A long forgotten element has been brought back, but for better or for worse?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Did James just become the Gary Stu to end all Gary Stus?
Humanity, I just started reading this today, and I'm already going to be checking FIMFiction every morning and night waiting for another update! The amount of character development you put into everyone(pony) and the style of "journaling" is an approach that worked very well. A friend recommended that I read it, and, although I haven't read EVERY single word (curses, 3:00 A.M. and... yeah, some parts were a little strange for me), I love the HiE story and stuff... (though, I don't entirely think you *need* all the mature content, but that's all just my opinion yadda yadda yadda).
Anyways, hope that made sense (damn you, sleepiness) and have a for the storytelling
~Xanadu
1215748
Nope. It's the armor. It's Gary-Stu Armor. Somepony must've put a Gary-Stu curse on the armor.
Ohh, while explained, and certinily useful. shouldent the armor have weaknesses? (other than no helmet, inc brainshot.)
Cause like people above siad, gary stu, All powerful unstoppable main character. Im not saying get rid of it but just make it have some kinda limit.
finish chapter get a new chapter
YES, now we learn about the 7th element! Weeeeewt!
He took a level in Badass! I stiill don't know how you put out 20k+ words in so short a time.
1215920 For full effect, it should be red-and-black, don't you think?
1216221
This was all written before, but due to the previous account being hacked, it was all re-uploaded here.
It's generally a month between updates, but considering the word count per chapter that's not bad at all.
1216391
So why you gotta make us wait, if it's already done? Editing? I want it naow!
I so totally wish that he could just surprise all of us and just hammer out chapter after chapter in a single day. That would make me sooooo happy
1216555
This is the most recent chapter that the author has written, hence why they were all uploaded so swiftly.
I would imagine that the author didn't upload all the chapters at once so that his/her story could be seen by others who would have otherwise missed it. Hell, I found the first chapter of this story as a random image on ponibooru a year ago, and I only found it here by total chance. (when I first found the fic it was unnamed, and I had no way of contacting the author)
Did i just see a Dissidia reference?
Most of all a reference to one of "Warrior of Light's" HP attacks? *cough*Ultimate Shield*cough
perfect scene in the front of the castle *twilight and friends planning a plan*
alrighty girls thumbs up lets do this LEYROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH A JENKIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS
*twilight*
oh my god he just ran in
STICK TO THE PLAN LEYROH
GOD DAMNIT LEYROH
at least im not chicken!
Even though it scares the crap out of me, I just had to...t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSEPyNr_VxrP1e7J-iNayf90kb1fEgZzHreGT7OjuqE-LtgIFPdVg&t=1
1215748
Ultra Megary Stu.
1216726
Well, honestly, it's not about being overpowered or something that makes a Gary Stu. James is a different sort of Gary Stu. Suddenly winds up in Equestria, everyone loves him, everyone's attracted to him, no one's really put off by how temperamental and over-sensitive he can get... Fluttershy wanted him to impregnate her before even being married... all this in under two weeks.
Frankly, I pass up a couple hundred fics like this a year, yet the one difference here is that your good writing makes me compelled to follow it despite all of the cliche Reverse Stu-isms. His meek and unassuming nature, feeling unwelcome and mistreated at first, coming from an emotionally abusive life... all these things are key notes of a Reverse Stu (we really need an official name for this, guys) but now he's combined Reverse Stu and Gary Stu all at once.
Not to mention this obsession with redeeming NMM, who is confirmed for being a genocidal villain, an evil entity that possessed Luna. All at the word of Lauren Faust herself. You can't just forgive something like that. That'd be like petting Hitler on the head and telling him it'll be alright, that people don't have to hate him when they know he's sad about the ovens and the Jews or something. Sure, she was stopped before she managed to kill off plant and animal life in Equestria, but that's still heavy-duty no-no stuff right there.
So, my criticisms are basic. A lot of people are going to pass this up due to the Stu-ism, but your writing skills still manage to make even this an enjoyable and entertaining read. Which honestly leaves me shocked, as I tend to hate HiE fics, and I'm an avid detractor of Stus. They normally feel more like something that belongs in a diary of "I wish I was in Equestria" rather than being shared. But this does feel like it was meant to be shown to others.
1230785 I started reading this because flawed heroes with the best of intentions are inherently more interesting than the one-dimensional kind.
Then TWOO WUB in under ten days. Speaking as an old married dude, just...no. I can certainly see someone who's not terribly mature can BELIEVE he's in love inside of a fortnight, but at some point, an older, concerned friend is going to pull you aside.
"Okay," I think, "my suspension of disbelief is strained, but let's just roll with it."
Then the duel. Then the sword, shield, and armor. Then two-score-and-ten zombies. Zombies who can curse you with a touch. Granted, you've hugged one of them before, but what the hell?
