A long forgotten element has been brought back, but for better or for worse?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Oh no...
I don't know whether to feel sympathy for them or laugh with Discord...
4667799 Any words of critique you can provide? I tried hard to get the atmosphere just right for this chapter.
Not gonna lie, I skipped over half this chapter because it was so cliche and over the top. Discord was just straight up evil in this chapter and there's nothing that happened that could have reasonably made him evil. Not even absorbing the elements of chaos would have done it.
4667877 Sorry to disappoint. I wrote this largely on bursts of inspiration.
Although to be fair, Discord was quite a douche in Return of Harmony to begin with. I doubt having the Mane Six not fall for his wiles would deter him from doing what is necessary to get what he wants. You saw that look in his eye just before Twilight used a barrier to break his telekinetic grip on her friends before the Elements of Harmony were used on him a second time, right? Pretty diabolical.
Discord was highly antagonistic before his reformation. And as the stained glass window in the episode that depicted him literally toying with three ponies like puppets shows, he took pleasure in messing with them to the point of being miserable. From what I can see from that, Discord was not OOC in this chapter at all. And I made it clear in the story's description that this story begins before Season 3 and that events in the plot in Season 3 and beyond that conflict with this plot are noncanon. Discord's planned reformation is one such event that will not happen here. Not to mention his reformation can be viewed as forced or contrived for the sake of the highly controversial post Season 2 main plotline.
I gotta admit, I'm getting a little anxious. Once James gets a good look at his friends, I will only say, Discord is going to see real Hell real soon.
This is going good so far, can't wait to see how James is going to whip Discord's ass. Sure, Nightmare Moon is given a chance, but Discord... I don't know. You portrayed Discord a little too well.
4668190 I tried to get the four girls down as well as I could while also trying to capture the horror of knowing that they were being corrupted. If I may ask, which of the four POVs left the heaviest impression?
I need more of this, keep it coming. I can't wait for the next chapter please, please hurry this is getting so good.
4668254 Be patient. Need to rest and work on my novel instead for a chapter.
If I may ask, what part of this chapter hit hardest?
4668250 If I had to choose... I'd say Fluttershy. Because she is suffering from the knowledge that her corruption may, no, WILL destroy James. Like I said, once James realizes the truth, Discord will be seeing real Hell soon. Discord dug his own grave before his little "game" even began.
4668269
It was hardest to see such strong wills get broken, especially rarity and fluttershy. If I can add a suggestion can either James also get turned to his darker side or have a James X Flutterbitch scene ;). You'd go down as a brony hero in my books if you did.
4668506 How about choice C - All of the above?
Anyone else seeing james' element going black soon or is just me. Nice knowing you discord.
4668539
If you did all of those you'd have a new follower and some whom is very happy. Of course the brony fandom would also have a new hero. But you do know what I mean when I say James X Flutterbitch right?
4668625 That? Yeah, right. I'm sure that's the last thing she would be interested in. Not to mention it would be uncomfortable as hell for the poor guy. And aggressive mean sex is something I've never tried. The only way I could see that happen is in some sort of dominatrix fetish fic and I am not a porno writer.
4668669
Stranger things have happened my friend. But regardless of what you do I can't wait to read more. Until then I bid you good day.
dude ... discord is so fucked it's not even funny ... even i'm not ready for what he going to do to discord and i'm the god of DEATH ... I've seen every way a man and pony can die and discords death will probably be the worst ever ... i might need glue for piecing his soul back together.
4668744 That sounds kinda like it would be rapey...
This idea intrigues me... moar will come soon.
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDIvMTUvMDlfMDhfMTRfMjQ1XzI0NDE4Nl9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfdHdpbGlnaHRfc3BhcmtsZV9pbWFnZV9tYWNyb19hbGljb3JuX3R3aWxpZ2h0X3Nwb2lsZXJfczAzZTEzX3dpbmdzX3Nvb24ucG5nLnBuZyJdXQ/244186__safe_twilight-sparkle_image-macro_princess-twilight_spoiler-s03e13_wings_soon.png.png
4668937 Or maybe not. This guy does seem like a true immortal that can probably pop his head off and play croquet with it. Probably has at some point too! Special care must be taken to make him vulnerable.....
4668937 Also, your comment is making me giggle like a fool.
4669169 dude i'm taking into acount for the 7th element and his impending MEGA rage at discord. after all we've seen white and gray so who's to say black won't show up if he's pissed if it only turned gray when he did a regular rage quit.
In the next chapter Rainbow Dash feigns being Currupted
4667877
4668050 What if Discord shows this to Twilligt then says "Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?"
James realizes that Discord was lashing out
4669398 Someone's been rooting around in my head lately.
Anyone else have mixed feelings for Discord? The recent chapter reminded me how much I despise Discord but at the same time can't be mad at him in season 3.
4668612 it won't go black. The only way through to the black gem is by Discord. The exact opposite of james... oh good heavens, I don't even want to know what the opposite is. But being on the defense for others will likely make him gray than black. Like our soldiers fighting to protect our country. They are gray, but they are honorary and respectable soldiers.
So in all likelihood, James will end up as a soldier killing the enemy to defend those he cares about... that is if Humanity has other plans in mind.
OK... I seriously don't fucking know where to start. All I know is I'm REALLY pissed the fucking fuck off right now with that mutant fucked-up chaotic bitch, Dickcord! And if James falls to the Black Rage, then by all means man, give that motherfucker a horrible death, or scar him for life if he's still walking.
