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After Chrysalis gets defeated and Shining Armor and Cadance return to normal, Celestia tells Twilight that she has real wedding to put together. But after all they did to her earlier makes this chance to lose her temper and snap at them.
(This is going through one final set of changes to make it better, because I suddenly realized that Celestia did defend her subjects, so she has no need to be arrested.)
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This is exactly how I felt during that situation.
Good premise. Terrible execution.
well I still like bitterness than this.
More! Make Twilight's friends suffer! Yes!
I'm going to have to agree with Justy. I like the premise, but the execution needs work. I definitely wouldn't go for violence or swearing
This could be improved. Alot. Grammar mistakes, medium amounts. Still, I like, and I enjoy this. The feeling of making friends/people you care about realize the pain which they caused you...
...God, I'm weird.
So awesome :D
this has already been said im not nitpicky about grammer but theres some grammer mistakes here and there like imposing should be posing or pretending i guess
I hope you continue you this. I'm anxious to see what'll happen next now that the wedding has been called off.
4175299 What kind do you expect, a fist fight?
WOW, not only Twilight said the truth to THEIR faces, but also Cadance GOT angry at Shining Armor and Spike as well said the truth, and as a Cherry in the top, Celestia is arrested for high treason!
This is good for business!!!
4177141 Hell no, we expect a hoof fight
4178141 You only kick and punch for self-defense.
4178243 What are you, my mother?
4178262
Not the quality I was hoping for, but it'll do for now.
I... honestly, this is pretty bad. I can't fathom how this received forty-four Ups.
Grammar aside, everyone here was severely out of character, and the writing/narrative itself just made everything cringe-worthy -- it all reads as a "bash-fic" than a plausible scenario of a cluster-fuck.
I'm not at my desktop at the moment, so I cannot go into more detail here, but if you send me a PM later, I can give you a lot of help when I'm back at it.
Recived a message saying that you updated chapter 2, but when I wanted to read it, it didn't appear. What happened?
go to hell Spike. Let's see her raise the "stupid sun" if she gets killed fighting things only the Elements of Harmony can defeat. And she did defend them against the changelings. It's not treason to fail
Where's chapter 2? I received an update message, but I don't see it.
4179978 not done yet.
4179821 4179978 So did I, but it doesn't seem to be up yet.
Wonder why we got a notification that it's up when it's clearly not? Weird.
I guess something just hiccuped somehow.
Finally someone points out the fact that Celestia does nothing in these important times.
4175350 Looks at the tags and chapters.
Yeah, no. Sadly that's not gonna happen. This isn't the kind of Canterlot Wedding story that we would like Mister Kyurem.
4184509 belpheles.com/memes/97220_YTb5CauNeS7nbtI.jpg
My thoughts regarding the end of the newly rewritten chapter one can be described as thus:
This is an interesting remake on the story. Although if I was to pic something out, I'd like to say that when Twilight still insists that 'She saw it' wasn't really justified as enough.
This still makes little sense. Personally I would have gone about having her say something like;
"I know I NEEDED proof and I KNOW I acted irrational! But does that really excuse the fact that we were facing the threat of an attack?! Did that excuse the fact that nopony thought to carry out ANY checks for the behaviour of Cadance?! Or Shining?! Didn't any of you bother to think it could have been better safe than sorry?! Or were you all just to blind to your own ignorance and stupidity because materialism is more important than friendship?!"
Just as a heads up. ^^; Still, nice rework going on so far. :)
Hope to see some more soon.
hopefully this time the chapters will be better focused.
I guess THIS is the best alternate version of the wedding in Canterlot!
This story has taken an interesting turn
FAIR WARNING the next one who comments about me re-writing it, and I'm deleting it!
4620721 okay thanks for the warning.
It is heating up !! I hope that there is going to be more of twilight and cadance helpin each other
Ponysax
well I can tell this will have a downer ending.
4627485 I agree. As of right now, the Elements bearers are disbanded. Even if a threat shows up, the Elements of Harmony can't be used because their friendship is in serious jeopardy of collapsing. I have to wonder what Luna's response to all this will be. As well as her excuse for not showing up during the attack.
I look forward to the next chapter.
THIS IS VERY GOOD FOR BUSINESS!!!
I can't WAIT to know what's going to happen WHEN Luna returns.
WHERE Was she, by the Way?
Yay, new chapter! Hope to see more soon!
