• Member Since 5th Feb, 2019
  • offline last seen 29 minutes ago

The Cloptimist


...tear the book out of the page...

E

Torque Wrench does a favor for Kerfuffle in her hour of need. Not that it means they're friends or anything. Just a little engineering project, don'tcha know.

A little story that takes place before the Mane 6 arrive in Hope Hollow for the events of Rainbow Roadtrip. We don't have tags for any of the new characters yet (edit: we do now!), but I loved them all, and especially these two, so I wanted to just write a little story in that world.

Edited by Tranquil Serenity.


Highly Recommended, PresentPerfect Fic Recs
4* (Recommended), Louder Yay
9/10, My Little Reviews & Feedback

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 23 )

Nice bit of slice of life for the fandoms two newest waifus.

9707997
Thanks very much! I'm surprised to apparently be first (and I thought someone might have already written a Petunia Petals story by now!)

This definitely deserves more attention than it has. Well done.

9708391
Thank you very much! All feedback is always appreciated, but especially when it's on a story that seems to have gotten off to a rather slow start!

I could hazard some guesses as to why this seems to have fallen through the cracks a bit views-wise - if you've not seen the special and don't want to be spoilered you'll stay away, if you've not seen it but don't care about spoilers this is basically two OCs, and since that one downvote (at the time of writing) came within literal seconds of the story being cleared for publication I'm guessing some people just don't like the idea of a (SFW) Rainbow Roadtrip story at all? - but in terms of the actual story, the vote ratio is nice, the comments have been nice, and a lot of people seem to have added it to their favourites, so I'm happy enough.

The character tags for Kerfuffle and Torque only got approved after a couple of hours, I'm guessing more people might find it and check it out in the coming days and weeks once they've had a chance to watch or rewatch the special, at which point I just hope they like it!

Congrats on writing the first Kerfuffle Fic on the site.

9709467
Thanks. The first of many, I hope! Though hopefully when she gets more stories, they'll do better than mine has :twilightsheepish:

(Posted this as a reply to a comment on The 24th Pegasus' own excellent Kerfuffle & Torque story I Remember Red, where the commenter said they found Kerfuffle and her prosthetic leg "distracting", and I thought I should probably post it here for my own readers as well!)

...I didn't find it distracting at all, I found it really inspiring to see such a warm, positive, upbeat portrayal of a character with a prosthetic limb. Like with Scootaloo's aunts, I thought it was entirely the right way to do it - no big speeches or clunky shoehorning or Very Special Episode guff, just an absolutely matter-of-fact presentation: "people like this exist, it's not a big deal or even worth noting, let's get on with the story."

I knew as soon as she appeared that a bunch of fics would happen speculating on what happened with her leg, but that's just the nature of fanfiction when presented with something both intriguing and unexplained - I'm pretty sure neither 24th Pegasus nor me, nor any of the future authors who will surely write great Kerfuffle stories, was looking to fill a gap that didn't need filling with our headcanons here. She's just a great character and I hope there'll be lots more stories with her in the future!

You know? This was a very nice read and I wouldn't mind seeing another. :twilightsmile:

9710912
Thank you for saying so!

Dan

Reminder that very few Whinneysotan's EVER say "Youbetcha" or "dontcha'know" unless being facetious. That's more of a UP thing.

9716972
In the special itself, I'm assuming it was heavily exaggerated as a kind of shorthand, to avoid having anypony explicitly mention whereabouts the town was meant to be, rather than an attempt to carefully and accurately mimic any real-world dialect. Both Mayor Sunny Skies and Kerfuffle manage to work in "dont'cha know" a couple of times in the half hour we see them.

(The overuse of) "You betcha" - in this context, a quote from the Mayor - to signify LOOK WE MINNESOTA NOW to outsiders like me comes from Fargo, which I'm pretty sure both Rainbow Roadtrip and the Whinnyapolis pony from Princess Spike are either riffing on or using as a reference. Just be glad I didn't call this story Stack My Pancakes!

This was a nice, enjoyable little read. Almost obligatory when you think about it. It makes sense that Torque was the one who helped Kerfuffle maintain her prosthetic leg, and making it in the first place isn't that far of a stretch either. :pinkiesmile:

The little bits of color appearing and no one noticing was a nice touch, as that wouldn't necessarily have been exclusive to after the Mane 6 arrived. 🌈

I did feel you were taking liberty with Moody Root's character though, as even though he seemed a bit grumpy and reclusive in the special, he warmed pretty quickly, and didn't appear to me like somepony who would be unsympathetic if somepony was hurt on his property. 🤔

I was also a bit surprised that Kerfuffle's face fell when Torque told her the prosthetic was just free because she was letting her try it as a prototype, and that she might produce more of them to sell later. 💰 I doubt there are any more amputees in Hope Hollow, and it seems a little unlikely that Torque would be able to advertise selling/making prosthetics elsewhere - at least not easily - so I kinda just expected Kerfuffle to give her a knowing smirk, understanding that Torque was just putting up a front to hide her soft center. :unsuresweetie:

"...sure I don't know if I mighta helped but I know this place wouldn't be so very depressin' as it is now!"

"Oh, um..." said the nurse, shyly, "see now, the thing is, well, this room was actually always gray, so, um, it wouldn't have made any difference..."

That was funny. :pinkiehappy: In a subdued, unexpected chuckle sort of way, but certainly funny. :trixieshiftright:

I liked this story, and I'm honesty intrigued at the possibility of you writing more about Hope Hollow's residents in the future. I'd especially like to see how you'd portray Petunia Petals. Thanks so much for sharing! :twilightsmile:

9718657
Thank you very much!

Hmm, oh... that was absolutely what I was going for, that this is obviously Torque just doing a nice thing and the prototype thing is a transparent front Kerfuffle sees through straight away. Kerfuffle's disappointment was meant to be because Torque is still feeling so hopeless that she feels she has to keep up her gruff facade, not because she believes Torque's cover story. I'll try and rewrite that part to make it more obvious.

As for Moody, and wanting to read more of my Hope Hollow Headcanon Horsewords (thank you, BTW!)... Watch this space!

Hmm, can a simple wooden fence that falls down on a mare really cause such an injury that an entire leg would be lost? This doesn't feel like it's enough to cause such a severe injury.
The plot with Torque Wrench helping Kerfuffle contradicts what Sunny Skies said, a little, I wonder what inspired you to it. But I love how you have Barley and Pickle as the only ones who still visit a sick pony in hospital! Foals, always having a much bigger heart than adults have. :heart:

9716972

But that's not Minnesota in the special, is it? It's Hope Hollow, a town located in Equestria, so things are differently there than here on Earth. It's not supposed to mimic Minnesotan culture, so there's no reason to be offended by the portrayal.

Oh, this is absolutely perfect. This is the kind of story I love. Cute and heartwarming, reads exactly like an episode. And the dialogue is fantastic.

9762459
Thank you so much!
I was working on a sequel of sorts but got a bit bogged down with Real Life... Should be ready soon. I hope.

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Oh my god I love these ponies so much. :D

9774608
They are so good! I wish G5 could just be this.
(And thank you for the favourite!)

Brilliant work. Returning color to neutral or transparent objects was an especially nice touch. And Torque going full tsundere was downright adorable. Thank you for this.

9779671
Aw, thank you so much! I don't know why this is getting so much love all of a sudden but I'm so happy to see everypony enjoying it, it's one of my favourite things I've written!

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