4670006 Trust me, I actually don't hate the guy at all. Although, to be completely honest, his fate is exactly what I wanted to do to the guy when I first found out way back what he did to Fluttershy.
4670044 What is there to defend when what you once cherished is gone?
Discord is about to remember just what humans are really, really good at. Analyzing the options in cryogenic cold rage, then executing the plan, attack, and enemy in the most efficint way possible.
Violence is the last resort of the incompetant. But, depending, who is competant to reform a God of Chaos?
Then again, no matter how chaotic things get, the thing that drives Discord insane, is that there Has to be order, for chaos to exist.
4669398 Crikey I didn't even think of that. Envy can do terrible things to people after all and there are more then enough sources of envy to cause Discord to act the way he is.
I BUCKING KNEW IT. I knew you would give us feels. Though, Discord is about to learn why he shouldnt mess with a kind hearted human. Because kindness can only tolerate so much. And when you're twisting someones love....then prepare to feel the pain.
4667877
He was always evil. This is the problem with writing Discord, even when it's a rehash of things he's ALREADY CANONICALLY DONE.
I mean, you'd think he was evil if he came and found the only people in the world who are nice and good to you, who you care about and turned them against you. Made them hurt you and hate you. But no, the problem with writing Discord is Discord fans. Villain-apologists. The ones who are always "Waah but the villain wasn't so bad/wasn't bad at all!"
Nightmare Moon = Total destruction of all life on the planet. Stated by Faust herself as the result of Eternal Night, which is what the original G1 Tirek's plan was.
Discord = Controlled Equestria and possibly the world in a reign of chaos that prevented them from living natural lives and having a society, living in terror of an ever-changing world where nothing could be counted upon and no one could be trusted.
Sombra = Controlled a slave nation, had them primed as an army to turn loose on the rest of Equestria. Forcing good people to fight an evil man's war, killing more good people.
Chrysalis = "She was just trying to feed her Changelings!" Yeah, and she led an invasion force to do it. Who knows how many were harmed. Who knows how many more would have been? Living in terror, used as livestock.
ALL the villains have been evil! Writing Discord as evil pre-reformation is ACCURATE. Fucking hell, people. Humanity did Discord right. If you don't like it, you can only blame yourselves - because you literally are the problem.
4671177 You never cease to impress me with your thoughtful analysis. Bravo.
4667845
4669785 You mean Discord's heartbreak?
Nope, it's just what I'd do if I was there with him. I'm still reading the story though, it's fun to read.
Oh no get ready for feels.
Discord's voice is terribly hypnotic...
James is gonna kick (I like Discord too much for me to say this, but oh well!) ass, and possibly put his head on a pike?
Just sayin!
And yet we know that THIS isn't going to be the worst, there's more to come still.
4671523 Only make sure that there's a mountain of pillows to catch them and then warn them that next time there won't be any pillows there!
4671673 If you say so. Just quit it with the Gary Stu crap. It's getting old and there are very many readers who not only find James to be a wonderful OC, but also find him to be highly relateable. I should know, because in hindsight, I have written Gary Stu stories before that I am not proud of. As the very first reviewer I had on Fanfiction.net said;
Just because you personally cannot find yourself relating to a character does not automatically make one a Sue or Stu.
4673240
I was only having fun, don't start rambling about it. Guess I pushed it a bit too far eh?...
4673273 You certainly did. Three comments in a row banging on the exact same subject was definitely overdoing it. One more and I would've blocked you to stop you from gumming up the comments with the same message. Thank you for stopping.
But if you want a real Gary Stu story to gawk at and poke with a stick, check out Somewhere I Belong.
Just looking at the 'achievements' and character of the protagonist blows my mind. It is not often that something is so bad or stupid that it makes me laugh.
4673332
Oh crap! I was that close? Damn...
Really, I do like your story!
Feel free to delete the Gary Stu comments if you wish.
I'll check out 'Somewhere I Belong', 10 euros says I'll facepalm all the way through!
4673379 Have fun. I checked out a thread in the HiE stories forum where one of the posters claimed that the main character of that story, Issac, is the worst human protagonist he has ever seen. It appears his greatest flaw is that he has no set character and is only what the situation requires him to be. If you want to see the list that viewer posted, here's the thread.
The mention of the Thu'um actually cracked me up at how absurd it is. And no. I am not kidding.
4671177 Coming back to this after awhile, I agree with you on all points. In hindsight, my issue was with the uncharacteristic amount of brute force Discord employed and the hasty nature in which he acted rather then the evilness of his actions.
Expanding on this realization, the "surprise" of being beaten a second time would give Discord a greater sense of urgency in future conflicts. Thinking about it, he did seem to employ a greater amount of subterfuge behind his usual flair from that point on. Of course, this new outlook would give Discord the mindset needed to cut the games short and just deal with things quickly if the odds were in his favor, and with greater restraint had they been stacked against him (as they were in the show).
4670191 There is a saying for that...
"Honor the dead, fight like Hell for the living." - Anonymous
4670183 I see. Still, I can't decide whether to pity or hate Discord.
4676990 Not what I meant, but oh well.
4677845 What I mean by that is even if it's too late to save those they've cherished, whether it be mentally, physically or both; it's never too late to protect the others.