• Member Since 16th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen March 31st

That Drunk Pony


T
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Spike and Rarity go to Canterlot on a long weekend vacation both with plans, but things don't always go as planned. Spike and Rarity are in for a ride. Feelings will be tested and a new ship that I should have never attempted may come to light.
Thanks to a wonderful cover art donation, I have some cover art. I must thank you once more alexanderhunt88 for the great contribution.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 131 )

Oh hello, just, you know, gonna add this to favorites, and such :trixieshiftright: :trixieshiftleft:

A very unique premise and quite well done, though I never thought Fleur would be so...aggressive

A few criticisms, though:

* The first person lines come off awkwardly in the story. Try to reqork them to be part of the narrative.
* There are some odd phrasings that could use reworking (for example the line All the ponies were locked on them should read more like All eyes were locked on them)
* You don't need to mention the event that Fleur's meeting Spike reminded him of, since most readers here are familiar enough with the series to know exactly what you're referring to.

Overall though, a good read and I look forward to seeing more.

Oh, loving this right off the bat with Chapter One. I am very surprised that Fleur really took to Spike at first and danced with him being the popular and beautiful supermodel she is. Also, i find it kind of rude of Fancy Pants not even acknowledging Spike's presence with Rarity. I am liking the slow friendship Fleur and Spike is developng, but i hope it doesn't interfere with his plans for the next day with Rarity. Also, I am very worried about the presence Spike felt that was watching him. Either it could be Fancy Pants or Fleur, that are my two main guesses, because Rarity was in bed. Can't wait for the next chapter The Drunk Pony, and I hope you also continue with Spikes Jouney. :pinkiehappy:

Not bad, but it sounds rushed......

2146291

Possibly Fleur and her stalker tendencies.

this story's good but it's a little rushed and clunky

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I see what you guys mean. I probably could have gone deeper with the party thing and a few other parts. Maybe I will revise this now before I put the next chapter.

I enjoyed the story, I have to agree it feels rushed, but not to the point that it hurts the story. A little more detail into the world they walk as well as the ponies ...and dragon themselves would not hurt. Though not to the point you are having to grab for straws. I found no glaring mistakes or errors, but understand I do not look for them. I only notice them if they are bad but I found none so...no worries:pinkiehappy:
I look forward to more of this series Thumbs up and fave

Can't wait to see how those two progress.:ajsmug: Though you should have explain why she is so interested in Spike. I'm curious about that being watch feeling Spike got and it worries me. Hope we tell who it is soon.

A promissing premise. But you really need to make it clear just how big Spike is. I get that he might be taller to be able to dance and lift Fleur to make the swan thing. But then how could she carry him on her back? Is a bit inconsistent to me.
Other than that I really like where this is going.

A bit rushy but I'm digging it. Looking forward to the next chapter.

It’s a beautiful morning in Ponyville. The birds a singing, the ponies are awaking, and the sun has already rose over the horizon. Everything was peaceful. “AHHHHH”… Well almost everything was peaceful.

Twilight came running up the stairs of the library all flustered asking, “Spike! What’s wrong!?” She found Spike sweating and rushing around the house back and forth.

I've got a major bone to pick with you.

A. The first paragraph is in present tense, normally I'm fine with that, but...
B. The second paragraph is past tense:facehoof:

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funpages.com/bonetopick/bonetopick.jpg

Alright! Let's pick this bone up together then. Also I just fixed it a little, but I think I made it worse. That is fine with me, but idk if anyone else wants both paragraphs in the past now.

Not bad. I love Spike but if you ship Rarity and Fancy pants.

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Still nice lacks a bit of detail, but still nice, and no I will not kill you. I'm not crazy. YET!

Somepony went to see Spike when he arrived, Rarity jealous?:raritydespair:

Comment posted by That Drunk Pony deleted Mar 5th, 2013

Are you going to continue this is history?

2427749
yeah when i fully recover. not to mention i got a big writer's block on top of it.

2431289
You do not need to rush the story. Go as a leading romantic film even corny.
  Keep Rarity as she is, the distance, just looking at her, a mysterious foma, without giving any indication that it is actually Rarity. Really, this was one of the things I liked his way of telling. Truly very good.
Now, maybe, did Fleur think Spike exotic?
Does she want to provoke jealousy in Fancy Pants, but then truly becomes friends with Spike?
Maybe, did she is bored?
So maybe, did Spike remember a friend from her past?
Probably the best is to mix it all. XD
So keep it that way, implied, without stating anything right.

2431401
Unfortunately for me... I am a big picture person and is bad at details when it comes to writing, but when i draw its the opposite where I like details, but can't seem to fit it into the grand scheme of things. Also I do like to keep things hidden and either gradually reveal them or make it a big reveal at the end. i doubt most will guess what happens within the story, but can probably guess the end of this story.

