Cadance asks Luna what Flurry Heart dreams about.
Luna tells Cadance what she wants to hear.
Gold medalist in the December 2018 Write-Off, for the prompt "And at the End, You Shall Remain Alone"
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 4th Aug, 2011
- offline last seen 15 hours ago
Posh
How could you do this? And on Jueves?!
Posh
Joined 4th Aug, 2011 ·
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This is a really well crafted story, each paragraph smoothly moving onto the next. Right through to the twisted spires of Equestria's End, Flurry sitting on the bones of yet-to-come.
...Damn.
That's really all I can say.
I knew it! Furry is pony Antichrist!
Proof that overpowered baby characters herald the death of any cartoon universe.
A wonderfully disturbing kiloword that also packs in some fantastic Luna characterization. The little details like Cadence being "my sister's niece" really shine through. Thank you for a lot of story in a little package.
Ok, someone's been watching too much DWK.
*looks at nephew smashing ice cubes with a 2x4*
Flurry will be fine.
Flurry Heart: What, still here? , give me that thing your Dark Soul...for my ladies painting.
Luna:...my what?
You chose a damned fine DaS DLC to rip, for the record. I can dig Flurry as the Usurper of (the) Flame (of friendship?).
9391010
Its use here is literal.
I do not see how this would cause offense.
--Spade
9391010
This isn't quite as good as that random comment I got about fan girl rainbow dash being an offensive stereotype, but it's still pretty memorable.
9390026
Someone finally commented on that!!!
The question Luna should be asking is: Is this a nightmare to Flurry? Because if it's not, the implications are... unsettling to say the least.
Really enjoyed the story. The prose has a simple eloquence to it: there's no long flowery descriptions because the story doesn't need it. It uses nothing more or less than the exact amount of words needed to make its statement in an impactful way; something all fiction should strive for.
Very short, but no longer than it should be. Definitely has some Lovecraft overtones. Thumbs up!
9391010
Overly sensitive much? Or are you just trying to pick a fight? Words have meanings that have nothing to do with gay people, and if they are used correctly and in context are only offensive if you choose to go out of your way to take them like that.
9391010
It’s been a vaguely offensive term since the 1980’s that was later reclaimed by the people it was aimed against. Throughout that time it has survived in its original meaning, it’s even used in what is arguably the best known Robert Frost poem. Unless you were personally offended by its usage I don’t think it’s something to be concerned over.
9391791
9391874
For the record, I've always headcanoned Luna as freely using archaic or uncommon words, language whose meaning has changed over time.
She probably describes herself as "gay" when she's in a good mood, failing to understand why the ponies around her snicker.
9392290
Most likely, She does laps into Shakespeare's English at times, it sounds like she still has some catching up to do. A thousand years in the moon is a long time, and many people feel that while 8 seasons have rolled past for the fandom in the pony realm it's been closer to three years (though I haven't been able to confirm that to be canon yet), so yeah, I'd expect some amusing choices of words. Also, does any pony quite have the courage to take her aside and go "Princess, you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."?
9391874
While I definitely disagree about the context in this story, and as someone in the community, I could only roll my eyes at this. Using it in the story's context means nothing related to being LGBT+ and there is no problem with the author using it in this sense. But I did want to mention while it is reclaimed, not everyone in the community is comfortable with using it, just like the n-word. It's the same sense: some people identify as queer, but you shouldn't label someone else as queer unless they specifically want to be (especially if you're not LGBT+ yourself.)
Just wanted to clear that up. Again, in the context of the story? Queerly being used is fine. It's an old world and using it in the sense it did shouldn't be a big issue as the context is dramatically different.
Other than that, I found this story to be a nice little dark story. A bit short (standing at the minimum word length, in fact, which is rater amusing to me) and I wish that more was done with it, but I also appreciate it being open-ended and making us wonder about the little filly that causes chaos wherever she goes! I do wonder what would happen if Luna talked to anyone else about what Flurry has seen. Well-written too.
9392391
Oh of course. I merely mentioned that to point out how muddy the waters are surrounding that term.
Flurry is destined to destroy.
9391370
I only said this because many others have said negative things when I used the word myself, and I didnt want such a good story to get dislikes for something a simple as what could be considered by some a slur.
This story is really good. Like, it kind of made me jealous, because I want to be able to write like this. It reminded me of Harlan Ellison with the excellently crafted surreal imagery. Was it pared down some to be exactly 1,000 words as some kind of constraint or requirement?
Anyway, I tried to write surreal dream stuff and it turned out... okayish, I guess. Nowhere near this good. So yeah, I really can't say enough positive things about this story.
...whoa.
That… took a sudden and steep dark turn.
Flurry Heart is Eldritch Abomination confirmed?
P.S. Love the way you wrote the first person perspective.
Oh, the Ringed City? I've only reached the Drag Heap.
9393089 Actually, it's the opposite. The original version of this story was about seven hundred words in length; it was written for the Writeoff Association, which has a word limit of 750 for short fiction. In order to get it submitted to FiMfiction, which has a minimum length of 1k, I had to expand it by about three hundred words.
So, some of the descriptions and paragraphs are a bit fluffier than they were previously.
Flurry Heart: They were so happy an alicorn was born, they had little thought as to the future such an omen might portend.
I mean, this is the infant that nearly managed to obliterate the entire Empire just by getting cranky. Armageddomare, she may well become.
Small typo
between you and me
I didn't authorise this.
9395105
Yet you added it to the list of stories that are partially your fault. You've already claimed responsibility. Confess your sins.
9395114
I never said it wasn't my fault. I said I didn't authorise this. You are not permitted to post your stories without me signing off on them first. It prevents me from inserting Doctor Whooves and questionable lines about Twilight and her brother.
9395118 I couldn't find a good place to squeeze in the incest.
The red hood has come to eat us, it has come to eat our dark souls!
9395149
Hence why you need me.
never question that demon child they call Flurry Heart
Brrrr. The teeth, man.
THE TEETH
I enjoyed ^^
9946062 A reading! :D Did you participate, or are you just posting it here?
9946682
Posting cause he be too shy/hope one day favor be returned if I’m in the dark by karma
Well that was fascinatingly dark. Premonition? A very strange filly? Poor Luna, who takes care of her nightmares?
I like that this is just a little one-shot, leaving it open and strange.
Intriguing. While thankfully, at least to our knowledge, this has not become cannon, it does raise so many questions.
Oh I see. Uh. Well well written
Damn. I love Luna's voice in this. Although I know it's just a prompt, I find that it feels... strangely complete, unlike a lot of prompts that I've read. Like, I love the open-endedness in this. Is Flurry really seeing the end? Is it really a nightmare for her... or a good dream? Or is she not having premonitions at all? Not having the answer somehow makes it better. Great work.
10538908 nah, Flurry just really loves Dark Souls 3.
(thank you, pleasant gay individual
)
See, she is the alicorn of the End Times! (Hallowed be the Dark One's name!)
This makes me think of stories where a dream reader reads the dream of someone else who can also dream of the future and sees that the dreamer is destined to destroy the world and then the dream readers try to manipulate them into not fulfilling their destiny of destroying the world as was prophesied and only succeeding in marking the dreamers that can see the future spiteful and set on destroying the world. Then what stops them is they meet someone who’s genuinely kind to them and knows they’re supposed to destroy the world but treats them fairly, not to manipulate them but out of actual benevolence and ends up having that person change and not destroy the world in the end because of it.
This is nice