Cadance is the Alicorn of love, but what does that mean if she doesn't have her true love with her?
She needs him, at any cost.
Primary Cast: Cadance
Supporting Cast: Twilight Sparkle
Now with audio reading by CaptainBron3y
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 30th Aug, 2013
- offline last seen Aug 30th, 2023
Crystal Moose
Brony(eeds) a coffee... http://ko-fi.com/crystalmoose
Crystal Moose
Joined 30th Aug, 2013 ·
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Oh man! I NEED to know what Twilight did to get petrified that was incredible! Must have MOAR!
...please?
4985181 Lol, I thought that was kind of heavily implied… but necromancy.
Who knows, I might write a prequel to this one, maybe. This was kind of inspired by some of the Twidance stuff I've been reading lately. Originally it was going to be Twilight rejecting Cadance, yadda yadda, Cadance going to you-know-who.
But in the end, this story was born, which I am kind of happier with than my previous concept. Not entirely happy, but happier
4985195
Okay now I know but, still more... please? *big filly begging eyes*
4985205
I will say… maybe.
I'm kind of only writing if something inspires me these days. Trying to force writing is hard.
Plus, shouldn't you be writing more of Mother, rather than reading? Hrmmmmm?
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?
4985210
Also am working on the next chap of Gods ^^
Who me? Reading what reading? I have no idea what you're talking about!
4985222
Ahhh, that one is on my "to read" list. Sigh, babies take up too much time!
She also learned tantrum this week. It's super effective.
4985227
Baby has used Tantrum
It is Super Effective.
Anonymoose has Fainted
It feels short on some ends, a lot of lose opening s in the plot and it really lacked emotions. The concept is sound but this needs work.
I liked it. Too short but very good.
So many balls put into the air all at once, Cadence, Shining, Chrysalis, and not least of all Twilight.
Petrified, yeah, that makes sense, I was imagining she was in Tartarus and the statue was her cell door.
I do want to see more in this verse now.
4985328
She was originally going to be in Tartarus, but then I liked the idea of Celestia leaving her in the garden where others could still visit her.
As I said to Foals, I might look at exploring some more of this verse, specifically the Twilight and Rainbow Dash angle. Right now, it is only a very vague idea of what had happened. Kind of "eh, necromancy of some sort" is about it right now. There was going to be mention of the crater that was once Ponyville, but I cut that part. That'd probably garner her more than a thousand years in stone.
4985333
It's evocative storytelling. It teases a larger story, but leaves the details for each reader to determine for themselves. It is the type of thing that does a great job of implying a larger world.
Well, that was a bit disappointing (not the story, Cadence's choice)
I feel like there's some stuff missing, though, that got carved off from certain key points. I feel like what should've been an emotional gut punch got softened in transit.
Still, I rather liked it.
4985343
Yeah, there are few readers that like that though. It's often a complaint against a lot of my stories that I leave things like this unexplored, or open ended.
Oh well.
Twilight's crime? Not reading Rainbownomicon.
millennium. Millennia is plural.
thick, its
4985924
Thanks for those, fixed now. This is pre-edited because my normal editor is out sick.
Also, I loved the rainbownomicon. I actually remembered that story as I wrote that bit. Hah!
the thing with Twilight pisses me off more than anything else
Frankly, I think Twilight could take Celestia
an interesting idea but the ending was kinda.....I mean Come on Cadence getting Chrysalis to pretend to be shining, I dont believe that for a second.
An interesting idea but as a story it kinda falls flat. Was still fun to read though.
Good story but... that ending was kind of creepy. Still good.
end " marks.
_____________
delete
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A few plot holes. And a few thoughts.
1) What happened with Twilight, and Rainbow Dash? Is there a fic that you have that goes into that? Was Twilight an Alicorn when it happened? What was the trial like, and what happened to the resurrected Rainbow Dash? Since you can't really kill the dead XD.
2) How can Twilight talk if she's in stone?
