Twilight Sparkle Solves Love

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The question of "What is True Love?" has stumped philosophers for thousands of years, but Twilight has figured it out. With math. It was easier than she thought it would be. Why isn't Rarity excited about this?

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Comments ( 24 )

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Seether00

Seether00 #1 · Feb 27th, 2014 · 1 · ·

My blood pump longs for you, and you alone!

nodamnbrakes

nodamnbrakes #2 · Feb 27th, 2014 · · ·

Lel, win

nukestar

nukestar #3 · Feb 27th, 2014 · · ·

She seemed to calculate Pinkie's friendship value to a much greater degree of accuracy than her other friends (by seven orders of magnitude at that), I wonder what that means...

YB #4 · Feb 27th, 2014 · 4 · ·

With math!

Read "With meth!"
Had to stop for a couple of minutes

That was fun! Too bad it ends so abruptly.

Biplane

Biplane #5 · Feb 27th, 2014 · 2 · ·

4011459

My blood pump longs for you, and you alone!

Baby, you must have secondary sexual characteristics that I am genetically designed to find appealing, because you make my brain release a cocktail of dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine! Hey! Where are you going?!

4011486

Lel, win

YOSSSSS...
/fistpamp

4011686

She seemed to calculate Pinkie's friendship value to a much greater degree of accuracy than her other friends (by seven orders of magnitude at that), I wonder what that means...

Hmm... indeed! What's your game, Sparkle?

4012040

Read "With meth!"
Had to stop for a couple of minutes
That was fun! Too bad it ends so abruptly.

That would have been a very, very different story, I would say!

Rinnaul

Rinnaul #6 · Feb 28th, 2014 · · ·

All of this was great, but the best parts were Rarity's imagined conversation between Twilight and AJ, and those last lines.

Seether00

Seether00 #7 · Feb 28th, 2014 · 2 · ·

4011686

Because pi is an infinite number?

nukestar

nukestar #8 · Feb 28th, 2014 · · ·

4012942
Pi is irrational not infinite. In addition I doubt that the numbers for her other friends terminate at two decimal places (in reality, numbers rarely terminate, ever)

Biplane

Biplane #9 · Mar 5th, 2014 · · ·

4012942

Because pi is an infinite number?

4014274

Pi is irrational not infinite. In addition I doubt that the numbers for her other friends terminate at two decimal places (in reality, numbers rarely terminate, ever)

You've both got the right idea of what I was going for, pretty much. Originally, I was going to make Pinkie's number pi, but there wasn't really an appropriate scale it could be put on! Scale of 1 - 10 and 1 - 5 make it look like Twilight thinks less of Pinkie than I like to think she actually does, and even on a scale of 1 - 4 (which would feel arbitrary and would make the joke heavy-handed instead of background to begin with), 3.14 just seemed a bit low. So, irrational number! Because irrational. Because Pinkie Pie.

nukestar

nukestar #10 · Mar 5th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4037871
Personally it would have made a better joke if you made Pinkie's number complex (8.4+5.6i for an arbitrary value); the way you did it, there is less error in Pinkie's value than in the others which is contradictory to the "Pinkie defies logic" joke you are trying to make

Biplane

Biplane #11 · Jun 30th, 2014 · · ·

4616464

A biconditional? That's brilliant! I may well do just that.

And you're right, I've been away for a while, but I'm back, and I'm still looking to finish Cauldron Club. Who knows, maybe I'll finish some of the other fics I've got half done, too!

ThatClosetBrony

ThatClosetBrony #12 · Jul 8th, 2014 · · ·

if ((x + ~) - #) for individual A from the perspective of individual B is ≥ individual B's values of ((x + ~) - #) for all other individuals, /\ if ((x + ~) - #) for individual B from the perspective of individual A ≥ individual A's values of ((x + ~) - #) for all other individuals /\ if individual B and individual A's ((x + ~) - #) values for each other are approximately equal → love = True

"Wherein x is equal to the value of friendship, tilde is equal to the value of physical attractiveness, and pound is equal to the value of familial relations, which is either zero (if the ponies in question are not related), or equal to the sum of x and tilde, thereby eliminating family members from consideration for romantic love despite the presence of love towards them! Isn't it great? I used the different types of love to figure out how to calculate romantic love! Actually, it wasn't a very complicated equation at all once I thought it through... strange that it's been stumping ponies for so long... ah well! Most of history's greatest discoveries seem obvious in hindsight!"

Is this actually a thing? Like, does this make sense in math or code or whatever? If so, then

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY SOLVER! HE HAS BLESSED US WITH THE TRUTH!

Also, maybe Twilight forgot about incest...

Comment posted by DrWhooves007 deleted Jul 8th, 2014

DrWhooves007

DrWhooves007 #14 · Jul 8th, 2014 · · 3 ·

Friendship (x) values (1.0 algorithm): Rainbow Dash: 9.70, Fluttershy: 9.65, Applejack: 9.58, Pinkie Pie: 9.571633612?!, Rarity: 9.4.

