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It's fanfiction all the way down.


Ponyville is celebrating its history wrong. Luckily, Twilight is there to explain things to them!

A commission for Multiversecruise, based on the prompt: "Write a story about season 1 twilight, with her sarcastic, no-nonsense attitude still learning to deal with Pinkie's Pinkieness!"

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 334 )

“No, I’m a pegasus warrior!” She buzzed her wings. “Now gimmie candy or I punch your stuffing out, ground pony.”

This quote reminds me of Purge: Election year's candy girl

Comment posted by Johnny Walker deleted Jan 7th, 2019


Nope. You're thinking of "Twilight Sparkle vs Social Inequality," which is a completely different story.

Right for the jugular, this one.:rainbowlaugh:

This is a very good story, but with a title like that, I don't think you're going to attract the sort of audience you're looking for


Oh god, you didn’t tell me you would give it that title.

You seem to make a hobby of poking beehives Jaxie, but damn if you don’t write some good horsewords.

There is definitely something here. Everyone should be sure to read through to the very end.

I swear he didnt tell me about that title.

I mean... hopefully people will read the story through before they assume this story is something it isn’t?


If you really don't like the title, I will change it! It's your commission.

But you're right. I adore throwing stones at beehives.

You really should change that title.

This story shows exactly why "Social Justice" is so harmful, most SJW'S like Twilight at the beginning act like their the "good guys" and that anyone who disagrees with them are the "bad guys" which only leads to blind hatred. Sadly, most SJW'S won't actually ever reevaluate their believes like Twilight did and will continue to push everyone close to them away like she almost did to Pinkie because their too stuck in their black-and-white mentality to even consider that they might be actually be hurting real people.

Every political movement needs to be reminded once in a while that they can be full of it. Great story!

Though I do think the name is either going to attract a bunch of people whining about SJW's or a bunch of SJW's whining about... I dunno, what's hot now? The idea that hot is inherently good?

Also, caught a few minor Community references!

“Having fun is racist now.”

Congrats Pinkie, you won the quote of the decade.


Thank you! I tried to make it deep. Stories are better with a real friendship lesson at the end.

Pinkie Pie sniffed. She rubbed her eyes. “Twilight,” she said, a smile dawning on her face. “You had me at ‘fire.’”

“That was literally the last word I said.”

“Oh yeah,” Pinkie agreed. “I totally didn’t forgive you right away. You were a huge jerk.”

This is what made me laugh hardest. Great story.

I say keep the title. Ree-er's gonna ree. Let them complain to someone who cares.

Hm, I'm not *too* bothered by it, since I already got the funny twilight/pinkie banter I wanted, and if this comment section becomes a minefield I can just ignore it. I wonder what we would even change it to, though?

"Twilight Sparkle Vs. Historical Revisionism"
-would be slightly less loaded, maybe?

"In which Pinkie and Twilight burn the Latter's Ancestor in Effigy"
-can communicate that this is still a humorous story and don't take it too seriously, y'all!

Any ideas?

Community references? :O

I must have missed them! Do tell!


I'm curious too, since that wasn't intentional.

... Hey, I remember, I have to go to Silent Hill to pick up something... (Laughs nervously, then runs.)

This story was much more nuanced then expected from the title, but I don't really agree with the moral of it. Most of it anyway. but if a holiday, or anything really, has terrible origins in something, I don't agree with turning a blind eye to it's unfortunate implications and ideals, just so a few can feel better about themselves.

If the Princesses have ruled Equestria for over a thousand years, how can Diamond Sparkle be Twilight's great-great-great grandmother?

“After all, the earth pony nation is ruled by a mare with a horn.”

This bugs me, and I think the reason why is the implication in it that Celestia is just a unicorn with some extra appendages, and calls into question the legitimacy of her government.

This is why I stay out of politics: It invariably becomes a bloody quagmire of nonsense that doesn’t do anything except turn neighbor against neighbor and distract them from the true enemy.

