• Member Since 19th Dec, 2022
  • offline last seen Last Friday

TheInfamousFly


T

Canterlot High is saved and Twilight leaves Sunset Shimmer in the capable hands of her newfound friends.

Except that now that Principal Celestia and Principal Luna know that Sunset came from another world, they have a lot of questions about where her parents are and just where she has been living for the past few years.

Third place winner of the "The New blood" contest. - Bean's Writing Group. Created using the contest topic “A Secret Life” and bonuses 1 and 2.

Warning! Contains descriptions of body horror, anxiety and panic attacks!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

An interesting story, well done

That was really good, I loved the take on Sunset's defeat and why she repented so fast. That part always kinda bugged me on the movie, but it makes sense that the magic of friendship would show Sunset she was never really alone

The second person almost turned me off the story outright. I'm lucky it was only almost

holy shit my jaw is on tne floor as i read this story. the use of 2nd person makes this story so visceral and emotional and your take on sunset is so wonderful!!!

This was beautiful 😭. I loved the descriptions, the way you explored Sunset’s past and the flashbacks. Her reaction to the care and concern Celestia gave, despite what she did and what she thought she deserved. The 2nd person confused me at first, but it ended up working. I love the ending. :heart:

11655183
I'm so happy you enjoyed it! Thank you for the kind comment.

11655142
Thank you. I'm not used to writing in second person either but I knew it was the right style for this story.

11655120
The scene in Rainbow Rocks where they are at Pinkie's house made me wonder where it was that Sunset lived and this story grew out of that idea.

11655262
You’re welcome! It was splendidly done, and I can only wish, with more experimenting on my side, I can make something as good as this!! :twilightsmile:

11655125
Same, though I'm really glad I read it! It was a thoroughly enjoyable read

Wanderer D
Moderator

Not a big fan of second person, but the story itself is beautiful regardless of that. Well done!

11655120
This is strictly my opinion but I think the reason sunset repented so fast is because of how traumatic the demon form was, sunset prior to changing admitted she isn't that much of a monster she couldn't actually hurt spike threaten yes but that's it then we see her change and you can see she is crying her eyes out during the change into a demon. Then she enslaved people and tried to burn people to death this was so far beyond what sunset would normally do that I believe this changed her she saw herself with power in the worse way and she lost a taste for it.

I like the transformation description the most. The idea that’s she feels like she’s burning alive but doesn’t notice the pain due to being high from her new senses is cool.

I can feel Shimmer's pain alongside her as she recalls. Fantastic.

None of them know of the power commonplace to your home. But they will. As citizens of the new Equestria they will be protected from hunger, protected from natural disasters or recruitment into one of the pointless conflicts which define their bloodsoaked world. As ponies they would no longer feel the need to indulge in the savagery of murdering sentient beings to sustain themselves. Nor would they be forced to spend their lives toiling for the benefit of the morally bankrupt.

What are you? Sunset shimmer from Pandemic? WE GOT A SHIMMERIST!

Pretty good story.

Didn't the shorts Monday Blues, Costume Conundrum, and Game Stream and Forgotten Friendship show that Sunset lives alone in an apartment with Good Vibes showing she works as a sushi waitress to support her income?

11725605
The story takes place in an Alternate Universe.

people complaining about second person on principal don't understand writing. this was brilliant. the exact opposite of a let down.

Hello! Have a review. I apologise for the lateness of this courtesy note: partly down to Covid, partly down to disorganisation. Anyway, an eye-catching story and I liked the first two flashbacks, but the third dragged. A little editing to fix pacing and some technical errors and this could be a very nice story. Good ending, though.

Login or register to comment