The redemption of NMM I can kind of understand. If the Elements banish/contain evil, then whatever is in that ruined tower should have been evil-free, right? Until I read the next chapter, I was assuming that NMM was still too weak to leave, so she was trying to get her friend's attention the only way she could. You know, the only friend she has. The one who walked out eight months ago and never once came back.
Yeah, that's kind of a douche move, too.
1230785 I just call Reverse Stu the 'Emo Effect' Just sayun..
"it would appear I am not the only spy"- Flim hiding in a bush watching Main character monologue about NightmareMoon
seriously though he has a good point and now he can defend anyone.....ANYONE (foreshadowing!?!?!?!?!)
hope he doesn't get banished for this little plan of his
he's forgetting about the zombies, yes? from what I've read, all they need is no sunlight, or no light from those lamps they have in orer to show their true forms. . .
DUN DUN DUUUNN
I recently made an account on this website, so I wanted to begin leaving reviews for stories that I've always enjoyed, but never could until now.
With yours, I want to say just how much I simply enjoy the writing; it's the one thing above all that I'm enjoying.....do I like every single idea that you've done? Honestly no...James' behavior toward Diamand Tiara was less then perfect for me (going after her cutie mark the way he did felt like "two wrongs don't make a right"), and, particularly here, with getting this new armor, felt wrong to me....not so much because whether or not it was original or not, like other reviewers were talking about, but because I personally didn't feel it matched his character; you've done such a good job in creating and expressing a nonviolent sweetheart....he even has doves for cutie marks - the idea of him wearing armor and wielding a sword....just felt wrong; like it went against all that. I would have preferred not going that way, and simply resolving conflicts the everyday way he's done so far - with patience and words, not with having weaponry.
But I suppose, with his playful interest in swords, I can understand going this way -- all and all, I'm not complaining all that much because, again, the writing is just so fun to read...it's one of those stories that's really grown on me, and even if their's an idea that I dislike or wish you didn't do, it hasn't stopped me from reading simply because of how enjoyable it is.
I"m gonna continue reading, and hope to see more from you in the future :).
rereading it, all i got to say is dat armour, my god the level of envy i am going through, that probably would be the most desired possession i could ever wish for
Hoof, meet opposable thumb. Opposable thumb, meet hoof.
...pffffft....
I guess it gives a whole new meaning to "shove it where the sun don't shine" then?
Loving the story, lots of jokes and references which are great, and it's just brilliant to read, even if I do skip over the clop sections. *shrugs* it's not my cup of tea, but if you like writing that stuff and other people enjoy it, then I'm not about to complain about it. Keep up the good work!
1218365 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NICE
Did James do the Spirit Ball Attack on Estoc?
Query: Is the insomnia important?
James' progress thus far...
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TqwOC6KI88Q
'Nuff said...
4673498
watching that video carefully, I have concluded nightmare moon was not Luna's doing...
I need to see a picture of James in a badass pose wearing his armour while holding both his sword and shield and also with his wings opened wide
*imagines it*
James you lucky bastard
I love the captain America thing he did
Things are about to get intense!
My god he can be super man!
She said the name of the story... roll the credits.
I'll take it. As long as there's none of this.
8780867
memories
Well, consider me pleasantly surprised. I am thoroughly entertained!
I love how James mentioned Nightmare Moon despite knowing what harm they could do to her. While I know everything will turn out fine and I hope for the best, (as well as hope of a finding a possible romance for Miss Moon) I understand that was such a difficult decision for him to make.
I'm may not be on board the JamShy ship, but the interactions between James and the cast and the world of Equestria always keeps me going.
"The night wins," and eating clouds did get a chuckle out of me.
De-fence! De-fence! De-fence!
Finally got through this chapter!
Wow, took quite some time, but glad I got through it.
I will say, the whole armor and swords feels like Celestia brought James to the Bethesda Dev Room in Skyrim and grabbed the best stuff, I'm guessing that future antagonists at this point will either have to be extremely powerful to be relevant, otherwise this thing will just wash over the minor threats like Trixie w/ the Alicorn Amulet, which is a bit unfortunate. I do share the sentiment with some of the comments here that he should have gotten some lower level stuff until there was a much bigger threat down the line and his training was something gradual before something like this. Hopefully there is a real big limit to how much he can use this thing/it's power or whatever.
I do remember you saying before that your stuff has gotten better so I'll take your word for it.
Would you be able to explain what this means?
11452768
Another way of saying “tomboy”.
as a kid i used to love waking up so early that it was still dark outside, dk why those days used to make me super energetic for the rest of the day
OH GOD v2
JESSE WE HAVE TO BAKE
is he talking about this?
11655285
Think Dissidia.
oh god v3
Just read the chapter, excited to see how james aquires the lost element. also, i realise i shouldnt have read the prolouge before this, takes the suspense out of the scene where they mention "HIM". meh still continuing to see it fold out.
11655295
ohh. that looks so cool