On one sunny bright afternoon, Luna was about to have her lunch, when she realized someone had stolen it!
Chaos, mystery and madness follow.
Chapters (1)
Aurora Sparks
Joined 1st May, 2020 ·
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Er... okay, so apparently Yaks grow bread directly from the ground. How efficient!
Wise thinking.
So yeah, there are some grammatical errors here, some punctuation errors there, but overall, it wasn't bad for a first story! Nice job!
That was golden!
I’m always kinda iffy when I read my friends stories because I don’t wanna just be like “hey that was amazing” just because I know them. But I’m being honest - this is great! I wasn’t sure what to expect - some people can write good comedy and others can’t- but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked this.
There were only a couple, little errors, but it’s understandable (ya can’t catch em all) and didn’t take away from the story at all.
10295515
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I honestly thought that it came out better than expected, apart from the grammatical errors and punctuation problem, I think I did well.
Yay!!
Thank you so much for your feedback!! I really appreciate it!
10295494
Thanks for your feedback!
I'll try and catch those pesky grammatical errors when I can, they will never escape again!
This was comedy gold! Just a few mistakes here and there, but it was still amazing. Keep up the awesome stories!!
10295539
Thanks! So glad you enjoyed it!
I'll try to fix those errors. They can run, but they can't hide!
10295526
I recommend Grammarly as an assistive tool. They are quite effective when it comes to basic grammatical errors!
10295558
Okay, I try and get it. I think it might help.
stole her sandwich there are consequence celestia
10295699
Proofreader or beta reader is also an option.
Most amusing, at any rate. Does Mango have a second name or is it a mononym like Rarity?
10295999
I'm sure he'll be so excited!
Mango doesn't have a last name. But if you can make one up for him, I'll let him keep it.
Decent story. Seen worse, seen better, but this is still good. Seen a lot worse grammar, this only has a couple mistakes.
10296564
Well Mango Chutney is the one that first comes to mind, but that doesn't seem quite right. :P
Presumably Mango is due to being a bat pony who may or may not need fruit like fruit bats...
Oooh, brainstorm! What about Mango Preserve? It has 2 meanings. ;)
Did you ever say what his cutie mark was?
10299207
I like all those names!
His cutie mark should probably be a mango with a spear through it.
10299862
Chutney is a type of condiment, it didn't seem appropriate. It's just that Mango Chutney rolls off the tongue.
And ah, interesting.
10299879
Mango Chutney, Mango Chutney, Mango Chutney. I see what you mean.
10299946
Yeah. But I like the name Mango Preserve (or Preserves) better for a guard. Maybe his parent could be Mango Chutney.
10301183
Yeah, I guess that fits more for a guard. But I still like Mango Chutney. But we can go with Mango Preserve.
10301373
Hey it's your character, I'm just giving my rambling opinion. But if you are open to suggestions, Mango Chutney sounds like a mare's name to me. Maybe mother or sister? Heck they could be former or current guards too.
10302102
Maybe Mango can have a twin sister named Mango Chutney! That sounds like a good idea!
10302202
Ooh I like that idea.
Oh my gosh. That ending was awesome!! I WANT MORE LIKE THIS
10312380
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you!
The moment I read the name I knew exactly who to suspect.
(Except I expected a mare, but otherwise I was correct.)
Let me guess: The guard was at most five meters away?
Stop right there, criminal scum!
How long until the night guard is broke?
Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
10915390
Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it
What a cute little story!! Thank you for sharing it