• Member Since 8th Jul, 2014
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theanonymousbrony


unkown.

T

Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock, Shield of Lannisport, Warden of the West, and Hand of the King, has now been slain. For his unhonorable deeds, The Seven have decided to give him a punishment far worse than the Seven Hells. And that's to live for an eternatity, in a world with smiling, colorful ponies! Will his knowledge and experience of the game of thrones be enough to save him, or will the magic of friendship break him?

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 55 )

This I like, keep writing!

If this has been said before, then sorry. But I really hope that there's a later chapter when shit hits the fan, (Griffon/Minotaur invasion, maybe?) and Tywin takes his new allies, 'cuz he doesn't have any friends, and beats them down. The Rains of Canterlot

You're being kind of harsh with Tywin. The point is that there's ambiguity to his actions, not just everything is evil.

Dude, I would love to see Ed Stark come into this, it would totally be interesting to see how that would work out.

I can think of two possibilities of how Equestria becomes Tywin's hell (besides the obvious).

1. He keeps trying to find ways to grow a power base and sees all of them fail just on the brink of victory.

2. He sees the management style in Equestria succeed and his fail watching as all his lessons in power turn out to be all for nought.

good Story, nur also Little bit strange

Poor Tywin, he's a morose, greedy, violence douche in a world of friendship, harmony and sharing. He thinks the ponies are weak and foolish now, he's going to really really tick them off.

He managed to break his fast without several paragraphs describing the food ; truly this is hell.

Go on my friend, you have me intrigued.

Thisgunbegood. Please, continue

No Spike don't fall for it, Tywin is an idiot and brute who simple refuses to adapt to different world. Of course I think filling Spike's head with nonsense is only going to make Twilight even more angry when she finally has enough of Tywin, and Tywin learns WHY the Princesses have complete and uncontested rule of Equestria. He has yet to realize he's dealing with immortal demi-goddesses.

I'll be honest, when tywin started talking about tiara, I thought he would threaten her. I was pleasantly surprised.

Oh crap Diamond Tiara is just the kind of pony TYwin understands, greedy, selfish, and self absorbed. Though I am seriously thinking Celestia KNOWS exactly the kind of guy Tywin is and sent him to Twilight both as a lesson for her apprentice and to "handle" Tywin because she knows he's going to eventually use up ALL of Twilight's patience.

Oh god...the cover image for this story. Tywin the Troll... where did you get this image

The weather in Cantlerlot? I predict RAIN.

I read the title and I knew this would be good.

This the push back begins :) Your going to learn about harmony if the ponies have to beat it into you Tywin.. just ask Discord

Comment posted by Jordan179 deleted May 24th, 2015

"Of course I have; every man that ever held a sword and bled in battle has mounted a pony before charging on the back of a horse. They've just never mounted any that could speak."

I wonder how that Translation Spell works, and what Tywin actually just said in terms of Equestrian. I'm hoping for his sake that the verb rendered here into English as "mounted" was the equivalent of "rode," not the equivalent of "mated." Neither Tywin nor the Pony know English, after all. Otherwise he's just given them a very strange concept of his culture:

"Why, strange creature, do warriors in your land have sex with mute Ponies before going into battle?" :rainbowlaugh:

Tywin might've been confused, but he still kept his face straight. "No, no, this makes no sense; you can't both rule this kingdom!"

Is the concept of diarchy unknown in Westeros? Might be -- I don't remember any example of it in the books, and Renly and Stannis Baratheon might have done better had it been known. In other lands they seem to have all sorts of governing systems.

Still, Tywin, you probably shouldn't lecture the Equestrians on what they can and cannot do to govern their own lands!

"On his wedding day, someone had poured some poison into his wine; and when the poison started to take effect, you can imagine the uproar it caused. Even right now I can still see him lying on the ground, choking for air, his eyes bleeding red, and his face turning purple. I sure hope that doesn't happen to you when you take over your aunts' place as ruler. One minute you're rulling a kingdom, and then you lose it from the sip of a cup."

I bet that killed Blueblood's appetite! :rainbowlaugh:

Tywin, is it wise to be arrogant to the Pony Princesses and then arrogantly tell them that the punishment for arrogance to royalty should be death or mutiliation? Consider your own position here ...

