• Member Since 5th Feb, 2019
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

The Cloptimist


do not mistake peace for quiet

E

What did happen to the "other" Sunset Shimmer? The human one? The one who isn't a pony? Where is she?

Sunset is pretty sure she knows the answer.

Featured, 2nd March 2019! Thank you!


Featured on Equestria Daily, 1st May 2020
One of Equestria Daily's 30 Best Fanfics to Read for Sunset Day, September 2020

Reviews
4* (Recommended), Louder Yay
9/10, My Little Reviews & Feedback
Highly Recommended, PresentPerfect Fic Reviews

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 39 )

I'm in the middle of writing a new, longer story I hope you guys will really like, but the idea for Red/Yellow popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I got it down on paper, so... yeah.

Not exactly laugh a minute stuff, but I've wanted to do something made up of loads of little tiny disjointed bits for a while now, and it seemed to fit the story I came up with both for why Sunset was so damaged, and where her "real" human counterpart is. Anyway, it's taken me back to the "Popular Stories" box, so that's nice; I hope you enjoy/ed reading it.

I enjoyed this! And I tend to take Shimmy pretty seriously, so that's saying something.

Thanks for sharing this story. :twilightsmile:

9484885
Aw. Thank you for saying so, it's much appreciated. I'm new here and so every thoughtful comment is gratefully received, but it's even more so when writers I really respect take the time to say nice things. Cheers.

Now, so long as she's back by morning, she knows there's only so bad things can get.

I think you're trying to say "she knows things can only get so bad"?

I'm also not sure why you switched between past and present tense. It was rather jarring.

Still, other than that, this was handled quite nicely. Good emotion and self-reflection.

9485886
Hey, just realised I'd not actually hit "reply" here - thank you for this! I'm always grateful for feedback.

Both the things you flagged up were intentional, but I take your point, they could both potentially just seem like a lack of attention to detail (when in fact it was the opposite!)

The phrase you highlighted is meant to be a more colloquial turn of phrase - Sunset doesn't "say" anything during this story (other than the journal entry), so I thought it worked better if her thoughts at the time were conveyed by the narrator using less precise language (to match the "so long as..." instead of "as long as" immediately preceding), especially as that particular scene is the youngest we see her.

As for the tenses thing... I hope it didn't just come across as sloppy proofing! I was in two minds about it originally, but I wanted to give the vignettes a different feel to the "walking around in shock, getting wet" frame story, and I felt like the present tense gave them a bit more of the slightly freeform immediacy I was trying for. I'm sorry if it just ended up being jarring!

Anyway, these were basically experiments, as I wanted to write a story that really only consisted of little standalone scenes; I'll bear in mind they were a bit clunky, and try to avoid that happening in future stories. Thanks for the tips!

9489918

The phrase you highlighted is meant to be a more colloquial turn of phrase - Sunset doesn't "say" anything during this story (other than the journal entry), so I thought it worked better if her thoughts at the time were conveyed by the narrator using less precise language (to match the "so long as..." instead of "as long as" immediately preceding), especially as that particular scene is the youngest we see her.

I see what you're trying to accomplish, but I don't think it works for this particular sentence.

but I wanted to give the vignettes a different feel to the "walking around in shock, getting wet" frame story, and I felt like the present tense gave them a bit more of the slightly freeform immediacy I was trying for. I'm sorry if it just ended up being jarring!

On the other hand, this did work out a lot better. It was still a bit jarring, sure, but it still worked for what you wanted reasonably okay.

But like I said in my first comment, I still enjoyed the story.

Beautiful, touching story.

May the stories never end!

9491338
Aw, thank you very much!

A fascinating take on Sunset's history, and the more disturbing implications of the parallels between the universes. Her struggle to come to terms with the news is well-paced and comes to a satisfying conclusion, and the way her early experiences soured her relationship with Princess Celestia works very well indeed. Thank you for this.

9494686
Thank you for taking the time to say so. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that what I was trying to do worked for you!

This gave me feelings.

Have a favorite.

9498340
Thank you so much! Glad you liked it.

Very nicely done

9506147
Thank you. It's really encouraging to hear from people who liked this, I'm still so new here.

Personally, I love the rain. It's a large portion of what I enjoy about living in Coastal Oregon. That said, I do find it interesting how a lot of people seem to headcanon Sunset's folks not being around. I had to take a step back a moment at:

"She likes the attention, she likes the pity, she even likes the space she gets given when she dusts off the story... the other students, her teachers, even Princess Celestia herself..."

largely because this strikes an interestingly real chord. There's a tendency in people who've experienced some sort of trauma to at times use pieces of it as a sort of emotional ECM. When someone gets too close, dust off the story about how you've had it bad, and get out of trouble. Or get the person who is poking a little too firmly at your soft underbelly to stop because that soft spot is really spines! Yep! Totally spines! Not soft squishy bits at all. It's definitely something I've seen a fair bit in both my office (I'm a mental health therapist irl) and in my friends. It also takes quite a bit out of the person to drop the ECM and stop using 'safe' trauma as a sort of chaff to redirect conversations away from what really hurts.

