• Member Since 4th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen June 15th

Black Kyurem


I am the ultimate anti-brony!

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Taking place a week after the royal wedding of Canterlot, Twilight has a nightmare which leads her to believe that the Changeling threat is still at large and anyone around her could be in disguise. Her personal worries get even worse when she gets haunted by a scarring incident caused by her brother and her friends the night before the wedding and believes that no one can help her. But when Twilight breaks down and suffers from emotional trauma, will her friends be able to realize the importance and value of true friendship through their foolish mistakes? Or have they not learned a thing at all this whole time?

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Chapters (12)
Comments ( 434 )

I would also have a trust issue with everyone I considered a friend if something like this happen...

Very good. The funny thing is it kinda serves as a prologue to my fic, in which the changelings actually do reinvade... Poor Spike.:yay::fluttercry:

Patience, my good bronies... or fans, or... users. Black Kyurem intentionally stopped here because he wanted to wait for approval first. And now that he has it, Black Kyurem's next intention is to upload the rest of this all at once! He just needs a little more time. Thank you for your patience.

Right on Cadance! You tell them! :moustache:

I think personally Shining Armor acted the way he did during the wedding rehersal was because Chrysalis disguised as Cadence was brainwashing him and making him unable to resist her, as a result he took all the anger out on Twilight when he might have just taken her aside or just left her to check on his bride to be. :applejackunsure:

Right on Cadance! You tell them! :moustache:

Wahaha! Black Kyurem hardly expected that! Brohoof!

Almost thought we were going to see a repeat of "Lesson Zero" there for a moment. :twilightoops:

*sniff* :fluttercry:
Dammit! They better address this issue in the show! Cadence should have bitch-slapped Shiny. Also the picture for chapter 3 wasn't working.

Cadence should have bitch-slapped Shiny.

Well, Black Kyurem was thinking of that one bit from the Disney Pixar film Ratatouille to be honest. The woman almost slaps the guy, but doesn't.

Also the picture for chapter 3 wasn't working.

That's funny, it does for Black Kyurem. He even uploaded it to his own web site to be sure.

*fakes construction noises* Black Kyurem is trying to keep up here. He had everything all typed up in a Word doc so all he has to do is copy and paste.

Black Kyurem doesn't have a dA page.

Lets see what her mom and dad can do for her

Three chapters in one day, you are on a role my friend. :pinkiesmile:

Why weren't her folks at the wedding in the first place? :rainbowhuh:
Darn you canon plot holes! Darn you!

Three chapters in one day, you are on a role my friend. :pinkiesmile:

Black Kyurem is trying to get the whole darn thing up actually. He waited till he got approval after submitting the Prologue and Chapter 1 to do the rest.

...I've used up all my sad for the night, nice work.
This deserves to be in the feature box.

Yeah, Black Kyurem is partly religious, but not a whole lot. Black Kyurem couldn't exactly find a YouTube video of the one from the film version starring Victor Garber, so he posted the lyrics instead.

Nope. Just wanted to build up a bit of suspense. Hehe...

*takes a bow* Yeah, Black Kyurem sometimes amazes even himself.

Hehe, thanks. So it helped that Black Kyurem had it all typed up first before he started. I guess that's the way Black Kyurem goes at these things.

Awww come on, Twilight....

Well, that was very good work overall. I generally liked this story and it pretty much summed up my grievances about the season finale. That said, I would like to point out the elephant in the room that you ignored and the plot hole it opened up.

Shining Armor wasn't fooled, he was under mind control! :flutterrage:

So, at the very least, he gets a pass by way of bamboozlement.

Otherwise, good work.

1239256 I wouldn't call it an elephant, it is a plothole but a smaller one.
He may have been controlled but even then the words hurt, he left her when she needed him most.
Complete alienation is extreme, but it is very real to assume the relation is tainted.

The other unresolved thread is the political revolution. Yes it's twilight's story but is odd that we have Celestia saying "Look we have a place for shelter, Let's build something," and nobody says "hold on, why are we still doing what you are saying?" although :trollestia:

Not much Black Kyurem could do to wrap that one up, I'm afraid. He didn't want to dwell on the side story for too long, so Black Kyurem just decided to have Celestia remind her people what really matters in Equestria. And was Shining Armor really controlled the entire time throughout "A Canterlot Wedding, Part 1"? Black Kyurem knows he was in Part 2, but his eyes weren't exactly glowing green in Part 1. Either way, there was a lot of audacity in the original episodes as far as things went.

1239930
You need to get a proofreader to touch this up. Then send it to EQD. :twilightsmile:

1239413 You're right about the impact it has, but the story goes and treats it as though it was something Shining was doing on his own free will and that he shares the same guilt as the rest of the Mane Six and Celestia. The fact that he was under mental enslavement at the time (which, come to think of it, might leave him in need of some therapy himself) never even comes up. In a way, Shining was as much of (if not more) a victim than Twilight. Cadance should know better, since she was the one who actually had to snap him out of it.

1240273

Then send it to EQD. :twilightsmile:

It is an honor for you to think so. But for starters, Black Kyurem must edit this and change a few mistakes my brother pointed out. But since you mentioned it, Black Kyurem will consider it, even if he's not a brony himself.1240273

EDIT: Image for Chapter 2. Again, if anyone notices anything grammatically incorrect or whatever, please notify Black Kyurem so he can fix it.

1240378 Black Kyurem wants you to know something. Okay, so what if Shining Armor was brainwashed when he said those awful words? In any case, Black Kyurem did mention that Twilight's friends didn't care. They put the fake bride ahead of her and didn't stay behind and say "Oh, why did your brother say those awful things? Sure, you acted mean, but you don't deserve to get kicked out of the wedding. We need to work this out somehow." See what Black Kyurem means? So, brainwashed or not, Black Kyurem doesn't care. Mean, mean, mean. Besides, there's no way Shining Armor could be brainwashed for the entirety of Part 1.

