• Member Since 30th Nov, 2015
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Rambling Writer

Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams


In the distant past, Grogar created thousands upon thousands of monsters and set them loose to ravage the Equestrian countryside, sowing fear and terror in their wake. It was a magnificent time of anarchy like none seen before or since. When he was driven underground, Grogar could no longer control them, but what of it? As he bided his time, consolidated his power, the monsters were still loose, doing exactly what he made them to do.

Except, much to his chagrin, some monsters were reformed. This includes a certain draconequus.

And said draconequus is so happy to see his dad again.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 59 )

Chrysalis put a hoof to her mouth and gasped. “You abandoned your own child?” she said in a hushed voice. “That’s- That’s just cruel, and not in a proper way! It’s scummy, it’s tasteless, it’s-”

“Didn’t you use your own kids as cannon fodder waaaay back in Canterlot?” asked Cozy Glow. “ ’Cause coming from you-”

“Only after I had raised them from infancy and molded them to be cannon fodder!” Chrysalis protested. “I merely spent their entire lives shaping them to be extensions of my will and leaving them in a constant state of near-starvation so they could be easily manipulated; I would never abandon them outright!”

“You would if one of them was Discord!” Grogar snapped.


I lost it at about here.

Also, this explains so much.

But I'm on board with this headcanon.

I give Grogar a week, tops.

Discord, you clear b@$+@rd.

“That’s because you, like them, are omnipresent, beyond irritating, impossible to exterminate, and home in on the spot where you could cause the most irritation, and the world would suffer absolutely no harm if you were destroyed completely and utterly.”

Holy shit, that comparison is the most accurate savagry I never expected to come out of this.

P.S.: Congratulations! In formulating this plan, you’ve learned the most important part of being a leader: getting someone else to do stuff for you.

Celestia´s motto in a nutshell :trollestia:


Imagine Grogar´s face when he discovers Discord has put hidden cameras in the lair and made a reality show from the "legion of Doom". And that they aren´t even going to get paychecks or royalties from it :rainbowlaugh:


He will beg Celestia to banish him to the Moon.

This is utterly magnificent. I need more shenanigans with grumpy Grogar and devious Discord. MORE!

The opening of this is amazing.

I can imagine Grogar telling Discord not to be around Fluttershy because she's a bad influence on him, and Discord retorts that his his father can't understand them or their relationship.

Favorite #700

Pure perfection, with the letter being even better than the expected twist.

This was a fantastic read, with dialog and setup pitch perfect for the show. Love the Chysalis abuse, as she remains the worst of the villains from a treatment of minions perspective.

And why am I not surprised. I was wondering when something like this would happen... and yet, this is freaking hilarious. Well done!

Congratz, ya got featured. 5/25/2019

This needs to be a series.

I give him 3 days.

hOly curd!! I totally had this headcanon right after the first episode aired of the season!! Discord even looks like Grogar in a few elements here and there but those matching eyes pretty much gave it away! Please write more stories with this idea!!

P.S.: Congratulations! In formulating this plan, you’ve learned the most important part of being a leader: getting someone else to do stuff for you.

And it's not like Celestia hadn't been doing that shit from Day 1 of MLP ever since she tricked [drafted] a certain one Twilight Sparkle into solving the Nightmare Moon problem and going on through the last 8 Seasons! :trollestia:

And it's uncanny how some of the FamFic writers here have got a better comprehension of the characters than the writers do. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

BTW, featured right off the bat: 5/25/2019 :twilightsmile:

I really want to read that children’s book now.

“Well, I was going to show my new best friends how to play buckball, but you don’t have any balls, and I needed some balls, because I really wanted to play with your balls, and what kind of Daddy doesn’t have balls?-”

Chrysalis’s attempts to control her laughter two rooms over finally failed.

Dear god, I dont know what's worse. Finding out Discord has a father, or Grogar not having any balls.

Right here!

In a few days, Grogar will resort to Go the F**k to Sleep.

Awesome. Though now I have to wonder why all the really fun children’s books (I.e. totally insane) came out so long after my childhood. Least I was after the Great Tall Tailor was a realistic possibility.

Oh my god, this was hysterical. There were so many amazing spots I would point out, but this was the first that caught my eye:

And you STILL still didn’t come back, so I was stoned for over a thousand years!”

“Explains a lot, doesn’t it?” Chrysalis whispered to Cozy Glow.

“What explains a lot?” asked Cozy Glow.

“We’ll tell you when you’re older,” said Tirek.

Just like when Grogar will tell her where monsters come from.

But yeah, I would love to see little family snippets in a sequel, too.

"Daddyyyyy! Cozy won't get out of my room!"

"Chryssie kicked me out of ours!"

"For the last time, it's my room! You have your own!"

"Tirek! Go handle your sisters!"

"But I'm working out!"


