• Member Since 11th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

DragonxFlutter


I'm a fan of the show, and I thought I might try my hand at writing a fanfic.

T

This story is a sequel to How Tempest Shadow Mucked Up


READ THIS FIRST

(Recommended that you read the IDW Comics My Little Pony: Equestria Girls Holiday Special in order to fully get it. There's a reading by the wonderful Wubcake here if you've yet to see the actual original story)

Anon-A-Miss. Greatest threat to Sunset Shimmer's new life as a protagonist, ruiner of friendships all over Canterlot High, and three little girls that let their jealousy get the better of them. Though apparently, they didn't remember what happened to their target. Sunset is more than happy to remind them.

-------------

As a reminder to all younger readers, the original story was made and released in 2014. Make sure you keep that in mind.

I got this idea while reading an Anon-A-Miss fic, and I remembered something: the artwork for the A-A-M page made it very obvious that Sunset was being framed. Why did nobody point that out? So I set to work, and this was the result. I feel like it's enough of an alteration that it abides by the rules, but I can work with the mods if they disagree. Hope you all enjoy!

If I've tagged this incorrectly, please let me know and I'll rectify it as soon as possible.

(9/28/2018 EDIT: :yay: AAAAAAHHHH!! :rainbowkiss: This is getting so much love that I can't keep up! :raritystarry: It's even on the FRONT PAGE! :twilightsmile: Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who's been favoriting and liking! It actually means a lot to see a story I wrote get this much love!)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 66 )

Why do I have the feeling that; if they got rid of the swear words in this story, THIS IS HOW THE COMIC SHOULD HAVE WENT?!

This is well executed, but there is an odd dichotomy involved.

The story, with the swearing and threats of violence, feels like it is reaching further into a real-world interpretation of Canterlot High than what Equestria Girls gives us, yet at the same time none of the responsible adults in the room react to those aspects at all. We don't see VP Luna wring a promise from Sunset not to threaten or hurt the perpetrators and we don't see Celestia berate Sunset for her swearing over the PA.

I think this could be about 1000-2000 words longer and fill in a lot more of the reality of the situation. Great take on what is usually treated as an excuse to trigger thermonuclear war.

9197512

Because, the comic was written by talentless hacks

A fresh and surprisingly accurate version of how Anon-a-miss comic should’ve happened! I swear if this had been the actual comic it would’ve been better and if they had made a version with swearing that would’ve made it even better lol. I think the moral of the story is DON’T FUCK WITH SUNSET OR HER FAMILY!

9197512
Yeah. Considering Sunset's past, it's hard to believe that she wouldn't have spotted such a sloppy frame job from a mile away.

9197549
Because the announcement was made very publicly from Celestia's office, I wanted to imply that all the negotiating had actually happened. It just wasn't relevant enough to the story I wanted to tell for me to warrant including it. I considered reducing the swearing, but I felt that it lacked the proper impact I wanted to get across. And the threats of violence? That was, in my head, mostly just to spook the perpetrator. The worst that would have happened, in my mind, would have been a smack upside the head and dragging them across the school by the ear.

9197618
Yeah. By the time post-Rocks, Sunset was already well on her way to a familial connection with the other Rainbooms. On top of that the fact that everyone was so gullible, and you have a weak comic. Honestly, I wanted to include a bit about Sunset being disappointed with how Humans can be as gullible as the Ponies, but it wormed its way out for the sake of time and moving on. No need to harp on a single point too long, yeah?

I wish this was canon.

I wish there was a part at the end where Princess Twilight was informed and then she told them the whole story of Gabby Gums and highlighted the difference between the two

and Ayjay needs

AJ? Can't say I've seen someone spell that phonetically.

There really needs to be more of this kinda thing - Sunset easily beating Anon-a-miss. Imean, some one really shouldn't be able to beat Sunset at her own game.

Okay, I was a wee bit doubtful about this when we got to the PA announcement bit (as an earlier comment said, there's an odd dichotomy with Sunset cursing and threatening violence, and yet none of the authority figures react to that at all), but I must say, I really, really liked the scene with Sunset and the CMC. Just, that felt right, and was very well-done. I'm so tired of all these grimdark and edgelord Anon-a-Miss fics, so it was just wonderful to see this story where (earlier PA shenanigans aside) Sunset responds to this with some real honest-to-God maturity.

Hahahahaha :rainbowlaugh: Oooh man... like some said below, get rid of the swearing and this is how the comic would've went :rainbowlaugh:

Good show

Honestly, this is exactly what I wanted to happen.

