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"Only the most subtle of references." -No fanfiction writer ever


What's the deal with ponies? Squint just a little and you can't tell one from the next.
Ember doesn't even need to squint to get the effect.
Who would have guessed that a Dragonlord would have problems that needed more than just an application of violence?

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 121 )

I knew someone would make a story based on this artwork! :ajsmug:

dear mama of luna. that would give poor ember an angresem.

This was a delightfully fun read! I love it! Had me laughing all the way through.

I'd initially pegged Ember as having some form of colour-blindness, but doesn't seem to be the case.

Man, colour must be really low on the list of identifying markers used by dragons if she could confuse Sunset Shimmer with Twilight and Starlight. The latter two at least have some similarity in hues. :twilightoops:


Others too, but they weren't important enough for me to give them handy monikers.

Eh, it's what they get for being side characters, I guess. :rainbowlaugh:

Aside from a few giants like Celestia and Night Celestia

Aw, poor Luna--even in the eyes of the dragons she's perpetually stuck in the shadow of her big sister.

Maybe ponies just had a magical sense that let them tell who was who.

Well, science does suggest creatures are genetically attuned to have the appropriate facial recognition for their respective species, but that doesn't always carry over when applying that to other species outside of their own.

So...why is EqG Ember not a dog? Or is she actually, in which case that conversation could've gotten even more bizarre for Ember, had Sunset gotten further into it? :rainbowlaugh:

Ember's inner labels for everypony were gold. Especially Ponylord Celestia.

Maybe color does not register to Dragons born in the dragon lands.
I would say it is because Dragons in the EQG-verse are dogs, but Ember is confirmed human girl over there so...fudge Spike i guess?
It's probably because they do not put much emphasis on color; like no one is ever mad that Krackle is around even though he is obnoxious to look at

Oh, you sneaky devil. You even had the tag as Rarity!

A delightful, hilarious read :twilightsmile:.

Poor Ember. I know the feeling, loads of times I meet people who know me and who I have no clue who they are.

She mentions patterns but not colors. Maybe Dragons just have shit colour recognition? That would absolutely make recognizing ponies hellish. Even ties up with the whole Spike Dog thing: he never mentioned the different way the world looked in the EQG world. Maybe all dragons only see a more muted, less colorful world as a trade off for that better recognition of patterns and rock formations on the dragon land and eyes that won't pop like eggs on a microwave when they swim on lava?

Man I love L O R E.

Ember might be color blind.

Three especially identical ponies with no way to tell them apart

One of them is WHITE! Not even a shade of purple - WHITE!
The only purple on her is her hair! Not her fur!

I put eggs on a microwave - nothing happened. Not even when I was cooking something else in the microwave.

You know, the running commentary on how alien and disorienting she finds pony society does a LOT to explain why she seems pony-faceblind. It would be a bit easier if she was only interacting with ponies but EVERYTHING makes no sense to her.

Someone really needs to give her the hint about colors though. I wonder if she’s colorblind and nocreature told her because Dragonlord?

Edit: Actually that would make a lot of sense. Rarity and Sunset are similar brightness, so are Twilight and Starlight. And I don’t think she mentioned color once in this fic! That plus being deeply disoriented and keeping track of a zillion things at once.

Anyway, cool bit of ponies through alien eyes. And funny on top of it!

Where's that confirmed?

Speaking of things that are confirmed, dogs are better than people.

Were they raw eggs in the shell?

Unless there were multiple unicorns named Twilight around, but what were the chances of that?

Decent, but not 100% - there's Princess Twilight Sparkle, there's her mother Twilight Velvet, and then there's the occasional extradimensional visitor, Twilight Sparkle.
Who knows, one of the latter two could visit the former at any time.

Yes. They just sat on top of the microwave. No explosion.

Hilarious concept executed well. I admit I was stumped who it was too.

Night celestia is best pony

Twilight! Yes! I held in the urge to loose a victory roar. That locked down one pony for sure. Unless there were multiple unicorns named Twilight around, but what were the chances of that?

*looks back at the long line of Twilights stretching back to the hero of Dream Valley* yeah, what are the odds of that?

We can start with Twilight Velvet, her own mother. :rainbowlaugh:

Unicorns, especially, have a lot of them named after astronomical things and light.

Let's see, uh...

  • Twilight Shimmer
  • Trixie Light
  • Sunset Lulamoon
  • Starlight Sparkle
  • Starswirl Glimmer
  • Night Velvet

See, lots of em.

Gotta love those typos, huh? But yeah, eggs explode in the microwave.

That’s hilarious

OH no where official
In this story Sunset though Ember was a Girl...2(?) years older than her who owned a Shop with her dad.

Also most aminals are better than people.

Even I got suckered into thinking that the pony with Ember is Rarity. Sunset is so out of nowhere. And yet at the same time, it makes so much sense upon rereading.
My personal headcanon as to why dragons can't tell ponies apart is because practically every pony has the same body model, compared to dragons who have at least a dozen of them not including horns, spines and other stuff, making ponies less distinct by comparison.
If put into a human example, it would be like walking into a kindergarten hall where everyone is the same height and has the same face. With the only differentiating factors being the hair and uniforms. You will go crazy looking for a certain student.

