• Member Since 9th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago




Fed up with Tirek's, Cozy Glow's, and Chrysalis' bickering, Grogar realizes that the only way that he'll be able to get through to them is by having them listen to a motivational speaker. Using his powerful magic, Grogar summons a motivational speaker from an alternate world. The good news is he succeeds; the bad news is that he summons the one speaker who lives in a van down by the river.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 29 )

I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!

Oh God this was amazing, and I actually saw the original video too, so I can even imagine his voice ,this was great!

Best SNL segment

You write comedy better than Adam Sandler.

This doesn't work for me. It relies too much on being familiar with the Saturday Night Live skits it's based off of, and having the lines without the manic physicality that Chris Farley brought to it just don't have the same impact.

"Oh my, aren't you a feisty one!" Matt said in a flirting manner. "That really turns me on! How'd you like to be my new wife?"

"Despite how inflated you are, I doubt you could even keep me fed for even a day."

"You know, you remind me of my ex-wives, in that you would suck the ever life out of me 'til I'm dried up!"

Oh god! 😆That was a sick burn by Matt Foley. It had me rolling on the ground.

What is really impressive is that you didn't just cut and paste a Matt Foley sketch. You made it feel as if Matt was in a room with these villains, giving them "motivational" speech. And the ending would be exactly how those villains would respond to Matt Foley.

The only thing you should've done differently is have Matt say "in a van down by Tartarus." Since Grogar could send them back there if they fail to defeat the Mane 6.

Matt i wish you could just shut your big YAPPER

If this would have been a bad story, you would've landed yourself IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

But ya this was fucking great.

This is great.

This is hilarious!

...Man I miss Chris Farley


Yeah. If you read more about him, you learn how MUCH of a loss his death was to film and entertainment.

He was the first person recruited to play Shrek, and he actually recorded almost all the dialogue before he died. He was even slated to make a movie about the ill-fated comedy legend Fatty Arbuckle.

Unfortunately, his insecurities erupted after the release of Beverly Hills Ninja, and he died after a massive drug binge. If only he had been a little more stern, he could've lived to see his career turn for the better. :fluttercry:

Yeah, i'v heard about that. Would have love to see a Chris Farley Shrek


Here is a taste of it, if you are curious.

This was a whole of fun I love it! Although I'm not sure why there is profanity tag, when there's no profanity.

I assumed that words such as frickin or crap would count as profanity.

As far as I'm aware freaking is not a cuss word. Crap is but it's the low tier lvl of swearing. (although the middle schoolers I used worked with would say it wasn't one :ajbemused:)


Compared to the ridiculous standards of American television, they are pretty extreme words.

I mean, dubbed anime was reluctant to talk about death.

I’m sure they do say crap in dub anime . I mean they got away with in incridebles two twice. I may heard a sh*t but then again that airs on adult swim so there’s that.


I grew up watching 4kids. Despite being ten, I found it ridiculous how they sparingly discussed death.

Oh really! Me too :pinkiehappy: I mean dubs now days do swear. You have remember as you mentioned Americans are weird with censorship and 4 Kids tended to air on Saturday morning. Although on the side note I always liked the shadow realm was more then straight up you’re dead.

Oh if you love 4Kids I would highly recommend watching the Slayers ( which is my all time fav anime dub) you hear some 4kids actors there.

Sorry for the long blabbing on but you push my nerd button lol.

I want to like this, I really do. Only problem is that the ending was... tonally out of place. I will say though, never thought I'd see Chris Farley Matt Foley in a fimfic. So props for that.

Since younger people may have not seen the sketch in the day...

Edit: Warning...old SNL so cursing, slapstick, etc...

I didn't want to spam too much. :-/

van down BY THE RIVER

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