"That's very kind of you, Tywin," said Celestia, "But I'm afraid that me and my sister are more than capable of rulling Equestria on our own. However, there is somepony that could be in need of your assistance. Her name is Twilight Sparkle; she was my former student, but now she's become Equestria's newest princess. I'm sure she might find some use of your services."

"With all due respect, Celestia," Tywin responded, "My services are for more higher nobles, such as yourself."

Since Twilight Sparkle is a Princess, she is one of the highest nobles (technically, she's a royal, though the status gradient between the highest nobles and the lower royals isn't that sttep in Westeros), and more to the point a Princess of Equestria, she outranks Tywin, especially in Equestria. I'm not sure why Tywin considers her a "lower noble."

Tywin is canonically shrewd -- he is not showing much shrewdness here.

Comment posted by Jordan179 deleted May 24th, 2015

Before he could get any closer, Spike pushed him back as he said, "She told you two 'no', so get lost!"

"And what are you gonna do about it, pipsqueak?!"

The one called Caramel added, "Yeah, what can a little kid like you do to us?"

"Hello, I'm a dragon! What makes you two think I won't burn you to a crisp, or claw your eyes out?!"

"Because you're just a pathetic, little runt!"

"Yeah, so you better step aside, kid; unless you want to find out what happens to little boys when they play with the big boys!"

Those two Ponies are fools. Spike could kill or maim both of them rather easily. He's just nice, and very inhibited against harming Ponies. Read my essay on the topic: "Spike the DRAGON."

To make a long argument short, it's been shown in vanilla show canon that Spike can breathe fire with enough thermal content to boil away a huge mass of ice foam, or concentrated enough to make hard steel run like molasses; his teeth and claws can bite and tear through stone; and he is strong enough to lift hundreds of pounds without much difficulty. His scales enable him to swim through lava and he is probably immune to serious harm from all but the heaviest Pony-portable weapons.

He could without much difficulty kill a couple of foolish, untrained and unarmed Pony stallions. He just wouldn't, unless they were actually stupid enough to launch a serious physical attack on his beloved Rarity in his presence; and even then would probably try to incapacitate them without doing them lasting physical harm. Spike's been raised by Twilight and her family to be a good gentlecolt.

Rarity's hardly a pushover, either. She's trained and highly-skilled in some sort of brawling martial arts form, as she demonstrates in at least two episodes: Friendship Is Magic and A Canterlot Wedding. In the former she kicks a Manticore hard enough to rock its head back; in the latter she fights her way through squads of Changeling Warriors with little difficulty. Normally, of course, she'd deal with fools like Caramel and Clover by outmaneuvering them socially, but if this failed she could simply beat the crap out of them.

Tywin's main mistake is that he thinks that the extreme niceness of the Pony Princesses and their bannermares means that they're weak. The Trope he should be considering is Beware the Nice Ones, as pretty much every villain they've met could attest to him. Tywin's father really was weak -- beings like Celestia and Twilight are not.

Though, apparently, Tywin is Undying here -- he can't be killed or even wounded. He should beware, however -- there are many, many ways to defeat someone with that power, some of which constitute Fates Worse Than Death. If he's not careful, he just might wind up decorating Princess Celestia's statue garden -- she has a spare pedestal now, since her old friend's finished serving his time.

Watch the sequences from Crystal Empire and "Equestria Games" again. Rarity almost collapses when she thinks Spike is about to die in the former, and she insists that Spike be treated with respect by the others in the latter for his deed in saving the Empire. She stands up to her own friends on this matter. It's my contention that Rarity loves Spike -- just not sexually, not yet, and mainly only because he's too young for her. Right now, anyway.

It's kind of sweet that Tywin likes Spike. Ironically, Spike has a lot in common with Tywin's least favorite offspring -- short, smart, snarky and strange-looking by the standards of the dominant species. Of course, Spike -- unlike Tyrion -- did nothing to cause the deaths of anyone whom Tywin loved. And in Westeros, Dragons -- unlike human dwarfs -- have a noble role in tradition.

A story for another time ... and a far darker one.

Comment posted by OldColtWrites deleted May 28th, 2015

This I want to read more of, Game of Thrones and Friendship is Magic, are complete opposites, yet you manage to combine them into an intersting read. I found some grammatical errors, and a few words missing, but aside from that this is a good fanfic!

