• Member Since 9th Jul, 2014
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Fed up with Tirek's, Cozy Glow's, and Chrysalis' bickering, Grogar realizes that the only way that he'll be able to get through to them is by having them listen to a motivational speaker. Using his powerful magic, Grogar summons a motivational speaker from an alternate world. The good news is he succeeds; the bad news is that he summons the one speaker who lives in a van down by the river.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 29 )

I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!

Oh God this was amazing, and I actually saw the original video too, so I can even imagine his voice ,this was great!

Best SNL segment

This doesn't work for me. It relies too much on being familiar with the Saturday Night Live skits it's based off of, and having the lines without the manic physicality that Chris Farley brought to it just don't have the same impact.

"Oh my, aren't you a feisty one!" Matt said in a flirting manner. "That really turns me on! How'd you like to be my new wife?"

"Despite how inflated you are, I doubt you could even keep me fed for even a day."

"You know, you remind me of my ex-wives, in that you would suck the ever life out of me 'til I'm dried up!"

Oh god! 😆That was a sick burn by Matt Foley. It had me rolling on the ground.

What is really impressive is that you didn't just cut and paste a Matt Foley sketch. You made it feel as if Matt was in a room with these villains, giving them a "motivational" speech. And the ending would be exactly how those villains would respond to Matt Foley.

The only thing you should've done differently is have Matt say "in a van down by Tartarus." Since Grogar could send them back there if they fail to defeat the Mane 6.

Matt i wish you could just shut your big YAPPER

If this would have been a bad story, you would've landed yourself IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

But ya this was fucking great.

This is great.

This is hilarious!


Yeah. If you read more about him, you learn how MUCH of a loss his death was to film and entertainment.

He was the first person recruited to play Shrek, and he actually recorded almost all the dialogue before he died. He was even slated to make a movie about the ill-fated comedy legend Fatty Arbuckle.

Unfortunately, his insecurities erupted after the release of Beverly Hills Ninja, and he died after a massive drug binge. If only he had been a little more stern, he could've lived to see his career turn for the better. :fluttercry:


Here is a taste of it, if you are curious.

This was a whole of fun I love it! Although I'm not sure why there is profanity tag, when there's no profanity.

I assumed that words such as frickin or crap would count as profanity.

As far as I'm aware freaking is not a cuss word. Crap is but it's the low tier lvl of swearing. (although the middle schoolers I used worked with would say it wasn't one :ajbemused:)


Compared to the ridiculous standards of American television, they are pretty extreme words.

I mean, dubbed anime was reluctant to talk about death.

I’m sure they do say crap in dub anime . I mean they got away with in incridebles two twice. I may heard a sh*t but then again that airs on adult swim so there’s that.


I grew up watching 4kids. Despite being ten, I found it ridiculous how they sparingly discussed death.

Oh really! Me too :pinkiehappy: I mean dubs now days do swear. You have remember as you mentioned Americans are weird with censorship and 4 Kids tended to air on Saturday morning. Although on the side note I always liked the shadow realm was more then straight up you’re dead.

Oh if you love 4Kids I would highly recommend watching the Slayers ( which is my all time fav anime dub) you hear some 4kids actors there.

Sorry for the long blabbing on but you push my nerd button lol.

Since younger people may have not seen the sketch in the day...

Edit: Warning...old SNL so cursing, slapstick, etc...

I didn't want to spam too much. :-/

van down BY THE RIVER

Well, well, well. Now, as professor dash told you, my name is spitfire, and I am captain of the wonderbolts and a part time motivational speaker! Before I begin, I want to tell you a little about myself, so you’ll know where I’m coming from. First off, I am 35 years old.. I am divorced.. and before i joined the wonderbolts, i was in the washouts, it was all fun and games of course until the day i got into an in accident id much rather keep private, for six months of my life, i was in a FULL BODY WING A HOOF CAST, DRINKIN THROUGH A STRAW!
Now, you kids are probably saying to yourself, “Now, I’m gonna go out, and I’m gonna get the world by the tail, and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!!” Well, I’m here to tell you that unless you're willing to put in the work required, you’re probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you’re not gonna amount to JACK SQUAT!!” You’re gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese, THROUGH A STRAW I MIGHT ADD!! Now, young girl, what do you want to do with your life?
ocellus:uhh...I.. actually, spitfire.. I kinda wanna be a writer..
spitfire: We-e-e-elll.. la-de-doodle’-da! We’ve got ourselves a writer here! Hey, Dash, I can’t see real good....is that Bill Shakespeare over there?
twilight:well actually , the school has openly encouraged her writing skills
rainbow dash:yeah, i'm not usually into poetry but her stuff is pretty cool
spitfire:really now, Dash, I wish you could just shut your big yapper! Now, I wonder.. ocellus, from what I’ve heard, you’re using your paper, not for writing, but for rolling doobies!!
twilight:rolling doobies what the hell is she talking about?
dash:i dunno twi, i dunno
spitfire: well You won't be doing a lot of doobie-rolling when you’re in a FULL BODY WING AND HOOF CAST DRINKIN THROUGH A STRAW
NOW Young man, what do you want to do with your life?!
gallus:oh, me? i aspire to be in a full body wing and hoof cast drinkin through a straw, that sounds like a lot of fun
spitfire:well you'll have plenty of time to be in a full body wing and hoof cast drinkin through a straw... in, in a FULL BODY WING AND HOOF CAST DRINKIN THROUGH A STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Chris Farley as Shrek would have been amazing. :(

Brilliant! Simply. Bucking. Brilliant. You perfectly captured Chris Farley's manic performance.

Me: When I grow up, I wanna live in a van down by the river!

Matt: Well, you'll have plenty of time to live in a van down by the river... when you're livin' in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!! (Trips over table, which collapses as if made from cardboard.)

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