Me: 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807426542527862551818417574672890977772793800081647060016145249192173217214772350141441973568548161361157352552133475741849468438523323907394143334547762416862518983569485562099219222184272550254256887671790494601653466804988627232791786085784383827967976681454100953883786360950680064225125205117392984896084128488626945604241965285022210661186306744278622039194945047123713786960956364371917287467764657573962413890865832645995813390478027590099465764078951269468398352595709825822620522489407726719478268482601476990902640136394437455305068203496252451749399651431429809190659250937221696461515709858387410597885959772975498930161753928468138268683868942774155991855925245953959431049972524680845987273644695848653836736222626099124608051243884390451244136549762780797715691435997700129616089441694868555848406353422072225828488648158456028506016842739452267467678895252138522549954666727823986456596116354886230577456498035593634568174324112515076069479451096596094025228879710893145669136867228748940560101503308617928680920874760917824938589009714909675985261365549781893129784821682998948722658804857564014270477555132379641451523746234364542858444795265867821051141354735739523113427166102135969536231442952484937187110145765403590279934403742007310578539062198387447808478489683321445713868751943506430218453191048481005370614680674919278191197939952061419663428754440643745123718192179998391015919561814675142691239748940907186494231961567945208095146550225231603881930142093762137855956638937787083039069792077346722182562599661501421503068038447734549202605414665925201497442850732518666002132434088190710486331734649651453905796268561005508106658796998163574736384052571459102897064140110971206280439039759515677157700420337869936007230558763176359421873125147120532928191826186125867321579198414848829164470609575270695722091756711672291098169091528017350671274858322287183520935396572512108357915136988209144421006751033467110314126711136990865851639831501970165151168517143765761835155650884909989859982387345528331635507647918535893226185489632132933089857064204675259070915481416549859461637180270981994309924488957571282890592323326097299712084433573265489382391193259746366730583604142813883032038249037589852437441702913276561809377344403070746921120191302033038019762110110044929321516084244485963766983895228684783123552658213144957685726243344189303968642624341077322697802807318915441101044682325271620105265227211166039666557309254711055785376346682065310989652691862056476931257058635662018558100729360659876486117910453348850346113657686753249441668039626579787718556084552965412665408530614344431858676975145661406800700237877659134401712749470420562230538994561314071127000407854733269939081454664645880797270826683063432858785698305235808933065757406795457163775254202114955761581400250126228594130216471550979259230990796547376125517656751357517829666454779174501129961489030463994713296210734043751895735961458901938971311179042978285647503203198691514028708085990480109412147221317947647772622414254854540332157185306142288137585043063321751829798662237172159160771669254748738986654949450114654062843366393790039769265672146385306736096571209180763832716641627488880078692560290228472104031721186082041900042296617119637792133757511495950156604963186294726547364252308177036751590673502350728354056704038674351362222477158915049530984448933309634087807693259939780541934144737744184263129860809988868741326047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Biplane

Biplane #15 · Jul 9th, 2014 · · ·

4659715

Is this actually a thing? Like, does this make sense in math or code or whatever? If so, then
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY SOLVER! HE HAS BLESSED US WITH THE TRUTH!

It makes sense as a simple logical if/then expression, but Twilight has vastly overestimated her accomplishment here, trust me! Although... those algorithms I didn't bother to expand upon... those would no doubt be preeetty interesting from a mathematical standpoint...

Also, maybe Twilight forgot about incest...

Also, maybe Twilight forgot about a lot of things...

4621547

Well, equivalences are the bread and butter of any definition disguised as a theorem, right?

Shhhhhhh... they might still think I'm clever!

Silver Starlight

Silver Starlight #16 · Jul 10th, 2014 · · ·

Rarity allowed herself a mental image of that scenario:
"Blahblahblah math words blah!" Twilight said, cheerfully gesturing here and there on her board with a piece of chalk.
Applejack stared, tilting her head slowly to one side. She stared. And stared.
"Blah?" Twilight asked, turning to Applejack expectantly.
"Uhh... Apples! Apples apples?" Applejack replied, smiling confusedly.
Twilight stared back. And stared. Finally, she shook her head sadly. She tapped her hoof on the equation for emphasis. "Blah!"
Applejack tilted her head once more, eyes narrowed in concentration. "...Apples?"

I completely lost it.

jszellmer

jszellmer #17 · Jul 24th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4673100 That actually reminded me of the Pinky and the Brain episode "Pinky POV."

Also: fun activity: read a romance novel and replace all instances of the word "heart" with "blood pump."

Great; now I'm going to have to do that.

Baby, you must have secondary sexual characteristics that I am genetically designed to find appealing, because you make my brain release a cocktail of dopamine, norepinephrine and phenyl ethylamine! Hey! Where are you going?!

I'm going to have to remember this. As I'm not particularly interested in a relationship, this sounds like a great way to ensure that women are as disinterested in me as possible.

Biplane

Biplane #18 · Jul 24th, 2014 · · ·

4742676

Great; now I'm going to have to do that.

"You were the moon of my existence; your moods dictated the tides of my blood pump."

“It was scary to think of happily ever after. It was scary to think about trusting someone enough to give him your blood pump now, hoping he wouldn't break it later.”

“Then his lips caress mine. It’s only a brush, but the warmth overheats every part of me. Leaning back, my elbow bumps into the power button on the dryer and the old appliance starts moving. Spinning. Spinning like my head. Like my blood pump.”

I'm going to have to remember this. As I'm not particularly interested in a relationship, this sounds like a great way to ensure that women are as disinterested in me as possible.

"Baby, come back! I haven't even told you how my gametes are a perfect complement for yours (at least based upon phenotypic expression), and would produce offspring with high survival likelihood!"