• Member Since 19th Dec, 2022
  • offline last seen Yesterday

TheInfamousFly


T

As a young stallion cutting lumber deep in the Everfree Forest, Burnt Oak runs across a fawn looking for his parents and the two develop an unexpected friendship.

Gold medal winner for the Slice of Life portion of the 2023 Thousand Words Contest.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

I like how half the story is in between the lines. A sad yet interesting story.

Excellent job at capturing the story of an entire life in 1K words.

He was the only firewood seller in Ponyville anyway, so he could work at the rate he chose.

oh, great to see a Burnt Oak story! there are not nearly enough of later characters such as he

The bark stripped by the grinding of their antlers and the distinctive bisected hoofprints leading deeper into the woods. He knew they should scare him. His mother had always warned about the Antlerfolk. She said they led ponies deep into the woods and got them lost.

ooh, love that the Everfree deer occupy a mythical space in the culture of the surrounding ponies! their version of the Forest Folk

It was autumn and Burnt Oak could hear the creaking of his bones in the harsh wind. His trips to the woods were getting fewer and fewer these days. It used to take him three or four cuts to bring down a tree. Now, he was lucky to do it with seven or eight.

oof! though i always wondered what the deal was with him seeming so old while the same age as Applejack’s parents, when all her friends’ parents are middle-aged at most

Big Mac wanted him to retire too. If Burnt Oak had still had the energy, he'd have kicked the stallion for that suggestion. But unlike the doctor, he could forgive Big Mac, who was the only pony who visited him anymore.

aww, it’s not right for a pony to have so few to care about him! :(

He remembered countless nights sitting up with the old stallion enraptured by stories of his father's youth. Ponies had said he was a loner and a coot, a stranger even to his neighbors. But they hadn't known how warm he could be.

such a sad reflection of what happens to so many of us with time, as connections made in childhood and youth wear away with the passing of those others

Then without a glance at Big Mac or his wife, the king lifted his head and let out a terrible moan. The rest began to mimic him and soon all their antlers were glowing and the soil around the grave was beginning to shift. The gravestone cracked, before it was swallowed by great gray roots, each as thick as a wagon. In seconds, a grand oak, taller than most buildings in Ponyville, towered over the grave.

oh, that is a lovely tribute! a fitting end to the story that started from the king’s youth.


really loved the enchanting atmosphere of this tale. it feels very much like one that ponies would pass down amongst themselves. and the seasons passing along with the seasons of Burnt Oak’s life is a great touch. this was a true masterpiece, and one of my favorites of the contest so far. thank you so much for it!

I do love the turning wheel of seasons coinciding with Burnt Oak aging. Always a great parallel to invoke.

Thanks to the Flim Flam Brothers Super-Home-Heater 4000, ponies could just pay the power company to zap all their doodads with magic. Supposedly it was safer. Fewer fires. Better for the environment too.

At least, that was the belief until ponies found out where the brothers were dumping their power plants’ thaumoactive waste, but that’s a story for another day.

Lovely work throughout… though I do wish you’d done one last sweep for typos. Still, a wonderful, heart-wrenching tale about how a single good deed can resonate for a lifetime and beyond. Thank you for it and congrats on the gold.

Hello! Here's your courtesy note for my review of this. A really unusual combo of character tags! An atmospheric fairy tale, one which rewards reading between the lines. A few too many technical errors (those listening to readings won't worry about that) which is a shame, but it's still interesting.

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