• Member Since 24th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 17th, 2020

Fishnchipz18


E

It was Spike's day off as he was enjoying a delicious gem-cake and a walk though town. What he didn't know though, was it was somepony else's day off as well...



Super-fluffy Cheerilee X Spike Fic that I came up with one day when my internet went out.

Cover Art by: http://pluckyninja.deviantart.com/

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 109 )

Hey look, First :rainbowwild: I'll give it a read

EDIT: Wow I just read it, couldn't find any mistakes and it was a nice little story.

This looks like a gem. Read Later!

Well, this was... interesting, in the sense that no one's ever done a SpikeXCherilee fic before. Ever. Aside from some poor grammar, it was actually kinda sweet. One thumb!

864320 864369 864372 Thanks so much guys for reading this story! :pinkiehappy: This was just a little something I threw together in my spare time. I honestly did not expect it to take off this fast.

864366 Yeah I noticed no one had ever really done something like this, so I figured it would be worth a shot. As far as the grammar goes, it would be great if you let me know which parts are grammatically incorrect that way I know how to avoid them in future works. Also I'm happy you enjoyed the story! :twilightsmile:

864355 I really hope you enjoy the story! :pinkiesmile:

864507>>864419 Thanks for reading! I hope I satisfied your thirst for a story somewhat! :twilightblush:

862249 I wonder if this will work...
864428 Cute story, would you mind making it a great deal longer please?

“We ended up falling asleep…”
“We did?” Spike asked confusedly, looking at the sky and noticing its dark ochre color. A frown came to Spike’s face as he looked down at the ground. “We didn’t get to do a whole lot…”
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/if-you-know-what-i-mean-meme.png Words are no longer needed with this meme.

864539 I...Dammit.... you have tainted that line...:facehoof: I'm honestly suprised I didn't catch it myself.... It wasn't what I was going for I swear! :scootangel:

You mean like a sequel/continuation? I don't know. The thought has crossed my mind, but I'm pretty satisfied with the ending as it is. If were to continue the story in any way I would have to introduce some form of conflict to keep the story going. I enjoyed the fluffyness and lack of conflict in the story. It might happen, but it's unlikely. I am sorry. :ajsleepy:

First time ever I think. Do more first times for Spike.

I love your concept, Spike/Cheerilee seems like a fantastic ship. The story however moves way to fast. I think if you wanted to keep the story the same length, you'd have to establish at the start of the story that Spike and Cheerilee have had feelings for each other for a while but haven't said anything. Anyways, just some advice. Kudos on not having spelling errors.

It was a nice sweet story i liked it alot :pinkiehappy:

Nice story CHAMP! Unique ship, only a few edits required, and you made me go DAW twice. Storied great out there!

UFB

Awww that was nice and sweet

i cant say i found anything truly wrong with the story, it was well written, well put together. and a very surpiseing pairing,
though i do have to say, in a bit of critique that although the descriptions of things where amazing, the dialogue just...fell kinda short, it was just to non realistic,
1 i dont really think that cherrilee could resist teasing spike at least a little when they run into each other
2 spike seems, way to infatuated with her way to quickly, like, he immediately wants her happiness over his, and i really don't see that trait being canon at all.

then there was the line
"As Cheerilee woke up she noticed this, the awkwardness setting in; but she couldn’t bring herself to wake Spike up,"
where cheerilee, who was seemingly attracted to spike prior, or at some point during their nap. so...why would she consider it awkward, not pleasant..?

finally, it seemed to... Shakespearean, what with love at first sight kinda thing. idk that one is just something that buggs me personally, so i wouldnt think this one matters at all if i were you
ps you should keep going with this. like try and make a few more chapters about how a dragon and a school teacher would function as a couple, it would be pretty cool to read.

That was...

images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/25600000/Szayel-gifs-szayel-aporro-granz-25653288-496-304.gif

Amazing! certainly the highlight to my evening. A heartstring puller at the least. Nice going.

i like it :twilightsmile:

Q: will there be an epilogue or something? or is this it? :unsuresweetie:

864784 865197 865205 865336 865459 865940 Wow, this story really took off! I'm happy all of you enjoyed this story so much! Thank you so much for reading! :heart:

864988 Thank you for liking the concept, I was wondering how it would float since I've never seen a Cheerispike fic before. As far as length goes, I agree it was a bit rushed, I actually wanted to do a lot more with the two of them after they walked but ended not knowing what else to do, so I just put them to sleep. :twilightsheepish: I also pride myself on making sure there are no spelling errors, I hate them so much. :rainbowdetermined2:

865451 goes back and reads story. Yeah I see what you mean. I wasn't too sure on how to make the dialogue work well without de-canonizing Spike and Cheerliee. :facehoof: But thank you! I'll make more of an effort to improve my dialogue! :rainbowdetermined2: As far as Cheerilee teasing Spike, I don't know, I never saw Cheerliee as one who would tease, but that's just my personal opinion. And yes the feelings were a bit rushed I'll admit. I had wanted to make this a lot longer but ended up shortening it for various reasons. That being said, I'm a very big fan of Shakespearean romance.