Finally, an Anon-a-Miss reworking that doesn't end with the CMC getting beaten up. I really like what you did with this one, as well as the reasonable punishment, but the fact that it wasn't obvious to the others exposes a real plot hole in the original.

9197558
Indeed, good Sir, indeed. This was my reaction to the original comic;

Skip to 25 seconds.

9197558
This would also do the trick nicely:

Skip to 1:31.

Alternate Title: HOW ANON-A-MISS SHOULD HAVE FUCKING HAPPENED MY GOD.

Nice pleasing little alternative, with everyone actually having an ounce of intelligence amongst other things.

Let's be honest here. There was nothing good to say about the comic. Period. Hasbro made it clear how much they don't like it with Forgotten Friendship.

Which, let's face it, is how the comic should have done it. It would make far more sense if it had.

9198301
I had considered something like that, but I felt that this particular story was long enough as it is. If there's enough interest, I might make a supplementary part with that scenario.

9198386
I started doing that after remembering something from my old Star Wars books. Whenever they refer to the characters R2-D2 and C-3PO by their nicknames in character dialogue, they spell them out as "Artoo" and "Threepio". That actually made more sense to me than putting numbers and acronyms in character dialogue.

9198660
And that's where we get this story. XP

9198730
Like I explained earlier, I had intended for Sunset and Celestia to have negotiated that "favor" off-screen. I didn't feel it was important enough to the story to include it on-screen.

9199037
Indeed. Consider at this point that Sunset has helped save the school from the Sirens, and even synchronized with the Elements of Harmony to do it (her first Pony-Up). Had this story been placed prior to those events, the original version would have made much more sense.

"Pull up my profile and let's compare," Sunset said, waiting for Pinkie to comply. When she had it up, Sunset took the phone and held it next to AJ's to demonstrate. "Look at this! First of all, I don't use acronyms this often in my posts. Secondly, there are some posts that have decent grammar, but others that have the worst grammar I've ever seen ! Thirdly, some of these posts are properly categorized, like I would do, but then there are tons that have no categorization or wrong categorization! And finally, it looks like me! Even the avatar looks like me! Even in my early days I wasn't this sloppy! What an absolute amateur !"

Thank you Sunset, THANK YOU!

What can I say except well done!

Thank you for doing a fic that answers that bit of oversight of the obvious

9199544
There was an author who did that, actually. The story made a lot more sense as a result. In fact, I suspect the comic was written before Rainbow Rocks was released and then had some references to the film lazily shoehorned in.

9199178
I did find the parallels intruiging, to say the least. CMC are out of character in the comic, though. Could girls this adorable really start a rumour engine that kicked of a war in CHS and destroyed Sunset's life?

9200140
I could buy that theory. Comics get delayed for various reasons all the time, so I can see it being originally intended for pre-Rocks.

9200145
Thank you for reminding more people of what the Human Crusaders call themselves. XP

9200176
Funny you should mention that. In that short, they call themselves the Canterlot Move Club. However, in Rainbow Rocks Apple Bloom uses the expression Crusaders, though that's presumably in the context of their band.

Cut to 2:56 for the line in question. Then, in the most recent CYOE short, Rarity's ending, Rarity refers to them as the Cutie Mark Crusaders, which is nonsense given Cutie Marks are not a concept in our world.

Will they ever sort this out and be consistent?

9200193
Given the inconsistent writing of this franchise? Nope. Always.

I only recently found the dub of the comic on YouTube, and was pondering either writing something similar to this (in basic concept - i.e.: maturity prevails) or ignoring it completely.

A story like this would definitely have made the comic much better. Nicely done. :twilightsmile:

9197558

Not talentless; just lazy. They still tend to pander to certain tropes. Applejack being a timid farmer; Rainbow Dash being a dumb athlete.

9200452
Twilight being the obvious main character because she's really the only one that gets to save the day most of the time.

9200452

No, they are talentless, they chose too tackle cyberbullying, then portrayed it in the most insulting manner possible, a pandering comic would have had a consistent tone, this on the other hand went straight from emotional breakdown to nothing about what happened mattered, not to mention the motivations made no sense considering that the comic taked place after the dazzlings.

Yes, I did add in subtle gratuitous SunShyne. Why? Because I could, duh.

I approve.

9199178

There was nothing good to say about the comic. Period. Hasbro made it clear how much they don't like it with Forgotten Friendship.

They did? I didn't notice any references to Anon-A-Miss in "Forgotten Friendship."

9200671
There's not any references. Forgotten Friendship is how the comic should have done it. Hasbro won't say that of course.