So THAT'S why Discord had no complaints hanging out with Tirek XD honestly, this was all amazing, I had more than a few good laughs :rainbowlaugh:

I feel like it will evolve into a family, and Discord would probably be a non-factor in Legion of Doom vs Orbital Friendship Cannon.

here a idea for a sequel grogar gets revenge by showing up when discord with fluttershy and there to see if she worthy to marry discord join the family much to discord embarrassment :rainbowlaugh:

I can not express how much I love this story........

LOL, honestly, it's not often that I find a story that's genuinely funny and makes me laugh; the vast majority of them just come off as tired and desperate but this story allows its comedy to come naturally and actually portrays the characters in a way similar enough to their canon selves that it doesn't feel like a stretch to see this story as canon. In fact, I'd LOVE if this turned out to be canon; it's just too hilarious.

If you have any plans for a sequel, I am all for it. The only thing I'd suggest is it having Discord start messing around and annoying the ponies as well. While I understand that he's on the pony's side and is ultimately working against Grogar and his villain triad, I can just see him deliberately making things harder than they have to be on both sides just for the kicks, even if it means going against the ponies just a bit.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go peruse your other stories, because if you have any other stories even half as creative and silly as this one, I'm going to be in for some fun reading. :twilightsmile:

Super-solid little fic. I especially like Chrysalis being herself and screaming bloody murder like the ham she is under the rubble.

Stopping at one chapter would be a greater sin against Nature than Discord is.

Did you also see that Dr. Wolf video?

“Explains a lot, doesn’t it?” Chrysalis whispered to Cozy Glow.
“What explains a lot?” asked Cozy Glow.
“We’ll tell you when you’re older,” said Tirek.

These three make for the best dysfunctional family.

“THEIR INSIDES ARE ON THE OUTSIDE!” Cozy Glow shrieked, covering her eyes. “MY POOR INNOCENT BRAIN!”

Poor, certainly.

“The festering decay and atmosphere of dread are traditional,” grumbled Grogar.

To say nothing of the handy black mana source.

Brilliant stuff all around. It really is a shame Twilight doesn't know about Grogar's Legion of Doom. This kind of elegant, efficient solution would be right up her alley... though she'd probably expect regular check-in sessions with Fluttershy to make sure Discord wasn't backsliding.

He's going to go out for more orange juice, isn't he?

Well... This plan is... ODDDDD.

Chrysalis raised a hoof. “I have a question.”
Tirek raised a hand. “I have several questions.”
Cozy Glow raised a hoof. “I have all the questions.”


After everbody are eating ice cream, Grogar was too thoughtful about everything that happened.
"At least my brother and his abomination are dead, Discord is so annoying but at least I will not be tortured with another..." Grogar thinks before he heards a sound in the window.

"Hello, uncle Grogar" Princess Eris with a creppy smile meanwhile she goes to the window to see Grogar. He just screams of fear meanwhile Discord says hi to her, making Princess Eris a little bit angry.

"Ah ... wait ... that day never happened ... that's good" Grogar gets up from bed to discover that everything was a dream.

He gets out of bed to prepare a coffee that really needs him to continue with his evil plans, everything was quiet without the presence of anyone around him.

But when it comes to the meeting, we see that Discord, Princess Eris and Cosmos were there to receive it.

"It's a pleasure to introduce myself to you" Cosmos waves his hand while Grogar is too confused about the situation.

"Who are you?"
"I'm Cosmos, your daughter-in-law" She says it with great happiness that her face is too scary.

Grogar simply has no words to say, he can only see the chaos caused by Discord and Cosmos to create an altar in the meeting, with Eris accompanying the desolate Grogar. Fortunately, it was just a dream. Again.

"I hope that this isn't just a dream... i hope..." Grogar just gets up from the bed and slowly opens the door.

It was flooded with thousands of Discord's children, each from a different couple, all crushing poor Grogar. "Happy birthday, grandpa!" everbody shouted that. Grogar just cry.

We need a sequel with those guys.

Actually, is really fun how will be the interactions between Princess Eris and the Evil League with Discord.

Adorable and funny. Nice combination

i think an AU tag is needed thanks to the season finale

9807105 The irony of this story now... so much iron. Not enough E. I don't even know what that means! Am I going insane? WHO'S BUCKING WITH MY MEDICINE?!

My story has a Legion of Doom... it also has a poop-colored spaceship.

I never did get back to that insane thing, come to think of it.

9644692 Alas, this is not canon. Not even close.

It's far too clever.

well, this didn't age so well

This aged PERFECTLY well, you mean

you ain't seen the leaks, have you
if you haven't, you'll see why i said that in about a week~

Oh, I've seen all of em already. Still perfect~

i am so confused right now...

How it should've been.

Discord shuffled from foot to foot, self-consciously twisting his goatee around a claw. “Well, I was going to show my new best friends how to play buckball, but you don’t have any balls, and I needed some balls, because I really wanted to play with your balls, and what kind of Daddy doesn’t have balls?-”


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