Honestly, I'm way more sympathetic towards Twilight since it's literally a holiday about burning her ancestor to death. An ancestor that had a couple problems yes, but who was still a pretty nice person overall. Who wouldn't feel personal about that?

Twilight Sparkle DESTROYS Pinkie Pie with FACTS and LOGIC!


My parents' generation became refugees after the Chinese government stole their property and kicked them out of the country. As far as I'm concerned, Twilight is a white snowflake crying about a 500 year old lie and Pinkie Pie is a hick who will never win the argument because she can't afford a "I was personally tutored by the 1000-year old ruler of the country, if you give a convincing argument, I'll have you executed for treason"-education.

You have it backwards. Twilight is the white person in this scenario that is told, because of her race, that she is not allowed to be offended because her feelings don't matter. She isn't even anti-SJW. She is just uncomfortable about a holiday that literaly celebrates the vilification and murder of one of her ancesters.


Provocative statement which has no relation to the story or the parable attempt being drawn.

One person is whiny bitch for being asked to celebrate the burning and lynching of their ancestor, and the other person is a noble doomed everyperson for wishing to continue said celebrations about the burning and lynching of their friend's ancestor after being explicitly told that the celebration is about the burning and lynching of said friend's ancestor.


I re-read it, and I think I just linked Twilight to Britta and jumped at shadows. Twilight "I may have done some damage there" is one my favorite punchlines, but it's probably a coincidence.

Now that I'm thinking about it, Twilight isn't even Britta, seeing as Pinkie ended up dragging her around Ponyville instead of Twilight attacking Ponyville or something.

More than a bit surprised at the number of downvotes on this, to be honest. As always, you're pretty good at writing conversation-starters, old pal. :twilightsmile:

Rather than comment on who is right or wrong, I actually think this story does a good job on reaching a compromise, something far more of us should strive for. Twilight is within her right to be offended, just as Pinkie is within her right to celebrate. Not every real life situation is probably as nuanced, of course (Columbus Day can f:yay:k right off), but Rarity really was the perfect one to make Twilight see the situation from a different point of view and at least accept that there was some legitimacy to it. And even if it isn't totally accurate or politically correct, what's the harm in having a little fun and pride in one's culture?

I look at this way: I'm an athiest, but I don't get pissy around Christmas with people who post nativity displays in their yard or put up signs that say "Remember the REASON for the SEASON!" with a big ol' Jesus picture on it even though I know that:

  1. Most of the holiday traditions we have are leftover from pagan cultures
  2. Christmas was formerly a bawdy celebration that was banned by the early WASP predecessors we often point to as "the first Americans"
  3. and Jesus, assuming he ever existed, was almost certainly not born on December 25th

Why not? Because it doesn't matter. If they feel more spiritual at Christmas for being religious about it, well, good for them. At the end of the day, we can all still sing stupid carols, be with family, and get completely plastered on eggnog. And that's good enough for me. :pinkiesmile:


“What was the name of the seven-year period after the first Spring Rising?”

“Because there was a famine, Pinkie,” Twilight said, her voice stern. “Between the years 242 and 244 AF there were widespread crop failures..."

“She’s my great-great-great grandmother, Pinkie.”

Diamond sparkle lived 5 generations ago, but from the dates (244 (years) After (the) Fall (of nightmare moon)) 5 generations ago must be about 756 years. I guess ponies just live for almost 132 years before having foals in this world.

There might actually be some canonical truth in this. If I'm remembering correctly, there was some sort of conspiracy about Granny Smith's age from some pictures in an episode where she hadn't aged much but the gap was something like "50 moons".

You could not have botched this harder if you tried. You could have ended it with Twilight and Pinkie understanding that the holiday means something different to the other and respecting each others feelings. Instead the story says that since Twilight is a unicorn she is completely in the wrong and that her feelings don't matter, and since Pinkie is an Earth Pony she is completely in the right and her feelings are more important. Creating this horrendous black-and-white scenario. This story is incredibly racist.

Also, the title could not be more accurate.