EDIT: You might want to start linking to the artist for cover picture. You (may) have promised.

I just HAD to thumb up that ENTIRE conversation! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Also, given how argumentative dragons can be, it might be hazardous to suggest they're color blind, since it's possible they could very well see colors--it's just not the same colors we can. It could be that a dragon's vision is totally in the infrared region of the spectrum.
Let's not forget, the spread of colors in our "visible spectrum" is essentially 1 Octave when compared to the range we have for hearing sound (~10 or so for the human audible range). An Octave is defined as from 1 C-note to the next C-note, either above or below, but the difference between each C-note is a doubling of the frequency. Where we measure Red to Violet, the frequency range goes from 4 × 1014 to 8 × 1014 Hz.
Perhaps for dragons, their spectrum could be downshifted to range from 2 × 1014 to 4 × 1014 Hz or even 1 × 1014 to 2 × 1014 Hz.
Such thing may have been said to dragons in the past, where the dragons reacted violently to the idea since they can indeed see a spectrum of colors--just a different "red", a different "orange", a different "yellow", etc. Thus, ponies became to see the wisdom of not suggesting the idea anymore.

"I was supposed to meet up with Spike to practice some dragon flight moves, but he wasn't at the train station like he was supposed to be." I might as well give her some friendly advice while I'm at it, that seems like a friendship sort of thing to do. "Your town is really badly planned."
Twilight grimaced—an expression surprisingly identical to a dragon's—and nodded. "Don't I know it. That's what happens when a band of farmers and traders pitch their tents wherever they feel like then spend a century growing a town around it. Next time some monster levels half of downtown, I'm pushing for a grid system."

TBH, I almost expected Ember to volunteer to help out with that. :rainbowwild:

The stream of consciousness is beautifully written. You really captured Ember's personality as a rough and tough dragon that means well.

If Spike turned into a dog in the mirror pool, wouldn't mirror Ember be a dog as well...?
That looks a harem story waiting to happen. :rainbowlaugh:

That cover is pretty funny...

But man, I nearly started giggling uncontrollably on activating Reader Mode on my phone, and seeing it in grey scale. :rainbowlaugh:

Height? Aside from a few giants like Celestia and Night Celestia, they were all about the same.

Woona angwy! (insert picture of Filly Luna being angry)

Who would have guessed that a Dragonlord would have problems that needed more than just an application of violence?

Well it might not need it but you could make one more recognizable with it... Okay they probably wouldn't be your friend anymore and you'd be a horrible person, but you could solve it with violence. :pinkiecrazy:

Is this a joke on Ember's behalf? None of those were right. You even declared Twilight's father and mother to be the same pony.

It takes me AGES to remember people's names. I feel for Ember here.

How did ponies even tell each other apart?
Height? Aside from a few giants like Celestia and Night Celestia, they were all about the same.

Rumor says Lunas ear suddenly twitched.

Don't I know it. That's what happens when a band of farmers and traders pitch their tents wherever they feel like then spend a century growing a town around it.

:ajbemused:: "Are you implying something?"
:twilightsheepish:: "No?"

The quiet flyer, the fruit one, the dragon-like one, and the insane one

well you cant say it dosnt fit them.

She sees every pony as one of those YCH ponies:

I was already giggling at this picture.
Then I saw Starlight.

Nice story. 👍 Ember needs a reference book on everypony in Equestria. :rainbowlaugh:

I'd say that's a joke.

you see starlight in there somewhere? o.o

Or Raritoy, the one he just hung around sometimes.

You did that on purpose didn't you?

Also, very clever that you didn't use the Sunset Shimmer Tag leaving us guessing like Ember

Ponylord Celestia... Night Celestia? Jeez, Ember... Get your talent tats straight!

This was a delight to read. "Ponylord Celestia" and "Night Celestia" are the funniest titles I've heard for the two sisters yet. Nice job.

Perhaps better night vision at the expense of color acuity. (A common trade-off in vision between various animals since rods and cones compete for space) Similar colors would blend together more. Not color blindness per-se, but like saying that humans can see 16 million colors while dragons might see only 16 (not literally of course). Yellow more readily blends to white than purple does. So Ember could easily mistake a yellow hue for something closer to white. (And it is important to remember that when you don't HAVE fine color acuity, you never develop the processing ability to realize what you aren't distinguishing two colors.)

Top this off with a life spent around ONLY dragons and Ember lacks the ability to recognize finer features of pony body and face structure. It would be like sending me, a Texan, to Korea and asking me to pick a couple of Koreans I've met for the combined total of half an hour out of a crowd... While my vision is forcefully impaired so that I can only see in 32 colors.

But there's a lot of reasons this story is excellent, but as someone with name and face blindness, and grew up with twin sisters, I could completely relate

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