• Member Since 2nd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen September 6th

Between Lines


A purveyor of intelligent literary commentary some of the time, and whatever I feel like the rest of the time.

E
Source

She swore she'd left the life. She'd hung up her sunglasses and her rapier wit, trading it for a modest life of attempted world domination followed by a little redemptive pennance. But it was not to be.

With Equestria fallen to a second changeling invasion, and every one of their greatest heroes felled and imprisoned, it will fall to her to raise the mic and attitude once more.

The burn-meista is back.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 35 )
Sauron #1 · Sep 4th, 2014 · · 2 ·

imprisioned

*imprisoned

*First*

This is gold.

Mad man. That's all I have to say to you.

4953860 Would you be interested in work as a proofer?

This was surprisingly amusing, considering that it's mostly just Sunset and Chrysalis insulting each other.

And is this supposed to be tagged as being incomplete? Because it feels like it's probably complete.

So . . . you got any more stories to release? :rainbowlaugh:

4954138

*clears throat, changes settings*

I have no idea what you mean. :raritywink:

4953911 I don't know if he would, but I'd take you up on that offer!

Loved the story. Hilarious :)

4953911
Perhaps... for you?
To be honest, I typically point out a few of the typos and grammar mistakes in the stories I read. But if you want me to proofread your stories thoroughly, I could.

4953911

"Ooooohhh! Went the audience.

You forgot a quotation mark there.

"Truly she art worthy of a most heroic reward."

Here you fell into the trap of trying too hard to sound Luna-y. "Art" conjugates with Thou, not She. It would be "she is".

"We can get you a new name if you like?"

I don't think you need a question mark there. Though I guess if this is one of those "saying a statement as if it were a question" things, you wouldn't be wrong.

"Everpony!" Sunset shrieked

*Everypony

And that's all. Honestly, good work. Usually authors have more mistakes than that in their work.

4955969 Thank you, fantastic catches all.

4956334
Does this mean I can be your official proofreader?

This was awesome on every level. I support Corn Dog Armor's new life choice, and I will start using the word "namist" all the time.

4956555 You're doing a bang-up job so far!

Don't know if you want to wade through "Everything you Wanted" though.

Nice story! I had a couple good laughs!

I think you might like my own story, which is also about Sunset Shimmer battling Changelings. It's called Sunset Eclipsed.

4957036
Well, since you had the unrepentant gall to hawk your own story on the page of mine...

...I'll be sure to give it a look! :scootangel:

I actually found the second half of the chapter, after the insult contest ended, significantly funnier.

If Celestia's a namist, then is it possible Shining Armor only got his position because of his name?

4966635

Yeah, I honestly agree with you. I find that I enjoy taking traditionally zany settings, then turning them into the more banal dysfunctionality.

This is an excellent piece of writing. 11/12.

I'd name my foal Automatic Success.

Me throughout most of this:

*Cough*

Hello, I'll be your psychiatrist today. My name is God Of Physics, but please call me Philosophysics.

I hear you're having a mid-life crisis, Shining Armor? I may call you that right?
(Dodges Muffin)

Princess Cadenca Mi Amore, please restrain your husband till he can converse in a civilized manner.

Now you, Principal Luna...

5351297 This is literally the clip I was thinking of when I wrote this.

5354234 Great minds think alike, it seems.

WHY DID THIS STORY GET SO POPULAR?

"I forgot how much I missed a good smack down."

"Smackdown" is one word.

For,"--she glanced around--"obvious reasons, but it turns out our new guard quartermaster was less than honest with his finances.

There should be spaces between the emboldened section and the quotation marks. Because the open-quote before "obvious" is positioned like a close-quote.

Funny. I liked it. Will Friendship is Witchcraft ever die?

To paraphrase the Wu Tang Clan: "Sunset Shimmer ain't nothing to f:yay: with."

As Winston Churchill said, "KBO.":twilightsmile:

5360940 Fixed, thanks for the catches, and the enjoyment!

This was way too fun. Great work.

"We can't afford a banquet."
"I really, really want a transfer," Luna muttered.

Name profiling. Sunset inviting them all back to have lunch at school instead of having a feast in her honor is priceless.

I can't say I loved all the burns, nor the repetitive nature of the ponies going "oooh" at everything, but the flow is pretty good. And the fact the story comes down to Sunset actually serving as a distraction. Fun stuff ^__^

I loved it. Well done :)

Sunset's good, but she's no supa hot fire.

Someone send Shining to a psychiatrist, please

"Celestia!" Twilight gasped. "I never thought you were a namist! Shame on you!"

"Oh give it up, Twilight!" Celestia snapped. "My name is Celestia for buck's sake! My sister is Luna! Cadance sings well! Shining Armor's a guard! Name profiling works!"

:rainbowlaugh:

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