Personally, I'm just a bit bugged by the whole "foals go round knocking on all the unicorns' doors." Why only the unicorns' doors? Why should they have to pay for their ancestors' (perceived) sins? I know that I'm over-dramatising here but it is a tradition that has carried hatred from the past to the presents and encourages the association of unicorns with evil in the foals that do participate.


Then I guess we need to outlaw the Fourth of July because of all the British ancestors killed. And Halloween cause of all the accused 'witches' ancestors who were literally raped, tortured and burned alive. And Veterans Day because of all the veteran ancestors who were killed. And children's day because of all the sibling ancestors who were smothered because their parents couldn't afford to feed them all. Actually, we should just outlaw all holidays cause theres always someone who died on every day of the year.

You make a good point!

Whenever it actually was that Christ was actually born it certainly isn't the reason we have Christmas on December the 25th.
Source Link Here

Nevertheless I'm not gonna be a jerk about it to people wanting to celebrate the more religious/spiritual side of the holiday.

Then again, Christmas generally sends a message of charity, goodwill to all, and letting that poor immigrant family stay in your manger.

Certain other historically revisionist holidays like Columbus day I might not be as positive about... but even then I guess I won't go out of my way to bother people about it when they're just trying to celebrate? I mean, it isn't their fault: they never learned about some of the messed up shit Columbus did. Heck sometimes I wish *I* didn't know, so I could go back to that innocent time when I thought Disney's Pocahontas was a more or less accurate representation of how American settlers acted.

I guess broken pedestals and learning your heroes weren't as good as you thought is part of growing up. I'm just not very eager to rush in and tell everyone Santa isn't real.

What about requests? Do you do requests?

Independence Day (for the United States) celebrates exactly that, which followed a war in which both sides had casualties and committed atrocities which are acknowledged to this day.
Hallowe'en has grown from an amalgamation of various festivals which have coalesced around 31 October in various cultures, predominantly in western Europe, which venerate the dead, martyrs, and saints, and which in modern times has picked up elements of fun with the occult; the historic execution of witches has no relation to it, except for the occult.
Veterans' Day literally venerates the fallen of previous wars and their sacrifice.
I am not personally familiar with Childrens' Day, but my passing knowledge would indicate that it too is a celebration of children generally.

None of these is about celebrating the specific death of a specific person, based on known fallacy. You may have wanted to suggest Guy Fawke's Night, in which Britain celebrates the execution of a specific Catholic hired as a mercenary to act on behalf of other Catholics who wished to blow up parliament, if you wanted to at least partway, squintingly match what the story actually contains.

Anyway Jaxie I've made up my mind: please keep the title as-is!

Its been fascinating watching people come in and disagree not just about SJWs themselves but also to disagree whether it is Twilight or Pinkie who represents the SJWs in the story.

-The first few seemed to think Twilight was an SJW for thinking herself the "good guy" and Pinkie the "bad guy"

-Then a buncha folks thought the SJWs were the ones "telling Twilight her feelings didn't matter" because she was of the privileged class.

-Still more people are likely to show up who have other interpretations entirely!

I don't know if I can ask you this simply because I commissioned the story, but I would prefer if you don't yet explicitly say which side was meant to represent the titular "Social Justice" here. I mean, I guess even if you did specify then they might go all Death of the Author on you, but still, I want to watch this fascinating discussion of "what an SJW even is" play out.

Wanderer D

9389070 IKR? I've been tempted to reply to a few people here over and over, but there's throwing rocks at the beehive, and then there's sticking your head in it.


Independence Day (for the United States) celebrates the successful capture and occupation of New York City by British forces until the end of the war? Someone must've forgotten to inform the parade organizers because I didn't see a float for that last year.

Halloween/Harvest Festival is a pagan holiday. It never celebrated saints.

Veterans' Day celebrates US solders. What about all the poor boys who were killed on the other side? We need to include a parade float for all Osama Bin Laden in the next Veterans' Day parade to be fair! *bullshittears*

Your passing knowledge of holidays in general is weak.

Spring Rising isn't a holiday about a specific death of a specific person either. Its about the era and how little has actually changed.

