• Member Since 26th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Rated Ponystar


"You think you know me..."

T

Yona and Sandbar have been going steady for about 3 months now, and all their other friends find it cute. However, maybe they've gone too fast in this relationship when Sandbar tells them they've done... IT!

Thanks to Darth Link 22 and CrackedInkWell for helping edit this.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 68 )

You should've rated this as mature just for kicks. :)

classic xD good work and that ending, no one of his friend's better find that book xD

And now you know why you don't play the pronoun game, Sandbar. :rainbowlaugh:

This was funny they really thought Sandbar, Yona, Rarity, Twilight and Celestia done...IT( sex):rainbowlaugh:

OMG this was priceless!:rainbowlaugh:

I liked it, was a fun read. Only recommendation I have would be to remove the "puking" part. Kinda overkill on the reaction and not really warranted in that situation. Is thinking of Rarity so gross that it can cause you to vomit?

9855734
It was thinking that Rarity was doing a threesome with Yona and Sandbar. Keep in mind Rarity is an adult while Yona and Sandbar are teens.

I am choosing to believe that Ocellus was flustered largely because she’s annoyed that she couldn’t be next door and get a great spicy meal. And her bit at the end about orgies and inner purity is because she didn’t want to run the risk of getting fat. Like, really fat.

I didn’t know Gallus wrote stories?

Well that was pretty funny.

“Oh, sweet tap-dancing Thorax help me...” Ocellus whispered,

Haha! I guess Thorax has officially reached the status of becoming an expression like Celestia and Luna.

9855818
Let’s be real, you can easily imagine Thorax tap-dancing. And it’s probably pretty sweet.

EDIT:
And then I was listening to this and now can’t get tap-dancing Thorax out of my head.

Gallus! My boy, why you writing erotica of your best friends?!

9855747

I like to think she didn't want to be tempted into leaping onto a certain dragon and confessing her feelings. XD

9855743
i'm not seeing any real issue there, but then again, that's me
also, loving the covert shipper gallus there
nice touch

Oh my, Gallus is such a weirdo. :trollestia:

Ahh classic misunderstandings.

9855869
Dammit I have something for this, but I’m stuck at work.

I’ll be back.

What we got here is failure to communicate

https://m.

I can imagine what will Spike say to his friends as he tells it like it is with his relationship with Gabby,

9855927
Looking forward to it! XD

9855869
Right. Thought this up when you made this comment but at work on an iPhone wasn't the best place to type it up.

Also now there is a slightly expanded version of the below posted as a story in its own right here, posted with Rated Ponystar’s permission. This version will stick around for posterity.

Smolder awoke when the door to the dorm room opened and the dim hall light crept in. There had barely been any noise, but dragons were light sleepers, at least as long as they weren't bedding down for a century-nap. Opening her eyes just a crack, she saw Ocellus. Or rather, she saw a snake, but the snake had familiar patterns and closed the door after itself with its tail. Snakes weren't that polite, whereas Ocellus was more than polite enough to close a door after herself and even turn herself into a snake so as to make the minimum amount of noise.

"Didn't work," Smolder mumbled, rolling onto her stomach. "Woke up."

"Oh," the snake said. There was a flash of blue fire, and Ocellus was back to her normal amazing technicolor lovebug self. Smolder grinned a little at the sight, but hid it by burying her face in her pillow as Ocellus spoke up again. "I'm sorry."

"S' okay." Or that was what Smolder tried to say, anyway, but with her mouth in her pillow it was a bit closer to "mmm hmm-ffmmm". Ocellus seemed to get the intent, anyway.

"I didn't mean to stay out so late. I was just...full. Very full. Trying to walk it off."

"Mmmph."

"Because of...you know. Sandbar. And Yona. And everycreature else...talking. And feeling."

Dragons of course always felt heat rushing through their bodies, but a particularly warm flush went to Smolder's cheeks. "Mmmph," she repeated, tail flicking under her covers. She used her claws to hold them down. She tilted her head a little so that she could actually speak. "Something 'bout inner purity."

Ocellus was doing that thing she did. Blushing and trying to hide it by turning her face away, but that just gave the observer a better view of the other half of her face. It was cute, Smolder had to admit. "Um...there wasn't a lot of love, but there was the, um...the other emotion, and it was everywhere, and it's very rich. Filling. Not nutritious, really, but...like cake. Like four big cakes all in one room and I was the only one who was eating them."