"Right?! What right?! He's a servant; he's not even on the same level as you and I!" . no... no, no. I'm sorry I have to down vote this chapter. Twilight having the attitude that Spike is merely her servant, MUST obey her and has no right to an opinion is so wrong, she LOVES Spike. She might tell him to be quiet or other wise silence Spike when she was upset, but her response would be guilt that she was short with him. It just ruins the story to have her acting like this, no matter what problems Spike and Twilight's relationship has, implying it's on purpose? Just, just no, bad call.

6038470

Doesn't really ruin the story if I have to say so. Rather, it gives the story some quite needed elements like: Plot for awesome overthrow of a bad naive idiotic leader, awesome father son building between Tywin and Spike but also opens up for some kind of flash back to explain why she only sees him like that, rather then what you said about 'loves' him. So now shoo

6038470 I would like to think that twilight only said that in the heat of the moment. She was clearly angry with tywin, and twilight diverted some of that anger at spike when he mentioned him.

6038854
I can't agree with you, it strikes me as completely out of character for Twilight to even consider Spike her servant or to use some notion of class as a justification. Saying "shut up" Specifically strikes me as not her speaking, yes telling him to be quiet or asserting she is a parental figure and knows what's best for Spike that I see as in her character.

Naive Twilight? Certainly, Idiotic, no. Overthrown? Nearly maybe, Tywin's approach is violent and selfish and he sees that as the only way, his trying to impose his ideas and getting push back feels like the conflict driver here. Twilight finding her approach is too easy going for someone like him, or that she needs to be directly involved in his rehabilitation. Twilight is naive sure but she's also smart and determined.

This is not saying I feel the story is ruined, it's that Twilight character is "off"