I know you were being slightly self-deprecating when you said this story wasn't a laugh a minute, but I did find it interesting. Whether you intended to or not, you did a very good job explaining a lot of Sunset's stuff as a reaction to an attachment wound, which I found kind of interesting. Stylistically, your story has some... quirkiness that occasionally makes it a little weird to read, but it's not a bad thing. Writing in present tense is kinda weird, but all things considered it works for this story. But, overall, it definitely comes across with some little bits of genuine feelings. I feel like there's probably a bit of a story behind this, but I could also be projecting as an adoptee, so I'mma shush on that front. ^^;

Loved it! Amazing work on the characterization and the atmosphere, and specially how the whole thing just oozes with style. And, of course, that revelation hits you like a freight train.

9628836
Aw, thank you very much. Glad you liked it.

This is a fascinating story, and you pack a lot into just a few short paragraphs. It's exactly as long as it needs to be, with the little hints giving us a clear picture even in brevity. Well done.

I don’t think I’ve read anything by you before, but I clearly probably should. This was well done and intriguing. I always enjoy stumbling across gems like this.

9691635
Aw, well, that's really kind of you to say. Thank you!

A lot of my stories are just silly clop, but I hope you enjoy the rest of them if you check them out!

9691642
I probably will be able to get through those ones, actually. I’ll try to leave a comment on each one.

9691653
Thank you very much!

If you, or anyone else, ever wanted to look at the M rated ones, then I'd say my other Sunset one - In Search of Lost Time - is definitely my favourite (despite the silly premise because my friends are silly).

9691725
I’d be more surprised to hear if you didn’t have silly friends.

Very engaging and quite well-written. Red and yellow seem to describe her hair, though I'm not sure why you chose that particular title. Your descriptions of Sunset's euphoric enjoyment of rainfall were rather beautiful. And the tone of this fic has a sort of contemplative, pensive feel to it. It was a good read. Thank you kindly for sharing. ☔
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/477/527/b5c.gif

9708338
Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! The rain stuff came from the heart. It all does.

You're the first person to mention the odd title, I was wondering when someone would call me out for it! Yes, it refers most obviously to her colour palette, but more specifically it's a reference to a YouTube Equestria Girls reaction/review video I saw a couple of years ago and can no longer find, where some shouty guy loathed her character and design so much that he kept referring to her as "the red and yellow OC" instead of using her name. So, I thought, well, that could be a good thing to explore, y'know, what makes her more than someone's red/yellow OC? What would it matter if she was, does it deny her legitimacy as a character, especially since she's been quarantined from canon in the show proper in the same way her new life in Pedestria was, for the longest time, quarantined from her old life in Equestria?

So I used that as a placeholder title. I liked the idea that it also sort of vaguely conveys the swirl of emotions, and specifically the anger and fear, that go through her mind at various points in the story. At the time of the first draft, there was a little extra scene in the middle which gave it another dimension, where we'd cut back to Present Day Sunset as she was waiting at a crosswalk and a fire engine went past in a blur of red and yellow, which would then segué back to the post-explosion vignette, but it always felt really clunky and obvious so I junked it. But I never came up with a better title, and so the placeholder just ended up sticking!

Um, anyway, that's why it's called that.

9628875
Realised I never said thank you for this! So, well, thank you for this!
As with a couple of other stories (Familiar in particular, but also Dragon Lord Ember Skips Work), it was an idea that came together really quickly, and where I didn't want to overload readers with too much information - I'm glad to hear it worked for you!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Really good stuff. :O

Well, gosh. Thank you very much, Equestria Daily folk!

Thanks to the Equestria Daily feature, this one is only 30 views away from overtaking Dragon Lord Ember Skips Work For An Hour to become my most viewed story ever.

Huh. Huh...

I'm a sucker for Sunset counterpart stories, and I'd be lying if I said this wasn't one of the best I've come across. Well written, well rounded theory, and the right amount of sadness for reading at 4am. As the kids say these days, it "hit me right in the feels".

10355345
Well, thank you, that's very kind of you to say. Glad you liked it!

Going through some old reviews, I discovered I hadn't given this story the favourite it deserved. Very belatedly, then, here you are! Full review here (which I know you've seen) but in brief: interesting use of the dual worlds, and satisfying emotional stuff.

Holy stars above!

What a beautiful piece. A positively inspiring, thought-provoking piece. I love it. Every word, every sentence punched my feelings (in a good way!) and bruised my heart.

And your story structure. You danced between various points of time, jumping from present Sunset to filly Sunset to baby Sunset to asking-for-Twilight’s-help Sunset. If this were any other author, I would have stopped reading. But with this you, not once - and I mean not once - did I feel lost or confused. That’s not exactly easy to pull off, so congrats.

Long story short, Red/Yellow is a stunning work and is going in my ’Heartstrings’ shelf.

11138126
Well, thank you very much! That's very kind of you to say, and much appreciated (and also well timed, given this one has picked up two random drive-by downvotes this month!) I've always had a soft spot for this one among the things I've written, I'm really glad it struck a chord. :twilightsmile:

11138636
You’re welcome!

Very nice, the fire pony in particular.

11291273
Thank you for taking the time to say so, it's appreciated! :twilightsmile:

Very mysterious take on the mystery! The non-linear narrative is well done in pulling it together. I can really feel the questions buzzing, too.

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