3) How does Cadance know where the Changelings were? And why does she make that offer when it's doomed for failure? Her subjects either will think he's a zombie and go into a violent frenzy to purge the evil; Freak out, and run away; or find out that it's a Changeling disguised as Shinging Armor. And with Celestia, Luna, probably all of Equestria and the Crystal Empire's citizens knowing how SA was brainwashed and how the Changelings how creepy mind control powers. That mingling of bodies would never work. Since they'd all suspect that Cadance was under a Changeling's thrall. Or see it as a perverse mockery that will destroy Cadance's standing and trust in the community.
thoughts:
The ending ... was weird, creepy, and felt off. And in #3 I stated why that ending would have consequences that'd end up damaging Cadance in the very near future. All in all, the first part of the fic, was good. The ending was ... well ... it was an ending. But not as good of an ending as it could've been. Still good enough to get an upvote though.
Well, that ending was unexpected. Personally, I liked it.
And I have to echo Stormy Skies, Foals Errand; please try and explore the pieces of the world presented here more.
4987151
Based on what was said, do you think she would have wanted to? Self-flagellation does strike me as inline with Twilight's character.
4988760 I can see being petrified as the sort of punishment that could break most anyone's will so it's hard to say if she'd have believed that before the petrification
4985333
I see. I guess you don't think very highly of Celestia to think she's torture Twilight and Twilight's friends like that.
4988845 4987151
I would like to point out…
There is a key word in there that a lot of people seem to misread as 'Celestia's'.
We don't know Celestia's reasoning for visiting Twilight but remaining silent. Let's remember that Twilight does, in the show, believe Celestia to be harsh enough to banish her over minor transgressions.
I think I will definitely cover what happened as a prequel to this story… or more just what events have transpired within this 'verse'.
I definitely have a few ideas for it, but it will depend on time whether I can get it done.
4988760 is very much right, in that it was Twilight's decision, and self-flagellation is kind of inline with her character.
4988429
Fixed those issues. The millenium thing was because I made the change TheLastBrunnenG suggested on my tablet, rather than my PC. Oops.
On to your points:
1) Yes she was an alicorn, and I am considering looking into expanding that part of the story.
2) "Being turned to stone doesn't keep me from hearing every word Celestia says." - Discord, Return of Harmony
I took a few extra liberties with the idea.
3) Cadance was not returning to the Empire. One of the reasons I had Luna take over as Empress-Regent in lieu of Cadance's extended sabbatical. Cadance just took it a little further.
As for how she knew where the changelings were. Because plot. Lol, that's how.
On the ending: I was aiming for the ending to be creepy. I will admit, I am not 100% satisfied with the ending. I always intended on having Cadance go to Chrysalis because she could give her the lie (i.e. help Cadance lie to herself) rather than mourn and move on.
4988933
yeah, I don't buy it. Celestia's the only one who could pull that off, whether you say Equestria or not
4988933
On the point of number 3. I don't think Tia and Luna would let Cadance do that. I mean yes, she would [and did], but she has friends and loved ones who care for her. And would go in horns charged, to drag her, kicking and screaming out of there. Especially since Luna also has a nation to run, and her citizen's would eventually [soonish] want their Cadance back.
And yes the ending had a small amount of creepiness to it. And I do get why she'd go that route. But I don't see it lasting longer than a few days before Celestia [who's already gone through the pain of loosing her sister for a 1,000 yrs. Her student/confidant/friend/what ever else Twilight was to her, for a 1,000 yrs a few scant years after her sister's return.] comes to get her. Since I don't think Celestia could handle any more loss to immortal family/near family. Than she's already had to suffer through.
And it kind of fell short. Don't get me wrong the first 3/4ths of the fic were good and feels-stabbing. But the end, I'd. Although I'm glad this verse will be getting some expansion. A prequel will be nice, but something to make the ending something more complete. And see how Cadance reacts to her lie being ripped from her hooves. That'd be fulfilling. Sad and heartbreaking, but fulfilling. Especially if we see her friends (even Twilight who's in stone) help her.
Do I want to know what came about from Twilight attempting to bring back the dead?
In the sequel, Celestia finds out and entombs Cadance right next to Twilight. Discord comes to visit ever so often, letting it be well known that Celestia has no real feelings and must just pretend to feel emotion. Their relationship didn't last long.
I think this should have an alternate universe tag.
This is great!
I haven't seen a concept so brilliant in a while.
Moar.
I am incredibly interested in how you continue this (I caught one of your comments). Will it be a sequel? A prequel? Both? Something from Twilight's "eyes" (which is technically what I just questioned)? This is one of few that makes me want more :o
4992854
As it is set five years after the current show, there is nothing "alternate" about it, nor does it assume any of the events of the episodes didn't happen. So not really sure how it would be appropriate to be labelled Alternate Universe.
