YAY! Your back! I swear, that If this ever happends again, there will be hell to pay! Isn't that right boys!?!?!

What keeps happening to the story?

ok WHAT THE FUCK!

WHOEVER THE HACKERS ARE STOP IT

we got a fluttershy

Aww mah gawrsh!
I LOVED THIS ON FANFICTION

Wait what happened to the story? This is the first time I am reading it. Good story by the way.

1170735 Indeed...
I have no clue what's going on.
Anyways, great story so far! Gonna keep on reading.

1170132 lol best post i seen yet

Wow. The Mane 6's reactions to a human in Equestria are very strange. You would think more than "You're a human? Cool." Compared to some fan-fics where their reactions are to scream in terror.

the cake is a lie. good job sir.

huh?? o.0 the pacing of the story and character intereaction is abit fast dont you think? altho it is weird i find the characters reaction and eagerness to be james friend quite refreshing differeing to most fics i shall give you a thumb :3

The first person, fast-pacing, direct lines from the show, suddenly I'm the mane six's friend... is really feeling Gary Stu here, even if James isn't the typical "I'm fuckin' Superman up in this!" sort of Stu. Here's hoping Chapter 2 and onward prove it to not be like all the rest.

Why isn't he naked? I would be

This is an amazing story. I haven't even clicked the next chapter button, and this has already exceeded my expectations of a full, completed fan-fic. With over 300,000 more words to read, i'll get back to not doing homework.

So to put it bluntly - Your letters make me happy

Ehhh.. Here go a few pointers: show - DON'T Tell, the number 1 rule of literature; also the dialogue and character reactions seem a bit lackluster to me.

I don't know about everyone else, but I think this is ridiculously fast paced. Not even 24 hours into his stay and he already wants to stay forever, with next to no knowledge gathered about Equestria and its inhabitants, and he cries for a few minutes and then that's it, he's forgotten all about his home, his family and friends (if he didn't have any then it's even worse than if he just forgot about them) and everything he left behind. Because there's already so much written, I'll press on, but if this whole thing doesn't somewhat develop and improve, I'm sad to say I'll abandon it, but I'm just one reader out of many so I guess it doesn't matter too much. Good luck anyway!

1900337
This. I'll read a few more chapters before commiting to a thumbs up/down.

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2596406 need sleep...your post...too... borin-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

...Well, *cracks all joints in body and stretches* , that was an interesting first chapter...A little weak for the main character, but great descriptive effects...You should try to tone down the cliché-ness in your 'FEELZ'. The feeling of the party overall, wasn't happiness, because of the sappy cliché-crap you shat out, but awkwardness. Clichés don't fly in a good story...or at least not in anything that's not trying to be a Halmark card.

"The cake is a lie" is a reference to Portal not a prank, it was never a prank

...-sigh-...I find it sad how so many rable on about fast pacing, its not their story its yours, and it only SEEMS fast because it was the first chapter, but even then the length shows pretty much a full day passing, and its not entirely hard to make friends there when they dont discriminate species and thanks to the Zecora incedent, then they know not to judge by sight, but by personality, and also pinkie is pinkie so she'd try to make friends on the first day anyways. I've read all the chapters about...7 maybe 9 times, I like to re-read this and I cant wait till the next update~

Very nice. But I just can't help but feel it is a little bit fast. As 3632823 said it chronicles a full day. But for some reason I just can't help but think he got over the fact he is in an alternate dimension so soon. Perhaps he just hasn't had time to truly register the fact. Also the fact that the ponies didn't react to a mythological creature just wandering into the town seems a little odd, but whatever. It's ponyville, shit happens.

'The cake is a lie, but the cube is forever'

He seems to know nothing about the ponies, but he seems so unsurprised by everything! He isn't scared or confused, not even angry! I'd think that maybe he was hiding his feelings, but we can see his thoughts!

I'm going to keep reading on, simply because the rating suggests a increase in writing skill.

As I wrote that I realized how mean it sounded. I didn't mean it like that. I did mean to be blunt though. Admittedly, I only have one story out of 20 attempts I'd consider better that this is probably going to be, but this critique is as a reader not a writer.

4004705
If i suddenly ended up in a world without humans and filled with a race known on earth, except of the smart, talking variety.... well, shock can do weird shit to you, including forced, calm behavior.

holy hell was he trying to kill somepony with that apple on a spring?(just let go of it granny smiths are better anyway) was so thinking it was going to snap and hurt sompony and dude the cake is a lie holy hell again I know you did not know but

THE CAKE IS A LIE, THE MOTHER FUCKING CAKE IS A LIE!!!!!!

That is so frigging true with her. Top of the world or rock bottom, no in between. I also should mention I found a picture of pinkie with The Mask... nightmare fuel that was. Anyway, I do have one question though. How old is James? Hopefully that comes up in the next chapter because right now he doesn't seem to be very old. I'd say somewhere between 8 and 15 with how he acts... dunno. Guess I'll see. Other than that, nice story so far. Too early to call it great, but I spotted NO spelling or grammar errors. That already hits points with me.

So is this story like Diaries of a Madman except the main character isnt a complete and total a-hole? If so Im sold.

I'm commenting before I even read the chapter cause that story art is so awesome!

awesome first chapter

Did you have this story up on fanfiction.net? Because I could of swore I've read this before a long friggin time ago. I definitely remember the cake is a lie thing cause that was one of main things I remember of the story.

4043864
From what I have read, he also lacks Navarone's genre saviness and seems to lack his spine. Generic self-insert. Good grammar though. That is commendable.

4043864

Navarone is not an a-hole, he's a badass and if anything he has the right to act that way. Did you read how many times he'd been raped?! I don't exactly see many constant rape and scarred victems being all happy and jolly....

Great stories though, that one and this one

But before we all parted ways for the night, I was subjected to my very first group hug when all six of my new friends gathered around me and embraced me all at once.

Six? Didn't Rainbow Dash just leave? (TS, PP, AJ, R, FS) should be five.

chills man, chills in other words i love it

Why are the ponies always this stupid when it comes to meat eating?

Did he really ask Rarity to share the bed?...

wat

I love stories where the character is an asshole.
I wish more would be made, this doesn't seem like one to me. :(

And Pinkie Pie is truly a party animal.”

Badumtss

Okay, I am on the first chapter and I have run into one of my personal story killers. Overblown details. Every one knows what the mane six look like, yet you spend almost a paragraph describing each one of them, when it's not necessary. The character interactions are alright, but the main character seems a bit... How to say this nicely... Dense. No reaction to suddenly meeting a unicorn who speaks English, or the Pegasus he hugs twice, yet he is surprised by magic. Nevermind the whole multi-coloured young horses thing, that he could explain away.

5044332 they're in a world where only one species eats meat.

This chapter is way too long

You were worried about the first chapter?

Honestly it's not bad at all. 7.5/10.

My only thing was that he seemed to get over being stranded in another world too quickly. But this is YOUR story and I respect that

Don't worry about what other people say. Make your story YOUR way.

5664404 you are TOO picky

4939418 I get chills when I read a story I really like
sadly this isn't one of them

4754251 you missed the part where he stated she came right back for the group hug. also i feel the characters were represented wonderfully here