• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen April 22nd

zyr1987


I'm Zyr1987 (Rhymes with sir) and I'm currently the only person to write stories about Fleur de Lis to any great extent. I also ship extensively and have been taking to combining the two in my stories

T
Source

After a passionate, year long relationship comes to a rather dispassionate end, Fancypants, and Fleur de Lis each decide that they could use some time away from Canterlot and each other, each independently choose to stay with a friend in Ponyville.

While there, Fancy finds himself falling for a mare he barely knows after her friend accidentally kicks an apple at his horn and sends him to the hospital, while the friend Fleur is staying with, a shy yellow pegasus, finds herself being drawn to her.

My entry for the Unloved Couples' Writing contest. Also an experiment in writing two pairings at once.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 23 )

If Fleur wasn't a blank slate, I would be in so much trouble with the Fancy pairing

Hm.

This is different.

I'm kinda liking it so far.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Well... I'll give you points for making it a amicable separation.

Interesting premise...
I think, however, that it would behoove you (I love using that word on this site) to find yourself at least one editor. There are a few typos and grammar goofs that could be easily patched up.

“Well, twhen the passion in our relationship died we drifted apart, eventually deciding to go our separate ways. It's too bad really. I thought we were perfect for each other.”

I'm sure there isn't a "t" there.
There are also a few grammar mistakes as well.

Anyway, I'm seeing more Fleur De Shy. Either way, this looks somewhat promising.

I am intrigued and wish to see where this goes.:pinkiesmile:

"I don't know but I'm sure that, if you look hard enough, you'll find somepony else with her honesty, beauty, and stubbornness," Rarity said as they turned the corner into the market square.

Honesty....Stubborness.... I wonder who that could be.... :ajsmug:

Yay, Fancyjack! :pinkiehappy:

Yes, I'll be watching this. *grabs popcorn*

“I guess,” Fancy said, trying to ea a muffin with his magic. The pain caused him to drop it back on his plate, and he resigned himself to eating it with his hoof.

*eat

We did didn't we? But, as I recall, we barely exchanged two sentences. I wouldn't call that a proper meeting.”

Missing punctuation

“Oui, right after one of her bigger shows She seemed miserable and I thought she could use a friend,” Fleur said.

Missing punctuation

“Anyway Do you mind if I stay and chat for a while, Fluttershy?” Rarity asked.

Uppercase letter

Aside from the few mistakes I saw here, this was a good chapter. And I can understand how it to write a pairing for two characters who don't really seem... compatible much, if that makes sense.

You're using a lot of telling and very ordinary dialogue (what do you want to eat, what do you have, list off food...) and not much emotion is coming through for them, though. I'm not feeling the breakup, nor the new interests yet.

And It's not hard to do Applepants. You just have to realize their commonalities. I've been working on them for the last year (just gotten bogged down in real life, fic challenges, and other stuff). AJ & Fancy Pants, while dissimilar ponies, have a chance to influence each other's worlds.

"She's a Hard-Working Earth Pony with Powerful Hooves and a Take-Charge Attitude. He's a Stylish Canterlot Unicorn Who knows Fashion Three Days Before It's Popular. They Fight Crime!" (Or just infuriate the locals, like so):

From my upcoming Fic:

His chuckle rumbled through her shoulder as he stood beside her. “Speaking of parties, I hear you provided all the food for the recent Royal Wedding. Do you have any idea how many bakeries, restaurants, fry stalls, catering services, and chefs you embarrassed by receiving that commission from the Princess?”

Applejack blinked, surprised at the sudden change in conversation. “Do I wanna know?”

“Oh, about the same number of seamstresses and dress shops Rarity infuriated by being commissioned to design the dress for the bride,” he said with an even wider grin. “I must admit, I haven't laughed that hard in a while watching the fallout. I was even nearly evicted from the Fifth Horseshoe Club.”

She gave him a disbelieving look. “Aw, now you're just makin' this up.”

Fancy Pants shook his head and put a foreleg on the railing. “On the contrary, I nearly popped a button off my vest when Silver Needle declared her intention to never set foot in your little town. As if that stuffed-up mare has ever left Canterlot in her life.”

:trollestia:

Hmmm.

Not much seemed to happen here. In terms of the plot.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Congrats on Winner the "Unloved Couples" group Random Ship contest!

Your story has also earned my Fav! Cant wait to see you continue with this story!

I want more ApplePants romance lol

Get the Fancy X Applejack romance.

Oh but then Applejack can see.

So.... I see your having fun with the Ship you got... Sorry it happened to be such a wierd one

I'm not liking this chapter too much. The pacing feels too fast and abrupt. A bit shallow, too.

3076340 Probably exactly and on-purpose-not-on-purposely who she was thinking of.

HAHAHA:rainbowlaugh::twilightsheepish: that was pretty funny. As a lover of slapstick comedy, I salute you.

"Fleur said, reveling in the wonder of jellied toast, something that, according to her agent, she wasn’t supposed to have due to all the carbs in it. "

Who knew someone could jelly toast so much.

Straight to the point. I like that! It matches their personalities, I think.

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