Twilight froze, turning to look over at Rarity. Rarity, for her part, continued. Her voice was saccharine sweet, almost sing-song: “A mare with a horn that makes a unicorn city her capital. A mare with a horn who makes a unicorn city her capital and who personally tutors the most gifted unicorns of each generation. And that mare with a horn who makes a unicorn city her capital and personally tutors the most gifted unicorns of each generation then goes on to appoint those unicorns to governmental posts in earth pony towns without consulting the earth ponies living there first.”


I'll categorize them thusly:

Group A: Those who think Twilight is an overly sensitive snowflake getting offended at harmless traditions.
Team Nickname "There's a War on Christmas"

Group B: Those who think the story is saying Twilight's feelings shouldn't matter because unicorns are privileged, and only the underprivileged Earth ponies' feelings mater.
Team Nickname "Thats reverse-racism!"

I hope you'll stick around to be my control group, Wanderer D! More categorization will ensue as more groups show up! ;)


While I would like to see that, being British (I think it would be humourous), no: US Independence Day does not celebrate an action of a war which was resolved prior to the ending of said war, more than two centuries ago. It celebrates the result of said war, as I previously mentioned.

Hallowe'en, as I mentioned, is an amalgamation of various festivals in various cultures (including Celtic harvest festivals and Gaelic Samhain, among further others) which coalesced around 31 October. These include, but are certainly not limited to, All Saints Eve, All Saints Day, and All Souls' Day, which form part of the calendar for Western Christianity and do indeed celebrate saints, martyrs, the faithful, and the departed.

US Veterans are indeed venerated on US Veterans Day, just as the veterans of other nations' armed forces are venerated on their respective days (such as Armistice Day or Anzac Day); these are days of remembrance for the sacrifice and bravery of said armed forces, not a celebration of conquest or victory. Indeed, there has been (for almost 70 years, if memory serves) growing momentum behind the veneration of all fallen in all wars through the symbol of the white poppy. This has naturally been castigated by tablod media types as SJW-ankery.

Again, none of these celebrate the specific death of a specific person, based on historic fallacy. A key component of Spring Rising was the specific lynching / burning of Ruby Glow to death, as celebrated through the use of effigy (much like in the Guy Fawkes example I gave you). The death of the "evil" Ruby Glow and the ending of her reign of error, separate to the subsequent and ignored "Reign of Terror", is central and fundamental to the modern Spring Rising festival.

Wanderer D

9389134 I'm morbidly interested in the comments, that's for sure. The fact that there's no predominance in either category's side is indicative, I think.

Alondro #44 · Jan 7th, 2019 · · 30 ·

I just kill all SJWs and let God sort em out.

And by 'sert em out', I mean send them all to hell!

And NOT the hell ruled over by South Park Satan. But the BAD hell invented by the Chinese... where everything breaks the day after the warranty end date!


Trust me, if there is something you want to say, say it as soon as possible. Right now you still have critical thinkers that can stay civil. Eventually though, the crazy extemists from both sides of the arguement will come and chase everyone else away. That's when you want to get the Hell out of Dodge.

Comment posted by hollowblade deleted Jan 7th, 2019

I love how both categories are technically anti-SJW in mindset.

Top fucking notch. You really did manage to create a thought provoking piece.

The ending reminds me of the controversial Starlight Glimmer/Discord episide, where Glimmer ended up backing down simply to defuse the situation.


Can't the author just delete any uncivil posts? Wouldn't that stop the crazy extremists from taking over, and chasing everyone else away? Or am I being naive?

Don't know how to feel about this one.

Mainly because Pinkie doesn't acknowledge Twilight's feelings at all at the end and why she has a good reason to feel upset about the holiday. Even more so than any other unicorn when she's a direct descendant.

Maybe if Twilight wasn't directly related I'd feel better.

Of course Twilight's know it all and ruin it for everyone else attitude wasn't OK either. Though she does bring attention to a problem about many people's ignorance about the holidays they celebrate.

Also did not like the "mare with a horn". Because Celestia isn't just a "mare with a horn" when she is supposed to be all three tribes in one.

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