"Mmmph."

"I don't want to get fat."

Smolder did nothing to hide her chuckle. She shifted, laying her arms on her pillow and her head on her arms. She used a claw to indicate the tiny, lanky changeling, the smallest of her friends. "You of all creatures don't have to worry about that."

"Mmmph," Ocellus said, echoing Smolder. She did the cute blushing thing again, made cuter by using one foreleg to rub another. "U-um...a-and also, I was...uh...j...jealous."

That was a new word from Ocellus, and Smolder smiled. "Jeaaalousss...?" She purred, turned so she was on her side, one hand now resting on her hip, claws drumming a beat on the sheet that covered her. Behind her, her tail wagged again, but she kept its movement slow lest she drag the sheet off. "Do tell."

Ocellus turned to look directly at Smolder, or as directly as any creature with compound eyes could look at anything. In spite of that, though, she was shaking just a little. "B...because...because it would mean...th-that Sandbar and Yona...did...it, first. Before any of the rest of us." She licked her lips. "Before...us."

Smolder drummed her claws on her hip, but otherwise remained quiet for several seconds, drawing it out. She knew that Ocellus would do cute things around her to promote little emotional reactions from her, and looking right at her and saying what she'd said and how she'd said it had to be intentional, too. It had been a little unnerving to think about at first, but now Smolder thought of it like little love-bites. Which is exactly what they were. And of course, the great thing about changelings was that if you knew you were looking at one - that one was nibbling on your emotions - you could change your mood, pick their meals.

Ocellus had assured her that it wasn't any different from a creature feeling an emotion and expressing that emotion, thereby causing others around them to adopt that emotion too. Emotions, she'd said, were like fire. They spread out from one creature to the next to the one after that, warming and caressing everything they touched. Changelings just got a few extra benefits from emotions that other creatures didn't.

"So," Smolder said at last. "How jealous were you?"

Ocellus took a tiny step forward. "A little."

"A little?'

"...a lot."

"Shouldn't be jealous of some creature for having something you don't."

"I wasn't jealous of something I thought Yona and Sandbar had." Another tiny step forward. "I was jealous of what I thought they'd lost."

Smolder chuckled. Her tail reached over her leg, its tip curled just a little, and when she started drawing it back, the bed sheet went with it, an inch at a time. "I'm a dragon. I don't get that. Isn't it always better to have things?"

"Not everything."

"I dunno..." Smolder sang in a low voice. "I think this thing we're talking about is pretty valuable."

"Mm-hmm," Ocellus said. A much larger step this time. She was right up next to Smolder's bed, looking down at the dragon. The bedsheet was no longer covering Smolder. Her claws tapped out a steady rhythm on her hip's scales.

"Irreplaceable." Smolder spread her wings out behind her, stretching them, popping the joints. Arched her back a little too.

Ocellus licked her lips, and wobbled just a little. Smolder's smile grew at the visible sign of how good her emotions - one in particular - must have tasted. Ocellus put one hoof on the bed's edge. "Not irreplaceable." She leaned down. "Trade-able. But only once. One." She leaned down. "Time." Her other hoof came forward and rested on Smolder's shoulder. She came forward, leaned into the bed, brought her head right up so that her mouth was only a tiny tremor away from Smolder's lips. "Only."

Oooh...Smolder wasn't sure who was manipulating who's emotions at this point. And she didn't care. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Ocellus. Their eyes closed as their lips met. Neither had mouths really designed for kissing, but they made it work as Smolder rolled onto her back, holding the changeling tightly so she lay on top of her. Ocellus was more delicate. It would be better if they started with her on top.

The kiss ended. Ocellus started to draw head head back, back, but Smolder held her close, opening her eyes and looking deep into Ocellus' own. The changeling had hit all the right buttons tonight. First cute. Then coy. And finally, playing on her greed. Her draconic desire to have things. To take things. She'd already taken a lot of other "firsts" from Ocellus, built a private horde of intimate memories...and tonight that horde was going to get its crown jewel. And for every one of those firsts, Ocellus built her own horde of firsts from Smolder. A horde that Smolder could share, for as long as she had Ocellus. And dragons didn't give things up easily.

