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Fleur was never one of the so-called "popular girls". She had glasses with big thick frames and braces she would kill to get taken off. She didn't consider herself beautiful or interesting in the slightest.
That is, until she met Fancy Pants, who showed her just how beautiful she could be.
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Review by Fantasia Archsage here.
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Dawwwww, so cute
You're going to make me have a heart attack if you keep coming up with cute stories.
Loved it! Kinda matches my headcanon for Fleur, only more dorky.
I wish you didn't use "boy" and "girl" so much in the beginning. Made me have to recheck the tags.
Also there was this:
You should add the "He laughed" to the next paragraph, as to make sure the reader knows it's Fleur talking and not Fancy
Also, might I suggest Nipponyese? It's a more subtle pun than the one you use.
I like. I like a lot. This is, in my opinion, much more interesting characterization than the somewhat snobby Fleur I sometimes run across. My one minor criticism is you don't really need to tell us how a character is feeling if they say that's how they're feeling shortly thereafter.
A fine read.
I rather enjoy stories with Fleur.
A recommendation; don't link songs within the text of a story. It is tantamount to admitting that you don't feel capable of establishing a mood without an external, helping force. I find it discouraging normally when an author does this, especially if the story is carrying itself up to that point (which this story was doing rather splendidly). To me it shows a lack of confidence in ones own work. The Author's Note is the place to put links to music along with your thoughts on how the song is appropriate for you, the author, as it relates to the scene. In the case of this story I was imagining something like Nocturne in E-flat major Op.9 No.2, not... well, the linked song.
That said, do what you feel best and most comfortable when writing.
And then later she became super pretty. I would've went up to any of those cliched "I'm better then you because I'm pretty" highschool bitches and been like,
IT CAN'T END THERE! IT JUST CAN'T!
You are a terrible person. Ending the story here is a crime most foul.
I . . . I want more.
Beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. That's all there is to it. Beautiful
And up thumb and a star
Anyone who knows my habits understands that I am, indeed, a massive pile of shit. I was going to use some bait to get some downvotes, but I've realised how awesome this story is. Instead of being a massive douchenozzle, I've decided to do this.
Good job.
TL;DR: Story was tits, bro.
4269014 I got a positive comment from you?!
I will never doubt my writing abilities ever again.
It was cute, yes....but this story lacks...substance. You wrote a very, very short story for one that could have been giving so much more detail. Perhaps a certain incident that had induced her crying? Certainly a longer conversation at the very least.
My basic interpretation is "unpopular girl meets popular boy and they become friends" and there's really nothing else there.
This story was cute, and made me smile.
I love Fleur x Fancy , Flancy if you will. The back story on them need to be fleshed out in general. I think this couple needs some more love. I also always thought Fleur was in Cadences circles... But that's up to the author... The most interesting was her as the Prench Ambasador in Myths ans Birthrights . I over all want wot thank your for giving these two ponies love.
I swear every single story I've ever had an idea for already exists... like seriously a Fancy Pants meets Fleur story was the most recent idea I came up with!
4274995 You and me both.
4275234
I want to make a story about Rarity killing ponies, I find 3 vastly superior ones. I want to write about Sombra making a come back, I find entire novels dedicated to that! I try writing a simple Rarijack skypirate story... too bad that exists also!
4275265 I've never read a killer Rarity fic, you should write one. Everyone is writing Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon gone straight stories, but I was like
"Why the heck not!?" And I'm writing one right now.
very simple and short, but very, very good.
Make more episode of their freindship and relationshipe, it could be a good work
4274995 4275234 4275265 So, by that logic, I should be happy that I beat the trend on stories about Fancy and Fleur's first meeting by almost a year?
More seriousy, I would write the idea anyway, because who knows how much people will like it regardless of its originality (as I constantly discover)?
4277311
Well once again I might actually have to get into writing fanfiction... probably not...
Awww, this was adorable!
Wow! This is amazing! I would really like a continuation, if you're up to the challenge.
Again, great work!
4277311 Agreed, it's not the trend, it's how you play it into the story.
this is teribal this deserves more then just a one shot but a whole 13 ch story line
Aw, I really liked this. I'm usually never into Fleur/Fancy stories because I've just never had interest in the characters, but I certainly wouldn't mind reading more of this
#ReasonsIlovefancypants
This was amazing. Thank you for writing it.
also ending y u end thar
That was a sweet piece.
thanks for writing it.
Gentlemen, take note-
That is how you write a short shipfic.
PERIOD.
I find short stories are tough to write. I think this is great. It can stand alone or be made larger if you like. Well done.
Well, that makes three. Three of your stories I find myself compelled to read.
just lovely
Real beauty of a story ya got here.
That was really good. I liked it.
I want this to be continued!!!!!!!
Umm...continue please?
Wait, how does that work?
I like this take on Fleur! I might have to look into her character a bit more!
fleur-de-lis reminds me of myself
like allot
like allot allot
in high school i never gave a crap about being in a relationship
what
why
he's hopeless
well maybe not
i never went to dances felt like a waste of time to me
and i would read manga in the library during lunch almost every day
but i have always liked romance if i came across it by chance
i read the megaman battle network manga first
it's pretty sweet
fantastic but dam dose feels
and it's amazing
there's so much
then deathnote
then full metal alchemist
and lastly the original naruto mange and now im in the middle of the new stuff
i had a fun time makeing this comment
Another good story. It made me laugh, as well as reminisce on some old memories I haven't thought about in years. I thank you for that.
4308629
Well, horses are probably flexible enough but I think it's a typo. If not it certainly conveys a certain humour when imagined
...where's the rest of it?
Hmm, nice story. Here's my small Review on it.
If you would like more reviews, you could submit your stories in this group within my folder for review.
The popular male showing genuine kindness to the unpopular girl? I can see this turning into a multi-chapter story, but it's still good on its own. Very well done.
Aww, this was a very cute fic. Great Job!
chapter 2!!!! Hurry
D'awwwwwwwwwwwww I love it
This was very lovely. Good work!
I love how you made fleur kinda dorky.
This story took place in 1993
But in 1995 fancypants got shot in the eye by BRONY USA
In 1996 BRONY USA was declare a hero In cloudsdale academy