4993281
It would be a… well, I am not sure prequel would be the appropriate term, as the story wouldn't necessarily lead to this one (i.e. wouldn't really have anything to do with Cadance's story) but it would be in the same 'verse', covering the events that led to Twilight's incarceration/petrification.
So I guess, maybe you could call that a prequel?
4993418 Yea, something written before the start of the story in question that leads up to in some fashion, even if there is a block of time missing, so it would fit at least a loose definition of a prequel :3
Excited either way! Like I said, this was super interesting!
This one is actually pretty good
I loved the dark ending .. too short, but awesome!
*sniff*
Damn dude
Might I ask what happend to Twilight (Please don't think I'm stupid)
Dat ending. Good job, not much else to say I guess
4993406 A few things that'd make it alternate universe, Rainbow Dash dying (wouldn't happen in the show, ever) Twilight trying to bring her back to life (nope, not ever) Cadence and Twilight being immortal (don't know why everyone thinks this is a thing, it isn't the show staff has said so, Celestia and Luna were born Alicorns, Twilight and Cadence became Alicorns the two are very different things.)
That was dark
, but in a sense which i like
Dear Christ, this was amazing. For such a short word count, you grabbed us by the short and curlies and never let go. Outstanding job, friend!
5001149
I think you misunderstand what the Alt-Universe tag is for. The alternate universe is for things that directly contradict the show, such as: Discord or Nightmare Moon having won their respective tussles. Or Chrysalis managed to take over Canterlot. Or Sombra was reformed, rather than destroyed, and is in a romantic relationship with Pinkie Pie.
Something that deviates from the shows canon.
Why this story does not classify as alt-universe is because I don't directly contradict the events of the show. The events of this story are five years after "A Canterlot Wedding", and even still past the Tirek encounter. What happened with Rainbow Dash (hinted at) and what Twilight did (also, only hinted at) happened at least two years after the events of the show.
Now, your criticisms might be considered valid, but rather than being 'alt universe' they might be considered OOC (or out of character), but then that is the rub of fan fiction, we take a few liberties with characters.
Now, why I think it might be plausible that in a darker version of Equestria, where characters can die (you're right, they will never show that in the show, but that is what fanfic is for… exploring things that will never be explored in the show), it is possible that, if Twilight felt responsible for Dash's death, she might turn to magic to solve said problem. Why? Because she seems to turn to magic to solve her problems quite often in the show (usually disastrously, so much it has become a trope), and doesn't seem to learn from her previous mistakes.
And as far as the immortal thing with the alicorns, once again, that is something that won't be covered in the show. The answer we got was that "Twilight will not outlive her friends", from Meghann McCarthy, if I recall correctly. Which could mean a few things:
1) Twilight is going to die before all of her friends. Really, not one of them? The show is going to end with Season 8, Twilight takes a laser beam to the chest to save her friends…
2) All her friends become immortal alicorns too. It could happen.
3) The show isn't going to deal with death (they have barely elluded to AJ's parents, and even that is only what the writers have said outside the show) so they're never going to do an episode where Twilight or Cadance go through the angst of immortal ennui because it's a show for children.
Once again, it is up to fanfic to explore all those different possibilities. There are fics that have Twilight and Cadance as mortals (because they aren't 'real' alicorns like Celestia and Luna) and there are fics where, like this one, they are immortal.
It's a personal preference, for each writer, as to what they prefer. As the issue hasn't been covered on the show yet, we can speculate the possibilities without tagging a story alternate universe. If we couldn't, then there isn't a single fic on this site that would not have to be tagged Alt universe, because all of them deviate from the show or the writers intention, whether intentional or not.
5003632 I didn't mean to come off harsh, it's just a pet peeve of mine when I see "Twilight is an Alicorn, therefore she must be immortal" but to each their own I guess. ~<3
Well dang. This was great! Looks like The Last Roundup knows their stuff. I will definitely be going to them for recommendations again.
5003785
I was wondering where the heck all these new readers were coming from!
5003795
The Last Roundup
I also found a bunch of your stories are in my Read Later list. I'll be reading those now.
That was sick and twisted.
Great Job!
Woah
Goodness... This is going to stay with me awhile. Great story.
And is that a question mark combined with a exclamation I see‽
I'm going to have to use that sometime.