put in a control circuit, as with the other systems on display.

In all, some fantastic externalized girl vs. self conflicts with just the right amount of Raincloud fluff. Thank you for it. I just hope human Nimbus will be careful around bug monsters in the future...

It was really nice to see the Human Cloud and Pony Cloud talk and learn from each other. It was especially sweet to see Pony Cloud tell Human Cloud to appreciate her mom, despite her faults. Overall a really funny and sweet story. Very excited for whatever comes next.

This was a surprisingly emotional chapter. Not what I was expecting, but I am rather pleased with how this turned out.

You are one of my favorite authors on here. I hope that you continue to write more excellent stories and chapters <3

She looked over the titles, eventually grabbing a huge tome titled Lock-Picking for Beginners. “Bingo!”

She hefted the tome over her head, then tossed it through the nearest window.

Yep. That's Rainbow Dash, all right.

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