• Member Since 30th Nov, 2015
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Rambling Writer

Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams


After the return of the Pillars of Equestria, A. K. Yearling gets a letter from Twilight: former villain Stygian is interested in writing. Not one to turn down a request from a princess and interested in learning from somepony who lived a millennium ago, Yearling sets up a meeting with him at a Canterlot donut shop. And so the two commence on Stygian's education of modern fiction.

Takes place not long after "Shadow Play". Written for the May 2020 Pairing Contest.

Chapters (1)

Tempest gets roped into babysitting Flurry Heart during a visit to the Crystal Empire. It's not so bad. She can talk all she wants and Flurry's a good listener. Plus, it gets her away from the hustle and bustle of the Crystal Faire. In all, she expects a quiet night.

Then she spots a spider. And spiders need to die. By any means necessary.

The Crystal Palace will never be the same.

Written for the May 2020 Pairing Contest. Loosely inspired by, well, Kill it With Fire. Has a Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI.

Chapters (1)

Although zebras are united today, this was not always so. Long ago, the zebra tribes were separate and unconcerned with each other. Each tribe managed its own affairs, and the others could go rot for all they cared.

But when an unthinkable calamity upsets the balance of the plains, everyone struggles to survive. One zebra, Maelewano, will take it upon herself to draw the tribes together and support each other, forming the beginnings of what would become Zebrabwe. By ancient tradition, her tale has been directly passed down from one generation to the next across centuries, always in person. And today, it’s your turn to hear her story.

Editor’s note: Due to the corruption inherent in oral tradition and based on what scant archaeological evidence exists, the following is estimated to be roughly 50% history, 25% myth, and 25% hagiography.

Written for Jake the Army Guy's Horseword Extravaganza II and as an experiment for my 50th story.

Chapters (10)

After dying in a train crash, Twilight finds herself offered a deal by the Reaper: a game of chess for her soul. Twilight accepts, but there's something off about the game. Something she can't put her hoof on.

But the answer to that question is just perfect for who she is.

Cover art is from the Poets of the Fall album "Clearview".

Chapters (1)

What do dragons think of hot peppers? Gallus wants to know.

By the end of the day, he'll wish he hadn't.

Chapters (1)

The problem with being an explorer in this day and age is that unexplored lands are few and far between. Almost everything's been charted, catalogued, analyzed, and what have you. But that's an almost; there are still those rare, blank spots in the maps, inexplicable, untouched by hooves, unsurveyed. One of those corners is Needle Vale in the far north. Supposedly cursed, yet everyone who's gone in has come back out. It has more stories about it than Celestia herself, yet every single adventuring group that's gone in has found nothing. Thanks to a nonstop snowstorm that's been blowing for centuries, no one's even been able to map it out.

Daring Do thinks there are too many stories about it to be a coincidence. Something is inside there. The source of the legends and of the snowstorm. And no one has a will quite as strong as Daring's (or so she tells herself). With a small team at her back, Daring makes a decision: she will go into Needle Vale, she will withstand the storm, and she will discover what’s going on in there.

But, as Daring is about to find out, there's a reason no one’s been able to pin down what's going on in that valley. Not everything that lies in the dark corners of the earth should be studied.

Loosely inspired by Annihilation. Has a dramatic reading done by Quinch.

Chapters (13)

Starlight has a problem. Twilight left on an ambassadorial mission to the zebras less than a week ago. Just this morning, a businesspony showed up on the doorstep of the Castle of Friendship and stole the Alicorn Amulet right out from under her nose.

Rainbow Dash has a solution. Steal the Amulet back. How hard could it possibly be, right? Okay, so the Amulet's being kept in one of the most secure vaults in Equestria. And it's surrounded by guards and bystanders. And there's no one in Ponyville who has much experience in heists or robberies or law-breaking of any kind. Oh, and said businesspony is planning on selling the powerful artifact of dark magic on the black market, putting the whole thing on a time crunch. And they don't even have the blueprints to the place. But other than that, it'll be easy!

Starlight has a problem. This is the closest thing to a solution she has.

This can only end well.

Takes place before the season 6 finale.

Chapters (30)

An Epic Exposé by Buck Haysing

Lies! Lies! Celestia has been feeding you a delicious smoothie of lies!

Luna never went to the moon! It was all a ploy between her and Celestia! They were trying to safeguard Equestria through a convoluted plan that involved no direct action on their part! It’s all so simple!

Buck Haysing, a manual writer for Thaumodyne, destroys lies, falsehoods, and personal space in his quest to expose the conspiracy. The smallest facts are dissected, analyzed, and twisted until they reveal the truth. Nothing escapes his notice, nothing is meaningless, and nothing is a coincidence. Wake up, sheeple! Wake up, sheeple!

(No apologies to actual sheep. If they didn’t want to be called sheep, they shouldn’t have been sheep.)

“Number one on my reading list!” —Drocsid

“I have no words.” —Princess Luna

“A most enlightening read… A fascinating glimpse into the minds of certain ponies…” —Sunbutt

“Nothing… is… fabricated… or… ignored… Exposes… vile… lies…” —Princess Twilight Sparkle

Written in honor of the 50th anniversary of Apollo 11. I hope you know how this honors Apollo 11, because I don’t.

Chapters (5)

In the distant past, Grogar created thousands upon thousands of monsters and set them loose to ravage the Equestrian countryside, sowing fear and terror in their wake. It was a magnificent time of anarchy like none seen before or since. When he was driven underground, Grogar could no longer control them, but what of it? As he bided his time, consolidated his power, the monsters were still loose, doing exactly what he made them to do.

Except, much to his chagrin, some monsters were reformed. This includes a certain draconequus.

And said draconequus is so happy to see his dad again.

Chapters (1)

After over a hundred years of ruling, Princesses Celestia and Luna are finally getting around to having their capital city built. For head mason Gabion, it's a once-in-numerous-lifetimes opportunity. Canterlot can only be built once, and he's the one overseeing it.

But there's a snag. The design of the castle is eye-poppingly impractical, ready to fall over the cliff at a moment's notice. It's a sin against good architectural practices everywhere. Even Celestia's assurance that she'll personally lend her magic to help build it does little to reassure him.

...And now he'll be giving orders to Princess Celestia herself for the duration of construction. This is going to be a weird job. Maybe he can get to know her a bit, if only to make things a tad less bizarre.

Chapters (7)
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