• Member Since 27th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 17 minutes ago

Isseus


Cutie Mark Crusaders Forever!!! Money is tight, so taking commissions and begging for donations!

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What does it mean to be the most powerful unicorn in Ponyville, maybe even in the whole of Equestria? When you can fix everything with magic, what do you do when everypony expects you to do just that? Are there limits to what Twilight´s magic can do, and what lies beyond those limits?

Cover art by Izeer: http://izeer.deviantart.com/

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 221 )

My second story on FIMFiction. As always any and all criticism is welcome. Especially if I mess up with grammar, I´m not native English.

About the image. Used without permission because I don´t know who the artist is. If anyone can help me contact him/her I´d be much obliged. That Image was what originally inspired this fic so I hope to thank the artist soon. :twilightsmile:

Also the first chapter was originally named "Surgical Precision" but anyone who gets the reference will know why I changed the name.

color me interested, will read, Now!

found a tiny error. ""at your very own doorsteå?" pretty sure it was supposed to be Doorstep.
other then that, i like it, necromancy is always fun :3
so.
i'll track this :D

Welp, you fooled me. Nice job. :yay:

Here's a piece of advice though; instead of using dash-marks to separate scenes, type [ hr ] without the spaces there and you'll get a much more neat looking line. Also, you spelled 'keys' wrong in the first paragraph of your second scene. Overall though, very lovely work. :pinkiehappy:

This could end badly. Let's see where this goes.

>>Equestrialize Fix´d

>>GingerNutGin And fix´d. Thanks.

i got only one thing to say to you! MOAR!!!!:pinkiecrazy:

Hearing her que Rarity perked up in her chair.
*Cue

That's all I could find. That, and the use of the word "Marefriend" had my mind going other places :derpytongue2:

But overall, it's a great start, and I'll definitely be tracking to see what happens.

this interests me...not sure if want :applejackunsure:

The description of the story is attention grabbing and it's what made me start reading this story. I really like the way you use your adjectives/adverbs; it's really creative and sometimes has a comedic effect :rainbowlaugh:.I'm really exited for the next story update. :yay:

Good job sir. Have some Spike-staches. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Oh dear. The words of the Mad Arabian in Twilight's hooves? No good can come of this.

Still, as my own tales attest, I do love a good Sparkle-corrupting story, and this one looks very good indeed. Looking forward to more!

700084 Thank you so much. I contacted him to ask for permission to use the image. I´ll leave it up for the moment (cos it´s awesome) but will of course remove it if he wants me to.

edit: He said yes. Yay.

This is relevant to my interests....

Oh, btw, you wanted some criticism? It was well written with some few weird sentence structures, but it is manageable. The plot seems interesting and this will be interesting to follow. There was one thing that felt confusing: It felt like Rarity only had a 5 minutes get-together with Twilight and then needed to go. If Rarity didn't have time to chat more than five minutes, why would she want to go to Twilight in the first place? In short terms = you could perhaps be more clear with the time, that is what I felt.


But as you can see, it was only a minor thing. I shall wait with patience for the next chapter...

700224 Good point with the time. In my head it took a while to brew the coffee and "save face" for twilight as it were. This was also with Twily already missing their date some time ago at the café. Still making it even more clear can´t hurt.

I hope your wait won´t be too long. :twilightblush:

I just read it. I have to say I really liked it! I'm waiting for the rest of the story. :rainbowkiss:

Wow, all those description! It's very impressive. English isn't my first language either, and I can tell you did an excellent job with this. Not once in this chapter I lost interest or got bored. I would say the pace is a tiny bit too fast for my taste, but I'm okay with it. I don't feel like it's rushed either.

I'll be waiting for the next chapter :)

I couldn´t sleep and thought I´d make the most of my time and wrote a second chapter. It might feel a bit rushed but that is exactly what it should feel like for the reader. :ajsmug:

Or I might just be making excuses for bad writing.:scootangel:

2 chapters in one day?`The fun has been doubled!

This is a very impressive story so far! The use of vocabulary is very refreshing. There were some minor spelling and grammar mistakes (But who gives a buck about those?) and at times I was a tad confused, but overall, the chapter was superb!
Bottom line?
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu6r28Cx4M1qczvpto1_500.png

"Can I help?"
:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: I'm going to enjoy this

Welp, Twilight's gone off her rocker again. And this time, there's no family-friendly content rating to save everyone :pinkiecrazy:

701603 I hope they´re minor too but still if you happen to pick some up it´d help me to improve my writing. So be as cruel as you can. :p

Oh boy. Over-caffeinated Twilight is a disaster waiting to happen, and I think this might be the trigger.
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5118_small.jpg

so awesome, twi-mental-meltdown rocks!:pinkiehappy:

im kinda confused as to where this is headed, but in a way; that is very very good! :pinkiehappy:

706913
One word: Downhill. :twilightoops:

706936
well, yes, i kind of guessed that myself, it's more a question of the details.:twilightsheepish: (don't tell me anything! it's kind of rare for me not to be able to guess what's going to happen)

706967

I´ll take that as a compliment. Maybe you´ll see tomorrow...