Wow it doesn't take much for the citizens of Canterlot to be swayed either way, they form an opinion one moment and then dsiregard the next. :trixieshiftright:

1240408
There are folks on the site who can help you with that. Proofreaders and People willing to proof-read might be a good place to start. They helped me out with my fic.

Shining Armor a prince, I wonder what the residents of Canterlot would think about that? :pinkiegasp:

1240440 Um yeah, he pretty much was, in the form of constant "headache cures" and I never said that this excuses the way Twilight's friends acted, just Shining. There is being deliberately mean and then there's being mean because the freaking Changling Queen is subverting your consciousness so that she can harvest your love for power. You treat as though nothing of the sort was happening and Shining wasn't getting zapped Celestia knows how many times a day for his "headaches."

I know Twilight's friends think they deserve it but just because your friends hurt you before in a time of need doesn't mean they'll do it again, I know that emotional tramua takes longer to heal but I think Twilight took the easy way out, instead of trying to patch things up with her friends and family she wants to make new friends, but what happens if those friends hurt her as well or treat her worse than her old friends did? :facehoof:

I should've known Twilight wouldn't just ditch her friends because of what happened at the wedding. :ajsleepy:

Gret job my friend, you've done a great job at expanding on where the epilouge of "A Canterlot Wedding" left off. :pinkiehappy:

@SuperPinkBrony12: For starters, Shining Armor is a prince by marriage, everyone knows that. According to the toy merchandise, he and Cadance are co-rulers of the Crystal Empire.

@moguera: Then, apparently, Twilight's friends and Celestia could not tell the difference. And the point is, no one bothered to listen to her when they should have. A lot of previous friendship lessons were "negated" that day all because Twilight's friends were suckered in by someone who was nothing but smoke and mirrors. If they were really Twilight's friends, they would have listened and taken precautions.

1240491 That's a very good question. Black Kyurem doesn't know the answer to that one. Either the cycle repeats itself, or Twilight gradually learns to trust no one. But Black Kyurem admits, you caught him there.

In Shining Armour's defence, it should also be noted that Chrysiis was regularly using mind control spells on his to lower his ability to reason. By the time of the Rehearsal, his reasoning ability was so impaired that it is unlikely he would have voluntarily done anything other than attempt to please the Queen of the Changelings. If anything, I would think that Shining would have just as many problems as his younger sister having been pretty thoroughly mind-raped in a way that has got to have undermined his faith in his own willpower and identity.

Honestly I'm disappointed with this ending, all the chapters in one day is awesome but the way it closed the story made it feel slimmed down. The crowd being satisfied with Celesta’s speech seems strange as it offered no solutions to the problems presented nor reason not to depose her. This combined with twilight's symptoms disappearing strangely fast and a pauperize party for someone with PTSD? Sure, surprise someone who believes there friends to have sporadic undependable behaviour...

In short this story had the one thing I dislike second most amongst stories, creating a story with massive potential and then cutting short of actually achieving any of it. Lastly since Twilight [appeared to] have(s) other psychological disorders already, why were none such issues addressed in the scenes with the psychotherapist?

Black Kyurem thinks this comic makes it seem like Shining Armor was in his right mind at least when he said all that stuff.

The point of leaving such things unresolved is that they don't just go away overnight. It's something that people have to work and strive for every day. In this case, Twilight would be having to cope with her current condition for a while longer while Celestia steadily works harder to ensure the well-being of her people. As for things happening on the turn of a dime, Black Kyurem wanted to at least get Twilight on her hooves again instead of just writing 5 to 10 more chapters. For starters, Black Kyurem did span the story over five days. Black Kyurem knows some things aren't gonna cut it, but no one's perfect. Black Kyurem sure as hell is not.

1240699

Exactly what I was thinking. In fact, a plot point in my own fanfic is that, despite the fact that Shining had been brainwashed, he was fully aware of what was going on under Chrysalis's control. He just couldn't DO anything about it.

1241825 Black Kyurem doesn't care about excuses. It doesn't matter because no one else thought Shining Armor was being far too harsh nor did anyone protest. They all walked out on Twilight like she deserved it so that makes them just as bad. If Shining Armor was really out of control, then someone should have said something like "Shining Armor, what are you saying?" Black Kyurem for one still thinks that Shining Armor let his own judgment get in the way, and so did everyone else. It comes to Black Kyurem that not everyone who's seen the episodes has grasped the bigger picture.

1. No excuse for rudeness EVER, so none of Twilight's friends should have passed off the fake bride's rudeness as nerve.
2. If Shining Armor had been brainwashed this entire time, he like Cadance would not have recognized Twilight and would have been just as rude as her. The imposter failed to copy Cadance's memories and even if she deliberately made Twilight suspicious of her just to set her up, that still cost her because a real villain would not do that.
3. If this was a test to see how well Twilight's friends have learned their lessons, Black Kyurem gives them all an "F" for jumping the gun on Twilight by just assuming she was trying to spoil her brother's wedding when in fact she was trying to save his skin.
4. Again, it doesn't matter if Shining Armor was brainwashed, Twilight's friends should not have abandoned her and there are hints in Part 2 that they didn't care about what happened to her.
5. While it's true that Shining Armor could have used some therapy, Black Kyurem was focused on injury of the heart, not the mind. Who's heart was really broken on the wedding rehearsal night?
6. Black Kyurem well aware that no fanfic is without its flaws, and Black Kyurem is certainly not trying to make mine flawless, but all Black Kyurem is doing is trying to present the bigger picture before we start busting out the disagreements.

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