866339 I'm very happy you liked it! :pinkiehappy: As far as a continuation goes, I was flipping back on forth on it, but seeing how many people want it continued I might have to. We'll see. :derpytongue2:

Fisrt time I've found this couple. Apretty good story. A bit rush at the end, but never mind it was sweet and cute.
Nice job.

this is new but good

868890 Thank you! I certainly enjoyed writing this, and I'm happy you enjoyed reading it! Also yes, I know it was rushed, I ended up shortening it a lot more than I wanted to. :twilightsmile:

878216 Thank you for reading! I'm happy you enjoyed it! :heart:

878281 :raritystarry: !! I graciously accept this award (even if I don't think I deserve it)! I'd like to thank the academy! And all of you guys too of course! :twilightblush:

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬~ஜ۩۞۩ஜ~▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­▬
SHUT UP, AND ENJOY!
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬~ஜ۩۞۩ஜ~▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
(great story by the way (shut up and enjoy is meant for those who hate it) keep up the good work

895745 Haha, thank you for enjoying the story! I definitely will! :moustache:

896221 glad you replied:pinkiegasp:

896229 Of course! I'd feel rude if I didn't reply to people who were kind enough to leave a comment containing their thoughts on my story! :pinkiehappy:

897957 i know the feel:twilightsmile:

899320 how are you by the way:pinkiehappy:

899339 I can't complain really. I've been very busy though what with school and and an animated MLP project I'm working on. So I haven't been able to get much writing done. :ajsleepy:

“That one looks like a ship!” Spike exclaimed.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/348/126/415.png

I gotta say, I really enjoyed this. I love it when people come up with unusual ships and this was awesome :rainbowkiss:
I really wish you would have drawn it out a bit more but I can understand why you stopped. Keep making great stuff like this; I'll be watching... :pinkiecrazy:

938114 Heheheh I'm surprised someone caught that! :twilightsheepish: I'm happy that you enjoyed the story so much, I love unusual ships as well. There has been a few comments asking for a continuation, so I'll probably try and continue the story. Also thank you so much for the watch! I hope I do not disappoint you with my works! :pinkiehappy:

So..... *clears throat* Sequel?

Hunter C. Creed

979804 Yes, there will be a sequel. I cannot at this time give an ETA though. I'm currently swamped with obligations at the moment and I haven't had any time to write at all. I'll try to get back to writing as soon as possible but I'm not sure when that is. I apologize. :ajsleepy:

Thank you though for favoriting and watching! I really hope I can get something out here in the next week or so! :twilightsmile:

Oh good lord, the fluff. Hnng, my heart!

Loved it. :pinkiesmile: Moved a bit fast, though pacing is something I have trouble with so I can't really judge. Props for the strange, though cute, pairing. Gotta love the outrageous-ness of it all.

I might have to do a SpikexCheerilee story myself.~ Gotta finish off all the other stories I started first, though. :twilightblush:

1014890 Yes, feel the fluff stop your heart! I'm happy enjoyed you the story, and as far as the pace goes, yeah it did move a bit too fast for my tastes but what can you do now? I absolutely love crack-pairings and this one has always been on my mind. I look forward to reading your Cheerispike fic when you make it! :pinkiehappy:

i have never seen this ship before, not only that but it's never even occured to me.