Seriously though I never thought I´d have this much free time on my hands. 2 days and 10k+ words. Interresting to see how long I can keep this pace up. See which breaks up first, me or Twi? :twilightsheepish:

And now I start earning that "Dark" tag. It´s not for gore mind you.:twilightsmile:

Also I just noticed my first ever downvote. I know that I can´t satisfy everyone but I would hope for people to comment on why they felt they needed to downvote. I´m always open for discussion about my writing and hope to get better at it, so anonymous downvotes are kinda...a bummer.

715881
Im liking where this is going. Keep up the good work

just want to say something. when i read something good, my mind starts to match up, or synchronize, with the main character's feelings a bit. i know that sounds weird but it happens. and right now my mind is going haywire in here!:pinkiecrazy:

anyone who can make my mind do that is an awesome writer in my book.:pinkiehappy:
awesome story!:rainbowdetermined2:

716143 Thanks for such nice encouragement.

Actually we share something there. I can´t write a dialogue if I can´t hear and feel the characters in my head saying and doing the things. That´s why I often have to scrap long dialogues so I can find the right feeling for them. Does that even make sense?

I CAN´T WRITE WITHOUT HEARING VOICES IN MY HEAD! :pinkiecrazy:

Oooohhhhh drama, *grabs popcorn*
This is gonna be good!

As I already mentioned at my homepage, I´m really worried that I´ll get no more writing done before Monday.

GW2 beta opens up in 50 minutes. I´m so screwed.:twilightoops:

716163
it makes complete and perfect sense!
also: yay, i'm not alone in the way my mind works:pinkiehappy:, i thought i was the only one:pinkiesad2:...but now i'm happier then ever!
...um...oh buck, i can't find an emote happy enough to describe this...oh well, you get it...right?

yay:pinkiehappy: a new chapter!
also, i understand how annoyi-er i mean difficult it is to constantly put rhymes in stories and i must say good job.

also, first for chapter 5!

I saw your story in the feature box earlier today and thought I'd give it a try. You managed to capture my interest in the first chapter so I'll continue reading the story later. Just a couple things I noticed while reading the chapter:

It´s not a person! (probably should be pony or something besides person)

It wasn´t that he didn´t like Spike. (this was referring to Rarity, so it should be "she didn't like Spike")

I ended up continuing reading despite it being late. Crazy Twilight is awesome Twilight. :twilightsmile:A couple more things I noticed while reading this chapter:

During the beginning of the story, you want to capitalize "Miss Sparkle" (I saw a couple instances where it was miss Sparkle)

Looking at her wrist, of course devoid of a watch. (minor, but horse's technically don't have wrists)

718968 Hey thanks a lot for these. I didn´t catch any of those. Fixed the things with Rarity turning into a stallion and missing capital Ms.

About the two others...They´re a bit more complicated. First off is the person thing...This was meant to be a part of Twilight´s adorkableness and by that point we can´t be sure if she´s dissecting a book or for example a griffon, so I think I have to keep it that way. Changing it into pony would be a bit too specific I feel. Stylistic choice if anything.

And the clock on the wrist thing was taken directly from "Party Of One" from season one, where RD actually draws a watch on her wrist to show she´s late. Seeing as these ponies are rather more anthropomorhpic than usual I decided to go with "wrist". Also writing hoof this hoof that is getting really boresome. Maybe I need to do some more research into pony anatomy.

NOT LIKE THAT YOU SICKO! :twilightblush:

717809

Well the rhymes start coming and they don´t stop coming
fed up with the prose i just started typing

Didn´t make sense not to write for fun
The rhymes sound OK but I feel kinda dumb

Don´t. Even. Ask. :twilightblush:

Oh and the first poem is in swahili. My apologies to anyone from...erm...Swahili...a? for the awful grammar.

This chapter is confusing. Sorry about that but the answers will come to what really happened to Twi after the pill. And so many other answers. Answers to questions she hasn´t even asked yet. Or anwers she never really wanted to know.

Oooooooh. Foreshadowing. :twilightsmile:

727152
What are the strands? Are they some sort of power system for magic use?

CDR

727233
Best guess, magical ley-lines. And judging from the after effects of the "smallest possible pathway", Twilight just connected with a big, fat, juicy, main line. Deteriation of reality imminent.

CELESTIA GET YOUR FLANK OVER HERE AND SAVE US FROM YOUR OVER-WORKING PROTEGE!!!

729184 Ping Pong! You just won a cookie. Grats!

CDR

729918
Thank you. Thank you.
I eagerly await the description of the smoldering crater that was the (guessing on the name here) Ponyville Hydro-Electric Dam.

I promise to you that the level of carnage and mayhem will surprise EVEN YOU!

It´s the dam from "Mysterious Mare-Do-Well" btw.

Or was. MWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAAA:pinkiecrazy:

Will probably updade again in an hour or so.

edit: yeah right hour my ass. took a nap. now back to writing.

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