6039559 OK, I just want to make one thing clear to you; Twilight isn't out of character, this is just how I view her through my interpretation of the show. You clearly seem to see her as motherly, but I however see her as nothing but a bitch. And there are moments in the show that prove otherwise:
1. You say that Twilight doesn't judge Spike by some class standard. If that's the case, then how come she makes him sleep in a dog basket? You can argue that she doesn't have enough money to afford one, but if you were to remember 'look before you sleep', you can clearly see that she did have an extra bed all along--which means Spike shouldn't have to be sleeping in that basket to begin with. And for that matter, what about the part in 'castle sweet castle' when they were in a bed store buying a bed for Spike? I mean, they did purchase one, right? Because in the episodes after that, he's clearly still sleeping in a basket. I mean, did Twilight just decided to get rid of the bed because she prefers treating Spike like a pet? And before you start saying 'Oh, Twilight and the others would never think that way about Spike!' then how do you explain that Spike is the only one who doesn't turn into a human in Equestria Girls? While he's a dog, Twilight and every other pony character are humans; and if that doesn't symbolize how these ponies view Spike, then I don't know what is.
2. What about those moments where Spike gives Twilight advice and she never bothers following it? In 'boast busters' he tells her to use her magic against Trixie, and yet she thinks that everybody will hate her (which doesn't make sense, seeing as how in previous episodes before it, she clearly showed the ponies that she can do magic). And in 'bridle gossip' Spike literally had the book that would've cured Twilight's and the ponies poisoned joke right in front of her face, but she never bothered taking a peak at it. And in the end when she realized that Spike was right all along, did she ever actually admit to him that he was right? Nope, she never bothers to bring any of it up--as if he never told her so in the first place.
3.And what about those moments she and the ponies abuse him. You say that she's suppose to be Spike's 'mother', if that's case then why did she and the ponies did nothing when Spike was on that melting peace of ice in 'winter wrap up'? If she cared about him so much, then why didn't she teleport him back to her before he sanked into the water? I mean does she not care that her so-called 'son' had almost drowned? And what about in 'fall weather friends' where they were using him as a crash test dummy? Did Twilight ever objected to it or try to talk them into using an actual dummy instead? Hell, when Rainbow Dash had flung him into the air, did Twilight ever use her magic to make sure Spike landed safely and not suffer God knows how many injuries? No, she just let them do it without even so much as batting an eye. And what kind of 'mother' allows her own 'child's' life to be put at risk like that?
4.How do you explain those moments when she and the others give Spike that dirty, angry look? If you were to watch 'boast busters' 'show stoppers' 'lesson zero' 'luna eclipsed' and 'super speedy cider squeezy 6000' then you probably know the look I'm talking about. Sometimes whenever Spike says something, Twilight and the ponies--for no reason at all--give him this scowl as if they were saying "Why don't you just die already?" it's weird because I'm pretty sure that the ponies in this show are suppose to be nice and friendly to one another, so then why would ever look at Spike as if they're just waiting to beat him to a pulp? It sort of goes against the whole friendship message if you really think about it.
5.What about the time Twilight got Owlicious; she might've clarified at the end that she never wanted to replace Spike, but why did she wait till the end to say that? Why didn't she say in the very beginning that wasn't going to replace him? All of that literally could've been avoided if she had just said, "Spike, this is my new pet, Owlicious. He's going to be helping me whenever you're too tired to help, so don't feel like I'm trying to replace you."
6.Now what about those moments where Spike was never brought along? For example, in the 'sweet and elite' episode, Twilight decides to celebrate her birthday over at Canterlot with her friends. You seem to believe that Twilight does consider Spike as one of her friends (especially seeing as how he's got a throne of his own in that new castle), but if he is one of her friends, then how come she was never invited to her party? This was their childhood home, and a birthday is something that should be celebrated with your friends and family, but if Spike really was one of her friends--or a part of her family--then how come he wasn't there with her. That alone proves that Twilight only consider him to be nothing but some servant. And let's not forget that fucking portrait in 'castle sweet castle'; you know, the one where Spike is only seen in the corner. The fact that he was barely in it just shows how these ponies don't want anything to do with him.
7. Also, how about all those times these ponies don't really consider him to be a threat to them? It's like they forget that he's a fire breathing monster with razor sharp teeth and claws that could rip them apart in a millisecond. And in 'secret of my excess', we saw him turn into a full grown dragon and nearly destroyed all of Ponyville. And yet in 'dragon quest' we saw them laughing at him and saying that he's not a real dragon; did they really just forgot that he nearly destroyed everything? I mean did it ever occured to them that laughing at him and treating him like crap would just motivate him to make himself greedy just so he can turn into a gaint monster and get back at them? And even at the end where they all made up with eachother, did they ever change the way they treat Spike. No, because in the next episode after that, we literally see them go back to treating him the same way as before. (Like all that stuff in 'dragon quest' never happened in the first place.)
8.Last, but most importantly, there are also times when Spike was the one who fixed a problem, and yet didn't receive any thanks or credit for it. Like what about the time in 'lesson zero' where Spike had told Celestia that Twilight was going crazy; if he hadn't told her, she never would've been able to remove that spell on everybody. And even after Celestia flat told them that Spike was practically the one to thank for all this, did Twilight--or any of them--say "Thank you Spike"? No, all they did was make him write a report and also give that nasty look when he pointed out that he was the one who fixed that problem. And what about when Spike saved the Crystal Empire; did the ponies finally treated him some bit of respect? No, they still think he's incapable. He might've gotten his own stained-glass window, but that didn't stop the conductor from not allowing Spike to enter the train without chaperones or having to pay a fee. (You'd think that after saving an empire, Spike would finally be given special privileges seeing as how he's clearly a hero at this point.) Now I know that the crystal ponies do at least honor Spike, but how come he wasn't invited during 'just for sidekicks'? I mean he did save them, and they established that the ponies there worship him, so how come he didn't get to go there before? Were they still working on his statue and just didn't want him to see it unfinished? Also, in 'inspiration manifestation', Spike might've caused the problem by giving Rarity that book, but he was still technically the one who fixed that problem when he told her the truth. And after saving Ponyville, did Twilight congratulate Spike for fixing his own mistake? No, she insteads berates him for causing a problem without even so much as mentioning that he did fix it.
OK, you've also stated that Twilight is no way stupid, but I think this bit of information proves otherwise:
1.Twilight is the Element of Magic (meaning that she always uses it). However, did you ever stop to notice that Twilight barely takes advantage of it? For example, when she and the others were running away from the hydra, why were they having to jump across those rocks? Couldn't Twilight have simply use her teleporting spell to teleport herself and the others to the other side instead? And what about in 'Canterlot wedding' where she and Cadance were trying to get out of the caverns? Why were they wasting there time roaming around when they could've teleported themselves straight to the wedding room? And for that matter, how come she and the others always have to travel by train? Couldn't she save alot of money just by teleporting her and her friends straight to their destinations? They never really said that her magic has limits; in 'Twilight's Kingdom' we literally saw her teleporting herself straight to far away places. And if that's not enough for you, then how about in 'dragon quest' where she teleported themselves away from the dragons? It never specified that they were taken to Ponyville, but it clearly showed that her magic has no limits. In other words, she has the power of a freaking goddes and yet she's not even smart enough take advantage of them.
2.Also, do you ever if Twilight really does need Spike? I mean, it's not like she's ever pulling any weight whenever she has to get a book or has to clean up a mess; all she has to do is use her magic and she can literally take care of herself without breaking a sweat. So if you get down to it, she has no reason to keep Spike. She's a grown up, she should be taking care of her own responsibilties while Spike should be with his real family as a free dragon. But no, Twilight instead wants to have some personal kid slave to do things for her rather than embrace her responsibilities like an adult.
Now look, I can understand that you see her differently, but this is my interpretation of her. You say that she's movely and caring, I however see her as a bitch who just trying to hide the fact that she is one. And to me, Spike is a victim of hypocrisy and unfair treatment. This is the direction this story's going to go; if you don't like, then don't read it. But the very least you can do is respect other peoples interpretations and not just view as 'going out of character'. Some people just like to think differently than others.