Don't forgive them that easily. Celestia might be forgiven, considering that she had to choose between her niece and student. But the rest of Twilight friends had just completely abandoned her from the beginning. They don't deserve the easy way out considering that their actions were their own. Shining Armor's reason for leaving is dumb aswell. He left his job because he didn't even see the changes in his wife, which he afterwards blames it on the princess. He gets an A+ for shoving away his troubles caused by his own incompetence. I don't know if he was already under a mind control spell or not, but the reaction that Cadance had given him had quite an impact. It depends on how far his mind was gone and what actions were his own or just controlled by Chrysalis.
Anyway, these were my thoughts on this story so far.
Wow, that was a fast update. I like.
I can't read this, everypony is just acting way too retarded it's embarrassing.
I think you meant "me"
4631040 I totally agree. Twilight's friends need to really prove to Twilight how sorry that are and somehow assure her that they won't ditch/betray her again. Especially, the Element of Loyalty.
Twilight will eventually forgive Shining Armor, just like Celestia forgave Luna, because they are family. Personally, I think Shining Armor was not brainwashed when he told Twilight not to come to the wedding. However, I do believe Chrysalis had to brainwash him in order for the wedding to happen without Twilight there. As for Celestia, Twilight might forgive her after a very sincere apology, after she did some serious thinking, but I doubt Twilight will become her student again. The trust just isn't there anymore.
The coming chapter(s) will be quite interesting.
4631147
4631040
I agree with you! Twilight "friends" need to earn Twilight's trust once again, but what Shining Armor did to her, its more painfull, Because Shining is Twilight brother, she is more family that Cadance, isn't supposed that the family must trust each other. If Shining Armor didn't BOlieved Twilight, even WHEN Twilight WAS right, how can Twilight trust and forgive Shining Armor?
I suppose that Twilight must not forgive HER "friends" so easy. Specially Rainbow Dash the "element of loyalty". How loyal she is, right? And Shining leave Twilight for Cadance Was Shining's choice, IT didn't have to do with Chrysalis mind controlling Shining, Celestia, Spike or Twilight "friends". Those WHERE their choices.
I would ALSO feel betrayed if I experience the same that happened to Twilight in her brother wedding. I always say that THIS is the ULTIMATE betrayal!!!
4631255 I agree with you! If I was Twilight, I wouldn't forgive any of them! If there's one thing Twi needs to learn, it's "look out for yourself, and to tartarus with everypony else."
4631255 I agree that leaving Twilight in the first place was HIS choice. However, the fact that the wedding was going to happen without her there, I believe, WASN'T his choice. There was a reason Chrysalis had to completely take control of his mind.
4631365 Personally, I disagree with that philosophy. "No man (or mare) is an island."
4631040 4631147 I totally agree with you both, and I don't think I could've come up with a better way to say it myself.
I think that, when Spike returns to Ponyville to retrieve his and Twilight's things, he should let the Mayor know that he and Twilight will be leaving town indefinitely, and won't be back til they feel ready to, if they ever do decide to come back. And then he should let his and Twilight's ex-friends know what they've lost by their selfish actions.
(I kinda hope that the ponies in Ponyville wind up giving 5 certain ponies the cold shoulder for what they did, too. It's certainly serve 'em all right. IMHO.)
And like you, MuzaWaza, I think that those five need to earn Twilight's friendship and trust back. That's not going to be easy, given the circumstances. As we all know.
And where Rainbow Dash is concerned, does anyone want to hold her down for me while I buck some sense into that thick skull of her?! All she's thinking about is that she lost her chance to show her Sonic Rainboom again, not about Twilight's feelings.
Well, I want to do that to all of the addlebrains, but mainly Dash. And to a certain extent, Applejack, as well.
(Although I think that I noticed that Applejack and Rainbow were the only ones of the Mane 5 to weigh in on things. I don't think I saw Rarity, Fluttershy or Pinkie ever once put their 2 bits in on what happened, and the cancellation of the wedding. But I need to go back and re-read the chapter to be sure.)
So, to that end, I'd kinda like to see what their perspective is. On the train ride back to Ponyville, perhaps?
Anyway, can't wait for the next chapter to see what other fireworks happen!
Weird thing, though: this story is in my favorites, but yet I didn't get a notification in my "Favorites" box here, and instead noticed that it had updated when I checked my "Feed" notifications. And quite honestly, I getting rather tired (to say nothing of highly aggravated!) when the only time I get proper notification is either through my "Feed" or e-mail notifications!
I just wish that Knighty or the staff would look into this and find out just why this keeps happening, not just to me, but to (I'm assuming) all of us.