Sunset Shimmer's been informed of the Cozy Glow debacle, and now she's worried about Cozy’s human counterpart. Is it wrong to suspect someone based on their parallel self’s sins? Snappy character vignette that gives equal POV time to Sunset and human Cozy trying to figure out just what the other’s deal is.
Teen rating for depictions of mental illness and Cozy’s casual use of crass language. Cover image made by me slapping some EG vectors on top of each other in Microsoft Powerpoint.
Chapters (4)
It really makes me wonder how Equestrian Cozy could have fared with proper help. The only allusion I remember to mental health being a thing in the show was a comically crazy pony from... I think it was "Read It And Weep?" I would have loved to see mental health stuff addressed in a more thoughtful manner, but that's what fanfiction is for!
Anyways, a great premise, and a well executed delivery! Nice job.
Yikes. Poor Cozy. I'm glad at least the human one is getting some help.
Jeez. Ouch. I’m . . . gonna go cry a little now. Good story, by the way, you earned the like and fave.
9747635
It does kind of reframe pony-Cozy being tossed into Tartarus without any attempt at reformation. Ouch. Particularly given humanity's history of throwing people with mental illnesses into asylums or jails.
9747849
Did they even give her a trial?
9747595
Screwy?
9747738
Thanks so much for the fave. And for what it’s worth, I meant for this fic to be cautiously optimistic, not doom and gloom. Things for our protagonists outta be okay for awhile.
9747951
Oh, no, I knew it was meant to be optimistic. It just caught me in the feels, was all. It’s something I do really enjoy about the show itself, is that it never lets us forget that the bad guys are people, too, and that whatever they do, they have a reason for it. You caught that, perfectly, here!
Really interesting story, but as usual with me I wish there was more fat on dem bones, I'd have loved to witness Cozy realizing Sunset was real, Sunset explaining everything, maybe even Pony Cozy somehow getting to read it...
9748162
My original story outline did include most of that (and Cozy does recognize Sunset’s ‘realness’ in the story proper’s last sentence). But I knew after I wrote Cozy’s meltdown that following it with anything other than an epilogue would feel like filler. At least it would have the way I write. I’m not as good at the ”cooling off” portion of story-telling as I am winding up and delivering the big punch. I do hope to make longer fics when I get more confident, though.
I honestly didn't expect this turn of events when I clicked on the story to read. At first I was positive Cozy's meltdown in the last chapter was just another scheme to drive Sunset away, before her inner thoughts revealed she'd have to step up her game further, and keep a closer eye on Sunset in the future.
9748273
Maybe you were right and the letter’s a big insincere sob story. Like Sunset, all we the readers have to go on is our instincts and outsider observations of Cozy. To reword a question asked in the story description, does one Cozy condemn the other? It’s your call.
This was deeply disturbing. Though it doesn't have the tag, this is definitely going in my Dark folder.
9748194
I love filler. I wish people would get into the habit of adding bonus filler chapters for addicts like myself
Sunset thinking there's no magic in the human world is kind of funny. Didn't take your geode with you today, did you?
...
Oh. Oh wow. That took a turn. Welp, looks like the human world has a higher chance of detecing mental problems early.
Hmm.
/Takes a sidelong glance at Twilight, Luna, Starlight, Stygian, Fluttershy...
Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. No, it doesn't.
9747595
Equestria isn't at all densely populated. Manehattan is a joke compared to New York. Ponyville has a hospital but everything gets treated there; it's not specialised in one area. The crowd Flim and Flam drew with their fake tonic tells a story of a lot of sick little ponies wanting treatment. Even Meadwobrook was swarmed in her swamp once she came back. There's probably a lot of individuals falling through the cracks, so to speak.
This could actually make a good topic for an EG Special: meeting the human counterpart of another villain.
9748390
That's one explanation.
9747595
Yeah, the idea that ponies are behind on things like psychiatric care is a pretty sobering thought. A lot of people in real-life have suffered because of the lack of adequate medical care, and makes locking up Cozy Glow far less justified.
9748595
Far more justified actually. Locking up Cozy Glow is only less justified if Equestria actually has adequate mental healthcare facilities and experts at their disposal.
9748674
I'm sure they could easily find some doctors to treat a filly.
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Also, getting locked up in Tartarus isn't treatment. You get thrown in a tiny cage, underground, guarded by a giant dog, so Equestria can forget you. Nevermind that they put her next to Tirek, the fellow who inspired her plan in the first place. That's the opposite of wanting her to get better.
Could have used a little more.
At least maybe Princess Twilight hearing about this and Cozy's mental problems, and rethink the whole Tartarus thing.
