Reader and writer of all things shipping and Rainbow Dash. Also, AppleDash will forever be the ultimate ship.
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Fleur de Lis525 stories ·661 members
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It was no secret that Fleur de Lis had a huge crush on the very important, and charming, Fancy Pants. She's willing to do anything to show him that she really cares, even visit the 'muddy old town' Ponyville to get some pictures of the place for him. However, when she's there she meets local farmer Big McIntosh. Now, something has changed.
Written for Random Romance January Contest.
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Yes!
Reading this in conjunction with Bad_Seed_72's The Order has given me plenty food for thought.
An enjoyable read.
Wow! Now that is a GREAT story. Figures a "country boy" would lasso a "city girl", well done, bravo! Also I love the pic of Big Mac.
Why do you keep typing him Big McIntosh when he's Big MACintosh
Outside of that, I like this story so far
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Thanks to all of you, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
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I know it sounds like Big Macintosh, but it's actually Big McIntosh. Trust me.
And that's the official transcript. Check out the mlp wiki if you don't believe me. Oh, and thanks for reading the story.
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Hasbro has used both, and both are fine.
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Yep
3864685 Okay, consider me swayed
Oh, it is a great calamity! I have so many words to speak, and yet my position renders such statements impossible!
Fact is, I'm not just your opposition for this competition, I'm also one of the reviewers of Random Romance (as you may or may not know). Not only that, I'm in charge of assigning reviews, and I can tell you with 100% confidence that, should I not win, it's will be my turn to submit a review. There's no point in firing off my opinion if you're going to get it all repeated in a review, anyways. Thus, I shall wait until the contest is over to say anything, just in case.
But I don't wanna.
Read mine if you want to get an idea of your competition!
A few hiccups in the writing early on, mainly in words that were used and at one point I think a word entirely missing the the sentence, but as it moved on, it seemed to have smoothed out, though the 'romance' aspect between her and mac, was far too... rushed. I think it would have been of more benefit to have made the fic longer to allow some development, rather than the just sudden. "I like ya", approach like that. was unnatural and took big mac far out of character.
On the positive side, I think you portrayed the other ponies aside from mac, rather well. :3
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Thanks. To be honest, I know the ending was rushed, mainly because it is. I only had a few days to write something, so I got this out. I was waiting for someone to comment on it, and, though it has been longer than I expected, hear is the comment. Even when I don't have a short deadline facing me, my biggest weak point is easily pacing. All the same, I'm glad you took the time to read.
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I tend to have a little issue with pacing myself I think. I seem to take far too long to get to where I am going, and I jump a bit, my writing skills come basically from years spent Online Role Playing, so I am TRYING for the love of all that's pony, to get myself more comfortable writing in true third person. rather than a blend that can only really be assumed as 2nd person. I need to continue my fic... I've spent so long away from it though that I am not sure where I exactly wanted it to all go. I might scrap it and work on a new one, but I feel that would be mad uncool for those who liked and faved it. ;-;
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Heh, I'm basically the opposite. I rush my stuff far too much so the ending comes quicker than it should've. Good luck with your writing.
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Thankies,you too. :D
As a quick note, mostly because I see this one more than I should: It isn't persay, its per se.
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Oh, okay. I'll change that.
I'm.... strangely drawn to this ship. It makes me sad there's not more to it! You have so many good one-hit stories, seriously! I can only imagine if you started adding more to them. They rock!
It was a fun little read, noticed a few errors. The biggest errors were missing and misspelled words. Kind of want to see this expanded a bit.
That is cute
I like this ship and have once or twice thought of it. The ideas are nice, even if the end was confusing for me, but, still, cute ship. 7/10
You're wrong, my dear
Well then this was a pretty nice one a little bit Rush into the relationship I still think this is pretty cute and then it's nice to see how Fleur de Lis to see the different side of the world instead of just looking down on lower class and what a way to have Big Macintosh to show her that again this was pretty nice keep up the good work