Comment posted by Xanderfox deleted May 31st, 2015

Tyrion is Tywin's son...the Lannisters seem to carry a gene for the IMP SLAP.

The more I read, the more I want to read. Please, go on.

With a wait like this you'd think that the author is George RR Martin himself XD

Ok my last response was a little heated, but I can accept characters making slightly OC acts in a fan fiction, especially if it's about them making mistakes I hold to the idea Twilight would never knowingly be classist (and would after some time realize she was and try to correct it). That said, Tywin just made his worst mistake, trusting Discord. Not and out of character error mind you, but trusting the master of Chaos, not going end well I'd think. I could easily see Discord laughing his tail off as Tywin's methods spread chaos as they inevitably clash with Pony philosophy and instincts also.. should Tywin's actions threaten Fluttershy...

Honestly all Tywin needs to say to gain Discord as an ally is "serve me and I will give you Fluttershy to do with as you wish". Discord would likely do anything to simply keep Fluttershy forever XD

That part about Tywin reading that Shudder... Awful book was hilarious.

You get a like and fave. Good job.

you beautiful bastard i could kiss you

6040704 i could kiss you for this story more

I can honestly I don't like this story any more because Twilight and Spike are Soooo OC. I can't give you technical criticisms but I just feels far too OFF to enjoy anymore. I get that Spike often comes off as mistreated by Twilight, but to the level of her seeing him as a servant? Little more than a slave? I just can't see their relationship as that unfair and cold hearted, I can't see Twilight has that cold toward anypony. Basically it points out that for emotionally dead person like Tywin (lets face it as a character Tywin's ability to love die with his wife, make him a great villain but a horrible person) to gain actual traction in Equestria with his heartless manipulative ways is for a character like Twilight to act like a monster.

...I'll never look at the show the same again, thank you Twilight.

Omg an update xD

If Tywin went to Equestria this is probably exactly what would happen...

Thank goodness that the story is on a roll now. It was getting kinda boring waiting for new chapters

This is excellent. You did a marvelous job with capturing Tywin's personality to a T. I look forward to more.

Comment posted by Brasta Septim deleted May 23rd, 2016

7207575 Honestly, I'm curious as to how he'll usurp Celestia and Luna. Heck, I prefer him over Celestia in spite of how he treats his children.

God damn Lord Tywin just wrecked house, made Applejack question Twilight's ability to even be a useful friend and Spike finally told Rarity his feelings for her! In all an amazing chapter!

And who are you, the bandit King said,
That I must bow so low?
Only a lord of a different land,
That's all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of grey,
A warrior still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp my lord,
As long and sharp as yours.

And so he spoke, and so he spoke
That "King" of Canter Creek.

But now the rains weep o'er his hall,
With not a Rustler left to hear.
Yes, now the rains weep o'er his hall,
With not a soul to hear.

I'm sold i love this story i would love to see more i'll be watching for the next chapter with bated breath

I can't wait for the next chapter. Good job.

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