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It seemed like such a noble goal to Twilight: bring herbivores and carnivores together by finally destroying the ethical cost of meat.
She would be lauded by history as the greatest agent of harmony, not that it would matter to her. All that would matter to her is that she'd finally performed an act worthy of an Equestrian princess.
All it had to do was work.
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i just....
To the herbivores of the world, I offer this message: [youtube= www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmK0bZl4ILM]
4657168 your link seems to have had a slight formatting issue.
Actually, the idea wasn't half bad. As long as the meat produced was good tasting, I wouldn't see any reason to go through all the effort of raising and then killing cattle just for a steak. I wonder if what kind of meat tree Twilight had made anyway. Beef? Chicken? Pork? Salmon?
If the tree is openly bleeding, I'd be a bit worried about food poisoning. We have skin for a reason, after all.
4657211
Oh, that's why I picked it! A meat tree is a legitimate idea! It's just potentially repulsive to the common folk, especially since it would require a pulse to keep nutrient fluid flowing swiftly enough to keep the tissues oxygenated. Even if its cold blooded, the metabolism would be too high for evapotranspiration to provide sufficient flow-through. And as xylem and phloem weren't designed to operate under compressive pressures like those in a cardiovascular system, I suspect you would have some bleeding and leaking.
I actually thought about this a bit!
Meat tree, there are worse ideas. Now for panic mode.
Ah, Pinkie has broken the forth wall! I must get Guide 2.0 and flee from this dimension!
4657307
It's not breaking the fourth wall if it's a universal truth.
They weren't expecting a meat tree! They got hambushed!
4657192
Probably better this way. No embedded video to eat bandwidth, and anyone who cares can copy the link into their browser.
If your curious, it's a song by The Arrogant Worms called 'carrot juice is murder'
4657418
Why do my stories always generate wordplay?
4657418 Oh, you wondrous, glorious asshole. You really went there. Like seriously. You're worse than Carlos from Magic School Bus.
I want a bacon tree
Pinkie gets the best line.
That reveal had me laughing out loud, Lines. Kudos on a hilarious comedy! I wouldn't have guessed a meat tree...
I guess her experiments with the meat-tree-dish wasn't that successful.
[youtube=I0e7V2hzqI0]
A _proper_ pork chop tree grows 'em properly cooked already.
(Physiologically impossible, you say? What part of "magic" do you not understand?)
Twilight Sparkle Loves Solving Things
I can't wait to read this!
Spike's got the right idea.
There. Right there. That's where I hit the favorite button.
I would buy this tree and have it pulsate horribly. I would play games with it.
At least I don't vomit and I would've love the lecture if everyone's stop complaining and just listen
4658634 Play...games? With it?
Wait, you're a guy, right?
Pulsate...
Eww...You don't even bother to use some blood as lube first?
I dunno, I quite like the idea of a meat tree.
Does not get.
4659687
Not THOSE kinds of games.
Yes I am a dude.
Not gay.
If I could, I'd teach it to throw balls at people I don't like.
Maybe a Bonsai Meat Tree. Yeah, that sounds good.
That was freaking amazing
i1.ytimg.com/vi/YzQay4ihJ4o/maxresdefault.jpg
4659690
The implication seems to be that the Everfree was once a normal forest that had been repeatedly used as a dumping ground for whatever abominations show up or are created. And now it has meat trees too.
The crusaders almost drowned?Vomit inside lungs?This is simply known as "aspiration". Should an infection result it will be called "aspiration pneumonia". Because of the acidity of stomach contents (vomit) it will begin to deteriorate the lung tissue. And should the vomit contain little bits of food that's even worse.Patients in these cases need to be artificially comatose and breathing through a tube in the lungs.Im a nurse and I've seen these situations.Good news is the lungs are quite a resilient organ so recovery is definately possible.
Stupid herbivores. Always thinking in terms of plants. Twilight went the wrong route with this one.
If she wanted naturally growing brainless meat, she should have just devised a way to farm clams, mussels, and oysters.
4661805
Nah, it's not just brainlessness. Eating the oyster kills the oyster, whereas harvesting the delicious sirloin fruit leaves the tree alive and otherwise healthy.
4661900
Ponies eat bread. And hay. And flowers.
They kill their food plants all the damn time. Freaking hypocrites.
4661900 What if we was to like, just cut parts out of a animal, then sew them back up and let them heal before repeating the process. Surely, the healing time would be about same as the time it takes for fruits to ripen.
4662507
They make a clear distinction between plants and animals as living beings... which, if you think about it, is actually rather foolish of them. One would think that the existence Timber Wolves implies that some plants may very well be more intelligent then others; but no, nobody seems to realize the implications.
4662862
To be fair, fruits are grown by plants specifically to be eaten, and then the seeds passed through a digestive system and deposited in a great big pile of fertilizer, so that's an improper comparison.
It works for things like tubers and mushrooms(I know, not plants), flowers, grains, grasses, etc. though. Vegetables. Actual vegetables, not fake ones like tomatoes.
4663135
Realizing that they're no better than carnivores would damage them. They wouldn't be perfectly sweet and innocent then!
*Thinks of all the jerkass ponies we've seen*
Oh wait, they never were.
When ingenious practicality, and society's sensitivities collide. I wonder what vegetarians would do if meat COULD be grown separate from animals. It would throw the vegans for a loop especially since they champion, "We eat nothing that came from an animal." The concept of such a thing has interesting implications for society
Well written author, I applaud your comedic writing and ability to display something interesting to think about.
4662862
That is possibly the most cruel method of meat farming I've ever heard of in my entire life.
4663958
Thank you! I enjoy putting thought provoking material in my stories, though sometimes, especially on the more absurd pieces, I don't get the opportunity to do so.
Yes because in my world we made a tree from steel, wires,wood and water and it makes $20 bills for the leaves
Silly herbivores.
(Well, actually... that's debatable, since it is said ponies (by Pinkie specificially) are vegetarian which is, of course, not quite the same as "herbivore." I'm still personally convinced that ponies are in fact only culturally largely vegetarian (because eggs and baking and so on) and biologically omnivorous.)
4657628
Because we think it meats our expectations?
4657248
See, this, right here?
This is what gets you special bonus points.
4662507
Not to mention all the eggs they have to eat with the amount of cupcakes and cakes they consume.
4664171
Pinkie also did mention she was part of a hotdog eating contest, I believe. If it was hay or soy, she'd have said haydog or soydog. Like the burgers Twilight ate at the fast food store were hayburgers. She specifically said hotdog.
Proud to be your hundredth like.
It's 100% vegetarian approved.
4663958 partially that is kinda why lab grown meat is so awesome. Especially if we can get the growth costs down to a acceptable level for mass production.
Meat tree..... Did you get your idea from Oskar Osaker cause that thing also have meat tree
(A meat tree that was grown by changing the tree genetic with Blacklight virus (Prototype 2))
4666645
Let's call it convergent intellectual evolution and leave it at that
The crusaders nearly drowned in a flood of puke...
Okay, Ew. But I still give this a 10/10
You've earned yourself a like!
That last line confuses me.
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This could have worked too.
giant.gfycat.com/ElatedHatefulBetafish.gif
4664248
Yet in "Rarity takes Manehattan" we saw that Equestrian hotdogs are basically steamed carrots on a bun.