But anyone who bothers to think it through will see it.

9200715
Do you also think The Force Awakens is just a cheap knockoff of A New Hope?

9200597
Ooh, look how edgy you are, calling professionals talentless. You want to know what I call talentless? Paragraph after paragraph that are each a single run-on sentence rife with capitalization and spelling errors. I'd quote the whole thing, but then my comment would be longer than your fics.

9200800

Childish insults? That's how you address the points I made? I'm the edgy one, for calling out a comic that was tone deaf, poorly written plot, and overall insulting to anyone who actually goes through what was put on the pages, sure I'm the edgy one.

Also, I highly doubt you actually read anything ive written.

9200824
Oh, come now, little one; think. If I'm the one being childish for calling you talentless, what are you for calling better writers than you childish? Who's more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?

I have read some of what you've written. I stopped after the the first ten paragraphs were 100+word in a single run-on sentence that made little sense.

We're still doing these?

9201046
Yep. Just that this time it's a rewrite.

9200899

Ha, yeah right, I highly doubt you read anything, I already adressed why thier talentless, and your first grade philosphy needs work, so this the end of this, ill leave you as an idiot, while I go and live life.

Hope you dont prove me right, by replying to me.

Applejack stopped in her place and glared at her little sister. "Are y'all suggestin' what Ah think yer suggestin'?"

"Sunset, did y'all loose yer phone?" Applejack asked, getting straight to the point.

"Ah thought y'all wus jes' blowin' air when ya tried tuh blame Sunset a few days ago! Wut were y'all thinkin'?!"

ya
(y'all is a plural pronoun.) And before you bring up AJ doing that. It was only twice, out of over 120 episodes. The rest (like with AJ's family) has always been properly used (even when she's using implied plurals. They don't use it improperly).
_______________

Sunset smiled and looked at them all with teary eyes. "Thank you. And it's okay. I'll get past it in time. Right now, I'm starving, and Ayjay needs to think of how to include a second vegetarian at her holiday party. That is, if it's still on for this weekend."

AJ

(Not only is it how it's done across both fics and stories of MLP:FIM, but it's how proper Initialism is done. That and A isn't Ay which is pronounced I. Kind of ruins the immersion when thinking what the hell is Ayjay (not a word), and then scrolling down to see it's a butchery of initialism (and doesn't work for things like DOR-15 (Doris), or Nate and Chadling.)
_________

Who in the hay is SunShyne?
_____________

Okay ... all in all, not horribad. But ... it was decent. Not too bad, not great. But decent.

Honestly after I learned that the fics were non-canon from Hasbro, and seeing just how horribly they butchered the Sunset Shimmer Mirror story. Which was just atrocious. They should feel bad about themselves for ever for butchering something that watching the movie would show they are wrong.

But I stopped paying attention to it. And it's story lines. It's just not the fanfic that I follow, although I will give them credit on making very, very few good fanfic stories. Anon-A-Miss being one of them for sucking so hard other fanfic writers work on making it not blow chunks.

9202692
As a born and raised Texan, I can tell you right now that "y'all" is indeed sometimes used to refer to an individual. It just varies from person to person.

I believe that putting acronyms, initials, and numeric symbols in character dialogue is stupid. They're speaking, not typing.

You don't delve into shipping much, do you?

And, honestly, that's just your opinion. I'm sorry I wasn't about to entertain you to your standards. I was just posting a story that I wanted to write, and that's all there is to it.

9202731
1) No. Grammatically, and appropriately. It's a plural. Or at most an implied plural. It is never a singular. There is already a singular you. That and "You all" makes no sense as a singular. And one of the things that pisses me off on idiots who misuse it, or in places that have a cultural history of being morons and slaughtering the word.

All over the continental US. There are plenty of plural you's, and noone misuses those. Y'all is a Southern Plural You, and people butcher it like no tomorrow, which makes it even more stupid since they also do use the word "you".

2) You may think it's stupid. But they are saying the letters A and J. Ay, is pronounced I, no A. So either go with a different nickname, or stick with the initialisms. Since the pronunciation of AJ is AJ.

3) I do, but the more common ones.

4) And yes, that obviously is my opinion on not being properly entertained.

