• Member Since 26th Apr, 2020
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

rice


E
Source

This is a collection of all my speedwritings that are too short to be posted on their own.

These speedwrites will have minimal to no editing.

Although the rating right now is Everyone, I may change the rating to Teen if needed be.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 8 )

Rice, I'm floored at the quality of this, and I'm sorry that it took me a while to get to it. In this one scene, with these few words, you managed to tell an entire story. It may not have been the most bombastic story, and it might not have been to a large scale, but it's not a story about those, really, it's a story about emotion. And of that emotion, I'm genuinely amazed.

Octavia performing for nopony is a powerful image in and of itself, and the fact that she sees herself in that emptiness is also great! The fact that every sullen note echoes through both is a testament to how alone and pained she feels, but also serves to amplify the notes themselves. The bitterness of tears only serving to add to this. When I read this, I felt it. It's a very particular feeling, sadness entangled with loneliness, and as I said before, the performance only served to give this feeling a physical and musical form. That she both played the song of that feeling, but also heard it. I can't overstate how great this is, and how much it deserved to win! Congrats again, and extremely great work! I marvel your work now, and wait impatiently to see where it will go!

“Black cats are baaaad luck! How do you not know that?”

That's racist Pinkie :pinkiegasp:

Eh, I'm not sure how I feel about these stories. The Octavia story uses too many fancy words to the point that they fail to have impact. Although very short, it lacks focus.

The other three chapters...lack depth. Okay, what's the point of each of the four short stories? The first speedwrite: Rarity is disgusted for having just eaten shrimp. The second speedwrite: Pinkie learns to let go of her superstitions. The third speedwrite: Spike and Twilight share breakfast together. The fourth speedwrite: Octavia is lonely. And...that's it.

I think what I really hoped to see was a transformation of the prompt. Something that evokes more than just the words of the prompt. For example, Pinkie's scared of the black cat, but I don't really "feel" the fear that she's feeling. Octavia is lonely, but I don't really "feel" that loneliness. It feels like reading a sequence of events more than anything.

Not bad for a speedwrite though. I took longer to write this comment than it took you to write one of the chapters...:twilightblush:

That being said, this is just my opinion, and you can take it for what it's worth. If you enjoy it, don't stop writing! :pinkiehappy: I hope you will write more fleshed-out stories in the future.

Oh, Rarity, you think this was bad? Ask Cheerilee what she had to endure in two separate dates, one sitting across a foul-breathed date who enjoyed onion and garlic-flavored gum and later devoured a dish of steaming durian curry. The other date involved several dishes at a five-star griffin-oriented restaurant.
Cheerilee's Thousands Those weren't the worst dates Cheerilee survived, but they did make her quite queasy.

I'm loving this story already!

"Huh, looks like my Daw Meter broke. I just need to get it repair–"
ALERT: You can no longer react to adorable things. Damages sustained to your irreplaceable Daw Meter are irreversable.
"Well, sh–" The reader's eyes darted to the top of the page and slowly skimmed the chapter. Suddenly, a surge of infectious squeeing overloaded the reader with cuteness-fueled energy. "It's so wholesome! It's so... so–"

Shakily, the reader stumbled out of their house, wheezing and coughing. Debris clung to their clothes, irated their skin and eyes, and powdered their hair. The roof and all but one wall had given in to the shockwave of an ear-shattering squeal of delight, leaving the formerly well-kept house in a wreck.
"Meh, totally worth it," the reader dismissed.

I AM CHARGED!!!

Oh, ow! This hurts...
Poor Octavia. This is kind of an inverted A Puppet to Her Fame.

10416927
After this comment, I just had to see for myself, and ended up reading the entire story in less than a day! Poor Cheerilee, indeed.

Aw, poor Sweetie! She's....she's doing her best.
I can certainly see why Rarity was so insistent on showing her how to make her favorite quiche, or otherwise teaching her how to cook in the Sisterhooves Social episode!

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