...and here i thought i'd finally seen everything. well you've got my attention, cus if there's one thing i love it's a rare ship

1048323 Yeah I'm one of those fans who wades through tons of fanfictions to find the rare ships, so being one of those, I decided to write a rare ship! Um, unfortunately due to massive time constraints that have been placed on me, I've gotten like no writing done within the last few weeks, I'm going to try and find the time to get some writing done, but I don't know when I can get a sequel out. I hope you enjoy/enjoyed (your comment makes your state of reading kind of ambiguous.) the story! :twilightsmile:

1049775
really? i thought i was the only one. as a result i'm willing to give any kind of ship a chance. sadly though, especially with the sudo rare pairings, finding good quality can be tough(applejack x spike i'm looking at you :flutterrage:). but when you see a gem then they can really wow you. :twilightsmile:

i also like them because i always think before reading, "how are they going to justify these two getting together. :rainbowhuh:" finding a strong link can be a true sign of talent in a good writer. :twistnerd:

that said what do i think of your story in front of me? (speaking of i'm sorry about my first comment. i wrote it before reading and i should have done a follow-up by now) aaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway i thought your story was very nice. the characterization was fairly accurate although i thought spike started acting a bit younger then i was used to towards the end, almost emphasizing to me how he's still a baby. i don't need that. i already feel that way with most spike fics. also i think your pacing was decent, however i think most of the scenes would have benefited from at least another paragraph of dialogue.

the only thing i kinda didn't like was the fact that A) spike asking cheerilee of all ponies didn't sound like something spike would do, at least not without due prompt and B) cheerilee as an grown adult would accept such an offer without hesitation. now my reason being that I as a grown adult. despite also loving children and often play with them as that is my job in the family, to be that kind of uncle. that beeing said that i would only agree to relinquish any of my well earned FREE time with kids only if i had absolutely nothing to do because since minding kids takes up a large amount of my time anyway i often like to spend my free time as a relative hermit.

still i realize how obscure this ship is and so there isn't a reliable base platform for jumping off and as such i respect your ambition in taking that challenge. heck i'm now tempted to try MY hand at this ship to see if i can put my money where my over-analytic-mouth is. heck i actually liked to ending a bit. i know I've defiantly praised worse. :twilightblush:

shit!! long reply is long so i'll simply say this; nice story, i see potential in it. will track because of rare ship+ agreeable writing+ imaginative concept = profit. :pinkiecrazy:

DONE. BYE. GOOD LUCK :moustache:

1052400 Eeeyup. :eeyup: I can agree that finding good rare ship fics are well...rare!

Anyways, I'm happy you enjoyed the story! As far as Spike acting a bit younger, I was kind of going for that. I have read a number of fics where Spike instantly becomes mature and knows everything there is to know about romance. I didn't want to do that. I wanted to emphasize his "naivete" when it comes to romance. To that end, I do think I ended up making him a bit younger than I would have liked. As far as the pacing goes, I actually didn't care for the pacing that I ended up with. I wanted the pacing to be a bit more slow, but due to lack of imagination, I ended up kind of rushing the story. That in turn leads into the two problems that you pointed out. I would have enjoyed it more if I had let their emotions bud over time rather than within such a short time.

So long story short, thanks you very much for your criticism/praise! I look forward to your fic if you decide to write it! :twilightsmile:

1068557
well i can see where you were going in your attempts but pacing should never be ignored my friend. plus if you really did want more emotional driven segments in the story then defiantly but them in there. i have become very picky about whether or not i should like a shipfic that ignores them altogether. they are the most important part of the whole romance part of the enterprise. i'd say what you need is a proof-reader or if you have one then maybe consider getting one or two more because you could benefit from a number of opinions and it would increase your chance at ironing out all the kinks.

and finally yes i am praising you but don't let that get to your head. i liked your story and i have a feeling your on the way to improving and i love seeing that happen. i'm always there too to provide constructive criticism or if i can't say anything nice then you can trust be to be honest and advise you on what might be done from my perspective.... plus thanks for the vote of confidence dude, i'm supper lazy so it might be a while before i write it but if i ever do i'll send it to you before i post. feel free to tell me how much lack of talent i posses k? :scootangel:

1072501 Well of course I'd never ignore pacing, I was just saying I kind of didn't care for the pacing that I ended up with. Pacing is a very important part of any story. Proof-readers are an idea, since I've none. As far as letting praise get to my head, fat chance of that. Even with this many people liking this story, I still don't think it's a very good story.

plus thanks for the vote of confidence dude, i'm supper lazy so it might be a while before i write it but if i ever do i'll send it to you before i post. feel free to tell me how much lack of talent i posses k?

Not a problem mate! I also am a bit on the lazy side as well so I know how that goes lol. :rainbowwild: I look forward to reading once you write it!

1074344
cheers man, i better get brain storming. :twistnerd:

and plus if you are in desperate need of a proof-reader i would gladly offer my services, you seem like a stand up guy :twilightsmile:

1074920 Well if I ever get another story done that would be great! :pinkiehappy:

1077151
the offer's on the table, it's always something i wanted to do since i seemed to do that for all my friends essay's, projects and business letters anyway :pinkiehappy:

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