9203559

  1. Real Life doesn't follow the rules 100% of the time. Sometimes people will use plural to refer to a single person. It just happens and we can't change that. I hate when people make certain grammatical mistakes too (such as never using proper capitalization/punctuation), but there's nothing I can do to change their minds if they don't care.
  2. To use an example I've seen: In a Star Wars book, you won't see "R2-D2" in character dialogue. You'll see it as either "Artoo-Deetoo" or just "Artoo" for short. It's the phonetic pronunciation. I have never heard "a + y" pronounced as "i" before in American English. The only other thing I can think of is "a + e", and I think that's more of a Latin thing (though I could be wrong).
  3. Then you've never seen the nickname for Sunset + Fluttershy (SunShyne: Sunset + FlutterShy + a pun on sunshine), which is a very common ship nowadays.
  4. Then why are you still here debating this with me? My stance is not very likely to change; you've already decided you don't like me, if the interpreted tone of your comments is any indication; and you didn't even enjoy the story. I have better things to do than talk about this, and I'm pretty sure you do as well. Why cause us both more headache?

9203655
1) And those people sound like morons, or uneducated. But honestly, I have never heard it used singularly IRL.

You have a singular you already, that even this character has been shown to use (and the two canon misuses out of over 100 episodes, are over shadowed by her family using it properly 100 % of the time.)

Misusing it sounds as stupid as if she were to say "youse guys", "you lot", or "youses" singularly (all 3 proper plural you's). And the whole "exception to the rule" doesn't count. When every other plural you is a freaking plural.

The only exception to the rule is that you in English is both singular and plural. The second you use a colliqual plural from any English area. It no longer can be used singularly since it's a plural of a singular.

2) Look up Ay in the dictionary. As well as the phonetics of A. Which has the pronunciation of A.

The simple fact is, you are arguing L33T to English. To two letters. Not a mix of letters and numbers. For instance RT would be Artee or Arty both are a totally different name.

And both books, transcripts, and fanfics use AJ. That is both canon, and what everyone (but you) uses. It's easier to use what everyone uses for a name. Rather than invent a new one, that you get people calling you out on.

3) Never seen it. Got any worth while links?

4) :facehoof: please tell me you're not being serious? You can't be that stupid, when a person is agreeing on a point. Please tell me you weren't arguing with me agreeing with you? :facehoof: :facehoof: :facehoof:

9204496

  1. The only retort I have left before I run out of patience is that it just rolls off my tongue even when it doesn't technically fit. If that's unacceptable to you, then you're welcome to never speak to me again.
  2. Again, I have never heard of "ay" being pronounced as a long "i". Every single example I can think of uses the combination as a long "a" sound. Day, bay, lay, gay, jay, ray. And your "RT" example is mute here, as that's more how you emphasize certain syllables. "AR-TEE" vs "ARty".
  3. Dig around here, you're bound to find something.
  4. I'm not debating the one point we're agreeing on. I'm saying that, from how my mind is interpreting the tone of the comments as a whole, you don't particularly like me because of whatever arbitrary reason. So, if that is indeed the case and not just my Aspergers kicking in again, why are we still talking?

9204563
1) Rolls off the tongue, still not canonically or grammatically correct. And makes them sound like retards that don't know how words work.

2) If all of canon. All source materials. All written uses of a nickname use one way. And you use a different way.

Your use is wrong, and will only cause confusion. Especially since everyone is using the proper nickname, and you're the only one who doesn't.

You may not like it but if you aren't going to use the full name. Use the proper nickname.

3) I'll have to give them a look.

4) You're being way to sensitive.

If I didn't like you, I would out right say "I hate you because ...". I was merely saying what fee things were and are wrong with the fic.

While stating multiple freaking times that the fic wasn't either memorable (good) nor horrible but decent.

Honestly the only thing I would remember about this fic. Is how annoying a simple comment turned into more of a big deal than it should have been.

And having to add that you're super sensitive to the list so if I ever do decide to read anything you make again. Either leave or pussy foot my words to not bruise your apparently fragile ego.

9204647
I don't have a fragile ego, I just don't have the patience for you harping on about something that, in the end, doesn't matter. So I used it wrong. So what? It doesn't hurt you, it doesn't ruin your life. Thank you for the information, but I'm very much tired of this conversation now.

9204668
Actually it being used wrong does cause me physical pain. So yes, as a matter of fact it does hurt me. At least on the first part. The second one only caused my brain to hurt when you tried standing by it. So you can put it as either causing pain, or a minor inconvenience.

As for the last part. How else can a person take it, when a person says "you hate me for some arbitrary reason". As not having a fragile ego? And it wasn't harping on about the last point. The last point, was repeatedly made as me agreeing that my lack of enjoyment was my own opinion, and my personal bias. And not anything against the fic itself.

That's not a lack of patience. That's ego, when you feel attacked by me not singing praises on your work.

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