• Member Since 9th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 10th, 2016

Enigma Machine


The newly coronated Princess Twilight Sparkle discovers that the only reason she became royality was so that Princess Celestia could do merchandise of her.

But at least the action figures got a karate-action button.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 38 )

I thought it was funny, seemed like it was building to something a little more but it was a nice spoof.

Twilight shall forever more now be the Princess of Action Figures! :twilightoops:

Hreatest thing to EVER grace history of the internet ever.

Bottom line.

... Ever.

All Hail Princess Twilight! Royal Commander over All Action Figures!!!
. . . I think it's got a nice ring to it.

Karate chop action is cool, but does she come in glow in the dark?

Celestia: Princess Twilight Sparkle the Flamethrower! In stores now!
Twilight: What?
Meanwhile Ponyville is engulfed in flames...

I guess even Celestia can't resist the temptations of merchandising.

This is going to be added to the dismal abyss of my 'read later' list, but hopefully I'll get to it soon. One other thing, just so you can know in the future, 'coronated' is not a word. The correct word would be 'crowned'.

love the Gleeman Vox reference.


'coronated' is not a word. The correct word would be 'crowned'.

Webster seems to think that it is.



Well it must be an American-only word, because I was always taught in school that it was not.


yeah those fucking americans how dare they do things differently blarblarblarblarblar

A karate-chop Twilight action figure would sell out in seconds :trollestia:

This got a giggle out of me, nice li'l short parody of the toy-etic nature of the show.

Hmm, in amongst all those products was deodorant, cologne and breath mints. Is Celestia trying to say Twilight has a hygiene issue? I must say though, Princess Twilight Sparkle Energy Drink makes sense, for those all night study sessions!:twilightsmile:

4717462 I won't deny that. We love doing things different just to throw everybody else off. :rainbowwild:

For some reason i heard Celestia final phrases in my head in what one can call used car dealer voice, so fast it barely make sense....

Damn you Trollestia, DAMN YOU!

4717462 Yeah, well you knob instead of dick


Well, people seem to be confused, I wasn't angry, nor was I saying 'america is dumb, blablahblah *insert american stereotype here*' I was just denoting my own confusion towards the use of the word 'coronated'. I just find it odd that a country who doesn't have royalty has their own word for something entirely royalty-specific.

And just so you know, I'm Canadian, not English.:rainbowwild:

But does it blend?.... :unsuresweetie:

“The star of the show. Think of it! We’ll make billions of bits!” Celestia said. “We’ll sell more and better Princess Twilight Sparkle action figures, Princess Twilight Sparkle sports shoes, Princess Twilight Sparkle deodorant, Princess Twilight Sparkle breakfast cereal, cormuffs and cologne! Soft drinks, hard drinks, energy drinks, breath mints! You’ll get record deals, movie rights, reality shows, board games! Aaand...” She paused to take a deep breath. “Commercials! Commercials, commercials, commercials, commercials!”

Sounds like SOMEONE'S a Ratchet & Clank player. :rainbowlaugh:

4716784 Somehow that feels natural... :pinkiecrazy:

4716321 Dat proffle pic doe!

ahahahahaha! That was fantastic! I can't stop laughing! Update soon!

i haven't read this yet but this looks amazing :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Hmm. I was kinda expecting more from this fic. Oh well...I guess that's what crack fics are for anyway...:rainbowderp:


Princess Twilight Sparkle the Flame thrower! the kids love it.

Somehow this seems familiar...:derpytongue2:

Oh my, gosh, poor Twily! Haha, that's Hasbro for ya!

Make a Twilight, with missile launching action! Also, this story made me think of this caption. Trigger warning: NSFW humor.
Very funny, but very, very wrong

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!