"Mine." It was a growl, a statement of fact and a promise, all in one.

Ocellus grinned down at her, leaned down, gently nibbled on her neck. Smolder's toes curled. "Yours," Ocellus responded.

Smolder made a mental note to remember to thank Sandbar at some point tomorrow. She wouldn't tell him what for. Unless Ocellus wanted to, of course. Lord it over them in proper draconic fashion.

But that was tomorrow. Tonight...tonight was her and her lovebug.

Ok Gallus being a romance novelist I did Not see coming.

9856299

... *Thunderous Applause*

Seriously, I am blown away!

9856299

Please, for the love of Luna on her throne, pleeeease tell me you'll incorporate Smolder into Lunaverse next!

9856323
I’ll see what I can do. Sadly the fact that the world was already so developed makes it had to bring in the full Young Six. Sandbar, Gallus, and Smolder would be easy enough. The Lunaverse world map doesn’t leave room for Yakyakistan on the main continent of Cissanthema, but I could place it in the lower parts of Rime (a northern continent analogous to Antarctica, but, y’know, in the north), or in Occidenta (not!Asia).

There’s been a Hippogriff State on the map since the beginning but we haven’t done anything with it. It’d be fairly easy to add, but seaponies on the other hand have a completely different origin, so Silverstream would probably remain a hippogriff full time (also a name like “Hippogriff State” doesn’t lead me to think of it being a monarchy).

Oh, and of course, Ocellus was already added last year. :twilightsmile:

9856343
Yeah, that's the same problem I have in wanting to work them into my own stories: I love the characters, but the specific setting that allowed for most of their development doesn't exist in my stories (I have a few issues with the Friendship School as established in the show), so I'd be putting them in but it'd be hard to get them to the same place character-wise that made me want to incorporate them in the first place. Frustrating.

But even if they are different, it's still a delight to see them: as was the case with alien Ocellus in your Ling stories.

Still, I am awed and blown away that you'd write up a 1K scenelet based on a comment I made. You made my night!

9856347
Wait, 1K? I wasn't keeping track, I wrote it in the comments field. How close is it to actually being 1K...1264? That's more than two hundred words over the FiMFic minimum.

Hey, 9855743, would you be okay with me publishing this? I'd of course give full credit back to this story. And to you as well, Trinary.

9856352

1,239 words, if my Word doc's counter is accurate.

HA! "Bluefeather G", huh?

What I'm trying to figure out why Sandbar thought he needed to refer to it as "it" in the beginning at all. I mean, obviously he would've saved everybody some discomfort if he hadn't. :rainbowlaugh:

Hah! I knew he meant dancing, that part with Rarity literally gave all the answera.

HOLY #@!&! I couldn’t stop laughing while reading this!:rainbowlaugh: Poor girls, they need some serious brain bleach.:pinkiesick: And Gallus better hope none of his friends find his fanfics. Great job with this story!

this gor enjoy this fanfic

Gallus ships Sandbar and Yona. XD

Wow! That was awesome! :rainbowlaugh:

Dan

Why does this disturb Celli-chan? Are hardcore lustful emotions literally distasteful to changelings?

I knew it was going to be a comical misunderstanding, but that doesn't make it any less hilarious.

I always love misunderstood comedy; espicially this segment from YGOTAS:rainbowlaugh:

That was hilarious XD

This is what happens when you play the Pronoun Game.

:duck: For Spikey and I it was a little awkward at first but with proper rhythm it was fabulous
:twilightoops: Did you use any protection?
:moustache: Of course we had all the Royal Guards as back up, In case I came up short
:facehoof:
:raritywink: You were splendid darling...
:rainbowlaugh: It takes two to get tangled

Alright, well I'm officially in stitches. What really got me was actually "What? I sleep here."

There was a long silence as a confused Sandbar tilted his head upon the looks he was getting. All four of his friends were staring at him with wide eyes and jaws wide open. Gallus dropped his cards in shock while blushing as Smolder suddenly slapped herself to make sure she was hearing right. Ocellus had turned bright red to the point that she was almost as red as an apple while Silverstream had crumbs from her half-eaten cupcake drop from her mouth.

Smolder; SMACK! Heehee, that mental image had me giggling.

I came, I read, I was thoroughly entertained. :rainbowlaugh:

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