This is a sobering fic. I had a theory that Cozy might have some sort of mental illness since she was acting absolutely illogical, but the way it's represented here makes her much more empathetic than a pathological liar who doesn't know any better or a sociopath. I didn't consider the possibility that Equestria could really be behind on mental health awareness and/or treatment, too. Like a couple of the other commenters pointed out, there's that one patient from Read it and Weep, but you see individuals like Starlight who might not have gone down their path if they had the right kind of resources available and someone had intervened if they saw the signs. Then again, mental health's complicated, and people can hide it so well nobody would have thought they had issues (or maybe nobody's looking/knows how to look)...but at the very least it could have helped someone like Twilight who has displayed serious neurotic behaviors that to this day are shrugged off as "Twilight being Twilight." I'd actually like to see more stories like this...and I definitely wouldn't complain if there was a sequel where Equestria's Cozy Glow got help. It's kind of a joke how so many of the villains - or at least antagonists - in both Friendship is Magic and Equestria Girls have been redeemed, but Cozy's real out of place in the "Legion of Doom," and I think she's mostly being evil now because she's both trying to prove herself and because she's now a pariah to the rest of society. Tossing her in Tartarus definitely wasn't the best solution, I think there's hope for her...at least, if someone can bring her to her senses, or she has an epiphany.
9749012
In some instances, that can be torture if the intention is solitary confinement.
Welp, that Gouged into me a decent deal...
9749097
If you’re interested in my creative process, it was participating in this comment chain that led me to make this story pitch. The big difference you’ll notice in the final draft (other than some filler being cut out) is I went with a psychotic Cozy instead of a sociopathic one. Sociopaths by definition don’t feel like anything is wrong with them, which wouldn't have worked in a story about Cozy wanting to get help and improve.
9749097
Yes.
I often think not enough has been made of Starlight's mental issues. Because she has some. I mean, look at this:
That's not the reaction of a healthy mind.
9749250
I think that is better used to describe psychopaths. Psychopaths can be described as people without the right chemicals in the brain. Sociopaths are people robbed of empathy out of societal oppression.
9749440
Well now I’m doubly glad I didn’t go with that angle, ‘cuz clearly I wouldn’t have known what I was talking about.
Nice twist on Cozy. Explains a lot about a character who was in dire need of an explanation, and actually gets some decent emotional drama out of the deal. Does kind of make her pony counterpart's trip to Tartarus even worse, but TBH I don't think there's any way to make sending a child to Tartarus not horrible, and that's outside the scope of this fic anyway. Very good story, though.
No! It'd be foolish not too. But crossing the line from suspecting, to jugging: That might be unfair.
9750174
I was beginning to think no one was actually going to answer the prompt’s question. Thank you for being the first, and thank you double for the great answer.
Is like saying "If everyone in the family had been a criminal until now, then the only one that managed to get away from all that and work itself a future, will also be a criminal" and wanting to catch him/her to tell yourself how right you are, but then... Who is the criminal and who is the victim?
Ah. That's... not quite what I was expecting from this.
There's suddenly a deep aching pain for Cozy Glow inside me. Thanks, I guess?
I absolutely adore this so far??? Like, damn, you've got me hooked and I want nothing more than to keep reading.
The only bit of constructive criticism I can give is to start a new paragraph when a new character is speaking. There was a moment or two of confusion as it took me a second to realize the speaker had changed at some points.
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Either mental problems, or drugs - though the latter's especially reprehensible considering Cozy's age, but still possible.
Nice! Well written. Good work!
9750631
Thanks for the heads up. I’ll fix the formatting.
Like this even though haven't seen any evidence that Cozy Glow is mental like the EG Cozy Glow in this story.
Anyway I'm surprised and intrigued by where you're taking the story and I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next.
I thought there were four chapters instead of three. That's why I said I was looking forward to seeing where this was going. I think it's cool how this epilogue sort of implies what happened without saying it, though.
9751705
I too find Cozy’s ‘Cutie patootie schtick’ awkward. That’s why I had Sunset rag on it a little.
9751713
Yeah, I coulda put in more scenes. I actually did have a post-meltdown talk between Sunset and Cozy in my original draft, but for the final one I decided to hard cut after the climactic outburst. Felt more punchy that way.
I might make a sequel fic if I come up with a scenerio I think will be as entertaining as this one. Need to chew on it for awhile though.
9751751
Truthfully, I was more amused by Cozy's cutesy way of speaking than anything else. I edited my first comment to reflect that, but maybe you missed it.
9749440
Psychopathy is more often defined as sociopathy with strong antisocial features. And they’re both vaguely defined terms that aren’t used in modern psychiatry. What we colloquially call psychopaths and sociopaths are generally diagnosed with some combination of antisocial personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and maybe borderline personality disorder.
The only issue I have with this story was this paragraph:
Everything else was fine.
Dark, spooky but enlightening. Great work!
Well, you made one version of Cozy to not absolutely loathe and hate. I honestly did not expect it possible. Well done.
But Cozy's irises are pink...