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Laughing all the way home. Update? What is this that you speak of?

Now to be serious. I should definitely update this one first, but I am probably not going to until after my second story gets updated since the pitchforks, torches, and the angry mob. Gotta love that rage.

2671065
Shipping is like russian roulette. The more there are for a certain ship, the less chance it has to be good. So I decided to gamble and do a ship outside from what people have done. It is sad I haven't updated this *even though I wrote the summary and essence of the story on paper*. It just doesn't make sense. It's like I sit down to do it and my mind is at a blank. Dumb brain...

2672448 Hence why I added it to Crack Ships Inc :raritywink:

Do continue if you can, I'd be interested in seeing which direction this goes.

Crack pairings is best pairings after all.

MOAR, I HUNGER FOR MOAR!!!!

I love the spike's rainbow dash reference. And will rarity get super jelly over fleur ?

NVC

Glad to see that this fic isn't dead. A good chapter and I hope the ones to follow are just as good. :pinkiehappy:

Spike's Rainbow Dash reference FTW!

Mac Dragon Ching-Ching is in da hoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse!!!!!!

Nice Spike's Rainbow Dash. Good to see this story again.:pinkiehappy: Please tell me the next chapter will be up soon. This is one of those pairings that haven't been explore yet.:fluttershysad:

this is good.
like to see what will happen next?

Rarity, you tell Spike to behave himself and not to abandon you at the races, yet you don't even pay him any attention, because you are too busy chatting with Fancy Pants and his rich friends.:flutterrage: Shame on you Rarity for doing that to poor Spike. :fluttershysad:

Spike's Rainbow Dash reference.
2965149 Shame on her.

I'm sorry, Rares. :moustache: Fleur win!:trollestia:

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It will be answered in the next chapter. Truth be told this one and the next one were supposed to be one chapter, but i love cliffhangers and well I am going to post the second half of the second day either tonight if I stay awake *Brutal new job and all* or tomorrow around the same time as this was updated. Hmm I debated on either making or borrowing an artwork for this chapter, but it wouldn't fit right no matter where I put it. Oh well... CRACK SPIKE SHIPPING IS BEST SHIPPING!!!!

Also I planned on making that reference a long time ago. I guess it's better that its way later when Spike's Rainbow Dash is like an important event that happened long ago.

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hmm yes shame on her indeed. Well at least the next chapter won't disappoint you both. Rarity was wrong to ignore her friend. Can we call that an honest mistake since she tried to look after him when she realized what she did to the guy? Meh well hold your horses until the next chapter when day 2 ends.

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At first I didn't know how to respond to that. Then I found this.
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2966055
It ain't over yet. Spike De Lis: Episode 5 - Rarity Strikes Back!
I guess I would need 3 other episodes though...

Is this a fluer X Spike Shipping Story?

2966069 Well, I guess I can call it an honest mistake. Well, actually now because she asks him to behave himself and not abandon her, but it is okay for her to go chatting with Fancy Pants and his rich friends completely ignoring Spike. To me she is behaving very un-lady like. :fluttershysad:

2967267
hmm yes. i was thinking of giving a bonus ending(s) for other ways it could have turned out, but i don't think ill do it anymore or at least at a later time

2967921 forgive me... i saw it... and was wondering about the shipping... I havnt not read it.. but it is on my "Read Later" list for when i have time

O.K
1) there are no TV's in Equestris ( just a minor point.
2) Is this going to be a rarity X fancy and a Spike X Fleur? just a guess

2968054
Meh i felt like if i made it a play or something that Luna was watching, it would be really odd and large production for one alicorn. I just really wanted to get that one reference in there to show how this crack shipping was actually given to me from that story's author and another author.

as for shipping its spike x fleur as the name implies with a few possible bonus endings. as for rarity and fancy well you will have to read the next chapters when they reach day 5 also known as the final day

Apparently Rainbow Dash isn't the only one that knows about the Wonderbolts.....but then again, it makes sense that she gave Spike some of those stats. :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

It's always good to see Prince Blueblood got set up by the "peasant" dragon, especially when Spike won that bet. I just kinda wonder not that Spike just won 10,000 bits, but how did he even had 200 bits available to bet?

Also the scene in the box is classic pot/kettle: Spike blew off Rarity to hang out with Fleur, making Rarity a bit upset about it, and then 24 hours later, Rarity does the exact same thing to Spike by conversing with FancyPants despite Spike's big win.

So right now both of them realized that they did wrong. It's good that they are trying to mend the conflict. I just hope that they can at least reconcile once again as friends. There is a bit of implied Sparity based on how they two interact, plus the fact that it's just the two of them on a trip to Canterlot, but I am waiting for more on Fleur.

hm... strange that you make him the evil one... but not completely unexpected... just strange

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